Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that living in cities has more health benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Opinions are varied on whether it is easier for urban or rural residents to lead a healthy lifestyle. While some argue that rural areas, with their relaxed pace of life, promote better health, others contend that the access to advanced healthcare and entertainment in cities provides significant health benefits. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives and argue that despite the advantages of rural life, the benefits of city living, particularly in terms of medical care and stress management, should not be underestimated.

While supporters of rural life often point to the more pedestrian lifestyle rural people lead, it is important to recognize that city dwellers face significant stress due to higher living costs, which often necessitate overtime work, leading to health issues such as hypertension or mental fatigue. Additionally, urban environments are often characterized by high levels of air pollution as well as long commutes and congestion, which are less prevalent in rural areas where the air is cleaner, and life moves at a slower pace.

Proponents of urban living often argue that the easier access to advanced medical services makes cities more conducive to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. It is certainly true that hospitals in cities are typically equipped with the latest medical technologies and staffed with highly skilled professionals, offering superior treatment options for those who fall ill. By contrast, healthcare in rural areas is often underdeveloped, with fewer hospitals and clinics. Furthermore, the wide availability of recreational facilities such as shopping malls, movie theaters and amusement parks that can help alleviate stress. Unfortunately, these amenities are often absent in rural regions, where healthcare facilities may be less developed and entertainment options are often limited.

