More and more people are choosing to study online. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of online learning.

In contemporary times, studying online has become common for the education, especially after the Covid-19. Therefore, an increasing of students tends to attend online classes rather than learning face to face. In this essay, I’ll discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this teaching method.
On the one hand, online learning is advantageous.
One main merit is the flexibility it can provide for leaners. With the growing of Internet, seeking for various lessons has been more accessible due to the enormous information given by the experts with no distant barriers. Furthermore, students can be active at any period of time in a day through a tablet or a mobile phone, which means that they can attend the classes anywhere, such as home or café.
Another benefit of online courses is cost-efficient. Moving far from home to university often requires high expenses like renting a flat or spending for public transportation. Therefore, offering online classes would save money for students by giving them a way to study through online platforms, which is also more convenient because they can easily receive and hand in the tasks for the lecturers.
On the other hand, online learning is disadvantageous. Firstly, online classes often lack of communication and contact with everyone. Only through the screen can limit the chance for individuals to interact with the professionals, also affects the outcomes and understanding of the courses. Additionally, the presence at the study place creates an opportunity to build more relationships and become more confident.
Secondly, studying at home can have difficulties to concentrate on the class. Students may easily be distracted by their surroundings or the feelings of sleep, as a result, they can not pay the attention effectively to the information. Furthermore, being non-supervision by teacher, they tend to neglect the lesson and only focus on their favorite activities such as playing games and watching TV.
To sum up, with the evolution of technology, digital equipment has become a crucial part in our life, especially in educational aspect. Although online classes have some advantages in some circumstances, I strongly believe that traditional classes can utilize the better performances for students.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In contemporary times" -> "In the contemporary era"
Explanation: "In the contemporary era" is a more formal and precise phrase that enhances the academic tone of the introduction.
"especially after the Covid-19" -> "particularly since the COVID-19 pandemic"
Explanation: "Particularly since the COVID-19 pandemic" is more specific and formal, avoiding the colloquial and vague "after the Covid-19."
"an increasing of students" -> "an increasing number of students"
Explanation: "An increasing number of students" is grammatically correct and clearer, avoiding the awkward and incorrect "an increasing of students."
"tends to attend" -> "tend to attend"
Explanation: "Tend to attend" is the correct form for the plural subject "students," aligning with grammatical rules.
"leaners" -> "learners"
Explanation: "Learners" is the correct term for those who learn, whereas "leaners" is a misnomer and sounds informal.
"With the growing of Internet" -> "With the growth of the Internet"
Explanation: "With the growth of the Internet" is grammatically correct and more formal, replacing the awkward and incorrect "With the growing of Internet."
"seeking for" -> "seeking"
Explanation: "Seeking" is sufficient without the preposition "for," making the phrase more concise and formal.
"no distant barriers" -> "no geographical barriers"
Explanation: "Geographical barriers" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than the vague "distant barriers."
"can be active at any period of time" -> "can be active at any time"
Explanation: "At any time" is a more natural and formal expression than "at any period of time," which is redundant.
"spending for public transportation" -> "spending on public transportation"
Explanation: "On" is the correct preposition for indicating the cost of something, such as public transportation, rather than "for."
"often lack of communication" -> "often lack communication"
Explanation: "Lack of communication" is grammatically correct and more formal than "lack of communication," which is awkwardly phrased.
"Only through the screen can limit" -> "Only through the screen limits"
Explanation: "Limits" should be used as a verb to correctly describe the action of restricting interaction, rather than as a noun.
"the presence at the study place" -> "being present at the study location"
Explanation: "Being present at the study location" is more formal and precise than "the presence at the study place," which is awkwardly phrased.
"can not pay the attention effectively" -> "cannot pay attention effectively"
Explanation: "Cannot" is the correct form for negation in formal writing, and "pay attention" is a more idiomatic expression than "pay the attention."
"being non-supervision by teacher" -> "lacking teacher supervision"
Explanation: "Lacking teacher supervision" is grammatically correct and clearer than the awkward and incorrect "being non-supervision by teacher."
"utilize the better performances" -> "optimize their performance"
Explanation: "Optimize their performance" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "utilize the better performances," which is vague and awkwardly phrased.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of online learning, fulfilling the requirements of the prompt. The author identifies key benefits such as flexibility and cost-efficiency, while also discussing drawbacks like lack of communication and difficulties in concentration. However, the exploration of disadvantages could be more balanced with the advantages, as the essay spends slightly more time on the positive aspects without equally weighing the negative ones.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim for a more balanced discussion by ensuring that each point made about advantages is matched with a corresponding disadvantage. This could involve expanding on the disadvantages with additional examples or details to provide a more comprehensive view.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that while online learning has its benefits, traditional classes may offer better outcomes for students. This position is stated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion. However, the transition between discussing advantages and disadvantages could be smoother to maintain the clarity of the argument throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer could use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For example, explicitly stating how the disadvantages counterbalance the advantages would help reinforce the overall stance. Additionally, reiterating the position in the body paragraphs could strengthen the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits and drawbacks of online learning, such as flexibility and cost savings, as well as issues of communication and concentration. However, some points lack depth and specific examples that could enhance the argument. For instance, while the author mentions distractions at home, providing specific scenarios or statistics could strengthen this point.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with concrete examples or evidence. For instance, discussing specific studies or surveys that highlight the effectiveness of traditional versus online learning could provide stronger support for the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of online learning as requested by the prompt. However, some sentences, particularly in the introduction and conclusion, could be more directly tied to the central theme. For example, the mention of technology’s evolution in the conclusion, while relevant, could be more explicitly connected to the discussion of online learning.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every part of the essay directly relates back to the prompt. This can be achieved by revisiting the main topic in each paragraph and ensuring that all examples and points made are clearly linked to the advantages and disadvantages of online learning.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument. With improvements in balance, depth of support, and focus, the writer could enhance the effectiveness of their response and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The logical progression from the introduction to the discussion of benefits and drawbacks is generally effective. However, the transition between points could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing advantages to disadvantages could benefit from a clearer linking sentence that signals the change in focus.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "Conversely" or "On the other hand" at the beginning of the paragraph discussing disadvantages. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea will help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs appropriately, with separate sections for advantages and disadvantages. Each paragraph contains multiple sentences that elaborate on the main idea. However, some paragraphs could be further developed to ensure that each point is fully explored. For example, the paragraph on disadvantages introduces two main points but could benefit from further elaboration on how these issues specifically impact students’ learning experiences.
- How to improve: To strengthen paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples. For instance, in the disadvantages paragraph, after stating that online classes lack communication, provide specific examples or scenarios illustrating how this affects students’ learning. This will create a more robust discussion and enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to contrast the advantages and disadvantages. However, there is a limited variety of cohesive devices used throughout the essay. For example, the use of conjunctions and linking words is somewhat repetitive, which can detract from the overall fluency of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "Furthermore," consider alternatives like "In addition," "Moreover," or "Additionally." Additionally, using phrases like "This means that" or "As a result" can help clarify relationships between ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to an improved band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "flexibility," "cost-efficient," and "difficulties to concentrate." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. For instance, phrases like "an increasing of students" and "the enormous information given by the experts" could be expressed with more varied vocabulary. The use of "advantages" and "disadvantages" is appropriate, but the essay could benefit from synonyms or more descriptive phrases to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more advanced vocabulary. For example, instead of "an increasing of students," the writer could say "a growing number of students." Additionally, using phrases like "numerous benefits" or "significant drawbacks" could enhance the essay’s lexical variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, "the growing of Internet" should be "the growth of the Internet," and "lack of communication and contact with everyone" could be more precisely stated as "lack of communication and interaction with peers and instructors." The phrase "the feelings of sleep" is awkward and unclear; a more precise expression would be "feelings of drowsiness."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using established phrases and collocations. For instance, replacing "the growing of Internet" with "the growth of the Internet" and rephrasing "the feelings of sleep" to "feelings of drowsiness" would improve clarity. Additionally, reviewing common phrases used in academic writing can help in selecting more appropriate vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "leaners" instead of "learners," "distant barriers" instead of "distance barriers," and "non-supervision" which should be "non-supervision." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that provide feedback on written work. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can help catch these errors. Reading more academic texts can also reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written material.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary appropriate for the topic, there is significant room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By expanding vocabulary, using precise language, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and some complex sentences. For instance, the use of "One main merit is the flexibility it can provide for learners" is a straightforward structure, while "With the growing of Internet, seeking for various lessons has been more accessible due to the enormous information given by the experts with no distant barriers" attempts a more complex construction. However, the overall variety is limited, and many sentences are constructed similarly, which can make the writing feel repetitive.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses and varied conjunctions. For example, instead of saying "students can be active at any period of time in a day," the writer could say, "students can engage actively at any time of the day, whether in the comfort of their homes or at a café." Additionally, using a mix of declarative, interrogative, and conditional sentences can enrich the text.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, "an increasing of students tends to attend online classes" should be "an increasing number of students tend to attend online classes." The phrase "the growing of Internet" is incorrect; it should be "the growth of the Internet." Furthermore, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences and confusion. For instance, "Only through the screen can limit the chance for individuals to interact with the professionals, also affects the outcomes and understanding of the courses" lacks clarity and proper punctuation.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. Practicing sentence restructuring can help clarify meaning. Additionally, focusing on punctuation rules, especially regarding commas in complex sentences, will enhance readability. It may be beneficial to proofread the essay or use grammar-checking tools to catch errors before finalizing the text.

