Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons behind this view? What are the solutions to change it?
Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons behind this view? What are the solutions to change it?
Every year, tourism locations around the world experience an increase in the number of foreign visitors. However, people living in these places are, however, finding this development particularly displeasing. This essay attempts to shed light on the driving factors behind this problem before outlining several viable solutions that should be adopted to tackle it.
There are two primary reasons as to why local residents frequently see international tourism as a source of many significant problems in their nations. Firstly, it may have an adverse impact on traditional customs and indigenous practices. For instance, when Western visitors visit Vietnam, they may not respect local traditions out of unknowledge or contempt, resulting in the erosion of cultural identity. Secondly, tourists often pollute or litter beautiful spots and several famous beaches. It is a fact that in the past 10 years, more than 70% of international tourists have chosen to travel to Vietnam's beaches during their vacations, especially Nha Trang beach, which has the most international tourists. But this means that beaches, and nature reserves, are from pollution caused by tourists who litter and damage these beautiful areas. This not only harms the natural ecosystem but also degrades the quality of life for local inhabitants.
To combat this worrying issue, the following essential steps should be taken. First and foremost, the economic benefits of global tourism should be promoted more effectively through official media channels. Governments can highlight the financial advantages that tourism brings, such as job creation, infrastructure development, and the stimulation of local businesses. By emphasizing these positive aspects, local people may develop a more favourable view of tourism. Furthermore, governments should enforce strict regulations. For example, fining tourists who litter and organizing campaigns promoting environmentally friendly behaviour can help preserve the natural beauty of tourist destinations. In addition, increases cultural awareness by introducing tourists to the importance of respecting local customs and traditions.
In conclusion, there are some underlying motives behind this negative perception towards international tourism, and it is crucial that the aforementioned measures be implemented to change this oppositional perspective.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"people living in these places are, however, finding this development particularly displeasing" -> "residents of these areas, however, find this development particularly displeasing"
Explanation: Using "residents of these areas" instead of "people living in these places" provides a more formal and precise term, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence. -
"shed light on" -> "explore"
Explanation: "Explore" is a more direct and academically appropriate verb than "shed light on," which can sound overly metaphorical and less formal in this context. -
"frequently see" -> "often perceive"
Explanation: "Often perceive" is more formal and precise than "frequently see," aligning better with academic writing standards. -
"adverse impact" -> "negative impact"
Explanation: "Negative impact" is a more straightforward and commonly accepted term in academic discourse compared to "adverse," which can be less specific in this context. -
"out of unknowledge" -> "due to a lack of knowledge"
Explanation: "Due to a lack of knowledge" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies the meaning, making it more formal and precise. -
"pollute or litter" -> "pollute and litter"
Explanation: Using "and" instead of "or" corrects the logical flow of the sentence, indicating that both actions are common occurrences. -
"from pollution caused by tourists" -> "due to pollution caused by tourists"
Explanation: "Due to" is more appropriate in this context, indicating causality more clearly and formally than "from." -
"degrades the quality of life" -> "adversely affects the quality of life"
Explanation: "Adversely affects" is a more precise and formal way to describe the negative impact on quality of life, enhancing the academic tone. -
"the following essential steps should be taken" -> "the following measures should be implemented"
Explanation: "Measures" is a more formal term than "steps," and "implemented" is more precise than "taken" in the context of policy or action. -
"promote more effectively" -> "promote more effectively"
Explanation: This is a redundant correction to ensure consistency in verb tense, aligning with the past tense used in the preceding sentence. -
"fining tourists" -> "imposing fines on tourists"
Explanation: "Imposing fines on" is a more formal and precise way to describe the action of charging penalties, suitable for an academic context. -
"organizing campaigns promoting" -> "conducting campaigns to promote"
Explanation: "Conducting campaigns to promote" is more formal and specific, enhancing the clarity and formality of the sentence. -
"increases cultural awareness" -> "enhance cultural awareness"
Explanation: "Enhance" is a more precise verb than "increase" in this context, as it specifically refers to improving or increasing the level of awareness, which is more appropriate for the intended meaning. -
"oppositional perspective" -> "negative perspective"
Explanation: "Negative perspective" is a clearer and more direct term than "oppositional perspective," which may be overly complex and less commonly used in academic writing.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies reasons behind the negative perception of international tourism, such as the erosion of cultural identity and environmental degradation. The solutions proposed, including promoting economic benefits and enforcing regulations, are relevant and well-articulated. However, while the reasons are clearly stated, the solutions could benefit from more depth and specificity, particularly in how they can be implemented.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could provide more detailed examples of how the proposed solutions could be practically applied. For instance, discussing specific campaigns or initiatives that have been successful in other countries could strengthen the argument and provide a clearer roadmap for implementation.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges the negative aspects of international tourism while advocating for solutions to improve perceptions. The introduction sets the tone, and the conclusion reiterates the importance of addressing the issue. However, there are moments where the transition between discussing problems and solutions could be smoother, which might lead to slight confusion about the overall stance.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer could use transitional phrases to better connect the discussion of problems to the proposed solutions. For instance, explicitly stating how each solution directly addresses a specific problem would reinforce the essay’s position and enhance coherence.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas and supports them with examples, such as the impact of tourism on local customs and the environment. However, some points, particularly in the solutions section, lack sufficient elaboration. For example, the mention of promoting economic benefits is somewhat vague and could be expanded with specific strategies or examples of successful communication campaigns.
