Many people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others suggest it will cause stress in the home. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The world are developing extremely fast, the human’s life is becoming more convince. As a reason, following are established. But it not only bring more advantages for employers and employs but can bring disadvantages as well.

Working remotely from home instead working at the office could allow employees and employers work flexible. Instead of getting up early to get to office, employees working from home can table more time to sleep and prepare some funny situation – when people work at office, they have to wear formal suit from head to cut and shot. As a result, at home, some people just wear but, wear but, wear shortly. No employers will full of energy and will more comfortable and work with boss that means they will be comfortable for decrease of stress and pressure, and it will create more profit for their company or their office.

But everything always has other side. The disadvantage of working in employers will lack of motivation and inspiration. In other works, when employers and employers working from home, they can wages them to done their work, and it will delay the process. Of comparison, besides working from home can be delayed by internet condition. For instance, If the internet be cut out. Employees cannot send their work to boss. It will lead to cutting on their salary. Moreover, when people lack of motivation they can not create and invent any ideas.

In conclusion will depend on people view. The advantage and the disadvantages will depend on employers. But for me, it will bring more advantages than disadvantages.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The world are developing extremely fast" -> "The world is developing rapidly"
Explanation: The subject "world" should be singular to agree with the singular verb "is," and "rapidly" is more precise and formal than "extremely fast."
"the human’s life is becoming more convince" -> "human life is becoming more convenient"
Explanation: "Convenience" is the correct noun form, and the phrase should be "human life" rather than "the human’s life" for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"following are established" -> "the following are established"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "following" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence more formal and precise.
"But it not only bring more advantages for employers and employs" -> "However, it not only brings more advantages for employers and employees"
Explanation: "However" is a more formal transition than "But," and "employees" is the correct plural form. "Brings" should match the singular subject "it."
"can bring disadvantages as well" -> "can also bring disadvantages"
Explanation: "Also" is more appropriate in formal academic writing than "as well" when listing additional points.
"Working remotely from home instead working at the office" -> "Working remotely from home rather than at the office"
Explanation: "Rather than" is more formal and correct than "instead working," which is awkwardly phrased.
"employees and employers work flexible" -> "employees and employers can work flexibly"
Explanation: "Can work flexibly" is grammatically correct and more precise, and "flexible" should be modified by "flexibly" for adverbial agreement.
"table more time to sleep" -> "have more time to sleep"
Explanation: "Table" is incorrect here; "have" is the correct verb for expressing possession or availability of time.
"prepare some funny situation" -> "prepare for various situations"
Explanation: "Prepare for various situations" is clearer and more formal than "prepare some funny situation," which is vague and informal.
"wear but, wear but, wear shortly" -> "wear casual attire, wear minimal attire, and wear informal attire"
Explanation: This clarifies the meaning and provides a more precise description of the types of clothing.
"No employers will full of energy" -> "Employers will be full of energy"
Explanation: "No employers" is incorrect; "Employers" should be used to refer to the group. "Will be" is the correct auxiliary verb form.
"will more comfortable" -> "will be more comfortable"
Explanation: "Will be" is grammatically correct, and "more comfortable" should be "be more comfortable" for correct verb agreement.
"it will create more profit for their company or their office" -> "it will increase profits for their company or office"
Explanation: "Increase profits" is more precise and formal than "create more profit," and "office" should not be possessive.
"The disadvantage of working in employers" -> "The disadvantages of working for employers"
Explanation: "Disadvantages" should be plural to match the plural subject "working," and "for" is the correct preposition.
"can wages them to done their work" -> "can delay their work"
Explanation: "Can delay their work" is more direct and clear than the awkward and incorrect "can wages them to done their work."
"besides working from home can be delayed by internet condition" -> "working from home can be delayed due to internet connectivity issues"
Explanation: "Due to internet connectivity issues" is more specific and formal than "internet condition."
"If the internet be cut out" -> "If the internet connection is cut off"
Explanation: "Is cut off" is grammatically correct and more formal than "be cut out," which is awkward and incorrect.
"Employees cannot send their work to boss" -> "Employees cannot send their work to their boss"
Explanation: "Their" is necessary for possessive agreement, and "boss" should be "their boss" for grammatical correctness.
"It will lead to cutting on their salary" -> "This will lead to a reduction in their salary"
Explanation: "A reduction in their salary" is a more formal and precise phrase than "cutting on their salary," which is colloquial and unclear.
"when people lack of motivation they can not create and invent any ideas" -> "when individuals lack motivation, they cannot create or invent new ideas"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "cannot create or invent new ideas" is grammatically correct and clearer than the original phrase.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument regarding the benefits and drawbacks of working from home. However, the discussion is somewhat superficial and lacks depth. For instance, while it mentions flexibility and comfort as advantages, it does not provide a comprehensive exploration of how these factors impact workers and their families. Similarly, the disadvantages mentioned, such as lack of motivation and potential internet issues, are not sufficiently elaborated upon or supported with examples.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each side of the argument is explored in greater detail. This could involve providing specific examples or statistics that illustrate the benefits and drawbacks of remote work. Additionally, the writer should aim to clearly articulate the implications of these points for both workers and their families.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a personal opinion in the conclusion, stating that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, this position is not consistently reinforced throughout the essay. The initial paragraphs discuss both sides but do not clearly indicate the writer’s stance until the end, which may confuse readers regarding the overall perspective.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should state their opinion earlier in the essay, perhaps in the introduction, and then refer back to this position when discussing both sides. This will help create a cohesive argument that guides the reader through the discussion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are often vague and lack sufficient support. For example, the claim that working from home allows for more comfort is mentioned, but it is not backed by any concrete examples or explanations. The discussion on disadvantages also lacks depth, as it does not explore how these issues affect productivity or employee well-being.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on developing each idea more fully. This could include providing specific examples, such as studies showing productivity levels in remote work versus office work, or personal anecdotes that illustrate the points being made. Additionally, using clear and logical reasoning to connect ideas will strengthen the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the pros and cons of working from home. However, there are moments of ambiguity and unclear phrasing that may distract from the main argument. For instance, phrases like "funny situation" and "will depend on people view" are vague and do not contribute meaningfully to the discussion.
