it is important for everyone, including young people to save money in future.

Saving money play a essential both young people and elderly in the day and age. This considered as extremely necessary to serve in a daily basis. In spite of this, I partly agree this statement for some reasons.

On the one hand, most of something in life seems relevant to money which make them a living, even so climbing to the career ladder in many different positions. Besides, there are the large number of the problem that gradually appears in their life – time. For example, young have a higher level of ambition, wanting live in big city with skycrapers and state-of-the-art for restaurants, means of transports and so on. In contrary, comfort and indepenence is the only desire of some old people. This is the main reason only by money, which be able to meet their needs. In other words, If they don't having money, their life will meet many challenge.

On the other hand, their statement to he isn't be supported by many people who have inclined is that fond of freedom, first and foremost, they believe future is that unprecdict, even they might be died everywhen, money that they earn not only wasting but also don't use for several their objective as travel. Secondly, instead of saving money for yourself, donating is also measure to be opt to assist the disable and difficult people or welfare system. This is able to devote to developing of society and relax about mental. For illustrate, through thunderstorm as Yagi whoch destroy both effect and health. Many people in security are banked to encourage other difficult area that have better life.

In conclude, saving money is that only vital in extent certain. Due to this, everyone might be done the things that they want to. However, spending moneywisely is also the important distribution for their life and ones.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Saving money play a essential" -> "Saving money plays an essential role"
Explanation: Adding "an" before "essential" corrects the grammatical error, and "plays an essential role" is a more formal and precise way to express the importance of saving money.
"both young people and elderly" -> "both young people and the elderly"
Explanation: "The elderly" is the correct term to refer to older adults in formal and academic contexts.
"This considered as extremely necessary" -> "This is considered extremely necessary"
Explanation: Correcting the verb tense from "considered" to "is considered" aligns with the present tense used in the sentence, improving grammatical accuracy.
"serve in a daily basis" -> "serve as a daily necessity"
Explanation: "Serve in a daily basis" is awkward and unclear. "Serve as a daily necessity" clarifies the meaning and enhances the formal tone.
"most of something in life seems relevant to money" -> "many aspects of life are dependent on money"
Explanation: "Most of something in life seems relevant to money" is vague and informal. "Many aspects of life are dependent on money" is more precise and formal.
"which make them a living" -> "which enables them to make a living"
Explanation: "Which make them a living" is grammatically incorrect. "Which enables them to make a living" corrects the verb tense and clarifies the meaning.
"climbing to the career ladder" -> "advancing in their careers"
Explanation: "Climbing to the career ladder" is an idiom and too informal for academic writing. "Advancing in their careers" is more formal and precise.
"the large number of the problem" -> "a significant number of problems"
Explanation: "The large number of the problem" is grammatically incorrect. "A significant number of problems" corrects the plural form and enhances clarity.
"young have a higher level of ambition" -> "younger individuals have a higher level of ambition"
Explanation: "Young" is not the correct noun form; "younger individuals" is more precise and formal.
"wanting live in big city with skycrapers and state-of-the-art for restaurants, means of transports and so on" -> "desire to live in large cities with skyscrapers and state-of-the-art facilities for restaurants, transportation, and so on"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and informal. The revised version corrects these issues and uses more formal vocabulary.
"comfort and indepenence" -> "comfort and independence"
Explanation: "Indepenence" is a typographical error; "independence" is the correct spelling.
"which be able to meet their needs" -> "which can meet their needs"
Explanation: "Which be able to" is awkward and incorrect. "Which can meet" is grammatically correct and more natural.
"their statement to he isn’t be supported" -> "this statement is not supported"
Explanation: "Their statement to he isn’t be supported" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "This statement is not supported" corrects these issues and clarifies the meaning.
"fond of freedom" -> "appreciate freedom"
Explanation: "Fond of" is informal and less precise. "Appreciate" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"even they might be died everywhen" -> "even they might die at any time"
Explanation: "Died everywhen" is incorrect and unclear. "Die at any time" corrects the verb tense and clarifies the meaning.
"money that they earn not only wasting but also don’t use for several their objective" -> "money they earn, which is not only wasted but also not used for several purposes"
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision corrects these issues and clarifies the meaning.
"donating is also measure to be opt to assist" -> "donating is also an option to assist"
Explanation: "Measure to be opt" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "An option to assist" corrects these issues and is more formal.
"devote to developing of society" -> "contribute to the development of society"
Explanation: "Devote to developing of society" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "Contribute to the development of society" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"relax about mental" -> "relieve mental stress"
Explanation: "Relax about mental" is unclear and informal. "Relieve mental stress" is specific and appropriate for academic writing.
"In conclude" -> "In conclusion"
Explanation: "In conclude" is

