It costs a lot of money for a country to host an international sports event, such as the Olympic Games and Football World Cup. Some people think that this is a waste of money, but others believe the opposite. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Hosting global-scale sports tournaments like the Olympic Games and FIFA World Cup incur multi-million-dollar expenses. While some individuals assume that splurging on these events is extravagant, others suppose that global sport tournaments generate substantial revenue. I hold a belief that the benefits are superior to the drawbacks.
A great number of individuals oppose holding major global sports tournaments in light of squandering and being unnecessary. Requiring a significant financial commitment in the construction of stadiums and the installation of advanced facilities which demand organizational criterias, draining both local and national funds, leading to budget shortages for vital fields such as education, health and transportation investment even the host-country is potentially indebted. Additionally, after the finished tournament, the large-scale stadiums are left abandoned, stemming from lack of practical application, resulting in squandering of land resources and maintenance expenses. Thus, sport event organization is an enormous challenge for developing countries.
On the other hand, I advocate that the benefits of international sporting competitions outweigh the waste of national resources. Global-scale hosting countries reap a myriad of monetary merits due to an influx of tourists from all over the world, which is why boost a nation’s tourism and service industry, showcasing the host country’s culture and heritage widespreadly to world friends. Furthermore, events also seek potential opportunities such as financial, human resources and technology investment from not only domestic but also foreign enterprises, resulting in advanced technology utilization catching up with developed countries, orienting to become a developed country. Staging prestigious international sporting events is a potential opportunity to contribute to country development.
Nevertheless, a majority of countries do not dare to host international sport tournaments because of fear of challenges, leading to not enhancing the host country’s global influence, denying the opportunities to absorb progressive achievements, which is why they poorly develop. Instead, they are able to learn from previous host countries to organize relevant competitions without wasting resources and ensure international integration. A pertinent example of this is that Korea hosted the Pyeongchang which obtained a profit of 55 million USD by dismantling to switch to another business after the Olympics ended. The Korean government boosted the nation’s image and promoted the national economy.
Hosting has both benefits and challenges, hence, national governments should consider both impacts to enhance nation’s prestige and promote economy without squandering national resources.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
"splurging on these events" -> "investing in these events"
Explanation: Replacing "splurging" with "investing" conveys a more neutral and formal tone, highlighting the financial commitment made for the events without implying extravagance.
"suppose" -> "argue"
Explanation: Using "argue" instead of "suppose" adds a more assertive tone to the sentence, making the author’s stance clearer and aligning with academic writing principles.
"I hold a belief that" -> "I contend that"
Explanation: "I contend that" is a more formal and precise way to express one’s viewpoint in academic writing, enhancing the sophistication of the sentence.
"A great number of individuals" -> "Many individuals"
Explanation: "Many individuals" is a more concise and formal expression, avoiding unnecessary verbosity and maintaining a professional tone.
"being unnecessary" -> "as unnecessary"
Explanation: Adding "as" before "unnecessary" improves the grammatical structure of the sentence, making it more precise and aligning with academic language norms.
"organizational criterias" -> "organizational criteria"
Explanation: "Criteria" is the correct plural form of the word, and using the singular form enhances grammatical accuracy and formal tone.
"draining both local and national funds" -> "depleting both local and national funds"
Explanation: "Depleting" is a more formal and precise term, emphasizing the reduction of funds in a formal context.
"stemming from lack of practical application" -> "resulting from a lack of practical use"
Explanation: "Resulting from a lack of practical use" is a more formal and clear expression, avoiding ambiguity and enhancing the academic tone.
"squandering of land resources" -> "misuse of land resources"
Explanation: "Misuse" is a more formal and accurate term, conveying the idea of using land resources inappropriately without the informal connotations of "squandering."
"boost a nation’s tourism" -> "boost a nation’s tourism industry"
Explanation: Adding "industry" clarifies the context and provides a more specific and formal description of the impact on the nation’s tourism.
"showcasing the host country’s culture and heritage widespreadly" -> "widely showcasing the host country’s culture and heritage"
Explanation: Reordering the words improves the sentence’s structure and maintains a formal tone, making it more suitable for academic writing.
"leading to not enhancing" -> "resulting in a failure to enhance"
Explanation: Using "resulting in a failure to enhance" provides a clearer and more formal connection between the challenges mentioned and the failure to enhance the host country’s global influence.
