In today’s era, there are numerous companies and corporate organizations utilize advertisements to promote their products and make their businesses more productive and profitable. This advertising method persuades consumers to purchase unnecessary stuff which they do not even require. This essay will discuss both merits and demerits of this circumstance. From the positive perspective, advertising plays a vital role in attracting consumers’ attention through different marketing mediums which give people the information about about the existence and nature of the product to create its market. Advertisements are highly advantageous to every business from small shops to large companies, in a result, highly establish their brand identity and reputation successfully. Furthermore, advertisements are significantly impact in increasing the sales of the specific product. For example, a company lures consumers to buy products by offering lucrative deals and discounts. Eventually, the consumers end up purchasing them, increasing the company’s turnover and bringing tremendous profits. However, there are some drawbacks as well. Some advertisements mislead consumers to purchase their products which sometimes does not consist of the quality of advertised product. For instance, advertisements allure consumers with discounts but offer cheap quality products. Consequently, consumers felt cheated after using the products and lost faith in that brand. This way or the other, advertisements misguide the public in a significant manner. To sum up, despite its advantages like facilitating promotional sales and turnover to the company, advertisements also has disadvantages such as misleading consumers about products or exaggerating uses of those. Therefore, as wise consumers, it’s our responsibility to ensure that we buy the necessary products.
In today’s era, there are numerous companies and corporate organizations utilize advertisements to promote their products and make their businesses more productive and profitable. This advertising method persuades consumers to purchase unnecessary stuff which they do not even require. This essay will discuss both merits and demerits of this circumstance.
From the positive perspective, advertising plays a vital role in attracting consumers’ attention through different marketing mediums which give people the information about about the existence and nature of the product to create its market. Advertisements are highly advantageous to every business from small shops to large companies, in a result, highly establish their brand identity and reputation successfully. Furthermore, advertisements are significantly impact in increasing the sales of the specific product. For example, a company lures consumers to buy products by offering lucrative deals and discounts. Eventually, the consumers end up purchasing them, increasing the company’s turnover and bringing tremendous profits.
However, there are some drawbacks as well. Some advertisements mislead consumers to purchase their products which sometimes does not consist of the quality of advertised product. For instance, advertisements allure consumers with discounts but offer cheap quality products. Consequently, consumers felt cheated after using the products and lost faith in that brand. This way or the other, advertisements misguide the public in a significant manner.
To sum up, despite its advantages like facilitating promotional sales and turnover to the company, advertisements also has disadvantages such as misleading consumers about products or exaggerating uses of those. Therefore, as wise consumers, it’s our responsibility to ensure that we buy the necessary products.
In today’s era, there are numerous companies and corporate organizations utilize advertisements to promote their products and make their businesses more productive and profitable. This advertising method persuades consumers to purchase unnecessary stuff which they do not even require. This essay will discuss both merits and demerits of this circumstance.
From the positive perspective, advertising plays a vital role in attracting consumers’ attention through different marketing mediums which give people the information about about the existence and nature of the product to create its market. Advertisements are highly advantageous to every business from small shops to large companies, in a result, highly establish their brand identity and reputation successfully. Furthermore, advertisements are significantly impact in increasing the sales of the specific product. For example, a company lures consumers to buy products by offering lucrative deals and discounts. Eventually, the consumers end up purchasing them, increasing the company’s turnover and bringing tremendous profits.
However, there are some drawbacks as well. Some advertisements mislead consumers to purchase their products which sometimes does not consist of the quality of advertised product. For instance, advertisements allure consumers with discounts but offer cheap quality products. Consequently, consumers felt cheated after using the products and lost faith in that brand. This way or the other, advertisements misguide the public in a significant manner.
