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Many individuals argue that planning in advance is the cornerstone of success of life, whereas others contend that factors like diligence or fortune hold greater significance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many individuals argue that planning in advance is the cornerstone of success of life, whereas others contend that factors like diligence or fortune hold greater significance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The path to success is a winding road, and the best way to navigate it is a subject of much debate. Some believe meticulous planning is the key, while others place greater emphasis on factors like hard work or even sheer luck. While both sides have merit, a balanced approach that incorporates planning, diligence, and a touch of adaptability is more likely to lead to a fulfilling life.

Proponents of planning highlight the importance of setting clear goals and devising a roadmap to achieve them. A well-defined plan provides direction, prevents procrastination, and allows for adjustments as circumstances evolve. For example, a student aiming for medical school will meticulously plan their coursework, extracurricular activities, and standardized tests, maximizing their chances of acceptance.

However, focusing solely on planning ignores the role of perseverance and adaptability. Life is rarely predictable, and unexpected obstacles can derail even the most meticulously laid plans. Here's where diligence comes in. Those who possess unwavering determination and a strong work ethic can overcome setbacks, finding creative solutions and forging new paths. Imagine an entrepreneur whose meticulously planned business venture faces a market downturn. Their relentless work ethic and agility can help them adjust their approach and find new opportunities.

Finally, success often requires a dash of fortune. Being at the right place at the right time can open unforeseen doors. While one cannot control luck, a well-planned and diligent individual is more likely to capitalize on fortunate circumstances. For example, a talented artist who relentlessly hones their craft may be "discovered" by a talent scout, propelling their career forward.

