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Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes?

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes?

There is a fact that hostile attitudes towards international tourism have emerged amongst local people. The aim of this essay is to present underlying justifications behind this phenomenon and propose some practical measures to tackle this undesirable issue.
Indisputably, there are two fundamental reasons for this emerging trend. The first factor is environmental degradation that could be attributed to a significant influx of foreign tourists. With a lack of awareness of protecting the environment, many tourists irresponsibly throw trash in public places such as beaches, streets and parks, not to mention important sites and monuments. As a consequence, international travelers inevitably pose a threat to air, water and soil contamination, as well as the beauty of spectacular landscapes. Another significant cause of this negative attitude is cultural differences. To elaborate, foreign visitors may inadvertently wear ostentatious or revealing clothes to religious sites, including pagodas, temples and museums that can be regarded as offensive behaviors to local residents.
Some measures can certainly be implemented to change the antagonistic attitude of locals towards global tourism. The first vital method is that governments can mitigate environmental pollution associated with international tourists by imposing more rigorous laws and severe punishments on individuals or organizations causing detrimental impacts on the surroundings. In this way, cleaner environments can be maintained and all residents can enjoy the architectural integrities of historical and cultural places. Another efficacious solution involves the execution of stringent regulations and instructions for foreign tourists paying a visit to sacred destinations. By virtue of this measure, tourists can adequately prepare for appropriate clothing styles and create a lasting impression on locals about the positive images of global citizens.
In conclusion, the fact that local people may perceive international travel as an adverse trend could be ascribed to environmental pollution and cultural clashes in the area. However, this issue can be remedied through the implementation of tougher laws and restrictions by the authorities and local dwellers.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "There is a fact that hostile attitudes towards international tourism have emerged amongst local people." -> "It is a fact that hostile attitudes toward international tourism have emerged among local residents."
    Explanation: Replacing "There is a fact that" with "It is a fact that" enhances formality and clarity in academic writing. Additionally, changing "local people" to "local residents" adds precision and professionalism to the statement.

  2. "The aim of this essay is to present underlying justifications behind this phenomenon and propose some practical measures to tackle this undesirable issue." -> "This essay aims to elucidate the underlying justifications behind this phenomenon and suggest practical measures to address this undesirable issue."
    Explanation: The revised sentence eliminates redundancy and streamlines the expression, making it more concise and academically polished.

  3. "Indisputably, there are two fundamental reasons for this emerging trend." -> "Undoubtedly, two fundamental reasons contribute to this emerging trend."
    Explanation: The replacement of "Indisputably, there are" with "Undoubtedly, two fundamental reasons contribute to" maintains the assertion while adopting a more formal and precise tone.

  4. "With a lack of awareness of protecting the environment…" -> "Due to a lack of awareness in environmental preservation…"
    Explanation: The suggested change improves the sentence by using a more formal structure and specifying that the lack of awareness is in environmental preservation.

  5. "Many tourists irresponsibly throw trash in public places such as beaches, streets and parks, not to mention important sites and monuments." -> "Numerous tourists negligently discard waste in public spaces, including beaches, streets, parks, and notably, significant sites and monuments."
    Explanation: The alternative phrasing enhances formality by replacing "Many tourists irresponsibly throw" with "Numerous tourists negligently discard" and by specifying the locations with more precision.

  6. "Another significant cause of this negative attitude is cultural differences." -> "Another contributing factor to this negative attitude is cultural disparities."
    Explanation: The replacement of "significant cause" with "contributing factor" and "cultural differences" with "cultural disparities" adds nuance and formality to the statement.

  7. "To elaborate, foreign visitors may inadvertently wear ostentatious or revealing clothes to religious sites, including pagodas, temples and museums that can be regarded as offensive behaviors to local residents." -> "Elaborating further, foreign visitors may unintentionally wear ostentatious or revealing attire to religious sites, encompassing pagodas, temples, and museums, which can be perceived as offensive by local residents."
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance clarity and formality by refining the phrasing and specifying the locations with more precision.

