It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other countries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience

Many people say that in nowadays , traveling overseas is much easier and cheaper than ever before . So in this essay, I will tell my point of view on this topic and why the positive is outweighed the negative when travel abroad is more accessible .

Some argue that when overseas travel cost is more reasonable and less stricter, it would cause some drawnbacks. For instance, in our globaliztion world where a country is more open to receive numerous visitors around the world, it would cause the problem of overseas crimes . Many criminals in Vietnam after involve in a serious crime case, will try to go abroad to avoid punishment from Vietnamese officers. Making these officers harder to catch these offenders since the progress of finding overseas criminals is time-consuming and requires cooperation from the country that hostage these criminals.

However, I believe that when everyone can travel abroad easier with reasonable prices, it will help to boost a country’s tourism sector. For example, in the past, Vietnam did not open to foreign visitor so the tourism infrastructures in Vietnam were relatively poor and hardly anyone could have revenue from tourists. Conversely, in rencent years, traveling to Vietnam is more affordable with cheaper plane tickets, and easier visa requirements for foreign travels have contributed a lot to our country’s development. More and more tourism infrastructure like hotels or resorts are being built daily which create hundreds of new jobs for Vietnamese and create a source of income for the locals especially for those in the service sector. When traveling abroad is more accessible not only the foreign visitors will be benefited but also countries that receive overseas tourisms. When more and more overseas travelers flock to a country, they would create a huge amount of revenue to that country’s economy and help the government of that nation has more money to invest to modernize their country.
In conclusion, although when travel abroad is easier and more reasonable to individuals would cause to the rise of overseas crimes, it is still profitable for a country that receive many foreign visitor. Foreign visitor can help to boost a country tourism and bring lots of money to the locals and the government of that country.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"in nowadays" -> "in recent times"
Explanation: "In nowadays" is grammatically incorrect. "In recent times" is a more formal and correct phrase that fits the academic style better.
"traveling overseas is much easier and cheaper than ever before" -> "traveling overseas has become significantly easier and more affordable than ever before"
Explanation: The original phrase is somewhat informal and lacks precision. The revised version uses more formal vocabulary ("significantly" and "more affordable") and corrects the tense to "has become," which is more appropriate for describing ongoing changes.
"I will tell my point of view" -> "I will present my perspective"
Explanation: "Tell my point of view" is informal and slightly awkward. "Present my perspective" is more formal and academically appropriate.
"the positive is outweighed the negative" -> "the benefits outweigh the drawbacks"
Explanation: "The positive is outweighed the negative" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "The benefits outweigh the drawbacks" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"less stricter" -> "less stringent"
Explanation: "Less stricter" is grammatically incorrect. "Less stringent" is the correct comparative form of "stringent," which is more precise and formal.
"it would cause some drawnbacks" -> "it may result in some drawbacks"
Explanation: "Drawnbacks" is not a word; the correct term is "drawbacks." Also, "would cause" is less formal than "may result in," which is more suitable for academic writing.
"in our globaliztion world" -> "in our globalized world"
Explanation: "Globaliztion" is a misspelling. "Globalized" is the correct form, indicating the process of globalization.
"a country is more open to receive numerous visitors" -> "countries are more open to receiving numerous visitors"
Explanation: "A country is" should be "countries are" to match the plural subject. Also, "receive" should be "receiving" to maintain the gerund form.
"Making these officers harder to catch" -> "This makes it more challenging for these officers to apprehend"
Explanation: "Making these officers harder to catch" is informal and lacks precision. The revised phrase is more formal and specific.
"the progress of finding overseas criminals" -> "the process of locating overseas criminals"
Explanation: "Progress" is not the correct term here; "process" is more appropriate for describing ongoing activities. "Locating" is also more precise than "finding."
"the country that hostage these criminals" -> "the country that harbors these criminals"
Explanation: "Hostage" is incorrect in this context; "harbors" is the correct term for providing shelter or protection to criminals.
"in rencent years" -> "in recent years"
Explanation: "Rencent" is a typographical error; "recent" is the correct spelling.
"traveling to Vietnam is more affordable" -> "traveling to Vietnam has become more affordable"
Explanation: "Is" should be "has become" to reflect the ongoing change in affordability.
"help the government of that nation has more money" -> "enable the government of that nation to have more funds"
Explanation: "Help the government of that nation has more money" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. The revised phrase is clearer and more formal.
"Foreign visitor can help" -> "Foreign visitors can help"
Explanation: "Visitor" should be plural to match the context of multiple visitors.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument regarding the ease and affordability of international travel. It acknowledges the potential negative impact of increased crime but predominantly focuses on the positive economic effects of tourism.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should provide a more balanced discussion by elaborating further on the negative aspects of easier international travel, such as cultural impacts or environmental concerns.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance that easier and more affordable international travel is predominantly positive due to economic benefits, despite mentioning crime as a drawback.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the essay should explicitly state the position earlier in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion, ensuring consistency in supporting arguments throughout the body paragraphs.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented with examples such as the impact on Vietnam’s tourism industry. However, some points lack depth, such as the discussion on crime, which needs more elaboration and evidence.
- How to improve: Extend each idea by providing specific examples and statistics to strengthen arguments. For instance, detailing how tourism has specifically benefited the economy and local communities in Vietnam would bolster the argument’s credibility.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the positive and negative aspects of easier international travel. However, it could stray into more specific examples or stray slightly from the main focus on tourism.
- How to improve: Focus on maintaining a direct link to the prompt throughout the essay. Avoid generalizations and ensure every point relates directly to the impact of easier international travel, as specified in the prompt.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the positive aspects of easier international travel and presents relevant examples, it would benefit from a more balanced approach by expanding on the negative consequences and ensuring a clearer and consistent stance throughout. Strengthening the depth of analysis and maintaining a tight focus on the prompt would elevate the response to a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing positive and negative aspects, and a conclusion summarizing the author’s opinion. Each paragraph focuses on a single aspect (positive or negative), but transitions between these ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing drawbacks to benefits of easier travel could be more gradual.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer transitions between ideas. Start each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence that previews the main idea of that paragraph. This approach will help readers follow the progression of your argument more easily.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs adequately to separate different points. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs could be more focused and developed. For example, the second paragraph begins discussing drawbacks of easier travel but transitions abruptly to an example without fully exploring the initial point.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and develops it fully before moving on to the next point. This will improve clarity and coherence within paragraphs and across the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices such as transition words ("however," "for example," "in conclusion") and pronouns ("it," "these"). While these help in connecting ideas, there is room for improvement in the variety and precision of cohesive devices used. More sophisticated devices like linking adverbs (consequently, therefore) or cohesive phrases (on the other hand, in contrast) could strengthen coherence.
- How to improve: Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Practice using these devices in a nuanced manner to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion suitable for a band score of 6. Improving the clarity and structure of transitions, refining paragraph organization, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to enhancing the coherence and cohesion of your essays in future tasks.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There are instances of varied word choices such as "reasonable," "stricter," "globalization," and "tourism sector." However, there is a tendency to repeat some words or phrases (e.g., "overseas travel," "more affordable," "foreign visitors"). The examples provided to support arguments lack some diversity in descriptive terms.
- How to improve: To enhance your score, aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "more affordable," consider alternatives like "cost-effective," "budget-friendly," or "economical." Additionally, diversify descriptive language when discussing benefits or drawbacks of travel, such as using terms like "positive implications," "negative consequences," or "adverse effects."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary adequately, but some expressions lack precision. For instance, "open to foreign visitors" could be more precise with terms like "welcoming," "accessible," or "accommodating." There are also instances where vocabulary use could be clearer, such as "reasonable prices" which might benefit from terms like "affordable rates" or "competitive pricing."
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that precisely conveys your intended meaning. Be mindful of the context in which words are used; for example, ensure that terms like "reasonable" or "affordable" are clearly defined within the essay. Aim for clarity and avoid vague or ambiguous expressions to strengthen your vocabulary precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a fair level of spelling accuracy with occasional errors (e.g., "rencent," "drawnbacks"). While most words are spelled correctly, there are noticeable lapses that detract slightly from overall clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading more diligently or using spell-check tools to catch errors before finalizing your essay. Review commonly misspelled words and practice spelling them correctly. Developing a habit of revising your writing with a focus on spelling can significantly enhance the quality of your work.

