It is said that teenagers are under a lot of stress and pressures. Write an essay (from 200 to 250 words)to suggest ways to get rid of these problems.

Teenagers today encounter various challenges, particularly stress and pressure, but there are effective ways to manage these issues.
First, it's important for teenagers to avoid setting overly ambitious goals. By creating realistic and achievable plans, they can reduce the likelihood of facing overwhelming expectations from themselves or others. Achieving these goals can boost their self-esteem and motivation. Moreover, teenagers should resist the urge to compare themselves with others, recognizing their own strengths and individual qualities. Parents play a key role in this process by valuing their children’s uniqueness and supporting their personal aspirations. This kind of encouragement can create a harmonious home environment where both teenagers and parents feel understood and content. Furthermore, when teenagers receive lower grades, parents should respond with empathy rather than criticism. A supportive and understanding approach from both parents and teenagers can maintain a healthy relationship. Teenagers should also try to manage their anxiety about exams by focusing on learning from past experiences rather than fearing the future. This mindset can lead to gradual improvement over time.
In conclusion, while there are multiple ways to help teenagers reduce stress, success ultimately depends on their willingness to adopt these strategies and take action.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Teenagers today encounter various challenges" -> "Teenagers currently face numerous challenges"
Explanation: Replacing "encounter" with "face" provides a more direct and formal expression, and "numerous" is more precise than "various" in academic writing.
"stress and pressure" -> "stress and pressure-related issues"
Explanation: Adding "related issues" clarifies that the stress and pressure are specific to certain contexts, enhancing the academic tone.
"there are effective ways to manage these issues" -> "there exist effective strategies to mitigate these issues"
Explanation: "Exist" is more formal than "are," and "strategies" is more specific than "ways," which enhances the academic tone. "Mitigate" is also more precise than "manage" in this context.
"it’s important" -> "it is crucial"
Explanation: "It is crucial" replaces the contraction "it’s" with the full form, which is more appropriate in formal academic writing.
"avoid setting overly ambitious goals" -> "refrain from setting overly ambitious goals"
Explanation: "Refrain from" is a more formal alternative to "avoid," aligning better with academic style.
"By creating realistic and achievable plans" -> "By establishing realistic and achievable plans"
Explanation: "Establishing" is a more formal synonym for "creating," which enhances the academic tone.
"reduce the likelihood of facing" -> "minimize the risk of encountering"
Explanation: "Minimize the risk of encountering" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"boost their self-esteem and motivation" -> "enhance their self-esteem and motivation"
Explanation: "Enhance" is a more formal synonym for "boost," aligning better with academic language.
"resist the urge to compare themselves" -> "avoid the tendency to compare themselves"
Explanation: "Avoid the tendency to compare themselves" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea.
"recognizing their own strengths and individual qualities" -> "acknowledging their unique strengths and qualities"
Explanation: "Acknowledging" is more formal than "recognizing," and "unique" is more specific than "individual," which is vague.
"Parents play a key role" -> "Parents assume a pivotal role"
Explanation: "Assume a pivotal role" is a more formal expression than "play a key role," which is somewhat colloquial.
"valuing their children’s uniqueness" -> "appreciating their children’s distinctiveness"
Explanation: "Appreciating their children’s distinctiveness" is more formal and precise than "valuing their children’s uniqueness."
"supporting their personal aspirations" -> "supporting their individual aspirations"
Explanation: "Individual" is more specific and formal than "personal" in this context.
"This kind of encouragement" -> "Such encouragement"
Explanation: "Such encouragement" is more concise and formal, fitting better in academic writing.
"when teenagers receive lower grades" -> "when teenagers achieve lower grades"
Explanation: "Achieve" is more precise and formal than "receive" in this context, as it implies effort and accomplishment.
"respond with empathy rather than criticism" -> "respond with empathy instead of criticism"
Explanation: "Instead of" is more formal than "rather than" in academic writing.
"supportive and understanding approach" -> "supportive and understanding approach"
Explanation: No change needed here, as the phrase is already formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"manage their anxiety about exams" -> "manage their exam-related anxiety"
Explanation: "Exam-related anxiety" is more specific and formal than "anxiety about exams."
"focusing on learning from past experiences" -> "focusing on learning from past experiences"
Explanation: No change needed here, as the phrase is already clear and formal.
"This mindset can lead to gradual improvement over time" -> "This mindset may lead to gradual improvement over time"
Explanation: "May" is more cautious and academically appropriate than "can," which is somewhat less formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing ways for teenagers to manage stress and pressure. However, it lacks a comprehensive exploration of the various sources of stress that teenagers face, such as academic pressures, social media influence, and family expectations. The suggestions provided, while relevant, do not cover a broad range of strategies or address the root causes of stress effectively. The essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion of both the problems and the solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should first identify and elaborate on different sources of stress that teenagers encounter. Following this, they should offer a wider variety of practical solutions that address these specific issues. For instance, including strategies like time management techniques, mindfulness practices, or seeking professional help could provide a more rounded response to the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position that emphasizes the importance of supportive relationships and realistic goal-setting. However, the position could be strengthened by more explicitly stating the main argument in the introduction and reiterating it throughout the essay. The conclusion does summarize the main points but lacks a strong, definitive statement about the importance of implementing these strategies.
- How to improve: To present a clearer position, the writer should start with a strong thesis statement that outlines their main argument. Throughout the essay, they should consistently refer back to this thesis, ensuring that each paragraph ties back to the central idea. A more impactful conclusion that reaffirms the importance of the suggested strategies would also help solidify the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as avoiding ambitious goals and fostering supportive relationships with parents. However, these ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported with examples or evidence. For instance, while the essay mentions the importance of empathy from parents, it does not provide specific examples of how this can be implemented or the positive effects it can have on a teenager’s mental health.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide specific examples or scenarios that illustrate their points. For instance, they could describe a situation where a teenager successfully manages stress through a particular strategy, or they could cite studies or statistics that support their claims. This would not only strengthen their arguments but also engage the reader more effectively.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on ways to alleviate stress for teenagers. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly vague, particularly in the conclusion, where it shifts to a more general statement about success depending on willingness. This could lead to a lack of focus on the specific strategies discussed earlier.