In conclusion, although city life provides modern healthcare and stress-relieving entertainment that cater to young people, rural living may offer health benefits for older individuals for its tranquility and cleaner air. However, considering the importance of healthcare access and stress management, I believe that urban areas offer a more comprehensive range of health benefits for a broader segment of population.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Opinions are varied" -> "Opinions are diverse"
Explanation: "Diverse" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "varied" in this context, emphasizing the range of perspectives without the slightly informal connotation of "varied."
"relaxed pace of life" -> "more leisurely pace of life"
Explanation: "Leisurely" is a more formal and precise term than "relaxed," which can be seen as too casual for academic writing.
"the access to advanced healthcare and entertainment" -> "access to advanced healthcare facilities and entertainment options"
Explanation: Adding "facilities" and "options" provides specificity and clarity, enhancing the formal tone and precision of the statement.
"significant health benefits" -> "substantial health advantages"
Explanation: "Advantages" is a more formal synonym for "benefits" and is commonly used in academic contexts to describe positive outcomes.
"pedestrian lifestyle" -> "more sedentary lifestyle"
Explanation: "Sedentary" is a more precise term than "pedestrian," which can be vague and informal. It directly relates to the lack of physical activity.
"necessitate overtime work" -> "require overtime work"
Explanation: "Require" is a more formal and direct verb than "necessitate," which can be seen as overly formal and less commonly used in this context.
"health issues such as hypertension or mental fatigue" -> "health issues including hypertension and mental fatigue"
Explanation: Using "including" instead of "such as" provides a more formal and inclusive phrasing, indicating that the list is exhaustive rather than illustrative.
"less prevalent in rural areas" -> "more prevalent in rural areas"
Explanation: The original statement incorrectly implies that the conditions are less common in rural areas. The correction clarifies that these conditions are more common in rural areas.
"the easier access to advanced medical services" -> "the greater accessibility of advanced medical services"
Explanation: "Accessibility" is a more precise term than "access," and "greater" is more formal than "easier," aligning better with academic style.
"the latest medical technologies" -> "state-of-the-art medical technologies"
Explanation: "State-of-the-art" is a more precise and formal term than "the latest," which can be vague and less specific.
"offering superior treatment options" -> "providing superior treatment options"
Explanation: "Providing" is a more formal synonym for "offering," enhancing the academic tone.
"healthcare facilities may be less developed" -> "healthcare facilities may be underdeveloped"
Explanation: "Underdeveloped" is a more precise term that directly describes the state of healthcare facilities in rural areas.
"health benefits for older individuals" -> "health benefits for the elderly"
Explanation: "The elderly" is a more formal and specific term than "older individuals," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"healthcare access and stress management" -> "access to healthcare and stress management"
Explanation: Adding "to" before "healthcare" clarifies the prepositional phrase, making the sentence grammatically correct and more formal.
"a broader segment of population" -> "a broader segment of the population"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "population" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more formal and complete.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the health benefits of living in the countryside versus the city. The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives, and the body paragraphs provide balanced discussions on each viewpoint. For instance, the essay mentions the advantages of rural life, such as a pedestrian lifestyle and cleaner air, while also highlighting the benefits of urban living, including access to advanced medical care and recreational facilities. However, the conclusion could be more explicit in summarizing the key points discussed for both sides.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the conclusion should succinctly restate the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs for both rural and urban living. This would reinforce the discussion and ensure that all parts of the question are comprehensively addressed.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that urban living offers more health benefits, particularly in terms of healthcare access and stress management. This stance is consistently supported throughout the essay, with relevant examples provided to back up the claims. For example, the mention of advanced medical services in cities and the stress-relieving entertainment options clearly aligns with the author’s opinion. However, the position could be slightly diluted by the acknowledgment of rural benefits in the conclusion.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the author should ensure that the conclusion reinforces the argument for urban living more decisively. A stronger concluding statement that emphasizes the preference for urban health benefits over rural advantages would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas related to both lifestyles, including the effects of urban stress and the advantages of rural tranquility. Each point is supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of hypertension and mental fatigue in urban areas and the lack of healthcare facilities in rural regions. However, some ideas could be further developed. For instance, the discussion on recreational facilities in cities could include specific examples of how these contribute to a healthier lifestyle.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the author should aim to elaborate on key points with more detailed examples or statistics. For instance, discussing specific types of recreational activities available in cities and their direct impact on health could provide a more compelling argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the health implications of both rural and urban living. The points made are relevant and contribute to the overall argument. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the essay maintains a clear focus on the health benefits associated with each lifestyle.
- How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, the author should ensure that each point made directly ties back to the central question of health benefits. Avoiding any tangential discussions or overly broad statements will help maintain focus. For instance, the mention of stress management could be tied more directly to specific health outcomes to reinforce relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With slight improvements in the conclusion, elaboration of ideas, and maintaining a clear focus, the essay could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. Each paragraph addresses a specific viewpoint, with the first discussing the advantages of rural living and the second focusing on the benefits of urban life. The progression from one idea to the next is smooth, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily. For instance, the transition from discussing rural advantages to urban benefits is well-handled, maintaining a coherent flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could consider adding a brief summary sentence at the end of each paragraph to reinforce the main point before transitioning to the next. This would help to further clarify the connection between ideas and strengthen the overall argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the discussion. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into the contrasting views. However, the conclusion could be more clearly delineated as a separate paragraph, as it currently feels somewhat integrated into the final body paragraph.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer should ensure that the conclusion is distinctly separated from the body of the essay. This can be achieved by starting a new paragraph for the conclusion, clearly signaling to the reader that the discussion is wrapping up. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence can enhance clarity and focus.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "while," "however," and "furthermore," which help to connect ideas and indicate contrasts. The use of these devices contributes to the overall coherence of the essay, allowing the reader to understand the relationships between different points. For example, "While supporters of rural life often point to…" effectively sets up a contrast with the subsequent discussion of urban living.
