Nikola Tes,a

Nikola Tes,a

In Smiljan, a village in rural Croatia, where the family of a Serbian Orthodox priest, was born, and it was the boy who discovered, designed and developed the ideas for many inventions, important person who changed the world named Nikola Tesla. He is the second son in a family with two boys and three girls. His childhood was marred by the death of his older brother, a difficult relationship with his parents, and a serious illness at age 12.

Tesla grew up an imaginative child, became fluent in six languages, and developed a passion for strange mechanical devices.Between the ages of 10 and 14, Tesla attended school in the town of Gospic, graduating as an excellent student who taught himself as much outside the classroom as he did in it. During the next three years to training for an engineering career, he attended the Technical University at Graz, Australia and the University of Prague. At Graz he first saw the Gramme dynamo, which generated direct current electricity using electromagnets and could also be reversed to operate as an electricity-driven motor, and he conceived a way to use alternating current to advantage. Later, at Budapest, he visualized the principle of the rotating magnetic field and developed plans for an induction motor that would become his first step toward the successful utilization of alternating current.

In 1882 Tesla went to work in Paris for the Continental Edison Company, and, while on assignment to Strassburg in 1883, he constructed, after work hours, his first induction motor. Tesla sailed for America in 1884, arriving in New York with four cents in his pocket, a few of his own poems, and calculations for a flying machine. He first found employment with Thomas Edison, but the two inventors were far apart in background and methods, and their separation was inevitable. After 2 years, Tesla left Edison's laboratory.

In April of 1887 he founded his own company, Tesla Electric Light & Manufacturin. The company installed electric arc lamp lighting systems based on Tesla designs and also designed electric generator rectifiers.

Among them, the alternating current (AC) electrical system designed by Tesla is probably his greatest invention.
Alternating current is usually generated from AC generators or converted from DC power by a dead circuit, often called an inverter.
idea of ​​American engineer and businessman George Westinghouse, who was looking for a solution to supply long-distance electricity to the country. 
Believing in Tesla's inventions, Westinghouse purchased Tesla's patents for $60,000 in cash and stock in Westinghouse Corporation. 
Tesla was persuaded to address the American Institute of Electrical Engineers on May 16, 1888. Tesla's description of the theory and realization of his inventions was greeted as a masterwork; his genius was recognized.

By 1891, he invented the Tesla coil, which was widely used in radios, television sets and other electronic devices. Also in this year, Tesla became a US citizen.

In 1895, Tesla continued to achieve success when his solution was chosen to be installed at one of the first alternating current hydroelectric plants in America, specifically at Niagara Falls. 

By 1899, scientist Nikola Tesla conducted many experiments from a laboratory in Colorado. He proved that electricity could be sent without wires.

Tesla himself also used his invention to research many new concepts such as fluorescence, X-rays, radio rays, wireless electricity and electromagnetism in the Earth…

Even though he had more than 300 patents to his name, at the end of his life Nikola Tesla was still penniless. Tesla was considered a mad scientist. He focused on developing strange ideas and research such as death rays and impenetrable armed walls, which caused investors to gradually turn away and even fire Tesla.oy

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "In Smiljan, a village in rural Croatia, where the family of a Serbian Orthodox priest, was born, and it was the boy who discovered, designed and developed the ideas for many inventions, important person who changed the world named Nikola Tesla." -> "In Smiljan, a rural village in Croatia, where the family of a Serbian Orthodox priest resides, it was the boy who discovered, designed, and developed the ideas for numerous inventions, thereby changing the world, namely Nikola Tesla."
   Explanation: This revision clarifies the sentence structure and removes the informal phrase "important person who changed the world." It also uses "namely" to introduce the proper noun, enhancing formality and clarity.

2. "He is the second son in a family with two boys and three girls." -> "He is the second son in a family comprising two sons and three daughters."
   Explanation: The original phrase is vague and informal. The revised version clarifies the family composition and uses more formal language.

3. "Tesla grew up an imaginative child, became fluent in six languages, and developed a passion for strange mechanical devices." -> "Tesla grew up as an imaginative child, became fluent in six languages, and developed a passion for unusual mechanical devices."
   Explanation: The original phrase "grew up an imaginative child" is grammatically incorrect. The revision corrects this and removes the informal adjective "strange."

4. "Between the ages of 10 and 14, Tesla attended school in the town of Gospic, graduating as an excellent student who taught himself as much outside the classroom as he did in it." -> "Between the ages of 10 and 14, Tesla attended school in Gospic, graduating as an outstanding student who self-taught himself as much outside the classroom as he did in it."
   Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed. The revision simplifies and clarifies the sentence structure, and "self-taught" is a more precise term than "taught himself."

5. "At Graz he first saw the Gramme dynamo, which generated direct current electricity using electromagnets and could also be reversed to operate as an electricity-driven motor, and he conceived a way to use alternating current to advantage." -> "At Graz, he first encountered the Gramme dynamo, which generated direct current electricity using electromagnets and could also be reversed to operate as an electricity-driven motor, and he conceived a method to utilize alternating current to advantage."
   Explanation: The original phrase is verbose and informal. The revision streamlines the sentence and uses more formal vocabulary.

6. "Later, at Budapest, he visualized the principle of the rotating magnetic field and developed plans for an induction motor that would become his first step toward the successful utilization of alternating current." -> "Later, in Budapest, he visualized the principle of the rotating magnetic field and developed plans for an induction motor, which would become his first step toward the successful utilization of alternating current."
   Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly structured. The revision clarifies the sentence and removes the unnecessary repetition of "his."

