Many people believe that is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinion

People have differing views with regard to the question of how to improve healthy lifestyle. In my opinion, both countryside and city can be the destination where health care system could enhance
On the one hand, living in the countryside have various condition which help people achieve safe hygiene products such as fishs, rices, vegetables,.. These kind of foods are seft-sufficient, it means horizons can consume products without worrying the poison contained in it. In addition, there are few companies, buildings, transportations in the country Thanks to lack of these prevalances, it would be less aire and noise pollution. People could maintain good health and get away from deseases like lung infection, asthma … Finally, modern devices were not popular in the countryside. People don't need to spend time on surfing the Internet; therefore, they can easily go on bed ealier than citizens.
On the other hand, I would agree with the opinion city brings for us better condition in daily lives. People have multiple choice in buying foods from going to markets to supermarkets or even luxury shops. All of goods have nutrition information in its packageing. Wr can consume diversity nutrious foods from over the world and enhance vitamin A-B-C-D-E; protein and keep body fit. Moreover, updating examination in hospital play an important role to help resident have knowledge prevent deseases which countryside may not keep up with.
In conclusion, while living in the countryside could give a healthy lifestyle, I believe city brings for us better health condition.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"People have differing views with regard to the question of how to improve healthy lifestyle." -> "There are varying opinions regarding the best ways to improve one’s lifestyle."
Explanation: The phrase "differing views with regard to the question of how to improve healthy lifestyle" is awkward and verbose. Simplifying it to "There are varying opinions regarding the best ways to improve one’s lifestyle" streamlines the sentence and enhances clarity.
"both countryside and city can be the destination where health care system could enhance" -> "both rural and urban areas can serve as destinations where healthcare systems can be enhanced"
Explanation: "Countryside and city" is informal and imprecise; "rural and urban areas" are more formal and specific. Additionally, "health care system could enhance" is passive and vague; "healthcare systems can be enhanced" is more active and precise.
"living in the countryside have various condition which help people achieve safe hygiene products" -> "living in rural areas offers various conditions that facilitate access to safe hygiene products"
Explanation: "living in the countryside have various condition" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "offers various conditions that facilitate access to safe hygiene products" corrects these issues and improves formality.
"fishs, rices, vegetables,.." -> "fish, rice, vegetables, and other staples"
Explanation: "fishs" is a typographical error; "rice" should be "rice" without the "s." The phrase "and other staples" provides a clearer and more formal way to conclude the list.
"seft-sufficient" -> "self-sufficient"
Explanation: "seft-sufficient" is a typographical error; "self-sufficient" is the correct term.
"it means horizons can consume products without worrying the poison contained in it" -> "this means that consumers can avoid products containing harmful substances"
Explanation: "it means horizons can consume products without worrying the poison contained in it" is awkward and unclear. "this means that consumers can avoid products containing harmful substances" is clearer and more formal.
"few companies, buildings, transportations in the country" -> "few companies, buildings, and transportation in rural areas"
Explanation: "transportations" is incorrect; "transportation" is the singular form. Also, "in the country" is vague; "in rural areas" specifies the context.
"lack of these prevalances" -> "lack of these pollutants"
Explanation: "prevalances" is not a standard term; "pollutants" is the correct word for substances that contaminate the environment.
"less aire and noise pollution" -> "less air and noise pollution"
Explanation: "aire" is a typographical error; "air" is the correct spelling.
"People could maintain good health and get away from deseases" -> "people can maintain good health and avoid diseases"
Explanation: "deseases" is a typographical error; "diseases" is the correct spelling. Also, "get away from" is informal; "avoid" is more precise and formal.
"modern devices were not popular in the countryside" -> "modern devices are not widely used in rural areas"
Explanation: "were not popular" is passive and less precise; "are not widely used" is more direct and formal.
"People don’t need to spend time on surfing the Internet; therefore, they can easily go on bed ealier than citizens" -> "People do not need to spend time surfing the Internet; thus, they can easily go to bed earlier than urban dwellers"
Explanation: "go on bed ealier" is incorrect; "go to bed earlier" is the correct phrase. "urban dwellers" is a more formal term than "citizens."
"I would agree with the opinion city brings for us better condition in daily lives" -> "I agree that urban areas offer better conditions for daily life"
Explanation: "I would agree with the opinion city brings for us better condition in daily lives" is awkward and informal. "I agree that urban areas offer better conditions for daily life" is clearer and more formal.
"People have multiple choice in buying foods from going to markets to supermarkets or even luxury shops" -> "people have multiple options for purchasing food from markets, supermarkets, or luxury stores"
Explanation: "have multiple choice in buying foods from going to markets to supermarkets or even luxury shops" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "have multiple options for purchasing food from markets, supermarkets, or luxury stores" corrects these issues and enhances formality.
"Wr can consume diversity nutrious foods from over the world" -> "We can consume diverse nutritious foods from around the world"
Explanation: "Wr" is a typographical error; "We

