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Many different shops and brands are expanding their products to international market. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Many different shops and brands are expanding their products to international market. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

A variety of shops and brands decide to integrate by expanding their products to the global market. Some people contend it brings various benefits such as promoting cultural identity and providing high-quality products. Nonetheless, others assume it has adverse impacts on tax evasion and a lot of smuggled goods. In this essay, the advantages and disadvantages of both places will be discussed.
On the one hand, promoting products to megamarkets results in product inflation and tax avoidance. Because of differences in tax laws, brands can hide real sales, making it difficult to track tax payments to the government. Therefore, the state has a budget shortage and reducing the quality of public services. In this case, many large companies establish subsidiaries in low-tax countries to shift profits there, avoiding paying taxes in the country where they conduct their main business. It causes a lack of budget leading to reduced quality of medical equipment making it difficult to treat. Furthermore, too many items will make it difficult for buyers to choose and lead to buying poor quality products. As soon as, Instant noodle companies continuously launch new flavors and new variations, making consumers confused when standing in front of the store shelves and it is difficult to choose a good one that suits their needs
On the other hand, expanding products to the international market delivers top-notch products and cultural promotion. In other words, competitiveness between manufacturers and companies serve as a catalyst for them to enhance their product quality such as quality materials, colors, and cutting-edge styles in order to gain reputation. Aside from having a place in the market, they can achieve a big profit. For instance, Bugatti Veyron a sports car brand in France used advanced technologies and innovative sports design to enhance their cars. Thus, not only gaining a reputation for exclusive style but also making a fortune and becoming one of the most luxurious sports car brands. Moreover, expanding products in the world is the best way to disseminate culture. Following this, people who use products frequently learn about their origin which can make a good impression and boost economic development. To illustrate, Japan exports cuisines such as sushi and ramen to the global market through films and animation. Because of its popularity, many people absolutely love this country for its delicious food and therefore sales revenue has increased.
In conclusion, although it is detrimental to exploit loopholes in order to cheat on taxes and provide counterfeit goods, I believe that it has wide-ranging benefits to cultural branding and supplying premium products.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "A variety of shops and brands decide to integrate by expanding their products to the global market." -> "A range of retailers and brands opt to expand their product offerings globally."
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear. The suggested revision clarifies the action and uses more formal language suitable for an academic context.

  2. "Some people contend it brings various benefits" -> "Some argue that this approach offers various benefits"
    Explanation: The original phrase is vague and informal. The revision specifies the subject of contention and uses a more formal structure.

  3. "others assume it has adverse impacts" -> "others contend that it has adverse impacts"
    Explanation: "Assume" is too weak and informal for academic writing. "Contend" is more appropriate as it implies a stronger, more formal assertion.

  4. "a lot of smuggled goods" -> "a significant amount of contraband"
    Explanation: "A lot of smuggled goods" is informal and vague. "A significant amount of contraband" is more precise and formal.

  5. "promoting products to megamarkets" -> "marketing products to global markets"
    Explanation: "Megamarkets" is not a standard term; "global markets" is more accurate and widely recognized in business contexts.

  6. "product inflation" -> "price inflation"
    Explanation: "Product inflation" is not a standard term; "price inflation" is the correct term for describing an increase in prices.

  7. "Because of differences in tax laws" -> "Due to differences in tax laws"
    Explanation: "Because of" is less formal than "Due to," which is more commonly used in academic writing.

  8. "reducing the quality of public services" -> "resulting in a reduction in the quality of public services"
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed. The revision clarifies the causal relationship and maintains a formal tone.

  9. "As soon as, Instant noodle companies" -> "As a result, instant noodle companies"
    Explanation: "As soon as" is informal and imprecise. "As a result" is more appropriate for academic writing, indicating a logical consequence.

  10. "making consumers confused" -> "leading to consumer confusion"
    Explanation: "Making consumers confused" is awkward and informal. "Leading to consumer confusion" is more formal and precise.

  11. "delivers top-notch products" -> "offers high-quality products"
    Explanation: "Delivers top-notch products" is colloquial. "Offers high-quality products" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.