- How to improve: To improve focus, the writer should avoid vague language and ensure that every sentence contributes directly to the argument. Clear, concise language will help maintain the reader’s attention and enhance the overall clarity of the essay.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim for greater depth in discussing both sides of the argument, maintain a clear position throughout the essay, support ideas with specific examples, and use clear and concise language to stay focused on the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general structure, but the organization of information is inconsistent. For instance, the introduction attempts to outline both sides of the argument but lacks clarity and coherence. The transition between discussing advantages and disadvantages is abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. The points made are often jumbled together without clear connections, such as the shift from discussing flexibility to clothing choices, which feels disjointed.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer should clearly outline the main points in the introduction and follow a structured approach. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, introduced with a clear topic sentence. For example, one paragraph could discuss the benefits of remote work, followed by a paragraph dedicated to the disadvantages, with clear transitions between them.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks effective paragraphing. While there are attempts to separate ideas, the paragraphs are not well-defined. For instance, the first paragraph mixes several ideas about advantages without clearly separating them into distinct points. The second paragraph also combines multiple disadvantages without a clear structure, making it challenging for the reader to identify the main arguments.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer should ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. For example, the first paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on flexibility and comfort, and the other on the potential for increased productivity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices, which affects the overall coherence. Phrases like "as a result" and "but everything always has other side" are used, but they are often incorrectly applied or lack variety. The essay does not effectively use linking words to connect ideas smoothly, leading to a choppy reading experience.
- How to improve: To enhance the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "on the other hand," "in addition," and "consequently." These devices can help clarify relationships between ideas and improve the flow of the essay. Practicing the use of these devices in context can help the writer become more comfortable with their application.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt, it requires significant improvements in organization, paragraphing, and the use of cohesive devices to achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion. Focusing on these areas will greatly enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt to use varied vocabulary, such as "working remotely," "flexible," and"motivation." However, the range is limited, and many phrases are repetitive or incorrectly used. For instance, the phrase "bring more advantages for employers and employs" lacks variety and contains a spelling error ("employs" should be "employees"). Additionally, the use of "funny situation" is vague and does not convey a clear meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more specific terms. For example, instead of repeating "working from home," alternatives like "remote work" or "telecommuting" could be used. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises could help in this regard.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "the world are developing" should be "the world is developing," and "bring disadvantages as well" is vague. The phrase "some people just wear but, wear but, wear shortly" is confusing and lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. For instance, instead of "funny situation," they could describe specific scenarios that illustrate their point. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy will help in ensuring that word choices align with standard usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains multiple spelling errors, such as "convenience" (written as "convince"), "employers" (incorrectly used as "employs"), and "cut out" (which should be "cut off" in this context). These errors detract from the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should practice spelling common words and phrases relevant to the topic. Utilizing spell-check tools or writing out words multiple times can reinforce correct spelling. Additionally, reading the essay aloud can help catch errors that might be overlooked during silent reading.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates some understanding of the topic and attempts to use varied vocabulary, significant improvements are needed in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt at varied sentence structures, but the range is limited. For example, simple sentences like "The world are developing extremely fast" and "In conclusion will depend on people view" are prevalent. There are a few compound sentences, such as "But everything always has other side," but they often lack complexity and clarity. The use of phrases like "working remotely from home" shows an attempt at more complex structures, but overall, the essay relies heavily on basic constructions.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences. This can be achieved by using subordinate clauses (e.g., "Although working from home has its benefits, it can also lead to a lack of motivation") and varying sentence beginnings. Additionally, using different conjunctions and transitional phrases can help create a more sophisticated flow in writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, "The world are developing" should be "The world is developing," and "the human’s life is becoming more convince" is incorrect; it should be "the human life is becoming more convenient." There are also punctuation errors, such as missing commas and periods, which disrupt the flow of the text. The phrase "but can bring disadvantages as well" lacks clarity and proper conjunction usage, leading to confusion.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement (e.g., "the world is" instead of "the world are") and correct word forms (e.g., "convenient" instead of "convince"). Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that each sentence is complete and clear will enhance overall readability. Utilizing tools like grammar checkers can also help identify mistakes before submission.

Overall, while the essay presents some relevant ideas, significant improvements in grammatical range, accuracy, and sentence structure are necessary to achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The world is developing extremely fast, and human life is becoming more convenient. As a result, the following are established. However, it not only brings more advantages for employers and employees but can also bring disadvantages as well.

Working remotely from home rather than at the office could allow employees and employers to work flexibly. Instead of getting up early to get to the office, employees working from home can take more time to sleep and prepare for various situations. When people work at the office, they have to wear formal suits from head to toe. As a result, at home, some people just wear casual attire, wear minimal attire, or wear informal attire. Employers will be full of energy and will be more comfortable working with their boss, which means they will feel less stress and pressure, and it will create more profit for their company or office.

But everything always has another side. The disadvantages of working for employers can include a lack of motivation and inspiration. In other words, when employers and employees are working from home, they can delay their work. Additionally, working from home can be delayed due to internet connectivity issues. For instance, if the internet connection is cut off, employees cannot send their work to their boss. This will lead to a reduction in their salary. Moreover, when people lack motivation, they cannot create or invent new ideas.

In conclusion, it will depend on people’s views. The advantages and disadvantages will depend on employers. But for me, it will bring more advantages than disadvantages.