  8. "Some measures can certainly be implemented to change the antagonistic attitude of locals towards global tourism." -> "Effective measures can be implemented to transform the antagonistic attitude of local residents toward global tourism."
    Explanation: The replacement of "Some measures can certainly be" with "Effective measures can be" adds strength to the statement, and the use of "local residents" maintains a formal tone.

  9. "The first vital method is that governments can mitigate environmental pollution associated with international tourists…" -> "The primary essential approach involves governments mitigating environmental pollution associated with international tourists…"
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance formality and precision by replacing "The first vital method is that" with "The primary essential approach involves" and by specifying that it is governments that are taking the action.

  10. "By virtue of this measure, tourists can adequately prepare for appropriate clothing styles and create a lasting impression on locals about the positive images of global citizens." -> "Through this measure, tourists can properly prepare by adhering to appropriate clothing styles, thereby leaving a lasting positive impression on locals as global citizens."
    Explanation: The revision improves clarity and formality by rephrasing the sentence and using more precise language.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It identifies the reasons behind negative attitudes toward international tourism and proposes practical solutions. The reasons (environmental degradation and cultural differences) are discussed comprehensively, and solutions are provided for each.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers all aspects, providing more specific examples or real-life scenarios related to environmental degradation and cultural clashes could enhance the depth of analysis.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing that negative attitudes toward international tourism are rooted in environmental and cultural issues. The position is evident from the introduction to the conclusion.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity, consider explicitly stating the thesis in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion for emphasis.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas coherently, extending arguments with supporting details. For instance, it explains how tourists contribute to environmental degradation and elaborates on cultural clashes, providing examples of inappropriate clothing at religious sites.
    • How to improve: To enhance idea development, consider incorporating additional examples or statistics related to the environmental impact of tourism and specific instances of cultural clashes, providing a richer context for the reader.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, discussing the specified reasons for negative attitudes toward international tourism and proposing relevant solutions. However, there are minor instances where the essay could have been more concise.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, avoid repetition and unnecessary elaboration. Ensure that each point contributes directly to the central argument, promoting a more concise and impactful essay.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt, demonstrating a strong command of the English language and providing a well-structured response. To further improve, consider incorporating more specific examples and refining the thesis for added clarity.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. The introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay, presenting reasons behind negative attitudes towards international tourism. The body paragraphs follow a coherent structure, addressing environmental degradation and cultural differences as the two fundamental reasons. The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points.
    • How to improve: While the logical flow is adequate, consider enhancing the introduction by providing a brief roadmap of the main points to guide the reader. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance overall coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is adequately paragraphed with distinct sections for the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect, such as reasons and solutions, contributing to the overall clarity.
    • How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, consider ensuring that each paragraph contains a cohesive development of ideas. In some instances, the relationship between sentences could be strengthened to enhance the overall coherence within paragraphs.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, including transition words and phrases (e.g., "Indisputably," "Another," "In conclusion"), which contribute to the overall coherence. These devices help link ideas and guide the reader through the essay.
    • How to improve: While the essay utilizes cohesive devices effectively, consider introducing a greater diversity of linking words and phrases to enhance fluency. Additionally, ensure that the placement of cohesive devices within sentences contributes to a smoother and more connected overall discourse.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong level of coherence and cohesion. To enhance the score, focus on refining the introduction, strengthening topic sentences within paragraphs, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices for a more polished and fluid presentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating terms like "underlying justifications," "influx," "irresponsibly," "ostentatious," "detrimental impacts," and more. These choices contribute to a nuanced expression of ideas.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the richness of vocabulary, consider incorporating domain-specific terminology related to tourism and environmental conservation where applicable. Additionally, strive for more variety in sentence structures to showcase a higher level of linguistic flexibility.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The vocabulary usage is generally precise, with terms fitting the context effectively. For instance, the essay appropriately employs words like "antagonistic," "efficacious," and "remedied" to convey specific meanings.
    • How to improve: While the precision is commendable, ensure consistency in precision throughout the essay. Double-check for any instances where a more specific or contextually fitting term could replace a commonly used one. This can elevate the overall precision of language.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no apparent spelling errors. This contributes positively to the overall language proficiency.
    • How to improve: Maintain the current diligence in proofreading to sustain the high standard of spelling accuracy. Additionally, consider expanding vocabulary by incorporating new words, ensuring accurate spelling when doing so.