  12. "Aside from having a place in the market" -> "In addition to establishing a market presence"
    Explanation: The original phrase is vague and informal. The revision provides a clearer and more formal expression.

  13. "a big profit" -> "substantial profits"
    Explanation: "A big profit" is informal and imprecise. "Substantial profits" is more formal and quantifiable.

  14. "disseminate culture" -> "promote cultural exchange"
    Explanation: "Disseminate culture" is less common and slightly awkward. "Promote cultural exchange" is a more precise and widely accepted term in academic contexts.

  15. "Following this, people who use products frequently learn about their origin" -> "Consequently, frequent users of these products become aware of their origins"
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and informal. The revision clarifies the causal relationship and uses more formal language.

These changes enhance the formality, clarity, and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the expansion of shops and brands into international markets. The writer discusses the negative aspects, such as tax evasion and product inflation, while also highlighting the positive impacts, including cultural promotion and improved product quality. However, the discussion of the negative side is somewhat more developed than the positive side, which could lead to an imbalance in the argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that both sides are given equal weight in terms of depth and detail. This could involve providing more examples and elaboration on the benefits of international expansion, such as how it fosters innovation and consumer choice, to create a more balanced discussion.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in the conclusion, stating that the benefits of cultural branding and premium products outweigh the negative aspects. However, the transition from discussing both sides to stating a personal opinion could be smoother. The phrase "I believe that it has wide-ranging benefits" could be more explicitly linked to the arguments made earlier in the essay.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly connect their opinion to the arguments presented in the body paragraphs. This can be achieved by reiterating key points from both sides in the conclusion and clearly stating how they lead to the final opinion.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as tax evasion and cultural promotion, and supports them with examples. However, some ideas, particularly the negative aspects, could be further extended. For instance, the mention of "poor quality products" could benefit from additional context or examples to illustrate this point more effectively.
    • How to improve: To improve the extension and support of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, when discussing the confusion caused by too many product choices, the writer could elaborate on how this affects consumer behavior or provide specific statistics or studies to back up the claim.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt about the expansion of shops and brands into international markets. However, there are moments where the connection to the main topic could be clearer, such as when discussing tax evasion and its consequences. The link between these points and the overall theme of international expansion could be more explicitly stated.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made is directly tied back to the prompt. This can be achieved by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that reiterate how the content relates to the expansion of products into international markets. Additionally, summarizing how each point contributes to the overall argument in the concluding remarks can help reinforce the topic’s relevance.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with distinct sections for discussing both the positive and negative aspects of expanding products to the international market. The introduction effectively sets up the discussion, and each paragraph focuses on a specific viewpoint. However, the transition between points could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing tax evasion to the benefits of product expansion feels abrupt.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument. For instance, after discussing the negative impacts, a phrase like "Conversely, there are also significant advantages to this expansion" could better signal the shift in focus. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence can help reinforce the main idea being discussed.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument. However, some paragraphs could benefit from clearer internal organization. For instance, the first body paragraph contains multiple ideas that could be more effectively grouped or sequenced.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples. For example, in the first body paragraph, consider breaking it into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on tax evasion and the other on product inflation. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and make the argument more compelling.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to contrast the two sides of the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "In this case" could be replaced with a more specific cohesive device that directly relates to the previous sentence.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Moreover" can help to add information, while "However," "Conversely," or "On the contrary" can effectively introduce contrasting points. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms can help to avoid repetition and create smoother transitions between sentences.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, there is room for improvement in the logical flow, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested strategies, the essay can achieve a higher level of clarity and effectiveness in conveying its arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "integrate," "global market," "adverse impacts," "tax evasion," and "cultural promotion." These words effectively convey the complexity of the topic. However, there are moments where the vocabulary could be more varied. For instance, the phrase "expand their products" is repeated, which could be replaced with synonyms such as "broaden their offerings" or "diversify their product lines" to enhance lexical variety.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions throughout the essay. Keeping a list of synonyms for commonly used words can help in diversifying vocabulary. Additionally, practicing writing with prompts that require different perspectives can encourage the use of varied language.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of precise vocabulary, such as "top-notch products" and "cutting-edge styles," which effectively convey the intended meaning. However, there are also examples of imprecise usage, such as "making it difficult to treat" without specifying what is being treated. This vagueness can confuse the reader and detracts from the overall clarity of the argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should ensure that all terms used are specific and relevant to the context. For example, instead of saying "making it difficult to treat," the writer could specify "making it difficult to treat patients effectively due to inadequate medical resources." This not only clarifies the statement but also strengthens the argument.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling accuracy, with few errors. However, there are a couple of instances that could be improved, such as "megmarkets," which appears to be a typographical error for "megastores" or "megabrands." Such errors can detract from the professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spelling and grammar checking tools can also be beneficial. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises and reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced view of the topic. By focusing on expanding vocabulary variety, enhancing precision in word choice, and ensuring spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some compound sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "promoting products to megamarkets results in product inflation and tax avoidance" showcases an ability to combine ideas effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as starting several sentences with "In this case" or "Moreover," which can detract from the overall variety. Additionally, some sentences are overly long and could be broken down for clarity, such as the sentence discussing Bugatti Veyron, which could be simplified for better readability.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider varying the sentence openings and lengths more. Use introductory phrases, subordinate clauses, and different conjunctions to create a more dynamic flow. For instance, instead of starting with "Moreover," try beginning with a contrasting phrase like "Conversely," or using a question to engage the reader. Breaking longer sentences into shorter, clearer ones will also enhance readability and maintain the reader’s interest.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "the advantages and disadvantages of both places will be discussed" is misleading; it should refer to "both sides" instead of "places." Additionally, punctuation errors are present, such as the incorrect use of commas in "As soon as, Instant noodle companies…" which disrupts the flow of the sentence. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as "the state has a budget shortage and reducing the quality of public services," which should be "reduces the quality."
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, review the essay for common errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and article usage. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrases and punctuation errors. Additionally, practicing with grammar exercises focused on these areas can build confidence. Consider using tools like grammar checkers to catch mistakes before finalizing the essay. Finally, ensure that the language used is precise and that terms are correctly applied to avoid confusion, such as clarifying the subjects of sentences to maintain coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

