More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development?

More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is
this a positive or negative development?

The growing integration of robots into daily tasks, both at home and in the workplace,
is an inevitable trend of modern life. I believe this is a positive development.
One of the most prominent advantages of robots taking over tasks is the increase in

efficiency and productivity. In the workplace, robots can perform repetitive and labor-
intensive tasks much faster and more accurately than humans. For instance, in

manufacturing industries, robots are capable of assembling products at an unmatched
speed, reducing production times and boosting output. This increase in efficiency not
only benefits businesses by reducing costs but also improves the availability and
affordability of goods for consumers.
Another conspicuous benefit is the improvement in safety. In industries such as
construction, mining, or even healthcare, robots are increasingly being used to perform
dangerous tasks, thus reducing the risk of injury or death for human workers. For
example, robots are commonly used to handle hazardous materials in factories, which
significantly reduces the number of workplace accidents.
Despite these benefits, the issue of job displacement is a valid concern. As robots take
over more tasks, many workers, especially those in low-skill industries, may find
themselves out of work. To illustrate, self-checkout systems in supermarkets have led
to a reduction in the number of cashier jobs, while automated production lines have
lessened the need for manual labour. This shift could exacerbate unemployment rates,
particularly in sectors where retraining workers for new roles is challenging.
In conclusion, the increasing use of robots in both personal and professional
environments offers clear advantages in terms of efficiency and safety, making this a
positive development overall. However, the issue of job displacement should not be
discounted altogether.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "is an inevitable trend of modern life" -> "is an inevitable aspect of modern life"
   Explanation: The phrase "trend of modern life" is somewhat vague and informal. "Aspect of modern life" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

2. "I believe this is a positive development." -> "This is a positive development."
   Explanation: Removing the first-person pronoun "I" makes the statement more objective and formal, suitable for academic writing.

3. "One of the most prominent advantages" -> "One significant advantage"
   Explanation: Simplifying "most prominent" to "significant" maintains the emphasis without sounding overly dramatic, which is more appropriate for academic tone.

4. "labor-intensive tasks" -> "labor-intensive processes"
   Explanation: "Processes" is a more precise term in this context, referring to the methods or procedures involved in tasks, which is more specific and formal.

5. "much faster and more accurately" -> "significantly faster and more accurately"
   Explanation: "Significantly" adds a quantitative dimension to the comparison, enhancing the precision and formality of the statement.

6. "boosting output" -> "enhancing productivity"
   Explanation: "Enhancing productivity" is a more formal and precise term than "boosting output," which is somewhat colloquial.

7. "Another conspicuous benefit" -> "Another notable benefit"
   Explanation: "Conspicuous" can imply something that is noticeable because of its unusualness, which may not be the intended meaning here. "Notable" is more neutral and appropriate for formal writing.

8. "dangerous tasks" -> "hazardous tasks"
   Explanation: "Hazardous" is a more specific and formal term than "dangerous," which is commonly used in academic and professional contexts.

9. "thus reducing the risk of injury or death" -> "thereby reducing the risk of injury or fatality"
   Explanation: "Thereby" is a more formal conjunction than "thus," and "fatality" is a more precise term than "death" in formal writing.

10. "handle hazardous materials" -> "manage hazardous materials"
    Explanation: "Manage" is a more precise verb in this context, indicating a more controlled and formal handling of hazardous materials.

11. "significantly reduces" -> "substantially reduces"
    Explanation: "Substantially" is a more formal synonym for "significantly," aligning better with academic style.

12. "lessened the need for manual labour" -> "reduced the need for manual labor"
    Explanation: "Reduced" is more commonly used in formal writing than "lessened," and "labor" is the preferred spelling in American English, which is often used in academic contexts.

13. "making this a positive development overall" -> "rendering this a positive development overall"
    Explanation: "Rendering" is a more formal verb than "making," and it adds a sense of causality to the statement, which is more suitable for academic analysis.