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the health benefits of living in the countryside versus the city. The first part discusses the advantages of the countryside, such as access to fresh and safe food, reduced pollution, and a less technology-driven lifestyle. The second part presents the benefits of city living, including a wider variety of food options and advanced healthcare facilities. However, the discussion could be more balanced, as the countryside’s advantages are elaborated more than the city’s benefits.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that both sides are explored equally. For instance, when discussing the city, include more specific examples of health services or recreational facilities that promote a healthy lifestyle. Additionally, consider integrating counterarguments or acknowledging potential drawbacks of each lifestyle to provide a more comprehensive perspective.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear opinion that cities provide better health conditions, but this position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the text. The introduction states a belief in both lifestyles, which may confuse the reader about the author’s definitive stance. The conclusion reiterates the preference for city living but does not clearly reflect the earlier discussion.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, explicitly state your opinion in the introduction and consistently refer back to it in each paragraph. Use phrases like "In my view" or "I strongly believe" to reinforce your stance. Additionally, ensure that the conclusion not only summarizes the discussion but also emphasizes your opinion more strongly.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented, but they often lack depth and supporting evidence. For example, the discussion on the countryside mentions "safe hygiene products" and "less air and noise pollution," but these points could be elaborated with examples or statistics to strengthen the argument. Similarly, the city’s advantages are mentioned but not sufficiently supported with details on how these factors contribute to a healthier lifestyle.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, provide specific examples or data to back up claims. For instance, when discussing the variety of food in cities, mention how access to diverse foods can lead to better nutrition. Additionally, consider using real-life examples or studies that illustrate the health benefits of each environment.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the health aspects of both lifestyles. However, some sentences contain grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that can detract from the clarity of the argument. For instance, phrases like "these kind of foods are seft-sufficient" and "lack of these prevalances" are unclear and may confuse the reader.
- How to improve: Focus on clarity and coherence in your writing. Proofread for grammatical errors and awkward constructions. Consider breaking down complex ideas into simpler sentences to enhance understanding. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main topic of health benefits, avoiding any tangential points that may distract from the central argument.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score by providing a more balanced, coherent, and well-supported argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents two contrasting views regarding the health benefits of living in the countryside versus the city. However, the organization of ideas within each paragraph could be improved. For instance, the first paragraph discussing the countryside lacks a clear progression of ideas. The mention of hygiene products and self-sufficiency is somewhat disjointed from the subsequent points about pollution and modern devices. The transition between these ideas could be smoother to enhance logical flow. The second paragraph about city living is more coherent, but it could benefit from clearer topic sentences that outline the main point of each section.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that summarize the main idea. Additionally, ensure that each point flows logically to the next by using linking phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely," to guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate the discussion of the countryside and the city, which is a positive aspect. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. The first paragraph is lengthy and covers multiple ideas without clear separation, making it harder for the reader to follow. The second paragraph, while more focused, still lacks a clear conclusion that ties back to the main argument.
- How to improve: Aim for clearer paragraph structures by ensuring each paragraph contains a single main idea, supported by relevant details. Consider breaking down the first paragraph into two: one focusing on the benefits of the countryside and another addressing the drawbacks. This will help maintain clarity and focus. Additionally, include a concluding sentence in each paragraph that summarizes the main point and connects it back to the overall argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal contrasting views. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some transitions are awkward or unclear. For example, phrases like "Thanks to lack of these prevalances" could be rephrased for clarity and flow. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices to link ideas within paragraphs is minimal, which can disrupt the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases throughout the essay. For instance, use "Moreover," "Consequently," and "In contrast" to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used correctly and naturally within the context of the sentences. Practicing the use of these devices in various contexts can help improve their effectiveness in your writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents both views, enhancing the logical organization, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices will contribute to achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary related to health and lifestyle, such as "healthy lifestyle," "hygiene products," "pollution," and "nutrition information." However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the phrases "living in the countryside" and "city" are used frequently without much variation. Additionally, some vocabulary choices, such as "safe hygiene products" and "deseases," are not the most appropriate or varied options available.