"which is why they poorly develop" -> "resulting in limited development"
Explanation: "Resulting in limited development" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea that countries may not develop well due to their reluctance to host international sports tournaments.
"ensure international integration" -> "promote international integration"
Explanation: "Promote" is a more active and suitable term for academic writing, conveying the idea that hosting international sporting events can actively contribute to international integration.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
Answer All Parts of the Question: Characteristic of Band 8
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively covers both perspectives regarding hosting global sports events. It acknowledges the arguments against such events, discussing the financial strain, potential budget shortages, and the post-event issues of abandoned stadiums. Conversely, it also delves into the benefits, highlighting tourism, cultural promotion, and economic opportunities for host countries.
- How to improve: To enhance, ensure a more comprehensive exploration of the drawbacks beyond financial concerns, such as social impacts or public opinion. Additionally, explicitly tying these discussions back to the prompt’s parameters would further bolster the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout: Characteristic of Band 9
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance, supporting the belief that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks of hosting international sporting events. This position is consistently elaborated upon, providing examples and arguments in favor of this viewpoint.
- How to improve: While the clarity is strong, further reinforcement of the position by refuting potential counterarguments or acknowledging limitations would strengthen the argument’s solidity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas: Characteristic of Band 9
- Detailed explanation: The ideas are well-developed, supported with examples (e.g., financial benefits, Korea’s case), and extended to discuss the long-term impacts of hosting such events. The essay effectively illustrates the benefits and challenges, offering a balanced view.
- How to improve: Consider diversifying examples or incorporating additional specific instances to enrich the discussion, allowing for a deeper exploration of the ideas presented.
Stay on Topic: Characteristic of Band 8
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the given prompt, addressing the pros and cons of hosting global sports events. There are minor instances where some tangential discussions might slightly divert the focus, but they are not substantial enough to detract significantly from the central theme.
- How to improve: To refine, ensure every point made directly relates back to the main discussion of the costs and benefits of hosting international sports events, minimizing any tangential discussions.
In summary, the essay presents a well-structured argument that comprehensively addresses the prompt’s requirements. To enhance, consider expanding on drawbacks beyond financial aspects, reinforcing the position, diversifying examples, and maintaining a tighter focus on the main topic throughout the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
Organize Information Logically: Characteristic of Band 6
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a mostly coherent arrangement of ideas with a clear overall structure. The introduction introduces the topic and the writer’s opinion, followed by distinct body paragraphs discussing both views. The conclusion provides a summary and restates the writer’s opinion. However, there are instances where the logical flow is disrupted. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother, as the shift from drawbacks to benefits is abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs. Consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader through the shift in focus. For instance, you could use phrases like "On the flip side" or "Contrastingly" to signal the change in perspective.
Use Paragraphs: Characteristic of Band 7
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs generally effective paragraphing, with mostly logical idea sequencing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument and contributes to the overall coherence. However, there are areas where the ideas within paragraphs could be more logically sequenced. For instance, the third paragraph discusses the benefits of hosting international events but could be more effectively structured for clarity.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas within each paragraph. Begin paragraphs with a topic sentence that outlines the main point, followed by supporting details. In the third paragraph, consider starting with a topic sentence that succinctly introduces the benefits of hosting international events.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices: Characteristic of Band 8
- Detailed explanation: The essay skillfully employs cohesive devices, contributing to overall coherence. There is effective use of linking words and phrases, such as "while," "additionally," and "furthermore," which guide the reader through the essay. However, there are occasional lapses in cohesion, such as the transition between the second and third paragraphs, where the shift in focus could be smoother.
- How to improve: Maintain the skillful use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Ensure that transitions between ideas and paragraphs are seamless. Consider using a variety of cohesive devices to add sophistication to the essay. For instance, in the transition between the second and third paragraphs, you could use a phrase like "In contrast" to signal the change in perspective.
In summary, while the essay exhibits a solid foundation in coherence and cohesion, there is room for improvement in terms of logical organization, paragraph structure, and the consistent use of cohesive devices. Addressing these areas will contribute to a more polished and refined piece of writing.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary: Characteristic of Band 8
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of vocabulary, showcasing fluency and flexibility in expression. Phrases like "incur multi-million-dollar expenses," "generate substantial revenue," and "budget shortages" exhibit a broad and varied vocabulary.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more specialized terms or idiomatic expressions related to economic aspects and the impact of global events. For instance, using terms like "economic stimulus" or "infrastructural investments" can add depth to the analysis.
