Many people believe that there should be only lagel system used all over the world . However , other believe every country can make their own laws . Discuss both views and give your opinions .

Law has an important role in per country . Some people think that it is better for use only one lagel system all over the world . Nevertheless , other believe each countries can make their own laws . This essay will explain both views and give my opinions .
On the one hand , using unique lagel system maybe have a little advantage to the world . However , it won’t suitable for several countries . For example , in some countries their law allows people has LGBT relationship but this regulation can’t accept in the country has different culture and religious . Another example , when all the country use one environment lagel system , some countries can’t follow this regulation . This is because , each country has different economic condition and development , so they don’t have enough money to protect environment under the law .
On the other hand , every country has freedom to make their own laws will bring more benefit than a only legal system . In education law , each country can make education scheme to reflect require of their own economic . For example, while some countries focus on STEM , other country can develop arts education . In addition, in China they make a law that every family has limit children , but in other country such as German they encourage give birth and they will support their family .
In conclusion , lagel system all over the world will have several laws don’t suitable for some countries and I believe, when each country can make their laws , it will more sustainable development .

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Law has an important role in per country" -> "Law plays a crucial role in each country"
Explanation: "Per" is incorrect here; "each" is the correct determiner to use with "country." Additionally, "plays a crucial role" is more formal and precise than "has an important role."
"it is better for use only one lagel system all over the world" -> "it is preferable to adopt a single legal system globally"
Explanation: "Use only one lagel system" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Adopt a single legal system globally" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"Nevertheless, other believe" -> "Nevertheless, others believe"
Explanation: "Other" should be "others" to agree with the plural subject "views."
"using unique lagel system maybe have a little advantage" -> "the use of a unique legal system may offer some advantages"
Explanation: "Using unique lagel system maybe have a little advantage" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "The use of a unique legal system may offer some advantages" corrects these issues and enhances formality.
"it won’t suitable for several countries" -> "it is not suitable for several countries"
Explanation: "Won’t" is a contraction and is too informal for academic writing. "Is not" is the correct form for negation in formal English.
"their law allows people has LGBT relationship" -> "their laws permit same-sex relationships"
Explanation: "People has LGBT relationship" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Permit same-sex relationships" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"this regulation can’t accept in the country has different culture and religious" -> "this regulation may not be accepted in countries with different cultures and religions"
Explanation: "Can’t accept" is informal and incorrect. "May not be accepted" is more formal and corrects the grammatical error. Also, "the country has different culture and religious" should be "countries with different cultures and religions" for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"when all the country use one environment lagel system" -> "when all countries adopt a single environmental legal system"
Explanation: "All the country" is grammatically incorrect. "All countries" is the correct form, and "adopt a single environmental legal system" is more precise and formal.
"some countries can’t follow this regulation" -> "some countries may not adhere to this regulation"
Explanation: "Can’t" is too informal and imprecise. "May not adhere to" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"every country has freedom to make their own laws" -> "every country has the freedom to establish its own laws"
Explanation: "Make their own laws" is somewhat informal and vague. "Establish its own laws" is more precise and formal.
"will bring more benefit than a only legal system" -> "will yield more benefits than a single legal system"
Explanation: "Bring more benefit" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Yield more benefits" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"In education law, each country can make education scheme" -> "In education law, each country can develop its own educational schemes"
Explanation: "Make education scheme" is awkward and unclear. "Develop its own educational schemes" is clearer and more formal.
"they make a law that every family has limit children" -> "they enact a law limiting family size"
Explanation: "Make a law that every family has limit children" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Enact a law limiting family size" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"but in other country such as German" -> "but in other countries such as Germany"
Explanation: "Other country" should be "other countries" for grammatical agreement, and "German" should be "Germany" for proper noun usage.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the use of a single legal system versus individual country laws. It presents arguments for both sides, such as the cultural and economic differences that affect the applicability of a universal legal system. However, the discussion of the opposing view is somewhat limited, particularly in terms of elaborating on the advantages of a single legal system. The examples provided, while relevant, could be more explicitly tied to the argument they support.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each viewpoint is given equal weight and depth. This could involve providing more detailed examples or statistics that illustrate the benefits of a single legal system, as well as addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay concludes with a clear opinion favoring the idea that individual countries should create their own laws. However, the position could be clearer throughout the essay. The transition between discussing both views and the writer’s opinion is somewhat abrupt, which may confuse readers about the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should use transitional phrases that clearly indicate when they are presenting their opinion versus discussing the opposing view. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in the conclusion can help reinforce the writer’s stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the cultural differences affecting legal systems and the economic implications of a universal law. However, some ideas are not fully developed. For instance, the mention of LGBT rights and environmental laws lacks depth in explanation and analysis, which could make the arguments more compelling.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each point by providing more context, examples, and analysis. This could involve explaining why certain laws work in some cultures but not in others, or discussing the implications of different educational laws in more detail.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the debate about legal systems. However, there are moments where the relevance of certain examples could be questioned, such as the discussion about education laws, which, while related, may divert focus from the core issue of legal systems.