- How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus on the topic, the writer should ensure that every paragraph directly relates back to the main question of how to reduce stress for teenagers. They should avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion and instead summarize the key strategies discussed, reinforcing their relevance to the prompt.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents some relevant ideas, it falls short in depth and breadth. By expanding on the sources of stress, providing clearer positions, supporting ideas with examples, and maintaining focus, the writer can significantly improve their Task Response score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main issues faced by teenagers. Each paragraph addresses a specific strategy for managing stress, which helps the reader follow the argument easily. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the importance of setting realistic goals, while the second focuses on parental support. This logical progression enhances the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider using topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. This would provide clearer signposts for the reader. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with transitional phrases could strengthen the overall coherence. For instance, linking the discussion of goal-setting directly to parental support could create a more integrated argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for clarity. Each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect of managing stress, making it easy for the reader to digest the information. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points, reinforcing the essay’s overall message.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. This would help readers quickly grasp the focus of each section. Additionally, varying the length of paragraphs can create a more dynamic reading experience; for example, a shorter paragraph could be used to emphasize a particularly important point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a good range of cohesive devices, such as "first," "moreover," and "furthermore," to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. These devices help guide the reader through the argument and maintain the flow of information. The use of "in conclusion" effectively signals the end of the essay and summarizes the main points.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using alternatives to "first" and "moreover," such as "initially" or "in addition," can enhance the richness of the text. Additionally, employing some more complex cohesive devices, like "conversely" or "as a result," could help articulate relationships between ideas more explicitly, especially when discussing contrasting points or implications of the strategies suggested.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "challenges," "achievable," "self-esteem," and "empathy." However, the vocabulary used tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in the discussion of stress and parental support. For example, the phrase "teenagers should" appears multiple times, which can make the writing feel monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms to diversify expression. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "teenagers should," alternatives like "young people ought to" or "adolescents may consider" could be employed. Additionally, introducing more varied adjectives and verbs could enrich the text, such as using "overcome" instead of "manage" or "navigate" instead of "face."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the term "overly ambitious goals" is clear, but "realistic and achievable plans" could be more vividly expressed as "pragmatic objectives" to convey a stronger sense of practicality. The phrase "create a harmonious home environment" is somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific descriptors.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should consider the context in which words are used and select terms that convey their intended meaning more effectively. Using a thesaurus to find more specific synonyms can help, as can practicing writing with a focus on clarity and specificity. For instance, instead of saying "maintain a healthy relationship," the writer might specify "foster open communication" to better illustrate the type of relationship being discussed.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a good level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the words used. Terms like "understanding," "motivation," and "individual" are spelled correctly, contributing positively to the overall readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch any overlooked mistakes. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or vocabulary quizzes can reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory command of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in the variety and precision of word choices. Focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word usage, and maintaining spelling accuracy will help elevate the overall quality of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of introductory phrases such as "First," "Moreover," and "Furthermore," effectively organizes the ideas and transitions between points. The sentence "By creating realistic and achievable plans, they can reduce the likelihood of facing overwhelming expectations from themselves or others" showcases a complex structure that effectively conveys a nuanced idea. However, the essay could benefit from more varied sentence openings and the use of more advanced structures, such as conditional sentences or inversion.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses or use varied sentence openings. For instance, instead of starting several sentences with "Teenagers should," the writer could begin with phrases like "In order to alleviate stress, teenagers might consider…" or "To foster a supportive environment, parents must…". Additionally, experimenting with different sentence lengths can create a more engaging rhythm in the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors present. For instance, the phrase "this kind of encouragement can create a harmonious home environment" is grammatically correct and effectively conveys the intended meaning. However, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma in the phrase "while there are multiple ways to help teenagers reduce stress" which could enhance clarity. The use of apostrophes in "teenagers’ uniqueness" is correct, but the phrase could be clearer if rephrased for better flow.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation, the writer should review the rules regarding comma usage, particularly in complex sentences and introductory clauses. Practicing the placement of commas in longer sentences can help clarify meaning. Additionally, proofreading for minor errors and ensuring that all sentences are complete and correctly punctuated will enhance overall clarity. Engaging in exercises focused on common grammatical pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, can also be beneficial.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their essay, potentially raising their band score in future assessments.

Bài sửa mẫu

Teenagers today encounter various challenges, particularly stress and pressure, but there exist effective strategies to mitigate these issues.

First, it is crucial for teenagers to refrain from setting overly ambitious goals. By establishing realistic and achievable plans, they can minimize the risk of encountering overwhelming expectations from themselves or others. Achieving these goals can enhance their self-esteem and motivation. Moreover, teenagers should avoid the tendency to compare themselves with others, acknowledging their unique strengths and qualities. Parents assume a pivotal role in this process by appreciating their children’s distinctiveness and supporting their individual aspirations. Such encouragement can create a harmonious home environment where both teenagers and parents feel understood and content.

Furthermore, when teenagers achieve lower grades, parents should respond with empathy instead of criticism. A supportive and understanding approach from both parents and teenagers can maintain a healthy relationship. Teenagers should also try to manage their exam-related anxiety by focusing on learning from past experiences rather than fearing the future. This mindset may lead to gradual improvement over time.

In conclusion, while there are multiple ways to help teenagers reduce stress, success ultimately depends on their willingness to adopt these strategies and take action.