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Limiting air travel is the most effective method of reducing air pollution.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Limiting air travel is the most effective method of reducing air pollution.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Limiting air travel stands as a significant strategy in mitigating air pollution, but proclaiming it as the ultimate solution to the complex issue warrants deeper scrutiny. While air travel contributes notably to emissions, its singular focus overlooks the broader context of pollution sources and their interconnectedness.

Undoubtedly, the aviation industry emits substantial pollutants, including carbon dioxide and nitrogen oxides. Decreasing flights could reduce these emissions, resulting in localized improvements in air quality. The pandemic-induced decline in air travel showcased temporary environmental benefits in regions near airports, emphasizing the direct correlation between reduced flights and lowered pollution levels.

However, considering air travel as the most effective method neglects crucial aspects. Limiting flights might pose economic challenges, impacting employment and sectors reliant on tourism and trade. Furthermore, other industries, such as manufacturing and transportation, contribute significantly to air pollution. Ignoring their emissions while primarily focusing on air travel might hinder overall pollution reduction efforts.

A comprehensive approach that integrates technological advancements, stringent regulations, and diversified strategies is imperative. Advancements in aircraft technology, utilization of sustainable aviation fuels, and stricter emissions standards can significantly curb aviation-related pollution. Simultaneously, addressing emissions from multiple sectors and promoting renewable energy sources across industries is pivotal for a holistic pollution reduction strategy.

In conclusion, while limiting air travel can contribute substantially to reducing air pollution, it’s only one facet of a multifaceted approach. Acknowledging the interconnectedness of pollution sources and implementing diverse strategies across industries is essential for a more effective, balanced, and sustainable solution to the overarching problem of air pollution.


 

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. “stands as” -> “represents”
    Explanation: Replacing “stands as” with “represents” provides a more formal and academic tone, eliminating the somewhat informal phrasing.
  2. “proclaiming it as” -> “asserting it to be”
    Explanation: Substituting “proclaiming it as” with “asserting it to be” enhances the formality of the sentence while maintaining clarity.
  3. “warrants deeper scrutiny” -> “requires further examination”
    Explanation: Using “requires further examination” instead of “warrants deeper scrutiny” maintains a formal tone and conveys the idea more precisely.
  4. “notably” -> “significantly”
    Explanation: Replacing “notably” with “significantly” is a more formal and appropriate choice, emphasizing the magnitude of air travel’s contribution to emissions.
  5. “localized improvements” -> “regional enhancements”
    Explanation: Changing “localized improvements” to “regional enhancements” maintains formality and provides a more precise term for the context.
  6. “pandemic-induced decline” -> “reduction prompted by the pandemic”
    Explanation: Substituting “pandemic-induced decline” with “reduction prompted by the pandemic” offers a more academically appropriate and descriptive expression.
  7. “might pose economic challenges” -> “could present economic difficulties”
    Explanation: Using “could present economic difficulties” instead of “might pose economic challenges” maintains formality and clarity.
  8. “hindering overall pollution reduction efforts” -> “impeding broader pollution reduction initiatives”
    Explanation: Replacing “hindering overall pollution reduction efforts” with “impeding broader pollution reduction initiatives” enhances the academic tone and provides a more precise description.
  9. “imperative” -> “essential”
    Explanation: Substituting “imperative” with “essential” maintains the formality of the sentence while conveying the same meaning more concisely.
  10. “more effective, balanced, and sustainable solution” -> “a more efficacious, equitable, and enduring resolution”
    Explanation: Using “a more efficacious, equitable, and enduring resolution” instead of “more effective, balanced, and sustainable solution” maintains formality and introduces more advanced vocabulary without sacrificing clarity.

 

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: “Limiting air travel stands as a significant strategy in mitigating air pollution, but proclaiming it as the ultimate solution to the complex issue warrants deeper scrutiny.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While your introduction addresses the topic, it lacks clarity in presenting your stance on the issue. A more explicit statement regarding your position on whether you agree or disagree with the prompt would enhance the overall coherence of your essay. For example, consider stating, “I partially agree with the assertion that limiting air travel is a crucial strategy in mitigating air pollution, but it should not be considered the sole solution.”
    • Improved example: “While I support the idea that limiting air travel is a significant strategy in mitigating air pollution, I believe proclaiming it as the ultimate solution to the complex issue warrants deeper scrutiny.”
  2. Quoted text: “Decreasing flights could reduce these emissions, resulting in localized improvements in air quality.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your argument about the environmental benefits of decreased air travel is well-developed. However, to strengthen this point, provide specific examples or scenarios to illustrate how localized improvements in air quality have occurred due to reduced flights. This would add depth to your reasoning and make your argument more persuasive.
    • Improved example: “For instance, during the COVID-19 pandemic, the substantial decrease in air travel led to a noticeable improvement in air quality in regions near airports, showcasing the direct correlation between reduced flights and lowered pollution levels.”
  3. Quoted text: “Limiting flights might pose economic challenges, impacting employment and sectors reliant on tourism and trade.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your consideration of economic challenges is valid, but it lacks specificity. To enhance this point, provide concrete examples of how limiting air travel has impacted employment or specific sectors in the past. This would strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
    • Improved example: “For instance, restrictions on air travel during certain periods have previously led to significant job losses in the airline industry, highlighting the economic challenges associated with limiting flights.”
  4. Quoted text: “A comprehensive approach that integrates technological advancements, stringent regulations, and diversified strategies is imperative.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While your conclusion emphasizes the need for a comprehensive approach, it could benefit from specifying examples of technological advancements or diversified strategies that could be implemented. This would provide a more concrete and detailed conclusion, aligning with the Band 7 criterion.
    • Improved example: “In conclusion, a comprehensive approach that integrates advancements such as electric aircraft technology, stringent emissions regulations, and diversified strategies like promoting sustainable aviation fuels is imperative for a more effective, balanced, and sustainable solution to the overarching problem of air pollution.”