- How to improve: To extend and support ideas more effectively, the writer should aim to provide more concrete examples and data. For instance, citing statistics on job creation from tourism or examples of successful environmental campaigns would lend more credibility to the arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for negative perceptions of international tourism and potential solutions. However, there are slight deviations, such as the mention of the economic benefits without a clear link back to the negative perceptions. This could distract from the main focus of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should consistently tie back each point to the central theme of changing perceptions of tourism. Ensuring that every paragraph directly relates to either the reasons for negative perceptions or the solutions will help keep the essay cohesive and on topic.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and presents a well-structured argument. By incorporating more specific examples, enhancing transitions, and ensuring all points are tightly linked to the central topic, the writer can further improve the quality of their response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s intent. The body paragraphs are organized into distinct sections: the first discusses the reasons behind the negative perception of international tourism, while the second outlines potential solutions. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument easily. For example, the transition from discussing cultural erosion to pollution is smooth, maintaining a coherent flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea. For instance, the first body paragraph could begin with a sentence like, "One major concern regarding international tourism is its detrimental effect on local cultures." This would provide a stronger framework for the subsequent details.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the discussion, such as reasons for the negative perception and solutions. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer segmentation, as it combines multiple solutions into a single paragraph without sufficient transition between ideas.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer could break the second body paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on promoting the economic benefits of tourism and the other on enforcing regulations. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each solution and improve readability.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Furthermore," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, there is some repetition of phrases like "for instance" and "it is a fact that," which could detract from the overall cohesion of the text. The use of "however" at the beginning of the first sentence is also somewhat redundant given its placement.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "In addition," "Moreover," or "On the other hand," to introduce new ideas or contrast points. Additionally, varying sentence structures can enhance the flow; for example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "It is a fact that," the writer could rephrase to integrate these facts more naturally into the narrative.
Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their argument.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "adverse impact," "cultural identity," and "environmentally friendly behaviour" effectively conveying the writer’s ideas. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "beautiful spots" is somewhat generic and could be replaced with more specific descriptors like "scenic landscapes" or "pristine environments."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and more descriptive language throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeating "tourists," they could use "visitors," "travelers," or "holidaymakers" to avoid redundancy and enrich the text.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay includes some precise vocabulary, such as "erosion of cultural identity," which accurately captures the negative effects of tourism. However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "unknowledge," which is not a standard English word; the correct term would be "ignorance." Additionally, the phrase "from pollution caused by tourists" could be more clearly stated as "subject to pollution caused by tourists."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that all vocabulary used is standard and appropriate for the context. A thorough proofreading process can help identify and correct such errors. Additionally, expanding their vocabulary knowledge through reading and practice can aid in selecting the most fitting words for their arguments.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with most words spelled correctly. However, the term "unknowledge" is a notable error that detracts from the overall quality of the writing. Such mistakes can undermine the reader’s confidence in the writer’s language proficiency.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice and utilize tools such as spell checkers. Additionally, reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts. Keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial for targeted practice.
Overall, while the essay achieves a solid band score of 7 for Lexical Resource, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precise word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy will further enhance the quality of the writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "However, people living in these places are, however, finding this development particularly displeasing." This showcases an attempt to convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, such as "Firstly, it may have an adverse impact on traditional customs and indigenous practices." However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way reasons are introduced (e.g., "Firstly," "Secondly," "For example").
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer can incorporate more complex clauses and avoid repetitive introductory phrases. For example, instead of starting each reason with "Firstly" or "Secondly," the writer could use phrases like "One significant concern is…" or "Another issue worth noting is…" This would create a more engaging flow and demonstrate a broader range of grammatical structures.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains good grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "out of unknowledge or contempt" is awkward and incorrect; "unknowledge" should be replaced with "ignorance." Additionally, the sentence "beaches, and nature reserves, are from pollution caused by tourists who litter" contains a grammatical error; it should read "beaches and nature reserves are suffering from pollution caused by tourists who litter." Punctuation is mostly correct, but the use of commas could be improved for clarity, especially in compound sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch awkward phrases and grammatical errors. It would be beneficial to focus on common pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. Additionally, practicing sentence restructuring can help avoid awkward constructions. For punctuation, the writer should review rules regarding comma usage, particularly in lists and compound sentences, to enhance clarity and readability.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, there are areas for improvement that could elevate the writing to a higher band score. By diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
Every year, tourism locations around the world experience an increase in the number of foreign visitors. However, residents of these areas often find this development particularly displeasing. This essay attempts to explore the driving factors behind this problem before outlining several viable solutions that should be adopted to address it.
There are two primary reasons why local residents frequently perceive international tourism as a source of significant problems in their countries. Firstly, it may have a negative impact on traditional customs and indigenous practices. For instance, when Western visitors travel to Vietnam, they may not respect local traditions due to a lack of knowledge or contempt, resulting in the erosion of cultural identity. Secondly, tourists often pollute and litter beautiful spots, including several famous beaches. In the past 10 years, more than 70% of international tourists have chosen to visit Vietnam’s beaches during their vacations, particularly Nha Trang beach, which attracts the most international visitors. However, this influx means that beaches and nature reserves are suffering from pollution caused by tourists who litter and damage these beautiful areas. This not only harms the natural ecosystem but also degrades the quality of life for local inhabitants.
To combat this worrying issue, the following essential measures should be implemented. First and foremost, the economic benefits of global tourism should be promoted more effectively through official media channels. Governments can highlight the financial advantages that tourism brings, such as job creation, infrastructure development, and the stimulation of local businesses. By emphasizing these positive aspects, local people may develop a more favorable view of tourism. Furthermore, governments should enforce strict regulations. For example, imposing fines on tourists who litter and conducting campaigns to promote environmentally friendly behavior can help preserve the natural beauty of tourist destinations. In addition, enhancing cultural awareness by introducing tourists to the importance of respecting local customs and traditions is crucial.
In conclusion, there are several underlying motives behind this negative perspective towards international tourism, and it is essential that the aforementioned measures be implemented to change this oppositional view.