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Many students find it harder to study when they are at university or collage than when they were at school. Why is this? What can be done to solve the problem?

Many students find it harder to study when they are at university or collage than when they were at school. Why is this? What can be done to solve the problem?

Some students argue that studying in the university or college is more challenging than in school. The reason is that they have to acquire academic and specialized knowledge, and this essay will propose some useful solutions to alleviate this problem.

There is one major reason why students find learning in the university or college more difficult than it was in school. In high school, they primarily study subjects that provide them with a basic foundation, such as mathematics, physics, biology. However, once they enter universities and colleges, they must obtain domain knowledge in their majors, which is further developed from previous disciplines in high school, to prepare for their future careers. Take those who want to become medical researchers as an example, they have to become proficient in the particular function of each medical ingredient to synthesize medicine. As a result, this specialized knowledge, that requires an extensive insight, makes the studying more demanding.

Despite massive difficulties in acquiring knowledge, there are several practical measures for students to deal with this problem. First of all, establishing study groups is an effective choice for them. As they collaborate and support each other, they can fill in knowledge gaps and remedy weaknesses, enabling them to perform better academically. Besides, if students seek and gain a deep understanding about their majors through reliable education sources beforehand, which can be collected on the internet or from seniors, they may be able to mitigate adversities in studying. Finally, building strong relationships with their supervisors and instructors is also an efficient method to lessen this problem, as they can give students numerous valuable pieces of advice and instructions.

In conclusion, while receiving advanced and professional knowledge is an arduous task for university and college students, if they implement these abovementioned approaches, not only can learners overcome this challenge, but also thrive in their academic pursuits.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "more challenging than in school" -> "more challenging than at school"
    Explanation: "In school" is too informal for academic writing. Using "at school" is more appropriate and maintains formal language.

  2. "useful solutions to alleviate this problem" -> "practical strategies to address this issue"
    Explanation: "Useful solutions" is somewhat vague. "Practical strategies" is a more precise and formal term for discussing ways to solve a problem.

  3. "There is one major reason why" -> "One significant factor contributing to"
    Explanation: "There is one major reason why" can be refined to a more academic phrase like "One significant factor contributing to."

  4. "foundation, such as mathematics, physics, biology" -> "foundation, including mathematics, physics, and biology"
    Explanation: Adding "including" and separating subjects with commas improves clarity and formality.

  5. "they must obtain domain knowledge in their majors" -> "they must acquire specialized knowledge in their fields of study"
    Explanation: "Domain knowledge" can be replaced with "specialized knowledge" for clarity and formality.

  6. "medical researchers as an example" -> "aspiring medical researchers"
    Explanation: "Medical researchers as an example" is less formal. "Aspiring medical researchers" is more specific and appropriate.

  7. "to synthesize medicine" -> "for synthesizing medicine"
    Explanation: "To synthesize medicine" is correct but sounds less formal compared to "for synthesizing medicine."

  8. "Take those who want to become" -> "For instance, those aspiring to become"
    Explanation: "Take those who want to become" can be refined to "For instance, those aspiring to become" for a more formal tone.

  9. "proficient in the particular function of each medical ingredient" -> "proficient in the specific functions of various medical compounds"
    Explanation: This change clarifies the meaning and uses more precise terminology.

  10. "which is further developed from previous disciplines in high school" -> "which builds upon foundational disciplines studied in high school"
    Explanation: "Further developed from previous disciplines" can be replaced with "builds upon foundational disciplines" for academic precision.

  11. "Despite massive difficulties in acquiring knowledge" -> "Despite the significant challenges in knowledge acquisition"
    Explanation: Replacing "massive difficulties" with "significant challenges" maintains a more formal tone.

  12. "First of all, establishing study groups" -> "Firstly, forming study groups"
    Explanation: "First of all" is more casual. "Firstly" is a suitable replacement for academic writing.

  13. "they collaborate and support each other" -> "they collaborate and provide mutual support"
    Explanation: "Support each other" can be refined to "provide mutual support" for clarity.