Use Vocabulary Precisely: Characteristic of Band 6
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys clear meaning, there are instances where the precision of vocabulary could be improved. For example, the phrase "organizational criterias" might benefit from a more precise term, such as "organizational criteria." Additionally, the use of "squandering" could be replaced with a more specific term to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: Focus on choosing more precise words that align closely with the intended meaning. Instead of using general terms like "squandering," consider specific terms like "misallocation" or "misappropriation" to convey a more exact message.
Use Correct Spelling: Characteristic of Band 7
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits few spelling errors that do not significantly detract from overall clarity. However, there are some minor issues, such as "orienting" which might be intended as "oriented."
- How to improve: Proofread carefully to catch minor spelling errors and consider utilizing tools like spell checkers. Pay attention to word forms and ensure they align with the intended meaning, as in the case of "orienting" versus "oriented."
In summary, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with room for improvement in precision. Attention to detail in choosing more exact terms and careful proofreading for minor spelling issues can contribute to an even stronger lexical resource score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
Use a Wide Range of Structures: Characteristic of Band 7
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of varied sentence structures, contributing to a sense of fluency and sophistication. Complex structures are employed with some flexibility and accuracy. For instance, the essay incorporates a mix of compound and complex sentences, enhancing the overall quality of expression. The use of transitional phrases is notable, aiding in the logical flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To further elevate the diversity of sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying sentence lengths. Experiment with different syntactic structures to enhance the richness of expression.
Use Grammar Accurately: Characteristic of Band 8
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with occasional, minor errors. The errors observed do not significantly impede comprehension, and the majority of sentences are constructed with precision. Examples of minor errors include slight inconsistencies in verb tense and the occasional use of awkward phrasing.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay careful attention to verb tense consistency throughout the essay. Additionally, consider revising sentences with awkward phrasing to ensure clarity. Proofreading with a focus on tense consistency and sentence structure can further elevate the overall grammatical precision.
Use Correct Punctuation: Characteristic of Band 7
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally well-controlled punctuation. Commas, periods, and other punctuation marks are used appropriately to guide the reader and structure the text. However, there are occasional instances where punctuation could be refined for greater clarity.
- How to improve: Focus on refining the use of complex punctuation, such as semicolons and colons, to add variety to sentence structures. Additionally, ensure consistent application of punctuation rules, especially in instances where complex ideas are presented. Thorough proofreading can help address minor inconsistencies in punctuation usage.
Overall, the essay exhibits a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, with room for refinement in terms of sentence structure diversity and meticulous attention to punctuation details. By incorporating these suggestions, the essay can further elevate its linguistic sophistication and precision.
Bài sửa mẫu
Hosting major international sports events like the Olympic Games and the FIFA World Cup involves considerable expenses, reaching into the millions. While some argue that investing in these events is unnecessary extravagance, others contend that they bring in substantial revenue. I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Many individuals oppose these events, viewing them as unnecessary and wasteful. Constructing stadiums and installing advanced facilities demand specific organizational criteria, depleting both local and national funds. This leads to budget shortages in vital areas like education, health, and transportation. Moreover, after the tournaments end, the large-scale stadiums often sit unused, resulting in the misuse of land resources and maintenance expenses. This poses a significant challenge for developing countries.
However, I argue that the benefits derived from international sporting competitions outweigh the squandering of national resources. Countries hosting these events experience a surge in tourism, showcasing their culture and heritage to a global audience. Additionally, these events attract investments in technology and human resources, driving technological advancements and paving the way for development. They are potential opportunities for countrywide progress.
Nonetheless, many countries shy away from hosting such tournaments due to the challenges involved, resulting in limited development and a failure to enhance their global influence. Yet, learning from past hosts like Korea, who profited from the Pyeongchang Olympics and transitioned venues for alternative use afterward, nations can boost their image and economy without squandering resources. By considering both the benefits and challenges, governments can enhance their nation’s prestige and economy while avoiding unnecessary waste of resources.