- How to improve: To further diversify and enhance the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate more varied linking phrases and transitions. For instance, using phrases like "on the other hand," "in addition," or "conversely" can help to create a richer tapestry of connections between ideas. Additionally, ensuring that cohesive devices are not overused in a repetitive manner will keep the writing engaging and fluid.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization, effective paragraphing, and a good range of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can elevate the clarity and impact of their argument even further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the topic. Terms such as "pedestrian lifestyle," "advanced medical services," "hypertension," and "mental fatigue" showcase the writer’s ability to use topic-specific language effectively. However, there are instances where more varied synonyms could enhance the richness of the vocabulary. For example, the phrase "health benefits" is repeated multiple times, which could be substituted with alternatives like "wellness advantages" or "health gains" to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms. Keeping a thesaurus handy while drafting can help identify alternative expressions. Additionally, reading more academic essays or articles on health and lifestyle can expose the writer to diverse vocabulary usage.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where precision could be improved. For instance, the phrase "the easier access to advanced medical services" could be more precisely stated as "enhanced accessibility to state-of-the-art medical services," which conveys a clearer meaning. Furthermore, the term "health issues" is somewhat vague; specifying the types of health issues, such as "chronic illnesses" or "lifestyle-related diseases," would provide greater clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using specific terms that accurately describe the ideas being conveyed. This can be achieved by expanding their knowledge of the subject matter and practicing the use of more descriptive language. Engaging in exercises that require the writer to define and describe concepts in detail can also aid in this area.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "hypertension," "congestion," and "recreational" are spelled correctly, reflecting the writer’s attention to detail. This contributes positively to the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain and further enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should continue proofreading their work carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools can also be beneficial, but it is essential to review suggestions critically, as automated tools may not catch every error. Regular practice with spelling exercises or quizzes can also reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band 7 for Lexical Resource, there are opportunities for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. By actively expanding their vocabulary, focusing on specificity, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "While some argue that rural areas, with their relaxed pace of life, promote better health, others contend that the access to advanced healthcare and entertainment in cities provides significant health benefits." This showcases the writer’s ability to combine ideas effectively. Additionally, the essay employs conditional structures, such as "Although city life provides modern healthcare and stress-relieving entertainment that cater to young people," which adds depth to the argument. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, particularly with "While" and "However," which could be varied further to enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "While," alternatives like "In contrast," "On the other hand," or "Conversely" could be used. Additionally, integrating more compound-complex sentences could further enrich the essay’s complexity and readability.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors present. For example, the phrase "the easier access to advanced medical services makes cities more conducive to maintaining a healthy lifestyle" is grammatically correct and effectively communicates the intended meaning. However, there is a minor punctuation issue in the sentence "the wide availability of recreational facilities such as shopping malls, movie theaters and amusement parks that can help alleviate stress," where a comma should precede "and" in a list to enhance clarity. This is known as the Oxford comma, which can help avoid ambiguity in complex lists.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should review the rules regarding the use of commas in lists and consider adopting the Oxford comma for clarity. Additionally, proofreading for minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement or tense consistency, can help ensure that the essay maintains a high standard of accuracy throughout. Engaging in exercises focused on common grammatical pitfalls could also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced view of the topic, demonstrating a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. With slight adjustments to sentence variety and attention to punctuation, the writer can further enhance the quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Opinions are diverse on whether it is easier for urban or rural residents to lead a healthy lifestyle. While some argue that rural areas, with their more leisurely pace of life, promote better health, others contend that the access to advanced healthcare facilities and entertainment options in cities provides substantial health advantages. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives and argue that despite the advantages of rural life, the benefits of city living, particularly in terms of medical care and stress management, should not be underestimated.

While supporters of rural life often point to the more active lifestyle that rural residents tend to lead, it is important to recognize that city dwellers face significant stress due to higher living costs, which often require overtime work, leading to health issues including hypertension and mental fatigue. Additionally, urban environments are often characterized by high levels of air pollution, as well as long commutes and congestion, which are more prevalent in cities than in rural areas, where the air is cleaner and life moves at a slower pace.

Proponents of urban living often argue that the greater accessibility of advanced medical services makes cities more conducive to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. It is certainly true that hospitals in cities are typically equipped with state-of-the-art medical technologies and staffed with highly skilled professionals, providing superior treatment options for those who fall ill. By contrast, healthcare in rural areas may be underdeveloped, with fewer hospitals and clinics available. Furthermore, the wide availability of recreational facilities such as shopping malls, movie theaters, and amusement parks can help alleviate stress. Unfortunately, these amenities are often absent in rural regions, where healthcare facilities may be less developed and entertainment options are often limited.

In conclusion, although city life provides modern healthcare and stress-relieving entertainment that cater to a younger demographic, rural living may offer health benefits for the elderly due to its tranquility and cleaner air. However, considering the importance of access to healthcare and stress management, I believe that urban areas offer a more comprehensive range of health benefits for a broader segment of the population.