Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.

In the globalised world, long-distance transportation of foods has become commonplace. However, it comes with several downsides that negatively affect humanity, which makes several individuals more inclined to locally produced food. Although opponents of this tendency might point out its environmental concerns and financial impacts, the advantages, such as dietary diversity and cultural exchange, make it clear that the benefits that are more substantial.
On the one hand, food deliveries are often blamed for increased carbon footprints and higher prices of final products. More trips to transport ingredients and produces, either by road or other travel modes, have led to greater amounts of greenhouse gas emissions, a main contributor to climate change and extreme weather conditions, such as droughts, floods, and earthquakes. Meanwhile, opting for local foods helps reduce these shipments, lower toxic pollutants released into the atmosphere, and ultimately protect our environment. Furthermore, the introduction of cuisine from other regions can challenge local farmers and producers. A more intense competition between exotic, novel commodities and familiar ones may cause reduced finances and negatively affect the overall economy of the region.
Despite these downsides, the positive aspects of food exchange far outweigh them due to broader eating experiences and global cohesion. These advantages can result in greater social and economic improvements. Exposure to various ingredients across different countries enriches our lives and enhance health conditions. For instance, in some cold countries, it is difficult for them to grow fruits and vegetables, which renders imports of tropical produces valuable in boosting their immune systems and diversifying their dietary plan. Another concern about the local economy can be mitigated by new opportunities to export their products to international markets, leading to even greater revenues when not being confined to the community. Take Vietnamese dragonfruits as an example. Thanks to globalisation and advancements in transportation, they have been sold in many different countries outside Vietname and have become a lucrative item, generating incomes and improving the farmers' living standards.
In conclusion, while some people oppose the transporting of foods across different regions due to its negative effects on the environment and economy, I believe the overall benefits, such as culinary diversity and additional markets for local products, which can address the economic issues, make it a net positive. Of course, it is necessary to incenticize sustainable practices or explore alternative methods to solve its implications on the nature to maximize its advantages.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"long-distance transportation of foods" -> "the long-distance transportation of food"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "long-distance transportation of food" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more formal and precise.
"comes with several downsides" -> "is accompanied by several drawbacks"
Explanation: Replacing "comes with" with "is accompanied by" and "downsides" with "drawbacks" enhances the formality and specificity of the language.
"makes several individuals more inclined" -> "leads some individuals to prefer"
Explanation: "Leads some individuals to prefer" is more precise and academically appropriate than "makes several individuals more inclined," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"food deliveries" -> "food shipments"
Explanation: "Shipments" is a more specific and formal term than "deliveries" in the context of commercial transportation.
"produces" -> "products"
Explanation: "Products" is the correct term when referring to goods being transported, not "produces," which is a verb.
"greenhouse gas emissions" -> "greenhouse gas emissions"
Explanation: This is a correct and standard term in environmental contexts, no change needed.
"toxic pollutants" -> "toxic pollutants"
Explanation: This term is correct and widely used in environmental contexts, no change needed.
"ultimately protect our environment" -> "ultimately protect the environment"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "environment" corrects the grammatical structure and enhances formality.
"introduction of cuisine" -> "introduction of cuisines"
Explanation: "Cuisines" is the plural form needed to refer to multiple types of food, not "cuisine."
"novel commodities" -> "novel commodities"
Explanation: This term is correct and widely used in economic contexts, no change needed.
"reduced finances" -> "reduced financial resources"
Explanation: "Financial resources" is a more precise and formal term than "finances."
"greater social and economic improvements" -> "more significant social and economic benefits"
Explanation: "More significant social and economic benefits" is a more precise and formal way to express the extent of the advantages.
"enriches our lives" -> "enhances our lives"
Explanation: "Enhances" is a more formal synonym for "enriches" in this context.
"diversifying their dietary plan" -> "diversifying their diets"
Explanation: "Diets" is the correct noun form, not "dietary plan," which is a less common and less formal term.
"not being confined to the community" -> "not being limited to local markets"
Explanation: "Not being limited to local markets" is a clearer and more formal way to express the idea of expanding beyond local sales.
"incenticize" -> "incentivize"
Explanation: "Incentivize" is the correct spelling of the verb, which is commonly used in formal and academic writing.
"solve its implications on the nature" -> "address its environmental implications"
Explanation: "Address its environmental implications" is a more precise and formal way to discuss the effects on the environment.

