It Is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

It is true that taking a gap year between accomplishing school and going to college is becoming more and more prevalent. While having a year off has many benefits, there are also some drawbacks which are worth considering.
On the one hand, this trend can be highly beneficial for some reasons. One prominent advantage is that students can have a good preparation before enrolling to university. For example, during the time, they can have several part-time jobs in order to earn some money which is a tuition for them in college or even scholars also can attend to various courses in centers so as to get more knowledge that helps them to have high grades when learning in university. In addition to this, students even have opportunities to discover their passions. To specific this, when having a break year, they will have more time to find out what career is suitable for them, and thus they can have a best choice to decide which department they will learn in college. As a result, students can feel comfortable and interested in their study.
On the other hand, it is also true that taking a year off can have several drawbacks. Firstly, it can decrease students’ interest in study. This is because they can spend this time to go out and play with friends such as going shopping or watching films. Therefore, they will feel bored to start to go to university and still want to continue enjoying this period. Moreover, scholars can easily lose their study routine. As being familiar with their relaxing lifestyle in the gap year, it could be a difficult thing for individuals to return with curriculums in college.
In conclusion, although allowing students to have a gap year before learning in college may have several benefits, it seems evident that this also brings numerous drawbacks.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"taking a gap year between accomplishing school and going to college" -> "taking a gap year between completing school and entering college"
Explanation: "Accomplishing school" is an awkward and incorrect phrase. "Completing school" is the correct term, and "entering college" is more formal than "going to college."
"is becoming more and more prevalent" -> "is increasingly prevalent"
Explanation: "More and more" is redundant and informal in academic writing. "Increasingly" is a more concise and formal alternative.
"highly beneficial" -> "substantially beneficial"
Explanation: "Highly" is somewhat vague and informal; "substantially" provides a clearer, more academic tone.
"have a good preparation" -> "prepare well"
Explanation: "Have a good preparation" is awkward and verbose. "Prepare well" is more direct and formal.
"have several part-time jobs in order to earn some money which is a tuition for them in college" -> "secure part-time employment to fund their college tuition"
Explanation: The original phrase is convoluted and unclear. The suggested revision clarifies the purpose of the jobs and uses more formal language.
"even scholars also can attend to various courses" -> "scholars can also attend various courses"
Explanation: Removing "even" improves the flow and formality of the sentence.
"get more knowledge that helps them to have high grades" -> "acquire knowledge that enhances their academic performance"
Explanation: "Get more knowledge" is informal and vague. "Acquire knowledge that enhances their academic performance" is more precise and formal.
"To specific this" -> "To illustrate this"
Explanation: "To specific this" is incorrect. "To illustrate this" is the correct phrase for providing examples.
"have a best choice" -> "make the best choice"
Explanation: "Have a best choice" is grammatically incorrect. "Make the best choice" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"feel comfortable and interested in their study" -> "feel motivated and engaged in their studies"
Explanation: "Feel comfortable and interested in their study" is somewhat informal and vague. "Feel motivated and engaged in their studies" is more precise and formal.
"it can decrease students’ interest in study" -> "it may diminish students’ interest in studying"
Explanation: "Decrease" is less formal than "diminish," and "study" should be "studying" for grammatical correctness.
"going out and play with friends" -> "spending time with friends"
Explanation: "Going out and play" is informal and imprecise. "Spending time with friends" is more formal and clear.
"going shopping or watching films" -> "engaging in leisure activities such as shopping or watching films"
Explanation: "Going shopping or watching films" is too casual. "Engaging in leisure activities such as shopping or watching films" is more formal and specific.
"feel bored to start to go to university" -> "feel reluctant to begin university"
Explanation: "Feel bored to start to go to university" is awkward and informal. "Feel reluctant to begin university" is more concise and formal.
"curriculums in college" -> "curricula in college"
Explanation: "Curriculums" is a plural noun that should be "curricula" in this context, referring to the singular academic programs.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, which is essential for responding to the prompt. The advantages are discussed in the first half, focusing on preparation for university and self-discovery, while the disadvantages are covered in the latter half, highlighting loss of interest in studies and disruption of study routines. However, the discussion of advantages could be more balanced with the disadvantages, as the advantages appear more developed.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that both sides of the argument are equally explored. This could involve providing more examples or elaborating on the disadvantages to match the depth of the advantages. Additionally, integrating a more explicit comparison between the pros and cons could strengthen the analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument. However, the conclusion could be more assertive in summarizing the writer’s stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa. The phrase "it seems evident that this also brings numerous drawbacks" suggests a leaning towards the negatives but lacks a definitive conclusion.
- How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the conclusion. For instance, they could say whether they believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks or if the drawbacks are more significant. This would provide a stronger, more cohesive argument throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits and drawbacks of taking a gap year. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while the essay mentions part-time jobs and discovering passions, it does not provide specific examples or data to substantiate these claims. Similarly, the drawbacks are mentioned but not deeply analyzed.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should include specific examples, anecdotes, or statistics that illustrate the points made. For instance, discussing a specific type of job that students might take or a common challenge they face when returning to studies could provide more depth. Additionally, elaborating on how these experiences impact students’ readiness for university would strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year. However, some sentences could be clearer in their relevance to the topic. For example, the mention of students going out and playing with friends could be more explicitly tied to the idea of losing interest in studies.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the advantages or disadvantages of a gap year. This could involve rephrasing or expanding on points to clarify their connection to the central theme. Additionally, using topic sentences that clearly outline the main idea of each paragraph can help guide the reader and maintain relevance throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with distinct sections addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year. The introduction effectively sets the context, and each body paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits, such as preparation for university and discovering passions, while the second body paragraph addresses the drawbacks, including loss of interest in studies and disruption of study routines. However, the transition between points could be smoother, as some ideas feel slightly disjointed.