A variety of shops and brands decide to integrate by expanding their products to the global market. Some people contend it brings various benefits, such as promoting cultural identity and providing high-quality products. Nonetheless, others assume it has adverse impacts, including tax evasion and a significant amount of smuggled goods. In this essay, the advantages and disadvantages of both sides will be discussed.

On the one hand, promoting products to megamarkets results in price inflation and tax avoidance. Due to differences in tax laws, brands can hide real sales, making it difficult to track tax payments to the government. Therefore, the state faces a budget shortage, resulting in a reduction in the quality of public services. In this case, many large companies establish subsidiaries in low-tax countries to shift profits there, avoiding paying taxes in the country where they conduct their main business. This causes a lack of budget, leading to reduced quality of medical equipment, making it difficult to treat patients. Furthermore, too many items can make it difficult for buyers to choose and lead to purchasing poor-quality products. For instance, instant noodle companies continuously launch new flavors and variations, making consumers confused when standing in front of store shelves, making it difficult to choose a good one that suits their needs.

On the other hand, expanding products to the international market delivers top-notch products and promotes cultural exchange. In other words, competitiveness between manufacturers and companies serves as a catalyst for them to enhance their product quality, such as using quality materials, vibrant colors, and cutting-edge styles in order to gain a good reputation. In addition to establishing a market presence, they can achieve substantial profits. For instance, Bugatti Veyron, a sports car brand in France, uses advanced technologies and innovative sports design to enhance their cars. Thus, they not only gain a reputation for exclusive style but also make a fortune, becoming one of the most luxurious sports car brands. Moreover, expanding products globally is the best way to disseminate culture. Consequently, people who frequently use these products become aware of their origins, which can create a good impression and boost economic development. To illustrate, Japan exports cuisines such as sushi and ramen to the global market through films and animation. Because of its popularity, many people absolutely love this country for its delicious food, and therefore sales revenue has increased.

In conclusion, although it is detrimental to exploit loopholes to cheat on taxes and provide counterfeit goods, I believe that it has wide-ranging benefits for cultural branding and supplying premium products.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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