These changes enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with formal writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of consuming local food versus imported food. The author acknowledges the environmental and economic concerns associated with long-distance food transportation while also highlighting the benefits of dietary diversity and cultural exchange. This balanced approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could explicitly state the disadvantages of local food consumption, such as limited variety and potential economic drawbacks for regions reliant on imports. Including a brief discussion of these aspects would provide a more rounded perspective and strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the advantages of eating local food outweigh the disadvantages. This stance is consistently supported throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion where the author reiterates their belief in the net positive effects of local food consumption.
- How to improve: To further solidify the position, the author could use more direct language to assert their viewpoint. Phrases like "I strongly believe" or "It is clear that" could enhance the assertiveness of the position and make it more compelling.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, such as the environmental impact of food transportation and the benefits of dietary diversity. Specific examples, like the mention of Vietnamese dragonfruits, effectively illustrate the points being made. However, some ideas could be further extended to deepen the analysis, such as elaborating on how cultural exchange enriches local communities.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the author could include more data or research findings to back up claims, particularly regarding the environmental impacts of food transportation. Additionally, providing more examples of local food benefits could strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay stays on topic throughout, focusing on the environmental and economic implications of food transportation and the benefits of local food. The author successfully avoids irrelevant tangents, maintaining a clear focus on the prompt.
- How to improve: While the essay is generally focused, ensuring that every paragraph ties back to the central argument would enhance coherence. The author could explicitly connect each point back to the advantages and disadvantages of local versus imported food to reinforce the topic’s relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task requirements and presents a well-structured argument. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the author could elevate their score even further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the benefits and drawbacks of consuming local versus imported food. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, outlining the main points. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument, with the first focusing on the disadvantages of long-distance food transport and the second highlighting the advantages of local food consumption. However, while the overall structure is logical, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing environmental impacts to economic concerns could be more explicitly connected to enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the thesis statement. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In contrast," or "As a result" can help clarify the relationships between different points and improve the overall flow of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in readability. Each paragraph contains a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples. However, the second paragraph could be further divided to distinguish between environmental and economic impacts more clearly. This would help in emphasizing the distinct points being made and provide a clearer structure.
- How to improve: Consider breaking the second paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one focusing solely on environmental concerns and the other on economic impacts. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and enhance clarity. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "Despite these downsides," and "In conclusion," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, there is a reliance on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive. For instance, the phrase "local foods" is used frequently without variation, which can detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases for frequently used terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "local foods," you might use "regionally sourced produce" or "homegrown ingredients." Additionally, varying the types of cohesive devices used—such as adding more conjunctions, adverbial phrases, or referencing back to previous ideas—can enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. By focusing on improving logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their writing, potentially achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic of food transportation and local consumption. Terms such as "globalised," "carbon footprints," "greenhouse gas emissions," and "culinary diversity" reflect a solid understanding of the subject matter. However, there are instances where more varied vocabulary could enhance the essay. For example, the phrase "long-distance transportation of foods" could be rephrased to "distant food transport" or "intercontinental food shipping" to avoid repetition and showcase a broader lexical range.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions throughout the essay. Keeping a thesaurus handy while drafting can help identify alternative words or phrases that convey the same meaning but add variety. Additionally, practicing with topic-specific vocabulary lists can enhance the range of expressions used.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "higher prices of final products" could be more clearly articulated as "increased retail prices." Furthermore, the term "toxic pollutants" is somewhat vague; specifying types of pollutants, such as "carbon emissions" or "nitrogen oxides," would enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on context-specific vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. Engaging in exercises that require defining terms in context can help sharpen this skill. Additionally, reviewing the essay for vague terms and replacing them with more specific alternatives can enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is largely accurate, with only a few minor errors. The word "incenticize" is a misspelling of "incentivize," which detracts from the overall professionalism of the writing. Such errors can impact the reader’s perception of the writer’s language proficiency.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should make it a habit to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or using flashcards for commonly misspelled words can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable level of lexical resource with a band score of 7, there are clear areas for improvement. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and ensuring spelling accuracy, the writer can elevate their performance in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, the writer effectively uses subordinate clauses, as seen in the phrase "which makes several individuals more inclined to locally produced food." Additionally, the use of transitional phrases such as "On the one hand" and "Despite these downsides" helps to organize thoughts clearly. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be further diversified. For example, the sentence "A more intense competition between exotic, novel commodities and familiar ones may cause reduced finances and negatively affect the overall economy of the region" could benefit from restructuring to enhance clarity and engagement.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings, such as starting with adverbial phrases or using inversion for emphasis. For example, instead of saying "Food deliveries are often blamed for increased carbon footprints," the writer could start with "Often blamed for increased carbon footprints, food deliveries…" This technique can add variety and maintain reader interest.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the benefits that are more substantial" is awkwardly constructed; it would be clearer as "the benefits are more substantial." Additionally, there are a few punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "which renders imports of tropical produces valuable," which could enhance readability. The use of commas in lists is mostly correct, but the writer occasionally misses opportunities to use them effectively to separate clauses or phrases.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review the rules regarding relative clauses and ensure that sentences are structured clearly. Practicing the placement of commas in complex sentences will also help clarify meaning. For example, breaking down longer sentences into shorter ones or using punctuation to separate ideas can enhance clarity. Regularly proofreading for common grammatical errors and seeking feedback from peers can also aid in identifying areas for improvement.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced argument, but focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to an even higher standard.