14. "should not be discounted altogether" -> "should not be entirely disregarded"
    Explanation: "Entirely disregarded" is a more formal expression than "discounted altogether," which is somewhat colloquial and less precise.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive aspects of robots in daily tasks and acknowledging the negative implications, particularly job displacement. The introduction clearly states a position in favor of robots, and the body paragraphs provide specific examples of benefits, such as increased efficiency and safety. However, while the essay mentions job displacement, it could delve deeper into the negative consequences to achieve a more balanced view.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include more detailed examples or statistics regarding job displacement, perhaps discussing potential solutions or ways to mitigate this issue. This would provide a more comprehensive examination of both sides of the argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the integration of robots is a positive development. The stance is consistently reinforced throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion. However, the acknowledgment of job displacement, while valid, could be perceived as a slight wavering from the main argument.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could frame the discussion of job displacement as a challenge that can be addressed rather than a counterargument. This would help maintain focus on the overall positive stance while still recognizing the complexity of the issue.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-developed ideas, particularly regarding efficiency and safety. Each point is supported with relevant examples, such as the use of robots in manufacturing and hazardous material handling. However, the discussion on job displacement could benefit from further elaboration, as it currently feels somewhat underdeveloped compared to the benefits.
  • How to improve: The writer should aim to provide more depth in the discussion of job displacement, perhaps by including potential impacts on the economy or society as a whole, and suggesting ways to adapt to these changes. This would create a more balanced and nuanced argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of robots in daily tasks and their implications. The writer successfully avoids straying into unrelated areas, maintaining relevance throughout. However, the brief mention of job displacement could lead to a more in-depth exploration that might risk deviating from the main focus.
  • How to improve: To ensure that the essay stays tightly on topic, the writer could integrate the discussion of job displacement more seamlessly into the overall argument. For example, linking it back to the benefits discussed earlier by suggesting how society can adapt to these changes would help maintain focus while still addressing the complexity of the issue.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a clear argument, but it could be improved by providing a more balanced exploration of both the positive and negative aspects of robot integration, particularly in terms of job displacement.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the author’s stance. Each body paragraph addresses a specific point: the benefits of robots in terms of efficiency and safety, followed by a counterpoint regarding job displacement. This organization allows the reader to easily follow the argument. For example, the transition from discussing efficiency in manufacturing to safety in hazardous jobs is smooth and coherent, demonstrating a well-thought-out progression of ideas.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider incorporating transitional phrases that explicitly connect the points. For instance, after discussing efficiency, a phrase like "In addition to efficiency, another significant advantage is…" could further clarify the relationship between the points. Additionally, a more explicit connection between the benefits and the counterargument could strengthen the overall coherence.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples. The introduction sets the stage, while the conclusion succinctly summarizes the argument. However, the body paragraphs could be more distinct in their thematic focus. For instance, the paragraph discussing job displacement could be expanded to include more nuanced perspectives or examples.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph not only introduces a new idea but also includes a concluding sentence that ties back to the overall argument. This would reinforce the connection between the points made and the thesis. Additionally, consider using subheadings in longer essays to further clarify the structure, although this is less common in IELTS essays.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "for instance," "despite these benefits," and "in conclusion," which help to guide the reader through the argument. These devices effectively link sentences and paragraphs, contributing to the overall coherence. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to include more varied connectors, which would enhance the sophistication of the writing.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "for instance," consider alternatives like "for example," "to illustrate," or "as a case in point." Additionally, using contrasting phrases such as "on the other hand" or "in contrast" when discussing job displacement could provide clearer transitions between opposing viewpoints.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, meriting a Band Score of 8. By refining transitions, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay could achieve even greater clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms such as "integration," "inevitable," "efficiency," "repetitive," "labor-intensive," and "displacement." These words contribute to a sophisticated tone and convey complex ideas clearly. The use of phrases like "unmatched speed" and "conspicuous benefit" further illustrates the writer’s ability to select appropriate vocabulary that enhances the argument.
  • How to improve: To elevate the lexical resource even further, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "tasks," alternatives like "duties," "responsibilities," or "functions" could be used. Additionally, integrating idiomatic expressions or collocations related to technology and automation could enrich the essay’s vocabulary.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision. Terms like "hazardous materials" and "job displacement" are used accurately within context, effectively conveying the intended meaning. However, the phrase "lessened the need for manual labour" could be interpreted as slightly vague; it might benefit from a more precise term to clarify the extent of the reduction.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on context-specific vocabulary. For example, instead of "lessened," using "diminished" or "reduced significantly" could provide clearer meaning. Additionally, ensuring that all technical terms are well-defined or explained could help maintain clarity and precision throughout the essay.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "integration," "efficiency," "productivity," and "displacement" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
  • How to improve: While the spelling is currently accurate, the writer should continue to practice spelling, particularly for more complex or less common vocabulary. Regularly reviewing commonly misspelled words and utilizing tools like spell checkers or writing software can help maintain this level of accuracy. Additionally, engaging in reading diverse texts can reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written material.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By incorporating a wider range of vocabulary, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further improve their lexical resource in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For example, complex sentences such as "As robots take over more tasks, many workers, especially those in low-skill industries, may find themselves out of work" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, such as "This shift could exacerbate unemployment rates," adds depth to the argument. The essay also employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, which contributes to its overall fluency.
  • How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For instance, using participial phrases or adverbial clauses could enhance the complexity. An example could be: "While robots enhance efficiency, the potential for job displacement remains a pressing issue." This would not only increase the range of structures but also improve the cohesiveness of ideas.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors present. For instance, the subject-verb agreement is consistently correct, as seen in sentences like "robots can perform repetitive and labor-intensive tasks." Punctuation is also handled well, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and enhance readability. However, there are minor issues, such as the hyphenation in "labor-intensive," which is correctly used but could be reviewed for consistency in style.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy further, pay attention to the use of commas in complex sentences. For example, in the sentence "In industries such as construction, mining, or even healthcare, robots are increasingly being used to perform dangerous tasks," ensure that the list is punctuated correctly. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules for introductory phrases and clauses can help refine the essay. Regular practice with grammar exercises focused on complex sentence structures will also aid in maintaining high accuracy.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. By incorporating more varied sentence structures and refining punctuation usage, the writer can further elevate the quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The growing integration of robots into daily tasks, both at home and in the workplace, is an inevitable aspect of modern life. I believe this is a positive development.

One significant advantage of robots taking over tasks is the increase in efficiency and productivity. In the workplace, robots can perform repetitive and labor-intensive processes significantly faster and more accurately than humans. For instance, in manufacturing industries, robots are capable of assembling products at an unmatched speed, thereby reducing production times and boosting output. This increase in efficiency not only benefits businesses by reducing costs but also enhances the availability and affordability of goods for consumers.

Another notable benefit is the improvement in safety. In industries such as construction, mining, or even healthcare, robots are increasingly being used to perform hazardous tasks, thereby reducing the risk of injury or fatality for human workers. For example, robots are commonly used to manage hazardous materials in factories, which substantially reduces the number of workplace accidents.

Despite these benefits, the issue of job displacement is a valid concern. As robots take over more tasks, many workers, especially those in low-skill industries, may find themselves out of work. To illustrate, self-checkout systems in supermarkets have led to a reduction in the number of cashier jobs, while automated production lines have reduced the need for manual labor. This shift could exacerbate unemployment rates, particularly in sectors where retraining workers for new roles is challenging.

In conclusion, the increasing use of robots in both personal and professional environments offers clear advantages in terms of efficiency and safety, rendering this a positive development overall. However, the issue of job displacement should not be entirely disregarded.