In summary, while the essay presents a clear argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of online learning, there is room for improvement in both the variety of sentence structures and grammatical accuracy. By incorporating more complex sentences and addressing grammatical errors, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary era, studying online has become increasingly common for education, particularly since the COVID-19 pandemic. Therefore, an increasing number of students tend to attend online classes rather than engage in face-to-face learning. In this essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this teaching method.

On the one hand, online learning offers several advantages. One main merit is the flexibility it provides for learners. With the growth of the Internet, seeking various lessons has become more accessible due to the vast amount of information available from experts with no geographical barriers. Furthermore, students can be active at any time of the day through a tablet or mobile phone, which means they can attend classes from anywhere, such as home or a café.

Another benefit of online courses is their cost-efficiency. Moving far from home to attend university often incurs high expenses, such as renting a flat or spending on public transportation. Therefore, offering online classes can save money for students by providing them with a way to study through online platforms, which is also more convenient as they can easily receive and submit tasks for their lecturers.

On the other hand, online learning has its disadvantages. Firstly, online classes often lack communication and interaction among participants. Only through the screen can limit the opportunities for individuals to engage with professionals, which can negatively affect their understanding of the courses. Additionally, being present at a study location creates opportunities to build relationships and develop confidence.

Secondly, studying at home can make it difficult to concentrate on the class. Students may easily be distracted by their surroundings or feel sleepy; as a result, they cannot pay attention effectively to the information presented. Furthermore, lacking teacher supervision, they may tend to neglect the lesson and focus instead on their favorite activities, such as playing games or watching TV.

To sum up, with the evolution of technology, digital equipment has become a crucial part of our lives, especially in the educational aspect. Although online classes have some advantages in certain circumstances, I strongly believe that traditional classes can optimize students’ performance more effectively.