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt regarding the importance of saving money for everyone, including young people. However, it only partially engages with the topic. The introduction suggests that the author partly agrees with the statement, but the reasons provided are vague and not directly linked to the necessity of saving money. For instance, the discussion about young people’s ambitions and elderly people’s desires lacks a clear connection to saving money. The mention of societal contributions through donations, while relevant, diverts from the primary focus of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should explicitly outline the importance of saving money for both young people and the elderly in the introduction. Each paragraph should then provide specific examples that directly relate to the benefits of saving, such as financial security, preparation for emergencies, and the ability to invest in future opportunities.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat unclear position. The phrase "I partly agree" introduces ambiguity, and the subsequent arguments do not consistently reinforce a clear stance. For example, while discussing the ambitions of young people, the author fails to clarify how these ambitions necessitate saving money. The discussion of elderly desires also lacks a direct link to the overall argument about saving.
- How to improve: The author should adopt a definitive position—either fully supporting or opposing the statement. If choosing to agree, the essay should consistently highlight how saving money is essential for achieving the ambitions mentioned. If partly agreeing, the author should clearly delineate the conditions under which saving is important and when it may not be.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are underdeveloped and lack sufficient support. For example, the mention of young people’s ambitions is not elaborated upon with concrete examples or statistics that demonstrate the necessity of saving. The argument regarding donations is interesting but strays from the main topic and does not provide a strong rationale for why saving money is important.
- How to improve: To improve, the author should focus on providing specific examples that illustrate the importance of saving money. This could include personal anecdotes, statistical data, or case studies that highlight the consequences of not saving. Each idea should be clearly linked back to the central thesis, ensuring that all points made support the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally deviates from the main topic of saving money. For instance, the discussion about donating money and societal contributions, while relevant in a broader sense, distracts from the core argument about the necessity of saving. Additionally, the phrasing and structure sometimes lead to confusion, making it difficult to follow the main thread of the argument.
- How to improve: The author should ensure that every paragraph directly relates to the topic of saving money. To maintain focus, it may be helpful to outline the essay before writing, ensuring that each point made ties back to the importance of saving. Additionally, using clear topic sentences for each paragraph can help guide the reader and reinforce the main argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a mix of ideas regarding the importance of saving money for both young people and the elderly. However, the organization is somewhat disjointed. For instance, the first paragraph introduces the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement. The points made in the body paragraphs do not follow a logical progression, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. The transition between discussing the ambitions of young people and the desires of the elderly is abrupt, lacking a clear connection.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer should start with a clear thesis statement that outlines the main arguments. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea, followed by supporting details that are logically connected. Using transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In contrast," "Additionally") can help guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs, but they are not effectively structured. The first paragraph contains multiple ideas without clear separation, and the second paragraph introduces new concepts without adequately developing the previous ones. The conclusion is also vague and does not summarize the key points made in the essay.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. The writer should ensure that each paragraph has a clear structure: a topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument. For example, the paragraph discussing young people’s ambitions could be separated from the one discussing the elderly’s desires, allowing for a more focused discussion.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, but they are limited and often misused. For example, phrases like "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" are used, but the connections between ideas are not always clear. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow, such as "In contrary" and "their statement to he isn’t be supported by many people."
- How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases that clarify relationships between ideas (e.g., "however," "for instance," "in addition"). It is also important to ensure that the devices used are grammatically correct and contextually appropriate. Practicing sentence variety and ensuring clarity in connections will strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on organizing ideas logically, structuring paragraphs effectively, and using a diverse range of cohesive devices correctly. This will enhance the clarity and coherence of the essay, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt to use varied vocabulary, such as "essential," "ambition," and "independence." However, the range is limited and often repetitive, with phrases like "young people" and "old people" being used multiple times without variation. Additionally, terms like "something" and "many different positions" lack specificity, which detracts from the overall quality of the vocabulary used.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more descriptive phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "young people," alternatives like "youth" or "younger generations" could be employed. Similarly, instead of "old people," terms like "elderly individuals" or "seniors" would add variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "most of something in life seems relevant to money" is vague and unclear. Additionally, "this considered as extremely necessary" lacks grammatical accuracy and precision. The phrase "the large number of the problem" is also incorrect; it should be "a large number of problems."
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. For example, instead of "most of something," they could specify what "something" refers to, such as "most aspects of daily life." Furthermore, ensuring grammatical correctness will enhance precision. Revising phrases for clarity and correctness will help improve the overall effectiveness of the vocabulary used.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "play" instead of "plays," "skycrapers" instead of "skyscrapers," "unprecdict" instead of "unpredictable," and "moneywisely" which should be two separate words. These mistakes can distract the reader and undermine the credibility of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that provide feedback. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times can help catch spelling errors before submission. Reading more extensively can also improve spelling through exposure to correctly spelled words in context.

