Many countries are now facing a lack of students choosing science subjects. Why and what are the solutions?

It is true today, in many countries, there are not enough students selecting science subject. This essay aim to shed lights the reasons behind this phenomenon and to propose to effective strategies to increase the number pursuing these subject

The main root cause of the lack of student in science-related fields is the challenging nature of these majors science subject encompass a variety of formulae, equation, theories, requiring learners to have decent logical and analytical thinking which are not available for everyone. This can be observed in the fact that the average of scores of science-based subjects, such as Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, are often remarkably lower than the scores of other subjects. These complexities can be considered a significant barrier preventing general students from pursuing these subjects.

Fortunately, the two following steps could be taken by the government to encourage more students to choose science-related majors. The first meansure would be to promote public education to improve public understanding of the important of science subject. For example if student are aware that these subject lay a solid foundation for their nation to achieve for their nation to achieve scienfic and technological break throughs they might be inspired to choose these highly challenging fields. Another solution would be to induce new policies to make subjects more accesibe to general student to help them stay focused or their study without the burden of tuition fees.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is true today, in many countries, there are not enough students selecting science subject." -> "It is currently the case in many countries that there is a shortage of students choosing science subjects."
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly structured and informal. The revised version clarifies the meaning and uses more formal language suitable for academic writing.
"This essay aim to shed lights the reasons" -> "This essay aims to shed light on the reasons"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error "aim" to "aims" and replaces "shed lights" with "shed light on," which is the correct idiomatic expression.
"to propose to effective strategies" -> "to propose effective strategies"
Explanation: Removes the unnecessary "to" before "effective strategies," correcting the grammatical error and enhancing the sentence’s clarity.
"science subject encompass a variety of formulae, equation, theories" -> "science subjects encompass a variety of formulae, equations, and theories"
Explanation: Corrects the plural form "science subject" to "science subjects" and adds a comma and "and" for proper punctuation and clarity.
"requiring learners to have decent logical and analytical thinking which are not available for everyone" -> "requiring learners to possess decent logical and analytical thinking skills, which are not universally available"
Explanation: Replaces "have" with "possess" for a more formal tone and adds "skills" to specify what is being referred to. Also, "not available for everyone" is replaced with "not universally available" for a more precise and formal expression.
"the average of scores of science-based subjects" -> "the average scores in science-based subjects"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical structure to "the average scores in" for clarity and correctness.
"are often remarkably lower than the scores of other subjects" -> "are often significantly lower than those of other subjects"
Explanation: Replaces "remarkably" with "significantly" for a more academic tone, and "the scores of" with "those of" for grammatical correctness.
"The first meansure would be to promote public education" -> "The first measure would be to promote public awareness"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "measures" to "measure" and replaces "education" with "awareness" to specify the intended meaning of promoting understanding.
"the important of science subject" -> "the importance of science subjects"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error "important" to "importance" and changes "subject" to "subjects" to match the plural context.
"achieve for their nation to achieve scienfic and technological break throughs" -> "achieve scientific and technological breakthroughs"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "scienfic" to "scientific" and "break throughs" to "breakthroughs," and removes the redundant "for their nation" for clarity and grammatical correctness.
"induce new policies to make subjects more accesibe" -> "introduce new policies to make subjects more accessible"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "induce" to "introduce" and "accesibe" to "accessible," and adjusts the verb tense to match the context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by identifying reasons for the lack of students choosing science subjects and proposing solutions. However, it does not fully explore the reasons or solutions in depth. For instance, while it mentions the challenging nature of science subjects, it fails to discuss other potential factors such as societal perceptions of science, lack of role models, or insufficient support in schools. Additionally, the proposed solutions are somewhat vague and lack specific details on how they could be implemented.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should consider a broader range of reasons for the decline in interest in science subjects, such as cultural attitudes or educational system shortcomings. Furthermore, each proposed solution should be elaborated upon with specific examples or strategies for implementation, which would strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that the lack of students in science is due to the challenging nature of the subjects and suggests that government intervention is necessary. However, the position is not consistently clear throughout the essay. For example, the transition between discussing reasons and solutions could be smoother, and the essay occasionally shifts focus without clear connections.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use clear topic sentences that outline the main point of each paragraph. Additionally, using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the argument, ensuring that each part of the essay builds upon the previous one.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas regarding the reasons for the lack of interest in science and suggests solutions. However, the ideas are not fully developed or supported with sufficient evidence. For instance, the claim that science subjects are challenging is made but not backed up with examples or statistics that could strengthen the argument. The solutions proposed are also not well-supported with details on how they could be effectively implemented.
- How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and substantiate ideas, the writer should include specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes that illustrate their points. This could involve citing studies on student performance in science subjects or providing examples of successful educational initiatives in other countries. Additionally, elaborating on how proposed solutions could be enacted would enhance the essay’s persuasiveness.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the lack of students in science subjects and proposing solutions. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the transition between discussing reasons and solutions. The phrase "to achieve for their nation to achieve scientific and technological breakthroughs" is repetitive and detracts from the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the prompt. Avoiding redundancy and ensuring that each sentence contributes to the overall argument will help keep the essay on track. Additionally, reviewing the essay for clarity and conciseness can help eliminate any off-topic statements.