Bài sửa mẫu

In our globalized world, the long-distance transportation of food has become commonplace. However, it is accompanied by several drawbacks that negatively affect humanity, which leads some individuals to prefer locally produced food. Although opponents of this trend might point out its environmental concerns and financial impacts, the advantages, such as dietary diversity and cultural exchange, clearly demonstrate that the benefits are more substantial.

On the one hand, food shipments are often blamed for increased carbon footprints and higher prices of final products. More trips to transport ingredients and products, whether by road or other modes of travel, have resulted in greater amounts of greenhouse gas emissions, a primary contributor to climate change and extreme weather conditions, such as droughts, floods, and hurricanes. Meanwhile, opting for local foods helps reduce these shipments, lower toxic pollutants released into the atmosphere, and ultimately protect the environment. Furthermore, the introduction of cuisines from other regions can challenge local farmers and producers. Intense competition between exotic, novel commodities and familiar ones may lead to reduced financial resources and negatively impact the overall economy of the region.

Despite these downsides, the positive aspects of food exchange far outweigh them due to broader eating experiences and global cohesion. These advantages can result in more significant social and economic benefits. Exposure to various ingredients from different countries enriches our lives and enhances health conditions. For instance, in some colder countries, it is difficult to grow fruits and vegetables, making imports of tropical products valuable for boosting their immune systems and diversifying their diets. Another concern about the local economy can be mitigated by new opportunities to export their products to international markets, leading to even greater revenues when not being limited to local markets. Take Vietnamese dragon fruits as an example. Thanks to globalization and advancements in transportation, they have been sold in many different countries outside Vietnam and have become a lucrative item, generating income and improving farmers’ living standards.

In conclusion, while some people oppose the long-distance transportation of food due to its negative effects on the environment and economy, I believe the overall benefits, such as culinary diversity and additional markets for local products, which can address economic issues, make it a net positive. Of course, it is necessary to incentivize sustainable practices or explore alternative methods to address its environmental implications to maximize its advantages.