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "countryside," alternatives like "rural areas" or "the countryside" could be employed. Additionally, the writer could explore more descriptive adjectives and adverbs to enrich the text, such as "fresh," "organic," or "locally-sourced" when discussing food.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "safe hygiene products such as fishs, rices, vegetables" is misleading; it suggests that these foods are hygiene products rather than food items. The term "self-sufficient" is also misspelled and misused, as it should refer to the ability to provide for oneself rather than the ability to consume without worry. Additionally, "prevalances" is incorrectly used and should be "prevalence."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that vocabulary accurately reflects the intended meaning. This can be achieved by revisiting definitions and contexts for words used. For instance, instead of saying "safe hygiene products," the writer could say "fresh and organic produce." Furthermore, proofreading for spelling errors and ensuring that terms are used in their correct context will enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "fishs" (should be "fish"), "rices" (should be "rice"), "seft-sufficient" (should be "self-sufficient"), "deseases" (should be "diseases"), "packageing" (should be "packaging"), and "aire" (should be "air"). These errors detract from the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice of spelling common words, particularly those relevant to the topic at hand. Utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading the essay multiple times before submission can help catch errors. Additionally, creating a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary related to the topic, there are significant areas for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling. By expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and focusing on spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that can enhance clarity and sophistication. For example, the sentence "People have differing views with regard to the question of how to improve healthy lifestyle" is straightforward but could be varied with more complex structures. Additionally, the use of phrases such as "In my opinion" and "On the one hand" introduces some variety, but the overall sentence construction remains basic.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses or varied sentence openings. For instance, instead of saying "People could maintain good health and get away from diseases," the writer could use a complex structure: "By living in the countryside, people could not only maintain good health but also avoid diseases." Practicing the use of relative clauses, conditional sentences, and varying sentence lengths will help improve the overall grammatical range.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "living in the countryside have various condition" should be "living in the countryside has various conditions." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, such as "These kind of foods are seft-sufficient," where "kind" should be "kinds." Punctuation errors include the misuse of commas and the lack of spaces after punctuation marks, such as "vegetables,..". The phrase "Thanks to lack of these prevalances" is awkward and unclear, and "aire" should be "air."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, pluralization, and correct word forms. Regularly reviewing grammar rules and practicing with exercises focused on common errors can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation and clarity before submission can help catch mistakes. Utilizing tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers can also provide insights into areas needing improvement.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy, the writer should focus on expanding their range of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Engaging in targeted practice and revision will be crucial for development in these areas.

Bài sửa mẫu

People have varying opinions regarding the best ways to improve a healthy lifestyle. In my opinion, both the countryside and the city can serve as destinations where healthcare systems can be enhanced.

On the one hand, living in the countryside offers various conditions that facilitate access to safe hygiene products such as fish, rice, and vegetables. These kinds of foods are often self-sufficient, meaning that consumers can avoid products containing harmful substances. In addition, there are few companies, buildings, and transportation options in rural areas. Thanks to the lack of these pollutants, there is less air and noise pollution. People can maintain good health and avoid diseases like lung infections and asthma. Finally, modern devices are not widely used in rural areas. People do not need to spend time surfing the Internet; thus, they can easily go to bed earlier than urban dwellers.

On the other hand, I agree that urban areas offer better conditions for daily life. People have multiple options for purchasing food, from markets to supermarkets or even luxury stores. All goods have nutritional information on their packaging. We can consume diverse nutritious foods from around the world, enhancing our intake of vitamins A, B, C, D, and E, as well as protein, which helps keep our bodies fit. Moreover, updated examinations in hospitals play an important role in helping residents gain knowledge to prevent diseases, which rural areas may not keep up with.

In conclusion, while living in the countryside can provide a healthy lifestyle, I believe that cities offer better health conditions overall.