In summary, the essay exhibits a robust command of vocabulary, showcasing both breadth and precision. To elevate the lexical resource further, focus on incorporating domain-specific terms, enhancing sentence structure variety, and maintaining the current level of spelling accuracy. This will contribute to an even more sophisticated and effective use of language.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. There is a mix of complex, compound, and simple sentences, enhancing the overall fluency and coherence of the essay. For instance, the use of conditional sentences ("If governments impose more rigorous laws…") and participial phrases ("With a lack of awareness…") contributes to the richness of expression.
    • How to improve: While the essay showcases diversity in sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex structures, such as relative clauses and advanced punctuation like em dashes or semicolons. This can elevate the sophistication of the writing, contributing to a more nuanced expression.
  • Use Grammar Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The grammar usage is largely accurate, with minimal errors observed. However, there are a few instances where subject-verb agreement and article usage could be refined. For example, in the sentence "There is a fact that hostile attitudes…," it would be grammatically more precise to say, "It is a fact that hostile attitudes…"
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. Review the essay to identify instances where the use of articles (a, an, the) could be clarified, and ensure consistency in verb forms.
  • Use Correct Punctuation:

    • Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally accurate, with appropriate use of commas, periods, and colons. However, there are a few instances where the placement of commas could be refined. For instance, in the sentence "The first factor is environmental degradation that could be attributed to a significant influx of foreign tourists," consider placing a comma after "degradation" for improved clarity.
    • How to improve: Focus on the precise placement of commas, ensuring they are used to enhance readability and clarify the intended meaning. Review the essay for instances where a well-placed comma can improve the flow of the sentence without causing confusion.

Overall, the essay exhibits a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. To enhance the score further, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures and paying meticulous attention to minor grammatical nuances, such as article usage and comma placement. This will contribute to an even more polished and sophisticated piece of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a fact that hostile attitudes towards international tourism have emerged amongst local people. The aim of this essay is to present underlying justifications behind this phenomenon and propose some practical measures to tackle this undesirable issue.

Indisputably, there are two fundamental reasons for this emerging trend. The first factor is environmental degradation that could be attributed to a significant influx of foreign tourists. With a lack of awareness of protecting the environment, many tourists irresponsibly throw trash in public places such as beaches, streets, and parks, not to mention important sites and monuments. As a consequence, international travelers inevitably pose a threat to air, water, and soil contamination, as well as the beauty of spectacular landscapes. Another significant cause of this negative attitude is cultural differences. To elaborate, foreign visitors may inadvertently wear ostentatious or revealing clothes to religious sites, including pagodas, temples, and museums that can be regarded as offensive behaviors to local residents.

Some measures can certainly be implemented to change the antagonistic attitude of locals towards global tourism. The first vital method is that governments can mitigate environmental pollution associated with international tourists by imposing more rigorous laws and severe punishments on individuals or organizations causing detrimental impacts on the surroundings. In this way, cleaner environments can be maintained, and all residents can enjoy the architectural integrities of historical and cultural places. Another efficacious solution involves the execution of stringent regulations and instructions for foreign tourists paying a visit to sacred destinations. By virtue of this measure, tourists can adequately prepare for appropriate clothing styles and create a lasting impression on locals about the positive images of global citizens.

In conclusion, the fact that local people may perceive international travel as an adverse trend could be ascribed to environmental pollution and cultural clashes in the area. However, this issue can be remedied through the implementation of tougher laws and restrictions by the authorities and local dwellers.

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