many people argue that in other to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism their teachers. Others ,however, think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
many people argue that in other to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism their teachers. Others ,however, think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a common view that encouraging students to make complaints or criticizing their teachers, can enhance the quality of education. While other section of society believe that it will reduce the studier's respect for trainners and the lack of discipline in the educational environment. The author of this essay demontrates that schoolchild are able to evaluate their supervisors is a posible solution to increase the effect of educational systems due to the enhancement of communication between teachers and students, also prevent irresponsible teachers from becoming ignoring them learners. Despite of serious consequence when students take full profit from this policy for personal purpose,must also be considered.
Perhaps the most compelling argument is the trainner's insight about thier own students help they flexibly change their teaching methods to live up to their leaner's ablility. Supervisors can find drawbacks in their teaching style via studier's responds. For instance, many teachers can not realize their simple mistakes when teaching knowledge for students were they not to remind by someone else, morover, should studiers experess for the trainner thier misunderstand about the lesson that teachers can teach that lectures another time in more suitable way with them. As a result, when the coloration between teachers and studiers rise in the learning time, the outcomes have a significantly increase effect.
Conversely, some student's academic results could not rightly express them ownners ability suppose schoolchild took full advantage from evaluate-teacher-policy for indecent reasons. Additonally, a section of leaners assess thier supervisors based on thier own feelings and preferences instead of these trainner's contributions and teaching techniques. Although it might be true, but not except situations that teachers who recieved a large number of negative esponds, had been not working by their heart.
Another point view is that it is a effective warning for the irresponsible trainners. Should students who have unwell results due to the lack of attention from the teacher report their supervisors to higher seniors. Therefor, trainners must forcus on all their students and not only prioritise good studiers.
To sum up, both supervisors and leaners should be encouraged to evaluate each other for contribution and enhancement which can lead to the better outcomes.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"encouraging students to make complaints or criticizing their teachers" -> "encouraging students to submit complaints or provide constructive criticism to their teachers"
Explanation: "Make complaints" is somewhat informal and vague; "submit complaints" and "provide constructive criticism" are more precise and formal, fitting the academic context better. -
"other section of society" -> "other segments of society"
Explanation: "Section" is not typically used to refer to groups within society; "segments" is a more appropriate term for describing distinct parts of a larger whole. -
"studier’s respect for trainners" -> "students’ respect for teachers"
Explanation: "Studier" is a typo and should be "students." Also, "trainners" is incorrect; "teachers" is the correct term. -
"lack of discipline in the educational environment" -> "lack of discipline within the educational environment"
Explanation: "In" is more appropriate than "on" when referring to a condition within a place or situation. -
"schoolchild are able to evaluate their supervisors" -> "students are able to evaluate their teachers"
Explanation: "Schoolchild" is not a standard term; "students" is the correct term. Also, "supervisors" is less common in educational contexts; "teachers" is more typical. -
"posible solution" -> "possible solution"
Explanation: "Posible" is a spelling error; "possible" is the correct spelling. -
"increase the effect of educational systems" -> "enhance the effectiveness of educational systems"
Explanation: "Increase the effect" is somewhat informal and vague; "enhance the effectiveness" is more precise and formal. -
"ignoring them learners" -> "ignoring their students"
Explanation: "Them learners" is grammatically incorrect; "their students" is the correct possessive form. -
"take full profit from this policy for personal purpose" -> "exploit this policy for personal gain"
Explanation: "Take full profit" is informal and slightly awkward; "exploit" and "personal gain" are more precise and formal. -
"trainner’s insight about thier own students help they flexibly change" -> "teachers’ insights about their own students help them flexibly adapt"
Explanation: "Trainner" is a typo; "teachers" is correct. "Thier" is a typo; "their" is the correct possessive form. "Help they" is grammatically incorrect; "help them" is correct. -
"morover" -> "moreover"
Explanation: "Morover" is a typo; "moreover" is the correct word. -
"should studiers experess for the trainner thier misunderstand" -> "students should express their misunderstandings to the teacher"
Explanation: "Studiers" is a typo; "students" is correct. "Experess" is a typo; "express" is correct. "Thier" is a typo; "their" is correct. "Trainner" is a typo; "teacher" is correct. -
"the coloration between teachers and studiers rise" -> "the communication between teachers and students improves"
Explanation: "Coloration" is not the correct term; "communication" is appropriate for describing interactions between teachers and students. "Rise" is not the correct verb; "improves" is more accurate. -
"the outcomes have a significantly increase effect" -> "the outcomes have a significantly enhanced effect"
Explanation: "Increase effect" is grammatically incorrect; "enhanced effect" is correct and more formal. -
"student’s academic results could not rightly express them ownners ability" -> "students’ academic results do not accurately reflect their abilities"