  14. "they can fill in knowledge gaps and remedy weaknesses" -> "they can address knowledge gaps and strengthen weaknesses"
    Explanation: Using "address" and "strengthen" enhances formality and clarity.

  15. "reliable education sources" -> "credible educational resources"
    Explanation: "Reliable education sources" can be replaced with "credible educational resources" for more precision.

  16. "which can be collected on the internet or from seniors" -> "which can be accessed online or obtained from experienced individuals"
    Explanation: This change provides a clearer description of where these resources can be found.

  17. "adversities in studying" -> "challenges in studying"
    Explanation: "Adversities" is more dramatic. "Challenges" is a more neutral and formal term.

  18. "numerous valuable pieces of advice and instructions" -> "valuable guidance and instructions"
    Explanation: This change simplifies and refines the phrase for a more academic tone.

  19. "lessen this problem" -> "mitigate this issue"
    Explanation: "Lessen this problem" can be replaced with "mitigate this issue" for greater precision and formality.

  20. "thrive in their academic pursuits" -> "excel in their academic endeavors"
    Explanation: "Thrive" is slightly informal. "Excel" is more precise and maintains academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all aspects of the prompt. It discusses why students find studying at university or college more challenging than at school and proposes practical solutions to alleviate this issue. The essay acknowledges the transition from basic foundational subjects to specialized knowledge and provides examples to support the argument.
    • How to improve: While the essay comprehensively covers the prompt, enhancing the depth of analysis regarding the specific challenges students face during this transition could further strengthen the response. Encouraging the exploration of additional factors contributing to the difficulty level and discussing potential solutions in more detail would enrich the content.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout, asserting that university or college education presents greater challenges due to the need for specialized knowledge acquisition. This position is evident in the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph reinforces the central idea without ambiguity.
    • How to improve: To further bolster clarity, ensuring that each paragraph directly supports the main argument and avoids tangential discussions would enhance the coherence of the essay. Additionally, explicitly restating the thesis in the conclusion can reinforce the essay’s stance and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas with relevant examples and explanations. Each paragraph introduces a new concept or solution, elaborates on it, and provides supporting evidence. The use of specific examples, such as medical research, study groups, and relationships with instructors, enhances the depth of discussion.
    • How to improve: While the essay demonstrates a strong foundation in presenting and supporting ideas, incorporating counterarguments or addressing potential limitations of the proposed solutions could enrich the analysis. Including a brief exploration of alternative perspectives would demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a strong focus on the given topic throughout the response. It consistently addresses why studying at university or college is more challenging than at school and offers practical solutions to mitigate this issue. There are no significant deviations from the main theme, ensuring relevance and coherence.
    • How to improve: To further ensure adherence to the topic, maintaining a clear connection between each solution proposed and its relevance to the overarching problem would enhance the essay’s coherence. Additionally, avoiding repetition of ideas and maintaining a logical progression of arguments can contribute to a more cohesive narrative.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the prompt, effectively addressing each aspect while providing thoughtful insights and practical solutions. To improve further, the essay could deepen its analysis, enhance clarity, consider alternative perspectives, and maintain a seamless progression of ideas.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable level of logical organization. It begins with an introduction that sets up the discussion, followed by clear body paragraphs addressing reasons for the difficulty of studying in university or college and proposed solutions. Each paragraph builds upon the previous one, providing a coherent progression of ideas.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph’s topic sentence clearly introduces the main idea of the paragraph, and subsequent sentences provide supporting details in a logical order. Additionally, consider using transition phrases to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs for a seamless flow of thought.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate distinct ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, such as reasons for the difficulty of studying and proposed solutions. However, some paragraphs could benefit from stronger topic sentences to clearly establish the main idea.
    • How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main point of the paragraph. Additionally, consider using concluding sentences to summarize the key points and transition to the next paragraph.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Examples include transitional phrases like "despite," "first of all," "besides," and "finally," which help guide the reader through the progression of arguments. Additionally, the use of pronouns such as "they" and "this" helps to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, enhancing clarity.