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all examples directly relate to the central theme of legal systems. It may be beneficial to outline the main points before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments, it could benefit from more balanced development of ideas, clearer transitions, and a more focused approach to examples. By addressing these areas, the writer could potentially achieve a higher band score in Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and states the intention to discuss both views. The body paragraphs are divided into two distinct sections: one supporting a universal legal system and the other advocating for individual country laws. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the advantages of a universal legal system and the benefits of individual laws could be smoother. The use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" helps signal shifts in perspective, but the connection between ideas within paragraphs sometimes lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas (e.g., "Furthermore," "In contrast," "Moreover") can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs appropriately, with a clear separation between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph addresses a specific viewpoint, which is a strength. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. For instance, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences and supporting details that are more logically ordered.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, the writer should begin each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that states the main idea. Following this, supporting sentences should be organized in a logical progression, with examples that directly relate to the topic sentence. This will enhance clarity and coherence within each paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "for example," and "in addition." These devices help to connect ideas and provide examples. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be more explicit. For example, the phrase "this is because" is used effectively, but more varied devices could enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "consequently," "therefore," and "on the contrary" can help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, varying sentence structures and incorporating pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can improve cohesion throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, enhancing the logical flow, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices will contribute to a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in vocabulary, such as "important role," "advantage," and "freedom." However, the use of terms like "lagel" (which appears multiple times) detracts from the overall effectiveness. The vocabulary choices are somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly with the term "law" and its variations.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "law," alternatives like "legislation," "regulations," or "legal framework" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as "jurisprudence" or "legal pluralism," would demonstrate a broader lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "lagel" is a misspelling of "legal," which undermines clarity. Phrases like "won’t suitable" should be "isn’t suitable," and "each countries" should be "each country." These inaccuracies can confuse readers and detract from the argument’s strength.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should carefully proofread their work to catch spelling and grammatical errors. Using tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers can help identify these issues. Additionally, practicing the use of collocations (e.g., "suitable for" instead of "won’t suitable") would enhance clarity and correctness.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, most notably "lagel" instead of "legal," which appears multiple times. Other errors include "each countries" (should be "each country") and "German" (should be "Germany"). These mistakes indicate a lack of attention to detail and can significantly impact the reader’s understanding.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, focusing on commonly used legal terms. Keeping a personal list of frequently misspelled words and reviewing them can be beneficial. Additionally, reading more academic texts can help reinforce correct spelling and usage in context.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and structure, significant improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. For instance, the use of simple sentences predominates, such as "Law has an important role in per country." There are attempts at more complex structures, like "On the one hand, using unique lagel system maybe have a little advantage to the world," but these are often flawed or awkward. The essay also includes several run-on sentences, which detracts from clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice combining simple sentences into compound or complex sentences. For example, instead of saying, "Law has an important role in per country. Some people think that it is better for use only one lagel system all over the world," the writer could combine these thoughts: "Law plays an important role in each country, and some people believe that a single legal system should be adopted worldwide." Additionally, incorporating varied sentence beginnings and using clauses can enhance the overall complexity of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "lagel" is a misspelling of "legal," and "per country" should be "each country." The phrase "it won’t suitable for several countries" is incorrect; it should be "it won’t be suitable for several countries." Punctuation errors, such as unnecessary spaces before commas and inconsistent use of articles (e.g., "a only legal system"), further hinder clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on fundamental grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, especially focusing on common errors, will be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring proper spacing will enhance readability. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can also help identify mistakes before submission.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents both views, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Regular practice, feedback, and revision will be key to enhancing writing skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

Law plays a crucial role in each country. Some people think that it is preferable to adopt a single legal system globally. Nevertheless, others believe that every country should have the freedom to establish its own laws. This essay will discuss both views and provide my opinion.

On the one hand, using a unique legal system may offer some advantages to the world. However, it is not suitable for several countries. For example, in some nations, their laws permit same-sex relationships, but this regulation may not be accepted in countries with different cultures and religions. Another example is when all countries adopt a single environmental legal system; some nations may not adhere to this regulation. This is because each country has different economic conditions and levels of development, so they may not have sufficient resources to protect the environment under a uniform law.

On the other hand, the freedom for every country to create its own laws will yield more benefits than a single legal system. In education law, each country can develop its own educational schemes to reflect the requirements of their specific economies. For instance, while some countries focus on STEM education, others may prioritize the development of arts education. Additionally, in China, they enact a law limiting family size, whereas in other countries such as Germany, they encourage childbirth and provide support for families.

In conclusion, a single legal system worldwide may result in several laws that are unsuitable for some countries. I believe that allowing each country to create its own laws will lead to more sustainable development.