Explanation: "Could not rightly express them ownners ability" is awkward and grammatically incorrect; "do not accurately reflect their abilities" is clearer and more formal. -
"Additonally" -> "Additionally"
Explanation: "Additonally" is a spelling error; "Additionally" is the correct word. -
"leaners assess thier supervisors" -> "learners assess their supervisors"
Explanation: "Leaners" is a typo; "learners" is correct. "Thier" is a typo; "their" is correct. -
"trainners who recieved a large number of negative esponds" -> "teachers who received a large number of negative responses"
Explanation: "Trainners" is a typo; "teachers" is correct. "Recieved" is a typo; "received" is correct. "Esponds" is a typo; "responses" is correct. -
"forcus on all their students" -> "focus on all their students"
Explanation: "Forcus" is a typo; "focus" is correct. -
"not except situations" -> "except in exceptional situations"
Explanation: "Not except" is grammatically incorrect; "except in exceptional situations" is correct and formal.
These changes aim to enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay while maintaining readability.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding whether students should be encouraged to criticize their teachers and provides the author’s opinion. The first part discusses the potential benefits of student feedback, such as improved communication and teaching methods. The second part acknowledges the risks of disrespect and loss of discipline. However, the discussion could be more balanced, as the argument in favor of criticism is more developed than the counterargument.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could provide more specific examples and elaboration on the negative consequences of student criticism. This would ensure a more balanced discussion of both perspectives, allowing for a deeper exploration of the implications of each view.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that supports the idea of encouraging student feedback. However, the clarity of the position is occasionally undermined by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, which can confuse the reader. For instance, phrases like "the coloration between teachers and studiers rise" are unclear and detract from the overall argument.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the author should focus on refining their language and ensuring that each point directly supports their stance. Clear topic sentences and concluding statements for each paragraph can help reinforce the main argument throughout the essay.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the benefits of communication and the need for accountability among teachers. However, the development of these ideas is sometimes superficial, lacking sufficient detail and examples. For instance, the point about teachers not realizing their mistakes could be expanded with specific scenarios or studies that illustrate this phenomenon.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the author should aim to include more concrete examples and evidence. This could involve referencing studies on teacher feedback or providing anecdotal evidence from educational settings. Additionally, ensuring that each idea is fully explored before moving to the next will strengthen the overall argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the implications of student feedback on educational quality. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, particularly when discussing the consequences of negative feedback without clearly linking it back to the main argument. For example, the mention of "indecent reasons" for student evaluations could be better connected to the overall discussion of respect and discipline.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each paragraph clearly ties back to the main question. Using transitional phrases that link back to the prompt can help keep the discussion relevant. Additionally, outlining the essay before writing can help in organizing thoughts and ensuring that all points are directly related to the topic.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments, improvements in balance, clarity, support, and focus will enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the two opposing views. Each paragraph addresses a specific argument, which helps in maintaining a logical flow. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of student feedback on teaching methods, while the second body paragraph presents the potential drawbacks of such feedback. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, as some points feel abruptly introduced without adequate context.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis statement. Additionally, ensure that each point flows naturally into the next by using transitional phrases like "Furthermore," "In contrast," or "For example," which can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph generally focuses on a single aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs are overly long and contain multiple ideas that could be split into separate paragraphs. For instance, the first body paragraph could be divided to separately address the benefits of student feedback and the potential consequences of misusing this feedback.
- How to improve: Aim for a more balanced paragraph structure by ensuring that each paragraph contains one main idea. This can be achieved by breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones, each with a clear focus. This will not only improve readability but also allow for more in-depth exploration of each point.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for instance" and "to sum up," which help in linking ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be more explicit. For example, the phrase "Despite of serious consequence" lacks clarity and could be better connected to the preceding sentence.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Moreover," "Consequently," or "On the other hand" to create clearer connections between ideas. Additionally, ensure that all cohesive devices are used correctly; for example, "Despite serious consequences" would be a more appropriate phrasing than "Despite of serious consequence."