Overall, while the essay shows some effort in vocabulary use, significant improvements are needed in range, precision, and spelling to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt to use a variety of sentence structures; however, the overall range is limited. For instance, the use of simple sentences predominates, such as "Saving money play a essential both young people and elderly in the day and age." This sentence lacks complexity and contains grammatical errors. Additionally, phrases like "In contrary" and "the large number of the problem" indicate awkward constructions that detract from clarity. The essay also contains several run-on sentences, which further limits the effective use of varied structures.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice combining simple sentences into complex or compound sentences. For example, instead of saying "young have a higher level of ambition," the writer could say, "Young people often have a higher level of ambition, which drives them to seek opportunities in large cities." Incorporating more varied sentence types, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, will also improve the overall complexity and sophistication of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and coherence. For example, "play a essential" should be "plays an essential role," and "which be able to meet their needs" should be "which is able to meet their needs." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect conjunction usage, create confusion. For instance, "In contrary, comfort and indepenence is the only desire of some old people" lacks clarity and should be rephrased for accuracy. The misuse of articles and subject-verb agreement is also prevalent, as seen in "the large number of the problem."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, will be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that each sentence is complete and correctly structured will help enhance clarity. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can also aid in identifying and correcting mistakes before finalizing the essay.

Overall, while the essay shows an understanding of the topic, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety and grammatical correctness will greatly enhance the effectiveness of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Saving money plays an essential role for both young people and the elderly in today’s world. This is considered extremely necessary to serve as a daily necessity. In spite of this, I partly agree with this statement for several reasons.**

On the one hand, many aspects of life are dependent on money, which enables individuals to make a living and advance in their careers across various positions. Additionally, a significant number of problems gradually appear in their lives over time. For example, younger individuals have a higher level of ambition, desiring to live in large cities with skyscrapers and state-of-the-art facilities for restaurants, transportation, and so on. In contrast, comfort and independence are the primary desires of some older people. This is the main reason why money is essential, as it can meet their needs. In other words, if they do not have money, their lives will face many challenges.

On the other hand, this statement is not supported by many people who appreciate freedom. First and foremost, they believe the future is unpredictable; even they might die at any time. The money they earn is often wasted and not used for several purposes, such as travel. Secondly, instead of saving money solely for themselves, donating is also an option to assist those with disabilities and those facing difficulties, as well as the welfare system. This can contribute to the development of society and relieve mental stress. For instance, during a thunderstorm, like the one that affected many, individuals in secure positions often bank on helping those in more challenging areas to improve their lives.

In conclusion, saving money is vital to a certain extent. Due to this, everyone can pursue the things they want. However, spending money wisely is also an important aspect of their lives and well-being.