Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. Why is this? What can be done to attract local people?

There is a growing trend that the main visitors of many historical and cultural relics are mostly tourists rather than people living there. This essay aims to point out the reasons attributing to this phenomenon and also propose some possible solutions so as to draw local people's attention.
The two primary drivers for this trend are individuals' inclination to be attracted to unfamiliar places and the possibility of having already visited such places before. First and foremost, people usually have the tendency to long to explore or visit places that are faraway or somehow new to them. A plausible explanation for this may be that they assume that the cultures at other locations are strikingly different from what they have experienced. Another pertinent point is that owing to the near distances, people may have already come to the nearby relics a couple of times and known the whole sites inside out so they are not interested and do not feel the need to come back there again. Consequently, most of the visitors going sightseeing at those places are travelers.
With a view to boost natives' participation, some measures have to be taken seriously by the government. Initially, governments should take heed to promoting the heritage sites with different activities. To be specific, they can launch several schemes with games or have tour guides explain about the historic events. On top of that, they should reduce the entrance fee for the local inhabitants by around 20%-35% after checking the information about their living places. By doing those, not only the sightseers but also the natives will pay attention and be incentivized to come to the cultural and historical sites.
To conclude, there is a phenomenon that heritages are normally visited by tourists rather than the local residents. The major underlying reasons for this are people's curiosity about alien places as well as the fact that they may have come to their nearby sites several times. Therefore, governments need to make efforts to promote the historical places and cut down on the entrance fee so as to attract more natives coming there.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There is a growing trend that" -> "There is a growing trend that the main visitors of many historical and cultural relics are mostly tourists rather than people living there."
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and lacks clarity. The revised version clarifies the subject and predicate, making the sentence more direct and formal.
"This essay aims to point out the reasons attributing to this phenomenon" -> "This essay aims to identify the factors contributing to this phenomenon"
Explanation: "Point out the reasons attributing to" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Identify the factors contributing to" is grammatically correct and more precise.
"so as to draw local people’s attention" -> "to encourage local engagement"
Explanation: "Draw local people’s attention" is somewhat informal and vague. "Encourage local engagement" is more specific and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"individuals’ inclination to be attracted to unfamiliar places" -> "individuals’ propensity to visit unfamiliar places"
Explanation: "Inclination to be attracted to" is verbose and awkward. "Propensity to visit" is more concise and maintains the formal tone.
"the possibility of having already visited such places before" -> "the likelihood of having previously visited such places"
Explanation: "Possibility" is less specific than "likelihood," which is more appropriate for academic writing. "Previously" is also more formal than "already."
"people usually have the tendency to long to explore or visit" -> "people often have a desire to explore or visit"
Explanation: "Tendency to long to" is incorrect and unclear. "Desire to explore or visit" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"A plausible explanation for this may be that" -> "One possible explanation is that"
Explanation: "A plausible explanation for this may be that" is unnecessarily verbose and informal. "One possible explanation is that" is concise and maintains an academic tone.
"owing to the near distances" -> "due to their proximity"
Explanation: "Owing to the near distances" is awkward and unclear. "Due to their proximity" is more direct and formal.
"they are not interested and do not feel the need to come back there again" -> "they lack interest and do not feel compelled to revisit"
Explanation: "Are not interested and do not feel the need to come back there again" is verbose and informal. "Lack interest and do not feel compelled to revisit" is more concise and formal.
"some measures have to be taken seriously by the government" -> "certain measures must be implemented by the government"
Explanation: "Have to be taken seriously" is informal and vague. "Must be implemented" is more direct and formal.
"take heed to promoting" -> "prioritize promoting"
Explanation: "Take heed to" is an idiom and less formal. "Prioritize" is straightforward and appropriate for academic writing.
"launch several schemes with games or have tour guides explain about the historic events" -> "introduce various programs featuring games or provide guided tours highlighting historical events"
Explanation: "Launch several schemes with games or have tour guides explain about" is awkward and informal. "Introduce various programs featuring games or provide guided tours highlighting" is more precise and formal.
"reduce the entrance fee for the local inhabitants by around 20%-35%" -> "reduce the entrance fee for local residents by 20%-35%"
Explanation: "For the local inhabitants" is redundant. "For local residents" is more concise and appropriate.
"By doing those" -> "By implementing these measures"
Explanation: "By doing those" is informal and unclear. "By implementing these measures" is grammatically correct and formal.
"not only the sightseers but also the natives will pay attention and be incentivized to come to the cultural and historical sites" -> "both sightseers and locals will be motivated to visit the cultural and historical sites"
Explanation: "Not only the sightseers but also the natives" is awkwardly phrased. "Both sightseers and locals" is clearer and more formal. "Will pay attention and be incentivized" is replaced with "will be motivated" for a more academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies reasons why tourists predominantly visit museums and historical sites, such as the allure of unfamiliarity and the familiarity of local sites. The second part of the prompt is also addressed with practical suggestions for attracting local visitors, including promotional activities and reduced entrance fees. The essay clearly delineates these points, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could provide more specific examples or case studies of successful initiatives that have attracted local visitors to similar sites. Additionally, discussing the potential impact of these measures on local communities could deepen the analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, arguing that tourists are the primary visitors to cultural sites and suggesting viable solutions to engage locals. The use of phrases like "this essay aims to point out" and "with a view to boost natives’ participation" reinforces the writer’s stance. However, the conclusion could be more assertive in summarizing the position taken.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the conclusion could reiterate the main arguments more emphatically. Using a more definitive statement about the importance of local engagement could enhance the overall impact.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, with the reasons for the trend and proposed solutions logically structured. The points about curiosity and prior familiarity are well-articulated, and the suggestions for government action are relevant and actionable. However, some ideas could benefit from further elaboration. For instance, the mention of "games" in the proposed activities lacks detail on how these would specifically attract locals.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer could provide more detailed explanations of the proposed activities, perhaps by describing specific types of events or programs that have proven successful in other contexts. This would not only extend the ideas but also provide stronger support for the recommendations.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the reasons for the trend of tourist visits and the measures to attract locals. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the argument stays relevant to the prompt. The organization of the essay aids in maintaining this focus.