To sum up, despite its advantages like facilitating promotional sales and turnover to the company, advertisements also has disadvantages such as misleading consumers about products or exaggerating uses of those. Therefore, as wise consumers, it’s our responsibility to ensure that we buy the necessary products.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"In today’s era" -> "In the contemporary era"
Explanation: "In the contemporary era" is a more formal and precise way to refer to the current time period, enhancing the academic tone of the essay. -
"utilize advertisements" -> "employ advertisements"
Explanation: "Employ" is a more formal synonym for "utilize" in this context, aligning better with academic language standards. -
"make their businesses more productive and profitable" -> "enhance their business productivity and profitability"
Explanation: "Enhance" is a more precise verb than "make," and using "productivity" and "profitability" as nouns improves the formality and specificity of the statement. -
"persuades consumers to purchase unnecessary stuff" -> "influences consumers to acquire unnecessary items"
Explanation: "Influences" is a more formal term than "persuades," and "acquire" is more precise than "purchase," and "items" is more formal than "stuff." -
"This essay will discuss" -> "This essay will examine"
Explanation: "Examine" is a more academically appropriate verb than "discuss" for a formal essay, implying a deeper analysis. -
"different marketing mediums" -> "various marketing channels"
Explanation: "Channels" is a more specific and formal term than "mediums" in the context of marketing, and "various" is more precise than "different." -
"give people the information about about the existence and nature of the product" -> "provide consumers with information about the product’s existence and nature"
Explanation: "Provide" is more formal than "give," and rephrasing the sentence improves clarity and grammatical correctness. -
"highly establish their brand identity and reputation successfully" -> "successfully establish a strong brand identity and reputation"
Explanation: Removing "highly" and rephrasing the sentence improves the flow and formality of the statement. -
"significantly impact" -> "significantly impacts"
Explanation: "Impacts" should be in the singular form to agree with the singular subject "advertisements." -
"lures consumers to buy products" -> "entices consumers to purchase products"
Explanation: "Entices" is a more formal synonym for "lures," and "purchase" is more formal than "buy." -
"Eventually, the consumers end up purchasing them" -> "Ultimately, consumers are compelled to purchase them"
Explanation: "Ultimately" is more formal than "eventually," and "compelled" suggests a stronger influence than "end up," which is less formal. -
"does not consist of the quality of advertised product" -> "does not meet the quality advertised"
Explanation: "Does not meet the quality advertised" is a more direct and formal way to express the idea. -
"Consequently, consumers felt cheated" -> "Consequently, consumers feel cheated"
Explanation: "Feel" should be in the present tense to maintain consistency with the ongoing effect described in the sentence. -
"This way or the other" -> "in either case"
Explanation: "In either case" is a more formal and precise expression than "this way or the other," which is colloquial. -
"advertisements also has disadvantages" -> "advertisements also have disadvantages"
Explanation: "Have" should be used to agree with the plural subject "advertisements." -
"as wise consumers" -> "as discerning consumers"
Explanation: "Discerning" is a more formal and precise adjective than "wise" in this context, fitting better with the academic tone.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both the merits and demerits of advertising, as requested by the prompt. The introduction clearly outlines the intention to discuss both sides, and the body paragraphs provide relevant examples of both the advantages (e.g., attracting consumer attention, increasing sales) and disadvantages (e.g., misleading consumers, poor product quality). However, the discussion of the merits could be slightly more balanced with the demerits to ensure equal weight is given to both sides.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could include more specific examples or case studies that illustrate the negative impacts of advertising alongside the positive effects. This would create a more balanced discussion and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges the dual nature of advertising. The conclusion reiterates this balanced view, emphasizing the responsibility of consumers. However, the phrasing in some sections could lead to slight ambiguity, particularly in the transition between discussing merits and demerits.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the author could use more definitive language when transitioning between the advantages and disadvantages. Clear signposting phrases (e.g., "On the other hand," "Conversely") could help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of advertising. The use of examples, such as the mention of discounts, supports the claims made. However, some ideas, particularly in the discussion of the disadvantages, could be further developed. For instance, the notion of consumer trust could be explored in greater depth.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the author could elaborate on the examples provided. For instance, discussing the long-term effects of consumer mistrust on a brand’s reputation would add depth to the argument. Additionally, incorporating statistical data or studies on advertising effectiveness could further substantiate the claims.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the role of advertising in influencing consumer behavior. There are a few instances where the wording could be tightened to enhance focus, such as the phrase "buy the necessary products," which could be more explicitly connected to the discussion of advertising’s impact.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every sentence directly contributes to the main argument. Avoiding vague phrases and instead using specific language related to the topic of advertising would help keep the discussion relevant and engaging.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a balanced view of advertising, there are opportunities for improvement in providing more depth and clarity in certain areas. By incorporating more detailed examples, refining transitions, and ensuring every point is tightly connected to the topic, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence and engagement.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of advertising, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and each body paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic. For instance, the first body paragraph outlines the positive impacts of advertising, such as attracting consumer attention and increasing sales, while the second body paragraph addresses the drawbacks, including misleading information and quality issues. This logical organization aids the reader in following the argument.
