Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on junior workers’ tendency for job hopping. This essay will discuss the motives behind this situation and prove that it has more benefits than drawbacks.
There are several reasons for this phenomenon, but one of the primary reasons is the desire for personal growth and development. Many young people today seek opportunities that challenge them and help them acquire new skills so they are willing to switch jobs and even careers to achieve this. Another reason for this trend is the lack of job satisfaction. To illustrate, many people are not satisfied with factors such as low salary, working time, working environment or not being able to get along with their surrounding colleagues. For example, many employees in HCMC factories leave their jobs on the grounds of low monthly base salary and lack of opportunities to work overtime to earn more income.
The primary advantage of changing jobs frequently is greater career satisfaction. To be more specific, When exploring different career paths, young individuals can increase their chances of finding a fulfilling and engaging job that suits them. As a result, they can avoid pressure and put more effort into their job. Another advantage of this trend is enhancing diverse skill sets and adaptability. By being exposed to various industries, roles, and companies that acquire a broad range of skills and knowledge, youngsters can be more adaptable and valuable in the job market.

Despite the advantages mentioned above, the disadvantages of job hopping should not be ignored. It is undeniable that job hopping will affect youngsters' careers. This is because when young employees regularly move to another company, they cannot acquire in-depth knowledge about job-related skills. Therefore, it can be said that by regularly changing their workplace, young individuals can slow down their careers’ progress. For example, my cousin who started working five years back kept on altering his job. Consequently, he has achieved nothing in his career and has not learned any skills.
In conclusion, the desire for personal development and less job satisfaction are the primary reasons for job hopping. And it depends on individuals' career prospects to consider its benefits and drawbacks before deciding to switch jobs.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"job hopping" -> "frequent job changes"
Explanation: While "job hopping" is a colloquial term, in academic writing, a more formal term like "frequent job changes" maintains a professional tone and avoids informal language.
"prove that it has more benefits than drawbacks" -> "argue that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages"
Explanation: "Prove" may suggest a level of certainty that might not be entirely supportable. Using "argue" maintains an academic tone, and "advantages outweigh the disadvantages" is a more formal way to express the balance between benefits and drawbacks.
"young people" -> "young individuals" or "youth"
Explanation: To enhance formality, replacing "young people" with "young individuals" or "youth" provides a more professional and academic tone.
"but one of the primary reasons is" -> "however, one of the main reasons is"
Explanation: "But" might be considered slightly informal in academic writing. Using "however" maintains a more formal tone. Additionally, replacing "primary" with "main" helps maintain clarity without losing meaning.
"Many young people today seek opportunities" -> "Numerous young individuals today pursue opportunities"
Explanation: Replacing "Many young people" with "Numerous young individuals" and changing "seek" to "pursue" provides a more formal and precise expression.
"not being able to get along with their surrounding colleagues" -> "inability to foster positive relationships with colleagues"
Explanation: To avoid colloquial language, replacing "not being able to get along with" with "inability to foster positive relationships with" maintains a formal tone and clarity.
"employees in HCMC factories leave their jobs on the grounds of low monthly base salary" -> "workers in HCMC factories resign due to inadequate monthly base salaries"
Explanation: The phrase "leave their jobs on the grounds of" can be replaced with "resign due to." Additionally, "employees" can be replaced with "workers," and using "inadequate monthly base salaries" maintains a formal tone.
"greater career satisfaction" -> "heightened career satisfaction"
Explanation: The use of "greater" can be replaced with "heightened" to maintain formality while conveying the idea of increased career satisfaction.
"When exploring different career paths" -> "By exploring various career paths"
Explanation: The phrase "When exploring" can be modified to "By exploring" for a more direct and formal expression.
"youngsters" -> "young individuals"
Explanation: Replacing "youngsters" with "young individuals" aligns better with academic writing standards by using a more formal term.
"young employees regularly move to another company" -> "young employees frequently switch companies"
Explanation: Replacing "regularly move to another company" with "frequently switch companies" maintains formality and clarity.
"it can be said that by regularly changing their workplace" -> "consistently changing their workplace can"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality, using "consistently changing their workplace" instead of "regularly" and restructuring the sentence for a more formal tone.
"achieved nothing in his career" -> "made minimal progress in his career"
Explanation: The phrase "achieved nothing in his career" can be replaced with "made minimal progress in his career" to maintain a formal tone while conveying a similar meaning.
"And it depends on individuals’ career prospects to consider its benefits and drawbacks before deciding to switch jobs." -> "Ultimately, individuals should consider their career prospects when weighing the benefits and drawbacks of switching jobs."
Explanation: Rephrasing the sentence for better clarity and formality, avoiding the use of "And" to begin a sentence in an academic context, and reorganizing the structure for a more formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Quoted text: "This essay will discuss the motives behind this situation and prove that it has more benefits than drawbacks."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction is clear in stating the writer’s position; however, the phrase "prove that it has more benefits than drawbacks" might be too absolute. Consider a more moderate expression such as "argue that it generally offers more advantages than disadvantages." This allows room for a balanced discussion without sounding conclusive from the outset.
- Improved example: "This essay will discuss the motives behind this situation and argue that, on the whole, it tends to offer more benefits than drawbacks."
Quoted text: "To illustrate, many people are not satisfied with factors such as low salary, working time, working environment or not being able to get along with their surrounding colleagues."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While you have provided examples, it would strengthen your argument to include more specific and personal examples or anecdotes. For instance, share a personal experience or a detailed scenario that illustrates the impact of these factors on job satisfaction.
- Improved example: "For instance, a friend of mine faced dissatisfaction due to a low salary, long working hours, and a challenging working environment. This personal experience highlights the significant role these factors play in job-hopping decisions."
Quoted text: "This is because when young employees regularly move to another company, they cannot acquire in-depth knowledge about job-related skills."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While the point is valid, it lacks depth. Elaborate on why in-depth knowledge is crucial for career progression. Provide a concrete example or explain how a lack of in-depth knowledge can limit professional growth.
- Improved example: "This is because when young employees frequently change companies, they miss the opportunity to delve deeply into specific job-related skills. For instance, my cousin’s constant job changes prevented him from mastering a particular skill set, hindering his career advancement."