Overall, while your essay demonstrates a solid grasp of vocabulary and spelling, refining these aspects will further elevate your writing and potentially improve your Band Score for Lexical Resource in future assessments. Focus on incorporating a wider range of vocabulary, using words more precisely, and ensuring consistent spelling accuracy throughout your writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt to vary sentence structures. There is an adequate mix of simple and complex sentences. For instance, it employs both straightforward declarative sentences and more complex compound sentences with subordinate clauses (e.g., "Making these officers harder to catch these offenders since the progress of finding overseas criminals is time-consuming…"). However, the complexity tends to be limited, and some sentence structures could be more sophisticated to enhance clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance variety, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences, passive voice constructions, or inverted sentences. This can improve the flow and precision of ideas. Additionally, pay attention to sentence length variation to avoid monotony and improve readability.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a mix of grammatical accuracy. While there are instances of correct usage (e.g., "traveling overseas is much easier and cheaper than ever before"), there are notable errors in subject-verb agreement ("Many criminals in Vietnam after involve in a serious crime case…") and article usage ("…the problem of overseas crimes"). Punctuation is generally correct but could benefit from more consistent use of commas and correct placement of periods within quotation marks.
- How to improve: Focus on improving subject-verb agreement and the proper use of articles. Reviewing basic grammar rules related to singular/plural forms and article choices (definite vs. indefinite) would be beneficial. Additionally, practice using commas effectively to separate clauses and ensure consistency in punctuation within quotations.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a reasonably good command of sentence structures and grammar, there is room for improvement in both areas to achieve a higher band score. Strengthening sentence structure variety and enhancing grammatical accuracy will lead to clearer, more cohesive writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent times, traveling overseas has become significantly easier and more affordable than ever before. I will present my perspective on whether this trend is positive or negative, focusing on how the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Some argue that when overseas travel is more affordable and less stringent, it may result in some drawbacks. In our globalized world, where countries are more open to receiving numerous visitors, this can make it more challenging for law enforcement officers to apprehend overseas criminals. The process of locating criminals who flee to other countries is complex and time-consuming, requiring cooperation from the host country.

However, I believe that when everyone can travel abroad more easily and affordably, it will help to boost a country’s tourism sector. For example, in recent years, traveling to Vietnam has become more affordable with cheaper plane tickets and easier visa requirements for foreign travelers. This has enabled the government of that nation to have more funds to invest in modernizing their country.

In conclusion, although easier and more affordable overseas travel may lead to an increase in overseas crimes, the benefits to countries that receive foreign visitors are substantial. Foreign visitors can help boost a country’s tourism industry, creating new job opportunities and generating income for locals, especially in the service sector. Overall, the positive impact on a country’s economy and development outweighs the potential drawbacks of increased overseas travel accessibility.