international travel has many advantages to both travelers and countries visited . Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages

It is widely acknowledged that international tourist has growth at unprecedented rate in recent years . While there are some possible drawbacks of this development ;however , I believe that its benefits are more glaring.
On the one hand , proponents of potential demerits of international travel have persuasive reasons . Regarding visitors , they are prone to illness from interacting unique places and climates . This can be exemplified via Covid-19 , influx of foreigners individuals travel different nations that lead to widespread of virus and pandemic snowballing out of control of governments . Similarly trying out local cuisines which are unfamiliar , oversea visitors are likely to be food poisoning . Another drawback of this development is environmental damage . Indeed , overexploitation land for constructing hotels and resorts lead to the price of housing in tourism destinations becoming exorbitant also dwellers in these places being suffered from dust and noise from construction . Moreover , with the increase of tourists , the traffic flow might rise that attribute to air pollution in tourism countries .
Conversely , I contend that there are some compelling reasons supporting the enhancement of international tourist . In terms of foreigners , finding out new cultures allows them to broaden their horizons as well as social circle . In fact , having a great exposure to different customs can change foreigners’ mindset ;hence , their interpersonal connections are likely to be fostered . This can be beneficial for them in up coming time when they need to keep in touch with other foreigners or find a job opportunities in other nations . With regard to host country , concentrating on this domain might earn a considerable revenue . This money is extremely essential for nations which aiming to tackle other pressing issues such as poverty and illiteracy . Furthermore , this development also boost international trade among different countries ; thus , more and more international conglomerates are capable of investing money in host countries , generating a wide rage of job opportunities.
In conclusion , in spite of the existence of some demerits from international travel , I am convinced that its merits from this development are more significant . Governments and authorities must consider to hinder its drawback but also ultilise its advantages .

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"international tourist has growth at unprecedented rate" -> "international tourism has experienced an unprecedented rate of growth"
Explanation: The phrase "has growth at unprecedented rate" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The corrected version clarifies the subject and verb agreement, enhancing readability and formality.
"its benefits are more glaring" -> "its benefits are more evident"
Explanation: "Glaring" typically implies something that is obvious due to its brightness or intensity, which is not the intended meaning here. "Evident" is more appropriate for describing the clearness of benefits.
"proponents of potential demerits" -> "advocates of potential drawbacks"
Explanation: "Proponents" is less commonly used in this context, whereas "advocates" is more precise and academically suitable for discussing supporters of an idea.
"influx of foreigners individuals travel different nations" -> "influx of foreign individuals traveling different nations"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect. The corrected version corrects the verb tense and subject-verb agreement.
"widespread of virus" -> "widespread of the virus"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "virus" corrects the article usage, making the phrase grammatically correct.
"out of control of governments" -> "beyond the control of governments"
Explanation: "Out of control of" is less formal and slightly awkward. "Beyond the control of" is more precise and formal.
"trying out local cuisines which are unfamiliar" -> "trying local cuisines that are unfamiliar"
Explanation: "Trying out" is informal and slightly redundant. "Trying" alone is sufficient and more formal.
"oversea visitors" -> "overseas visitors"
Explanation: "Oversea" is an archaic term; "overseas" is the correct and more commonly used term.
"being suffered from" -> "suffering from"
Explanation: "Being suffered from" is grammatically incorrect. "Suffering from" is the correct form.
"the traffic flow might rise" -> "traffic flow may increase"
Explanation: "Might rise" is less formal and slightly vague. "May increase" is more precise and formal.
"attribute to air pollution" -> "contribute to air pollution"
Explanation: "Attribute to" is incorrect in this context. "Contribute to" is the correct phrase for indicating causality.
"finding out new cultures" -> "discovering new cultures"
Explanation: "Finding out" is informal and less precise. "Discovering" is more academically appropriate and formal.
"up coming time" -> "upcoming time"
Explanation: "Up coming" is a typographical error. "Upcoming" is the correct form.
"find a job opportunities" -> "find job opportunities"
Explanation: "Job opportunities" is a compound noun and should not be hyphenated.
"concentrating on this domain might earn a considerable revenue" -> "focusing on this sector could generate significant revenue"
Explanation: "Concentrating" is less formal and "earn" is less precise than "generate" in this context. "Sector" is more specific than "domain."
"ultilise its advantages" -> "utilize its advantages"
Explanation: "Ultilise" is a typographical error. "Utilize" is the correct spelling.