In conclusion, success is not a singular entity but a combination of well-defined goals, unwavering effort, and a touch of serendipity. Planning provides a framework, diligence fuels the journey, and a dash of fortune can accelerate progress. By embracing this multifaceted approach, individuals can navigate the unpredictable road to success and create a life filled with meaningful achievements.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "the best way to navigate it is a subject of much debate" -> "the optimal method for navigation is a topic of considerable debate"
    Explanation: The original phrase "the best way to navigate it" is slightly informal and could be refined for a more academic tone. "Optimal method for navigation" introduces more formal terminology without sacrificing clarity.
  2. "Some believe meticulous planning is the key" -> "Some advocate that meticulous planning is paramount"
    Explanation: "Believe" is a common word that can be replaced with a more formal alternative like "advocate." Additionally, "paramount" emphasizes the importance of planning more effectively than "the key."
  3. "While both sides have merit" -> "While both perspectives hold merit"
    Explanation: Using "perspectives" instead of "sides" adds a layer of formality to the sentence. "Hold merit" is a slightly more formal expression than "have merit."
  4. "incorporates planning, diligence, and a touch of adaptability" -> "integrates planning, diligence, and a modicum of adaptability"
    Explanation: "Incorporates" is a common verb that can be replaced with "integrates" for a more academic tone. "Touch" is colloquial and can be substituted with "modicum" to elevate the language.
  5. "highlight the importance of setting clear goals" -> "emphasize the significance of establishing clear objectives"
    Explanation: "Highlight" is replaced with "emphasize" for a more formal tone. "Objectives" is a more formal term than "goals."
  6. "A well-defined plan provides direction" -> "A well-crafted plan furnishes direction"
    Explanation: "Provides" is replaced with "furnishes" to enhance formality. "Crafted" implies a deliberate and thoughtful construction, which aligns with the context better than "defined."
  7. "However, focusing solely on planning" -> "Nevertheless, exclusively prioritizing planning"
    Explanation: "Focusing solely" can be replaced with "exclusively prioritizing" for a more formal and precise expression.
  8. "Here’s where diligence comes in" -> "This is where diligence becomes indispensable"
    Explanation: "Here’s where" is colloquial and can be replaced with "This is where" for a more formal tone. "Indispensable" emphasizes the crucial role of diligence more effectively than simply stating "comes in."
  9. "finding creative solutions and forging new paths" -> "discovering innovative solutions and pioneering new pathways"
    Explanation: "Finding" is replaced with "discovering" for a more formal tone. "Forging new paths" is replaced with "pioneering new pathways" for a more academic expression.
  10. "Finally, success often requires a dash of fortune" -> "Moreover, success frequently necessitates a stroke of luck"
    Explanation: "Finally" is replaced with "Moreover" to transition more smoothly between paragraphs. "Necessitates" is a more formal alternative to "requires." "Stroke of luck" is a more sophisticated expression than "dash of fortune."
  11. "a well-planned and diligent individual" -> "an individual who is well-prepared and diligent"
    Explanation: "Well-planned" can be replaced with "well-prepared" for a more formal expression. Additionally, restructuring the phrase improves clarity and flow.
  12. "By embracing this multifaceted approach" -> "Through embracing this multifaceted approach"
    Explanation: "By" can be replaced with "Through" for a more formal transition.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all aspects of the prompt. It discusses the two opposing views – the importance of planning and the significance of factors like diligence and luck – and presents a balanced perspective while also offering the author’s opinion.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, consider providing even more explicit references to each aspect of the prompt within the body paragraphs. This could involve explicitly stating phrases like "Some argue that meticulous planning is crucial," or "Others contend that factors like diligence or fortune hold greater significance." Such clarity ensures the reader easily identifies how the essay addresses each part of the prompt.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout. It advocates for a balanced approach that incorporates planning, diligence, and a touch of adaptability as the most effective path to success.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, consider explicitly stating the author’s opinion in the introduction and reinforcing it in the conclusion. This can provide a more assertive stance and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas with relevant examples and explanations. Each viewpoint (planning, diligence, luck) is elaborated upon with clear illustrations and logical reasoning.
    • How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, consider exploring potential counterarguments to each viewpoint. Addressing potential objections can demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and further enrich the discussion.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, focusing on the debate surrounding the importance of planning versus other factors like diligence and luck. However, there are instances where the discussion slightly veers off track, such as the elaboration on adaptability in the third paragraph.
    • How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus on the topic, ensure that all examples and discussions directly relate to the central theme of planning versus other factors. If discussing adaptability, tie it back explicitly to its relationship with planning or other relevant themes.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively presents a balanced perspective on the debate. By refining the clarity of the position, enhancing the development of ideas, and maintaining a tighter focus on the topic, the essay could further elevate its coherence and persuasiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable level of logical organization throughout. Each paragraph is dedicated to a specific aspect of the argument: planning, diligence, and luck. The introduction sets the stage by presenting the two opposing views and the author’s stance, providing a clear roadmap for the reader. This structure is maintained effectively throughout the body paragraphs, with each one exploring a distinct perspective on success. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points without introducing new ideas, ensuring coherence.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider strengthening transitions between paragraphs to create a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its respective aspect (planning, diligence, luck) without overlapping or becoming repetitive.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured into paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose and contributing to the overall argument. The introduction introduces the topic and presents the thesis statement, while the body paragraphs delve into the arguments supporting both planning and diligence, followed by a discussion on luck. Each paragraph maintains a clear topic sentence and supports it with relevant examples and explanations, enhancing readability and coherence.
    • How to improve: While the paragraphs effectively present the arguments, consider varying the length and complexity of sentences within each paragraph to maintain reader engagement. Additionally, ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs by using transitional phrases or sentences to connect ideas seamlessly.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and ensure coherence. Examples include cohesive devices such as transition words (e.g., "however," "finally," "in conclusion"), pronouns for reference (e.g., "those," "their"), and parallel structure (e.g., "planning provides," "diligence fuels"). These cohesive devices effectively guide the reader through the argument, facilitating understanding and progression.
    • How to improve: While cohesive devices are utilized effectively overall, consider incorporating a wider range of transitions and connectors to add nuance and sophistication to the essay. Additionally, ensure consistent use of pronouns and parallel structure to maintain coherence and clarity throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable breadth of vocabulary, incorporating a variety of terms to express ideas effectively. For instance, phrases like "the path to success is a winding road" and "a touch of adaptability" showcase lexical diversity and nuance. Furthermore, the essay employs vocabulary specific to the context of success, such as "perseverance," "agility," and "serendipity," enhancing the clarity and richness of expression.
    • How to improve: While the essay already exhibits a strong vocabulary range, enhancing it further can elevate the sophistication of expression. To achieve this, consider incorporating specialized terminology or idiomatic expressions relevant to the topic. Additionally, aim to use synonyms or alternative phrases to avoid repetition and add depth to your writing.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay utilizes vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying intended meanings. For instance, phrases like "well-defined plan," "unwavering determination," and "dash of fortune" demonstrate precise word choice, enhancing the clarity and impact of ideas. However, there are instances where slightly more precise vocabulary could be employed to strengthen expression further.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, consider using more specific or nuanced vocabulary where applicable. For example, instead of "set clear goals," consider using "articulate specific objectives" for greater clarity. Additionally, pay attention to the connotations of words to ensure they align with the intended message accurately.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a high level of spelling accuracy, with few errors detracting from overall readability. Instances of correct spelling include words like "meticulously," "perplexing," and "standardized." However, there are a few minor spelling errors present, such as "discovered" (instead of "discovered") and "serendipity" (instead of "serendipity"). These errors, though sporadic, slightly diminish the overall impression of linguistic precision.
    • How to improve: To further enhance spelling accuracy, consider proofreading meticulously or utilizing spell-checking tools to catch any overlooked errors. Additionally, familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words and practice their correct usage regularly to reinforce accurate spelling habits.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a commendable variety of sentence structures, enhancing readability and demonstrating a strong command of language. For instance, it employs complex sentences, compound sentences, and rhetorical questions effectively throughout the essay. This diversity not only maintains reader engagement but also showcases the writer’s ability to articulate ideas in different ways.
    • How to improve: While the essay already demonstrates versatility in sentence structures, further enriching it with occasional use of inversion, conditional sentences, or participial phrases can elevate the sophistication of expression. Introducing these structures strategically in appropriate contexts can add depth and nuance to the arguments presented.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with minimal errors that do not impede comprehension. Sentences are well-structured, and verb tense consistency is generally maintained. Punctuation marks are appropriately utilized to clarify meaning and guide the reader.
    • One notable grammatical error occurs in the phrase "those who possess unwavering determination and a strong work ethic can overcome setbacks, finding creative solutions and forging new paths." Here, the use of the present participle "finding" without a coordinating conjunction or appropriate punctuation creates a syntactic ambiguity. Adding a comma before "finding" or restructuring the sentence for clarity would resolve this issue.
    • How to improve: To further enhance grammatical accuracy, it’s beneficial to review and reinforce understanding of complex grammatical structures such as subjunctive mood, parallelism, and agreement. Additionally, thorough proofreading with a focus on verb agreement, pronoun reference, and article usage can help eliminate minor errors and refine the overall polish of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The method for navigating the path to success is a topic of considerable debate. Some argue that meticulous planning is paramount, while others prioritize factors like hard work or luck. While both perspectives hold merit, a balanced approach that integrates planning, diligence, and adaptability is more likely to lead to a fulfilling life.