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transition phrases between ideas and paragraphs. For example, when transitioning from discussing benefits to drawbacks, phrases like "Conversely" or "On the flip side" can help signal the shift in focus. Additionally, ensuring that each point directly relates back to the main thesis will strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for readability. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and the use of topic sentences helps guide the reader. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer sub-points, as the ideas presented are somewhat generalized and could be elaborated upon for greater clarity.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, consider breaking down complex ideas into smaller, more focused sub-points. For example, in the second body paragraph, you could separate the discussion of losing interest and losing study routines into two distinct paragraphs. This would allow for a more thorough exploration of each drawback, making the argument more compelling.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively indicate contrasting viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "As being familiar with their relaxing lifestyle in the gap year" is awkward and could be better connected to the preceding sentence.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "Consequently," and "Nevertheless." Additionally, ensure that all cohesive devices are used correctly and naturally within the context of the sentence. For instance, revising awkward phrases for clarity will enhance the overall fluidity of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a clear argument, there are areas for improvement in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. By focusing on these aspects, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with phrases like "gap year," "part-time jobs," and "discover their passions." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or lacks variety. For example, the term "students" is used frequently without synonyms or variations, which could enhance the lexical richness of the essay. Additionally, phrases like "good preparation" and "high grades" could be expressed with more sophisticated vocabulary.
- How to improve: To improve the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "students," you could use "learners," "pupils," or "young adults." Additionally, explore more advanced vocabulary for common phrases, such as "adequate preparation" instead of "good preparation," or "achieve academic excellence" instead of "high grades."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary choices that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "tuition for them in college" is misleading; "tuition" refers to the fee paid for education, not something one earns. Similarly, "scholars also can attend to various courses" should be revised to "scholars can also attend various courses," as "attend to" implies a different meaning. The phrase "best choice to decide" is also awkward; "best choice" and "decide" are redundant together.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, ensure that vocabulary accurately conveys the intended meaning. Review phrases for clarity and correctness. For example, replace "tuition for them in college" with "fund their college tuition" and revise "attend to various courses" to "attend various courses." Additionally, consider rephrasing "best choice to decide" to "make the best decision."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally good level of spelling accuracy, but there are a few errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, "accomplishing school" should be "finishing school," and "specific this" is incorrect; it should be "to specify this." Additionally, "a best choice" should be "the best choice," and "curriculums" should be "curricula," which is the correct plural form of "curriculum."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully. Consider using spelling and grammar check tools or apps that can help identify errors. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling rules and practice writing frequently to reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents valid arguments, enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "One prominent advantage is that students can have a good preparation before enrolling to university" reflects an attempt to incorporate complex ideas. However, the essay tends to rely on a few common structures, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive. For example, the phrase "it is true that" is used at the beginning of multiple sentences, which could be varied to enhance the overall flow and engagement of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting sentences with "It is true that," the writer could use alternatives like "Many argue that" or "Research suggests that." Additionally, using more conditional sentences (e.g., "If students take a gap year, they may…") or participial phrases (e.g., "Having taken a gap year, students often…") could enhance the complexity and variety of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors that detract from its clarity. For example, the phrase "a good preparation before enrolling to university" should be corrected to "good preparation before enrolling in university." Additionally, the sentence "scholars also can attend to various courses in centers" is awkwardly phrased; it would be clearer as "scholars can also attend various courses at centers." There are also issues with punctuation, such as missing commas that could improve readability, particularly in longer sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on common prepositional phrases and ensure subject-verb agreement. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on prepositions and sentence structure, would be beneficial. For punctuation, the writer should review rules regarding the use of commas, especially in compound and complex sentences. Reading the essay aloud can help identify areas where pauses are needed, indicating where commas should be placed.

By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their essay, potentially raising their band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is true that taking a gap year between completing school and going to college is becoming increasingly prevalent. While having a year off has many benefits, there are also some drawbacks that are worth considering.

On the one hand, this trend can be highly beneficial for several reasons. One prominent advantage is that students can prepare well before enrolling in university. For example, during this time, they can secure part-time employment to fund their college tuition. Additionally, scholars can also attend various courses in centers to acquire knowledge that enhances their academic performance when studying at university. In addition to this, students have opportunities to discover their passions. To illustrate this, when taking a gap year, they will have more time to find out what career is suitable for them, and thus they can make the best choice regarding which department they will study in college. As a result, students can feel motivated and engaged in their studies.

On the other hand, it is also true that taking a year off can have several drawbacks. Firstly, it can diminish students’ interest in studying. This is because they may spend this time going out and having fun with friends, such as engaging in leisure activities like shopping or watching films. Therefore, they may feel reluctant to begin university and still want to continue enjoying this period. Moreover, scholars can easily lose their study routine. As they become accustomed to their relaxing lifestyle during the gap year, it could be difficult for individuals to return to the curricula in college.

In conclusion, although allowing students to have a gap year before studying in college may have several benefits, it seems evident that this also brings numerous drawbacks.