Overall, the essay addresses all parts of the task, presents a clear position, and provides relevant examples. However, enhancing the examples with more specific and personal details and refining the language for a more moderate tone can further improve the overall Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, ensuring a clear progression throughout. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, although there are instances of slight underuse and repetition. The central topic within each paragraph is generally clear. Paragraphing is mostly logical, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider refining the use of cohesive devices for more consistency. Address instances of slight underuse and repetition to achieve a more polished and cohesive flow. Additionally, ensure that paragraphing is consistently logical throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in expression. The writer uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. There is a notable attempt to convey ideas with a variety of words, contributing to a clear and coherent argument. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and word formation that slightly impact the overall lexical resource.

The essay effectively discusses the motives behind job hopping, highlighting reasons such as personal growth, lack of job satisfaction, and the advantages and disadvantages associated with this trend. The use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, with attempts at more sophisticated language. Examples, like the illustration of dissatisfaction with factors such as low salary and working conditions, contribute to a nuanced discussion.

The writer successfully addresses the advantages of changing jobs, emphasizing greater career satisfaction and the development of diverse skill sets. The disadvantages, particularly the impact on career progress, are also adequately presented. The overall lexical resource demonstrates a good command of vocabulary for the task.

How to improve:
To further enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim for more precision in word choice and avoid occasional inaccuracies. Proofreading for minor errors in spelling and word formation would contribute to a more polished and refined essay. Additionally, incorporating a wider variety of uncommon lexical items with a heightened awareness of style and collocation could elevate the lexical resource to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.5

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of sentence structures, incorporating both simple and complex forms. There’s an attempt to use varied sentence structures, but some errors in grammar and punctuation are noticeable. While there are occasional errors, they don’t significantly hinder communication.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining complex sentence structures and paying closer attention to grammatical details. Proofreading for punctuation errors and refining the use of more intricate sentence forms will elevate the score. Additionally, ensuring consistency in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay will enhance clarity and coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary times, there is a growing focus on the tendency of young workers to change jobs frequently. This essay aims to explore the reasons behind this phenomenon and argue that its advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

One primary motivation for job hopping among young people is the pursuit of personal growth and development. Many individuals in today’s workforce actively seek opportunities that challenge them and enable the acquisition of new skills. Consequently, they are willing to switch jobs or even change careers to achieve these goals. Another contributing factor to this trend is dissatisfaction with current employment. For instance, factors like inadequate salary, working hours, unfavorable working conditions, or difficulties in getting along with colleagues can prompt individuals to seek alternative employment. A case in point is the high number of employees in HCMC factories leaving their jobs due to low monthly salaries and a lack of opportunities for overtime earnings.

The foremost advantage of changing jobs frequently lies in the attainment of greater career satisfaction. By exploring different career paths, young individuals increase their chances of finding a fulfilling and engaging job that aligns with their aspirations. This, in turn, allows them to work with less stress and invest more effort into their chosen profession. Additionally, regularly changing jobs enhances diverse skill sets and adaptability. Exposure to various industries, roles, and companies equips youngsters with a broad range of skills and knowledge, making them more adaptable and valuable in the job market.

However, it is essential to acknowledge the disadvantages of job hopping. Undoubtedly, frequent job changes can impact the overall trajectory of youngsters’ careers. When individuals move from one company to another regularly, they may struggle to acquire in-depth knowledge of job-related skills, potentially slowing down their career progression. A real-life example is my cousin, who has been working for five years and has continuously switched jobs, resulting in a lack of career achievements and skill development.

In conclusion, the pursuit of personal development and dissatisfaction with current jobs are the primary drivers of job hopping among young people. Whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages depends on individuals’ career goals, urging them to carefully consider the potential benefits and drawbacks before deciding to switch jobs.