Overall, the essay requires significant improvement in depth, clarity, and coherence to achieve a higher band score. Expanding on ideas, providing concrete examples, and ensuring a logical flow of arguments will enhance the overall quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s intent. The body paragraphs follow a logical progression, first identifying the reasons for the lack of students in science subjects and then proposing solutions. However, the transition between the problem and the solutions could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "Fortunately, the two following steps could be taken by the government" serves as a transition but feels abrupt. The essay could benefit from a more explicit linking statement that summarizes the problem before introducing the solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that summarize the preceding point before moving on to the next. For example, after discussing the challenges, a sentence like "Given these challenges, it is crucial to explore potential solutions" could provide a clearer transition.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with one paragraph dedicated to the reasons for the decline in science subject enrollment and another focused on solutions. However, the first paragraph could be more clearly defined, as it contains multiple ideas that could be broken down further. The lack of a clear topic sentence in the first paragraph makes it less effective in guiding the reader.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For instance, the first paragraph could start with a sentence like, "One of the primary reasons for the decline in student enrollment in science subjects is their inherent difficulty." This would provide a clearer focus for the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for example" and "another solution," which help in linking ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow. For example, the phrase "the important of science subject" contains a grammatical error and could be better expressed as "the importance of science subjects." Additionally, the phrase "to achieve for their nation to achieve scientific and technological breakthroughs" is repetitive and could be streamlined for clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," or "consequently." Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will enhance the overall coherence of the essay. For example, revise sentences for clarity and avoid redundancy to maintain reader engagement.

By addressing these areas, the essay can improve its coherence and cohesion, potentially raising its band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary related to the topic of science education. Terms such as "challenging nature," "logical and analytical thinking," and "significant barrier" are appropriate and relevant. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of repetition, such as the phrase "science subject" and "subjects," which could be varied with synonyms or more specific terms (e.g., "scientific disciplines," "STEM fields").
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "subject," they could use "discipline," "field," or "area of study." Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to education and science could elevate the essay’s lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are notable inaccuracies that hinder clarity. For example, "aim to shed lights" should be "aim to shed light," and "the average of scores of science-based subjects" could be more clearly stated as "the average scores in science-based subjects." Furthermore, phrases like "the important of science subject" contain grammatical errors that affect the precision of the expression.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and ensure that phrases are correctly constructed. They should also consider using more specific terms when discussing concepts. For example, instead of "important of science subject," they could say "importance of science education." Proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing will also enhance precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "meansure" (measure), "accesibe" (accessible), and "scienfic" (scientific). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading process after drafting their essay. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a decent command of vocabulary relevant to the topic, improvements in range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource. Focusing on these areas will not only enhance the quality of the writing but also improve overall clarity and effectiveness in communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but it primarily relies on simple and compound sentences. For example, phrases like "the average of scores of science-based subjects, such as Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, are often remarkably lower than the scores of other subjects" show an attempt at complexity, but the overall structure lacks sophistication. There are instances of run-on sentences, such as "the challenging nature of these majors science subject encompass a variety of formulae, equation, theories," which could be broken down for clarity and variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences, such as those using subordinate clauses or varied conjunctions. For example, instead of saying "the average of scores of science-based subjects… are often remarkably lower," the writer could say, "While the average scores in science-based subjects are often remarkably lower, this trend can be attributed to the challenging nature of these fields." Practicing sentence combining exercises and reading more complex texts can help in this regard.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For instance, "This essay aim to shed lights the reasons" should be "This essay aims to shed light on the reasons." The phrase "the lack of student in science-related fields" should be corrected to "the lack of students in science-related fields." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences, contribute to run-on sentences, making the text harder to read. For example, "For example if student are aware…" should include a comma after "example."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular grammar exercises, particularly on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors before submission can help catch mistakes. Reading aloud can also assist in identifying awkward phrasing and run-on sentences, allowing for smoother revisions.

In summary, while the essay presents relevant ideas, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation will significantly elevate the overall quality of the writing. Regular practice and revision are key strategies for improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is true today that, in many countries, there are not enough students selecting science subjects. This essay aims to shed light on the reasons behind this phenomenon and to propose effective strategies to increase the number pursuing these subjects.

The main root cause of the lack of students in science-related fields is the challenging nature of these majors. Science subjects encompass a variety of formulae, equations, and theories, requiring learners to possess decent logical and analytical thinking skills, which are not universally available. This can be observed in the fact that the average scores in science-based subjects, such as Mathematics, Physics, and Chemistry, are often remarkably lower than the scores in other subjects. These complexities can be considered a significant barrier preventing general students from pursuing these subjects.

Fortunately, the two following steps could be taken by the government to encourage more students to choose science-related majors. The first measure would be to promote public education to improve public understanding of the importance of science subjects. For example, if students are aware that these subjects lay a solid foundation for their nation to achieve scientific and technological breakthroughs, they might be inspired to choose these highly challenging fields. Another solution would be to introduce new policies to make subjects more accessible to general students, helping them stay focused on their studies without the burden of tuition fees.