Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is the case? What can be done to attract local people?

Nowadays, many traditional places which have meanings about culture such as museums and historical sites are probably traveled by visitors and not local persons. There are a number of reasons for this trend, which is having many significant impacts on both economy of country and knowledges of local people.
There are two main reasons why the local people are not often visit their culture places including museums and historic sites. First of all, almost of local individuals feel boring and not interested in them due to the fact that they think they has known about them very well. For example, when someone lives in a city, then they probably know all the stress and interesting area in their place so they might not excited about that anymore. However, that is also the reason why the people prefer to viste other places than their one.
The second reason is that the vert hight costs of entrance tickets are not affordable for local people. It is true that economy is the most important reason why some local people can not visit their culture places.
fortunately, there are also some ways to handle these problem and atract more local people. Firstly, we could organize some events in which can be atracted local people. For instance, we might open many interested games such as answering historical questions and who have the correct answer will received the gift. Moreover, we can decrease the costs of entrance tickets in some especial times in oder to be more suitable for local people.
In conclusion, there are several reasons why many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. However, there are still many ways to address this issue.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."
"which have meanings about culture" -> "that hold cultural significance"
Explanation: "That hold cultural significance" is more precise and academically appropriate than "which have meanings about culture," which is vague and informal.
"are probably traveled by" -> "are frequently visited by"
Explanation: "Frequently visited" is a more accurate and formal way to express the frequency of visits, replacing the less formal "probably traveled by."
"not local persons" -> "not by local residents"
Explanation: "Not by local residents" is more specific and formal than "not local persons," which is awkward and less precise.
"which is having many significant impacts" -> "which has significant impacts"
Explanation: "Has" is the correct verb form for the present tense, and "significant impacts" is more concise and formal than "many significant impacts."
"knowledges of local people" -> "knowledge among local residents"
Explanation: "Knowledge among local residents" is grammatically correct and more formal than "knowledges of local people," which is awkward and incorrect.
"almost of local individuals" -> "many local individuals"
Explanation: "Many" is more precise and grammatically correct than "almost of," which is incorrect in this context.
"feel boring and not interested" -> "find them uninteresting"
Explanation: "Find them uninteresting" is a more formal and concise way to express lack of interest, replacing the informal "feel boring and not interested."
"they think they has known about them very well" -> "they believe they are well-versed in them"
Explanation: "Believe they are well-versed in them" is more formal and corrects the grammatical error in "they has known."
"stress and interesting area" -> "interesting and historic areas"
Explanation: "Interesting and historic areas" corrects the awkward and unclear phrase "stress and interesting area," providing clarity and formality.
"the vert hight costs" -> "the very high costs"
Explanation: Corrects the typo "vert hight" to "very high," ensuring proper spelling and clarity.
"not affordable for local people" -> "unaffordable for local residents"
Explanation: "Unaffordable for local residents" is more formal and precise than "not affordable for local people."
"can not visit" -> "cannot visit"
Explanation: "Cannot" is the correct form of the modal verb "can" in negative contexts, making the sentence grammatically correct.
"handle these problem" -> "address these problems"
Explanation: "Address these problems" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "handle these problem," which is grammatically incorrect.
"atract more local people" -> "attract more local residents"
Explanation: "Attract" is the correct spelling, and "local residents" is more formal than "local people."
"who have the correct answer will received the gift" -> "who provide the correct answers will receive the gift"
Explanation: "Provide the correct answers" is grammatically correct and more formal than "have the correct answer," and "receive" is the correct form of the verb.
"decrease the costs of entrance tickets in some especial times" -> "reduce the cost of admission during certain periods"
Explanation: "Reduce the cost of admission during certain periods" is more formal and precise than "decrease the costs of entrance tickets in some especial times."
"be more suitable for local people" -> "be more accessible to local residents"
Explanation: "Be more accessible to local residents" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea of making something suitable for a particular group.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies reasons why local people do not visit museums and historical sites, such as a lack of interest and high entrance fees. The second part of the prompt is also tackled, with suggestions for attracting local visitors, including organizing events and reducing ticket prices. However, the explanations could be more nuanced, as some points are somewhat general and lack depth.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could provide more specific examples or data to support their claims. For instance, citing studies or surveys that show local people’s attitudes towards museums would strengthen the argument. Additionally, elaborating on how the proposed solutions could be implemented would provide a more comprehensive answer.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that local people are not visiting cultural sites and suggests ways to address this issue. However, the position could be more assertively stated in the introduction and conclusion. The transitions between ideas could also be smoother to reinforce the overall argument.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that their stance is explicitly stated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can also help maintain focus and clarity throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the reasons for low local attendance and potential solutions. However, the development of these ideas is sometimes lacking. For example, the explanation of why local people feel bored is somewhat vague and could benefit from more detail. Additionally, the solutions proposed are not fully fleshed out, leaving the reader wanting more information.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. For instance, when discussing events to attract locals, they could describe what types of events have been successful in other contexts or provide more detail on how these events would engage the community.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for low local attendance at museums and historical sites and suggesting ways to improve this situation. However, there are moments where the language becomes unclear or slightly off-topic, such as the phrase "the vert hight costs of entrance tickets," which could confuse readers.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the argument. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors and clarity will help keep the writing on topic and enhance overall readability. It may also be beneficial to outline the essay before writing to ensure that all points are relevant and well-organized.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the topic and states the reasons for the trend of low local visitation to museums and historical sites. The body paragraphs are organized around two main reasons, which helps in maintaining focus. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing local disinterest to economic barriers feels abrupt and could benefit from a more explicit linking sentence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader through your arguments. For example, after discussing local disinterest, you could introduce the economic aspect with a phrase like, "In addition to a lack of interest, economic factors also play a significant role." This would create a more cohesive link between the two reasons.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point. The first body paragraph discusses local disinterest, while the second addresses economic barriers. However, the paragraphs could be more clearly defined. The first paragraph, for example, could be split into two: one focusing on the reasons for disinterest and the other on the implications of this trend.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Additionally, consider using a concluding sentence in each paragraph to summarize the point made and link it to the overall argument. This will enhance clarity and ensure that each paragraph stands alone as a coherent unit.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first of all," "for example," and "however," which help in connecting ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some phrases are used incorrectly or awkwardly, such as "the vert hight costs" and "the stress and interesting area." This can disrupt the flow and clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in contrast," and "consequently." Additionally, ensure that all phrases are grammatically correct and appropriately used. For instance, instead of "the vert hight costs," it should be "the very high costs." Practicing the use of cohesive devices in various contexts will help improve their effectiveness in your writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on smoother transitions, clearer paragraphing, and a broader range of cohesive devices will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use topic-specific terms such as "museums," "historical sites," and "culture." However, the vocabulary is often repetitive and lacks variation, particularly in phrases like "local people" and "cultural places." For instance, the phrase "traditional places which have meanings about culture" is somewhat awkward and could be expressed more succinctly.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "local people," alternatives like "residents," "community members," or "locals" could be employed. Additionally, using more sophisticated terms related to tourism and cultural engagement, such as "cultural heritage" or "community engagement," would elevate the lexical quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "the vert hight costs" instead of "the very high costs," which detracts from clarity. The phrase "the economy of country" is also vague; it should be "the economy of the country." Furthermore, the expression "the people prefer to viste other places than their one" is unclear and grammatically incorrect, leading to confusion about the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on ensuring that vocabulary accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by revising sentences for clarity and correctness. For example, instead of "the people prefer to viste other places than their one," a clearer phrasing would be "people tend to visit other destinations rather than their local attractions." Regular practice with vocabulary exercises and seeking feedback on word choice can also help.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "viste" instead of "visit," "attract" instead of "atrect," "hight" instead of "high," and "especial" instead of "special." These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail and can hinder the overall readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools before submission. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of frequently misspelled words and practicing them can significantly improve spelling skills over time. Engaging in regular writing practice and reviewing vocabulary can also reinforce correct spelling.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and attempts to use relevant vocabulary, improvements in range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource. Focusing on these areas will not only enhance the quality of the writing but also improve overall communication effectiveness.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that can enhance clarity and engagement. For example, the sentence "There are two main reasons why the local people are not often visit their culture places including museums and historic sites" is awkwardly constructed and could benefit from a more complex structure. Additionally, the use of phrases like "almost of local individuals feel boring" indicates a reliance on basic structures, which detracts from the overall sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences, such as those that include subordinate clauses or varied conjunctions. For instance, instead of saying "the local people are not often visit their culture places," the writer could say, "the local people often do not visit their cultural sites, primarily because they believe they are already familiar with them." This not only adds complexity but also improves clarity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder comprehension. For instance, "the fact that they think they has known about them very well" contains a subject-verb agreement error ("has" should be "have"). Additionally, the phrase "the vert hight costs of entrance tickets" contains a spelling error ("vert" should be "very" and "hight" should be "high"). Punctuation is also inconsistent; for example, there are missing commas that could help clarify the meaning of sentences, such as before "which is having many significant impacts on both economy of country and knowledges of local people."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, pluralization, and correct word forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for spelling and punctuation errors before submission can help catch mistakes that may have been overlooked during writing.

Overall, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their grammatical range by incorporating more varied sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy through careful proofreading and practice.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, many traditional places that hold cultural significance, such as museums and historical sites, are mainly visited by tourists and not by local residents. There are a number of reasons for this trend, which has significant impacts on both the economy of the country and the knowledge among local residents.

There are two main reasons why local people do not often visit their cultural places, including museums and historic sites. First of all, most local individuals find them uninteresting due to the fact that they believe they are well-versed in them. For example, when someone lives in a city, they probably know all the streets and interesting areas in their place, so they might not be excited about that anymore. However, this is also the reason why people prefer to visit other places rather than their own.

The second reason is that the very high costs of entrance tickets are unaffordable for local residents. It is true that the economy is the most important reason why some local people cannot visit their cultural places.

Fortunately, there are also some ways to address these problems and attract more local residents. Firstly, we could organize some events that can attract local people. For instance, we might open many interesting games, such as answering historical questions, and those who provide the correct answers will receive a gift. Moreover, we can reduce the cost of admission during certain periods in order to be more accessible to local residents.

In conclusion, there are several reasons why many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. However, there are still many ways to address this issue.