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, there are areas for improvement in organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. By focusing on these aspects, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to a better band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, such as "complaints," "evaluate," "enhance," and "contributions." However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly with the use of terms like "trainner" (trainer) and "studiers" (students). Additionally, some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as "the coloration between teachers and studiers rise," which detracts from the overall fluency of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "trainner," alternatives like "educator" or "instructor" could be employed. Furthermore, exploring phrases that convey similar meanings, such as "foster communication" instead of "enhance communication," would improve lexical variety.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "the lack of discipline in the educational environment," which could be more accurately expressed as "a decline in discipline." The phrase "students take full profit from this policy" is also awkward; "take full advantage" would be more appropriate. Additionally, terms like "schoolchild" and "leaners" are not standard and may confuse readers.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using established terms and phrases that are commonly accepted in academic writing. Reviewing vocabulary lists or resources that focus on academic English can help in selecting more precise words. Furthermore, proofreading for clarity and appropriateness of word choice would enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains multiple spelling errors, such as "demontrates" (demonstrates), "thier" (their), "forcus" (focus), and "esponds" (responds). These errors not only affect the readability of the essay but also detract from the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy that includes reading the essay aloud, using spell-check tools, and possibly enlisting a peer to review the work. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Engaging with spelling exercises or apps designed to improve spelling skills may also help in reducing errors in future essays.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of the topic and attempts to engage with a range of vocabulary, significant improvements in lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as the use of complex sentences ("the author of this essay demonstrates that schoolchild are able to evaluate their supervisors is a possible solution to increase the effect of educational systems"). However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences being either overly complex or poorly constructed, leading to confusion. For example, phrases like "must also be considered" lack a clear subject and verb, which diminishes clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, breaking down overly complex sentences into simpler ones can improve clarity. Additionally, incorporating more varied conjunctions and transition phrases could help in creating smoother connections between ideas.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder comprehension. For example, "trainners" is consistently misspelled as "trainers," and "studier’s" should be "students’." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "schoolchild are able" (should be "schoolchildren are able"). Punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma in "complaints or criticizing their teachers, can enhance," disrupt the flow of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plurals. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help reinforce these concepts. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors before submission can significantly enhance clarity. Utilizing tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers can also help identify and correct mistakes.
Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas, the grammatical inaccuracies and limited range of structures significantly impact the overall quality. Focusing on these areas will lead to a more coherent and effective essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
There is a common view that encouraging students to submit complaints or provide constructive criticism to their teachers can enhance the quality of education. While other segments of society believe that this practice will reduce students’ respect for teachers and lead to a lack of discipline within the educational environment, this essay will demonstrate that allowing students to evaluate their teachers is a possible solution to improve the effectiveness of educational systems. This approach can enhance communication between teachers and students and prevent irresponsible teachers from ignoring their learners. However, it is essential to consider the serious consequences that may arise when students exploit this policy for personal gain.
Perhaps the most compelling argument is that teachers’ insights about their own students help them flexibly adapt their teaching methods to meet learners’ abilities. Educators can identify drawbacks in their teaching style through students’ feedback. For instance, many teachers may not realize their simple mistakes when conveying knowledge unless reminded by someone else. Moreover, when students express their misunderstandings to the teacher, it allows the educator to present the material in a more suitable way. As a result, when communication between teachers and students improves, the outcomes have a significantly enhanced effect.
Conversely, some students’ academic results may not accurately reflect their abilities if they take full advantage of the evaluate-teacher policy for inappropriate reasons. Additionally, some learners assess their supervisors based on personal feelings and preferences rather than the teachers’ contributions and teaching techniques. Although this may be true, it does not apply in exceptional situations where teachers who receive a large number of negative responses may not be genuinely dedicated to their work.
Another viewpoint is that this practice serves as an effective warning for irresponsible teachers. If students experience poor results due to a lack of attention from their teachers, they should report their supervisors to higher authorities. Therefore, teachers must focus on all their students and not only prioritize those who perform well.
To sum up, both teachers and learners should be encouraged to evaluate each other for mutual improvement and enhancement, which can lead to better educational outcomes.