These changes enhance the formality, clarity, and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay successfully addresses all parts of the question by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of international travel. It provides examples and arguments for both sides, demonstrating a clear understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To further enhance the response, ensure that the examples provided are more specific and detailed to strengthen the argumentation.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, stating that the benefits of international travel outweigh the drawbacks. The stance is consistently supported with arguments and examples.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, consider explicitly stating the position in the introduction and conclusion to reinforce the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, elaborating on the advantages and disadvantages of international travel. Examples are provided to support the arguments, enhancing the depth of discussion.
- How to improve: To further develop ideas, consider providing more nuanced analysis and exploring the implications of the arguments in greater detail.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of international travel. However, there are some instances where the focus shifts slightly away from the main theme.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the topic and avoid tangential discussions that may detract from the central argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively presents arguments for the benefits of international travel. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples, reinforcing the clarity of the position, and maintaining a consistent focus on the main topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt at organizing information logically by presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of international travel. However, there are areas where the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between discussing the drawbacks and benefits of international travel could be smoother to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases to connect ideas more effectively. For example, using phrases like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" can help signal shifts in argumentation and improve the overall coherence of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate different points, which is a good practice. However, some paragraphs could be further developed to provide more detailed explanations and examples to support the arguments.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and provides sufficient evidence and analysis to support that idea. Additionally, consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly introduce the main point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as transition words like "however," "conversely," and "in conclusion." While these devices help to connect ideas, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of cohesive devices used throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "moreover," "on the contrary," etc. This will help create a more cohesive and coherent essay overall. Additionally, pay attention to the consistency of pronoun usage and referencing to maintain coherence within and between paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating various terms and expressions to convey ideas effectively. For instance, phrases like "unprecedented rate," "exemplified via Covid-19," "overexploitation," "considerable revenue," and "international conglomerates" showcase a diverse vocabulary selection.
- How to improve: To further enhance the lexical range, consider incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic of international travel. Introducing specialized terms or idiomatic expressions can elevate the richness of language and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the subject matter.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary effectively, there are instances where the precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "social circle" could be replaced with a more precise term like "social network" for clarity. Additionally, the term "wide rage" should be corrected to "wide range" for accuracy.
- How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, pay attention to the context in which words are used and ensure they align accurately with the intended meaning. Utilize a thesaurus or dictionary to find more precise synonyms that convey the intended message with clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate level of spelling accuracy, with some errors present throughout the text. Examples include "tourist" instead of "tourism," "ultilise" instead of "utilize," and "rage" instead of "range." These spelling inaccuracies slightly detract from the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-check tools or proofreading the essay carefully before submission. Developing a habit of reviewing spelling errors and making corrections can significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing. Additionally, expanding your vocabulary can help in recognizing correct spellings of words commonly used in academic writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, compound sentences, and conditional sentences. For example, "While there are some possible drawbacks of this development; however, I believe that its benefits are more glaring" showcases a complex sentence structure with a contrasting conjunction. The use of phrases like "On the one hand," "Conversely," and "In conclusion" adds coherence to the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more relative clauses, passive voice constructions, and inverted sentences. This can add sophistication to your writing and make it more engaging for the reader.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, there are instances of subject-verb agreement issues, such as "finding out new cultures allows them" should be "finding out new cultures allows them to." Punctuation is used effectively to separate ideas and clarify meaning, although there are occasional missing commas or incorrect placement of commas.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and pronoun-antecedent agreement. Additionally, review the rules for comma usage, especially in compound sentences and before introductory phrases. Proofreading your work carefully can help you catch and correct these errors before submission.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely acknowledged that international tourism has experienced an unprecedented rate of growth in recent years. While are some possible drawbacks to this development, I believe that its benefits are more evident.

On the one hand, advocates of potential drawbacks of international travel have persuasive reasons. Concerning visitors, they are susceptible to illnesses from interacting with unique places and climates. This can be exemplified by the Covid-19 pandemic, where the influx of foreign individuals traveling to different nations led to the widespread of the virus beyond the control of governments. Similarly, when trying local cuisines that are unfamiliar, overseas visitors are at risk of food poisoning. Another drawback of this development is environmental damage. Indeed, overexploiting land for constructing hotels and resorts leads to the housing prices in tourism destinations becoming exorbitant, and residents in these areas suffering from dust and noise from construction. Moreover, with the increase of tourists, traffic flow may increase, contributing to air pollution in tourism countries.

Conversely, I contend that there are compelling reasons supporting the enhancement of international tourism. For foreigners, discovering new cultures allows them to broaden their horizons and social circle. In fact, having exposure to different customs can change foreigners’ mindsets; hence, their interpersonal connections are likely to be fostered. This can be beneficial for them in the upcoming time when they need to keep in touch with other foreigners or find job opportunities in other nations. Regarding the host country, focusing on this sector could generate significant revenue. This money is extremely essential for nations aiming to tackle other pressing issues such as poverty and illiteracy. Furthermore, this development also boosts international trade among different countries; thus, more international conglomerates are capable of investing money in host countries, generating a wide range of job opportunities.

In conclusion, despite the existence of some drawbacks from international travel, I am convinced that the benefits of this development are more significant. Governments and authorities must consider how to mitigate its drawbacks while also utilizing its advantages.