    • How to improve: While the essay effectively uses cohesive devices, further diversification could enhance coherence. Consider incorporating a wider range of transition words and phrases to provide smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensure that pronouns and other cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to avoid confusion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, with clear organization and effective use of cohesive devices. By strengthening paragraph structure and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay can further improve its coherence and cohesion to achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating specialized terms such as "domain knowledge," "synthesize medicine," and "adversities." Additionally, it employs various synonyms and phrases to express ideas, enhancing the overall lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To further enrich the lexical resource, consider incorporating more academic terminology and nuanced vocabulary specific to the subject matter. Additionally, integrating idiomatic expressions and collocations can enhance the sophistication of language use.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary precisely to convey ideas. For instance, it accurately employs terms like "specialized knowledge" and "establishing study groups" to articulate concepts. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise, such as the use of "massive difficulties," which could be substituted with a more precise descriptor.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, ensure that each word used aligns precisely with the intended meaning. Avoid generic terms where specific vocabulary can clarify ideas. Utilize synonyms and related terms accurately to express nuanced distinctions.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy with minimal errors. However, there are a few instances where minor spelling errors occur, such as "collage" instead of "college." These errors do not significantly detract from comprehension but indicate the need for careful proofreading.
    • How to improve: To maintain consistently correct spelling, utilize spelling and grammar checkers, proofread diligently, and consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors. Developing a habit of reviewing written work systematically can help identify and rectify spelling errors effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, incorporating simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively. For instance, it employs simple sentences to convey straightforward ideas, such as "There is one major reason why students find learning in the university or college more difficult than it was in school." Additionally, it utilizes compound sentences, like "Despite massive difficulties in acquiring knowledge, there are several practical measures for students to deal with this problem," to present contrasting or related ideas. Moreover, complex sentences are employed to elaborate on concepts and provide detailed explanations, such as "Take those who want to become medical researchers as an example, they have to become proficient in the particular function of each medical ingredient to synthesize medicine."
    • How to improve: To further enhance the essay’s effectiveness, consider incorporating a mix of sentence structures within paragraphs to maintain reader engagement and vary the rhythm of the text. Additionally, strive to integrate more complex sentence structures, such as those containing subordinate clauses or participial phrases, to convey ideas with greater sophistication and depth.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few noticeable errors. Sentences are well-structured, and verb tense usage is consistent throughout. For example, "There is one major reason why students find learning in the university or college more difficult than it was in school" maintains grammatical coherence. Additionally, punctuation is generally used appropriately to enhance clarity and readability.
    • How to improve: While the essay exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, minor improvements could be made to enhance precision further. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency in pronoun usage. For instance, in the sentence "As they collaborate and support each other, they can fill in knowledge gaps," ensure that pronouns are clearly referencing the appropriate antecedents to avoid ambiguity. Furthermore, consider incorporating a wider range of punctuation marks, such as dashes or colons, to add variety and nuance to sentence structure where appropriate.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some students argue that studying at university or college is more challenging than it was at school. The reason for this difficulty lies in the need to acquire both academic and specialized knowledge. This essay will propose practical strategies to address this issue.

One significant factor contributing to the perceived difficulty is the shift from foundational studies, including mathematics, physics, and biology in high school, to the acquisition of specialized knowledge in their chosen fields of study at university or college. For instance, those aspiring to become medical researchers must become proficient in the specific functions of various medical compounds, which builds upon foundational disciplines studied in high school. This specialized knowledge demands a deeper level of insight, making studying more demanding.

Despite the significant challenges in knowledge acquisition, there are practical measures students can take to mitigate this issue. Firstly, forming study groups is an effective approach. By collaborating and providing mutual support, students can address knowledge gaps and strengthen weaknesses, enabling them to excel academically. Additionally, seeking credible educational resources beforehand, which can be accessed online or obtained from experienced individuals, can provide valuable guidance and instructions, helping to alleviate challenges in studying. Finally, building strong relationships with supervisors and instructors can also provide valuable support, as they can offer valuable advice and instructions.

In conclusion, while acquiring advanced and specialized knowledge at university or college presents challenges, implementing these approaches can not only help students overcome these challenges but also excel in their academic endeavors.

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