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next could enhance coherence. Using linking phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs would help maintain the flow and reinforce the central argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates ideas. With minor adjustments in elaboration and conclusion strength, it could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s intent. The body paragraphs are organized around two main ideas: the reasons for the trend of tourists visiting museums and historical sites, and the proposed solutions to attract local people. However, the transition between the reasons and solutions could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the reasons to suggesting solutions feels abrupt and could benefit from a linking sentence that connects these two sections more explicitly.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument. For instance, after discussing the reasons, a sentence like "In light of these factors, it is essential to explore how local engagement can be increased" could serve as a bridge to the solutions section.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the topic. However, the first body paragraph could be further divided into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the tourists’ curiosity and the other on locals’ familiarity with the sites. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve clarity.
- How to improve: Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones when discussing multiple ideas. Each paragraph should ideally contain one main idea supported by examples or explanations. For instance, the first body paragraph could be split after the sentence discussing tourists’ curiosity, allowing for a focused discussion on locals’ familiarity in the subsequent paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "another pertinent point," and "on top of that." These phrases help to connect ideas within paragraphs. However, there is a tendency to rely on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive. For example, the phrase "people may have already come to the nearby relics a couple of times" could be rephrased to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using alternatives like "furthermore," "in addition," or "consequently" can enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, consider using more complex structures, such as "not only… but also" to create more sophisticated connections between sentences and ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, there are opportunities for improvement in logical transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of clarity and effectiveness.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "historical and cultural relics," "phenomenon," and "curiosity about alien places." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "local people" and "tourists," which could be varied to enhance the richness of the language. For instance, using synonyms like "residents" or "inhabitants" for "local people" and "travelers" or "visitors" for "tourists" could improve the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises focused on academic writing can help diversify word choice. Additionally, incorporating more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could add depth to the writing.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys its ideas clearly, there are instances where vocabulary usage could be more precise. For example, the phrase "the possibility of having already visited such places before" is somewhat vague and could be more directly stated as "local residents may have visited these sites multiple times." Furthermore, the term "boost natives’ participation" could be more clearly expressed as "increase local residents’ engagement."
- How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and specificity in word choice. Practicing paraphrasing sentences to find more precise expressions can be beneficial. Additionally, reviewing the essay for ambiguous phrases and replacing them with clearer alternatives will enhance the overall precision of vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a good level of spelling accuracy, with no significant errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "heritages" which is not commonly used in this context; "heritage sites" would be more appropriate. The phrase "the major underlying reasons for this are people’s curiosity about alien places" could also be misinterpreted, as "alien" may suggest something more extreme than intended.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully or use spell-check tools. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly used terms in academic writing can help avoid misused or awkward terms. Regular practice with spelling exercises and reading academic texts can also reinforce correct spelling.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on expanding vocabulary, enhancing precision, and ensuring correct spelling will help elevate the Lexical Resource score in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional phrases. For example, the use of "First and foremost, people usually have the tendency to long to explore or visit places that are faraway or somehow new to them" showcases a complex sentence structure with multiple clauses. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and structures, such as the frequent use of "people" and "the government," which can lead to a monotonous reading experience.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use different grammatical forms. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "people" or "the government," the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses, such as "In many cases," or "To address this issue," to create a more engaging flow. Additionally, integrating passive voice or different conjunctions could diversify the sentence structures further.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "the main visitors of many historical and cultural relics are mostly tourists" could be more succinctly expressed as "the main visitors to many historical and cultural sites are primarily tourists." There are also some punctuation issues, such as the lack of commas in complex sentences, which could improve clarity. For instance, in the sentence "Another pertinent point is that owing to the near distances, people may have already come to the nearby relics a couple of times and known the whole sites inside out so they are not interested and do not feel the need to come back there again," a comma before "so" would enhance readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and appropriate article usage. Practicing sentence combining and breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones can also help clarify meaning. Furthermore, paying attention to punctuation rules, particularly with conjunctions and clauses, will enhance the overall clarity of the writing. Engaging in targeted grammar exercises can also be beneficial in addressing specific weaknesses.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The two primary drivers for this trend are individuals’ inclination to be attracted to unfamiliar places and the likelihood of having previously visited such places. First and foremost, people usually have the tendency to long to explore or visit places that are far away or somehow new to them. A plausible explanation for this may be that they assume that the cultures at other locations are strikingly different from what they have experienced. Another pertinent point is that, due to their proximity, people may have already visited the nearby relics a couple of times and know the whole sites inside out, so they lack interest and do not feel compelled to revisit. Consequently, most of the visitors going sightseeing at those places are travelers.

With a view to boosting natives’ participation, some measures must be implemented by the government. Initially, governments should prioritize promoting the heritage sites with different activities. To be specific, they can launch several programs featuring games or have tour guides explain historical events. On top of that, they should reduce the entrance fee for local residents by around 20%-35% after checking the information about their living places. By implementing these measures, both sightseers and locals will be motivated to visit the cultural and historical sites.

To conclude, there is a phenomenon that heritage sites are normally visited by tourists rather than local residents. The major underlying reasons for this are people’s curiosity about unfamiliar places as well as the fact that they may have visited their nearby sites several times. Therefore, governments need to make efforts to promote the historical places and reduce the entrance fee to attract more locals.