Overall, your essay is well-structured and presents a clear position throughout. To enhance your score, focus on providing more specific examples to support your points, particularly in illustrating the environmental and economic impacts of limiting air travel.

 

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a strong coherence and cohesion, aligning with the characteristics outlined in Band 8 of the descriptor. Information and ideas are logically sequenced, presenting a clear progression throughout the essay. The writer skillfully manages cohesion, using a variety of cohesive devices effectively. Paragraphing is handled sufficiently and appropriately, contributing to the overall organization of the essay.

The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and each subsequent paragraph follows a logical flow of ideas. Transitions between paragraphs and sentences are smooth, creating a cohesive narrative. The writer effectively employs cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.

Paragraphs are well-structured, each presenting a clear central topic and contributing to the development of the argument. The conclusion neatly summarizes the key points without introducing new ideas, reinforcing the essay’s coherence.

How to improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider incorporating more varied sentence structures and ensuring that each paragraph has a strong topic sentence. While the essay effectively uses cohesive devices, strive for an even more seamless integration of these elements to enhance the overall fluidity of the essay. Additionally, carefully review paragraphing to ensure that it aligns perfectly with the logical progression of ideas. Overall, maintaining this high level of organization and cohesion will continue to strengthen the essay.

 

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: This essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary and meets the criteria for Band 7. It uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow for flexibility and precision in conveying ideas. The writer employs less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation, contributing to the fluency and sophistication of the essay. While there are occasional errors in word choice and word formation, they do not significantly impede communication. The essay effectively discusses the topic with a well-structured argument and demonstrates an understanding of the issue’s complexity.

How to improve: To reach a higher band score, the writer should aim for greater accuracy in word choice and word formation. While the essay uses less common vocabulary effectively, eliminating occasional errors would enhance the overall lexical resource score. Additionally, further refining the use of uncommon lexical items and ensuring precise word choice and collocation could push the essay closer to Band 8.

 

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable command of a wide range of sentence structures with flexibility and accuracy. Complex sentence forms are employed effectively throughout the essay, contributing to coherence and sophistication. The majority of sentences are error-free, with only very occasional minor errors. The candidate showcases a high level of grammatical control, and the essay’s language use enhances overall clarity and precision.

How to improve:
To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, consider incorporating a few more sophisticated sentence structures. While the essay already includes a variety of complex sentences, introducing a couple of exceptionally complex structures can add an extra layer of sophistication. Additionally, a careful proofreading to eliminate the very occasional minor errors will contribute to an even more polished and refined essay.

 

Bài sửa mẫu

“Restricting air travel serves as a significant measure in addressing air pollution, but asserting it as the ultimate solution requires careful consideration. Although air travel does contribute significantly to emissions, focusing solely on it overlooks the broader context of pollution sources and their interconnections.

Certainly, the aviation industry releases considerable pollutants like carbon dioxide and nitrogen oxides. Reducing flights could lead to a decrease in these emissions, resulting in localized improvements in air quality. The temporary environmental benefits seen during the pandemic-induced decline in air travel near airports highlight the direct link between reduced flights and lower pollution levels.

However, deeming air travel the most effective method overlooks critical aspects. Limiting flights might pose economic challenges, impacting employment and sectors dependent on tourism and trade. Moreover, other industries, such as manufacturing and transportation, also contribute significantly to air pollution. Ignoring their emissions while mainly focusing on air travel might impede overall pollution reduction efforts.

A comprehensive approach that includes technological advancements, strict regulations, and diversified strategies is essential. Progress in aircraft technology, the use of sustainable aviation fuels, and stricter emissions standards can significantly reduce aviation-related pollution. Simultaneously, addressing emissions from various sectors and promoting renewable energy sources across industries is crucial for a holistic pollution reduction strategy.

In conclusion, while restricting air travel can substantially contribute to reducing air pollution, it is just one aspect of a multifaceted approach. Recognizing the interconnections of pollution sources and implementing diverse strategies across industries is essential for a more effective, balanced, and sustainable solution to the overarching problem of air pollution.”

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