- How to improve: While the organization is generally strong, enhancing the clarity of transitions between ideas could further improve coherence. For example, using more explicit linking phrases at the beginning of each paragraph (e.g., "On the other hand," or "Conversely,") could help signal shifts in perspective more clearly. Additionally, ensuring that each point is fully developed before moving on to the next would strengthen the overall logical flow.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, making it easy for the reader to identify the main points. The introduction and conclusion are also clearly defined, framing the discussion well.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraph effectiveness, consider ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For instance, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "One of the primary benefits of advertising is its ability to attract consumer attention." This would provide a clear focus for the paragraph and guide the reader through the argument.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "however," "for example," and "consequently," which help connect ideas and maintain the flow of the argument. These devices effectively guide the reader through the discussion of both merits and demerits of advertising.
- How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating additional linking words and phrases that indicate relationships between ideas, such as "furthermore," "in addition," or "on the contrary." This would not only enhance the richness of the text but also improve the overall coherence. Additionally, be mindful of repetition; for example, the phrase "advertisements" appears frequently. Using synonyms or rephrasing can help maintain reader engagement and avoid redundancy.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, achieving a band score of 8. By focusing on enhancing transitions, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the clarity and effectiveness of their argument.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "advertisements," "promote," "lucrative deals," and "mislead." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation in word choice. For example, the phrase "advertisements are significantly impact" is awkward and lacks the necessary verb form, which detracts from the overall lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "advertisements," alternatives like "promotional campaigns" or "marketing strategies" could be employed. Additionally, restructuring sentences to avoid redundancy would improve the overall lexical richness.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "does not consist of the quality of advertised product" is unclear and could be better expressed as "does not meet the quality expectations of the advertised product." Additionally, "this way or the other" is an informal expression that does not fit the academic tone of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing phrases and ensuring they align with standard academic expressions. Utilizing a thesaurus can help find more suitable terms, but it is crucial to ensure that the chosen words fit the context appropriately.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "about about" (which seems to be a typographical error) and "advertisements also has disadvantages" (where "has" should be "have"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, ideally reading it aloud to catch mistakes. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing spelling commonly used academic vocabulary can also be beneficial. Additionally, maintaining a list of frequently misspelled words and reviewing them regularly can help improve overall spelling proficiency.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary relevant to the topic, improvements in variety, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the writer effectively uses complex sentences such as, "This advertising method persuades consumers to purchase unnecessary stuff which they do not even require." However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and structures, such as starting multiple sentences with "advertisements." This limits the overall variety and can make the writing feel monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer should aim to vary sentence openings and incorporate more complex structures. For example, instead of repeatedly starting with "advertisements," they could use phrases like "These marketing strategies" or "Such promotional efforts." Additionally, integrating more subordinate clauses and varying the length of sentences can add complexity and interest to the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, the phrase "there are numerous companies and corporate organizations utilize advertisements" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "there are numerous companies and corporate organizations that utilize advertisements." Additionally, the phrase "in a result, highly establish their brand identity" is awkward and should be revised for clarity. The use of punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are instances where commas could enhance readability, such as before "which" in complex sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of conjunctions. Practicing sentence restructuring and reviewing grammar rules related to relative clauses can help. For punctuation, the writer should consider using commas to separate clauses and enhance the flow of sentences. Regular proofreading and reading aloud can also help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, addressing the noted areas for improvement will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
In today’s era, numerous companies and corporate organizations utilize advertisements to promote their products and make their businesses more productive and profitable. This advertising method persuades consumers to purchase unnecessary items which they do not even require. This essay will discuss both the merits and demerits of this circumstance.
From a positive perspective, advertising plays a vital role in attracting consumers’ attention through different marketing mediums, which provide people with information about the existence and nature of the product to create its market. Advertisements are highly advantageous to every business, from small shops to large companies; as a result, they successfully establish their brand identity and reputation. Furthermore, advertisements significantly impact the increase in sales of specific products. For example, a company entices consumers to buy products by offering lucrative deals and discounts. Eventually, consumers end up purchasing them, increasing the company’s turnover and bringing tremendous profits.
However, there are some drawbacks as well. Some advertisements mislead consumers into purchasing their products, which sometimes do not meet the quality advertised. For instance, advertisements allure consumers with discounts but offer cheap quality products. Consequently, consumers feel cheated after using the products and lose faith in that brand. In either case, advertisements misguide the public in a significant manner.
To sum up, despite its advantages, such as facilitating promotional sales and turnover for the company, advertisements also have disadvantages, such as misleading consumers about products or exaggerating their uses. Therefore, as discerning consumers, it’s our responsibility to ensure that we buy only the necessary products.