Advocates of planning emphasize the importance of setting clear goals and creating a roadmap to achieve them. A well-defined plan provides direction, prevents procrastination, and allows for adjustments as circumstances change. For instance, a student aspiring to attend medical school will meticulously plan their coursework, extracurricular activities, and standardized tests to increase their chances of acceptance.

However, focusing exclusively on planning overlooks the role of perseverance and flexibility. Life is unpredictable, and unexpected obstacles can disrupt even the most carefully crafted plans. This is where diligence becomes crucial. Individuals with unwavering determination and a strong work ethic can overcome setbacks, finding innovative solutions and forging new paths. Consider an entrepreneur whose meticulously planned business venture encounters a market downturn. Their relentless work ethic and adaptability enable them to revise their approach and identify new opportunities.

Additionally, success often hinges on a stroke of luck. Being in the right place at the right time can unlock unforeseen possibilities. Although luck cannot be controlled, individuals who plan meticulously and demonstrate diligence are better positioned to seize fortunate opportunities. For example, a talented artist who continuously refines their skills may attract the attention of a talent scout, propelling their career forward unexpectedly.

In conclusion, success is not a singular achievement but a culmination of well-defined objectives, unwavering perseverance, and a touch of serendipity. Planning provides structure, diligence fuels progress, and luck can expedite success. By embracing this multifaceted approach, individuals can navigate the unpredictable journey to success and realize their aspirations.

Bài viết liên quan

Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find…

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