7. "In 1882 Tesla went to work in Paris for the Continental Edison Company, and, while on assignment to Strassburg in 1883, he constructed, after work hours, his first induction motor." -> "In 1882, Tesla joined the Continental Edison Company in Paris and, while on assignment to Strassburg in 1883, constructed his first induction motor during his free time."
   Explanation: The original phrase is informal and unclear. The revision clarifies the employment and adds a more formal tone.

8. "He first found employment with Thomas Edison, but the two inventors were far apart in background and methods, and their separation was inevitable." -> "He initially worked with Thomas Edison, but the two inventors differed significantly in their backgrounds and approaches, leading to an inevitable separation."
   Explanation: The original phrase is informal and vague. The revision uses more precise language and avoids the colloquial "far apart."

9. "Among them, the alternating current (AC) electrical system designed by Tesla is probably his greatest invention." -> "Among his inventions, the alternating current (AC) electrical system is arguably his most significant invention."
   Explanation: The original phrase is informal and speculative. The revision removes the informal "probably" and uses "arguably" to introduce a more academic tone.

10. "idea of ​​American engineer and businessman George Westinghouse, who was looking for a solution to supply long-distance electricity to the country." -> "idea of American engineer and businessman George Westinghouse, who sought a solution to supply long-distance electricity to the nation."
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and informal. The revision corrects the grammar and uses more formal language.

11. "Believing in Tesla’s inventions, Westinghouse purchased Tesla’s patents for $60,000 in cash and

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the life and contributions of Nikola Tesla, providing a chronological overview of his achievements and inventions. However, it lacks a clear connection to the prompt, which appears to be incomplete or misformatted. The essay does not explicitly state the question or task it is responding to, which can lead to confusion about whether all parts of the question have been answered.
  • How to improve: To improve, ensure that the essay directly responds to a clearly defined prompt. If the prompt asks for an evaluation of Tesla’s impact on technology, for example, the essay should explicitly discuss this impact in each section, linking Tesla’s inventions to their significance in modern society.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay provides a detailed narrative of Tesla’s life and inventions, but it lacks a clear, consistent thesis or position. While it highlights Tesla’s genius and contributions, it does not articulate a specific argument or viewpoint that ties the information together. The reader may struggle to understand the overall message or significance of Tesla’s work.
  • How to improve: Establish a clear thesis statement early in the essay that outlines the main argument or perspective on Tesla’s contributions. Use topic sentences in each paragraph to reinforce this position and ensure that all subsequent information supports the thesis.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a wealth of information about Tesla’s life and inventions, which is commendable. However, many ideas are presented without sufficient elaboration or critical analysis. For instance, the mention of Tesla’s inventions could be enhanced by discussing their impact on modern technology or society, rather than merely listing them.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the essay, provide more in-depth analysis and examples that extend beyond mere description. Discuss the implications of Tesla’s inventions, how they changed industries, or their relevance today. This will help to create a more compelling narrative and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the subject.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on Tesla’s life and inventions. However, there are moments where the narrative becomes somewhat disjointed, particularly towards the end, where the mention of "death rays" and "impenetrable armed walls" feels abrupt and lacks context. This could distract from the main focus on Tesla’s positive contributions to science and technology.
  • How to improve: Maintain a consistent focus by ensuring that all information presented is relevant to the main argument. Avoid introducing tangential topics without adequate explanation. If discussing Tesla’s more controversial ideas, frame them within the context of his overall contributions and how they reflect his innovative thinking.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of Tesla’s life and achievements, it could benefit from clearer organization, a more defined thesis, and deeper analysis of the implications of his work.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a chronological narrative of Nikola Tesla’s life, detailing his early years, education, career, and inventions. This organization generally aids in understanding the progression of Tesla’s achievements. However, the transitions between some sections are abrupt, which can disrupt the flow. For example, the shift from Tesla’s work in Paris to his arrival in America lacks a clear connective explanation, making it feel disjointed.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that summarize the main idea. Additionally, employing transitional phrases (e.g., "Following his time in Paris," or "After arriving in America") can help guide the reader through the narrative more smoothly.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate different phases of Tesla’s life, which is effective. However, some paragraphs are overly long and contain multiple ideas, which can overwhelm the reader. For instance, the paragraph detailing Tesla’s work in Paris and his subsequent move to America could be split into two distinct paragraphs to better emphasize each stage of his career.
  • How to improve: Aim for a more balanced paragraph structure by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea or theme. This can be achieved by identifying the key point of each section and ensuring that supporting details directly relate to that point. Shorter paragraphs can also enhance readability and maintain the reader’s interest.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and referencing, to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is limited, with some sentences feeling choppy or lacking fluidity. For example, the sentence "Tesla himself also used his invention to research many new concepts such as fluorescence, X-rays, radio rays, wireless electricity and electromagnetism in the Earth…" could benefit from more varied connectors to improve flow.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "Moreover," "Consequently"). This will not only enhance the flow between sentences but also clarify the relationships between ideas. Additionally, using pronouns and synonyms can help avoid repetition and create a more cohesive narrative.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of Tesla’s contributions and is organized chronologically, improvements in logical flow, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and coherence, potentially raising the score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "imaginative," "induction motor," and "electromagnets" showcasing some technical knowledge relevant to the subject of Nikola Tesla. However, there are instances where vocabulary choices are repetitive or overly simplistic, such as the frequent use of "electric" and "invention." The essay could benefit from more varied expressions to describe Tesla’s contributions and inventions.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider incorporating synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "electric" and "invention," you could use "electrical," "innovations," "creations," or "developments." Additionally, introducing more descriptive adjectives and adverbs could enrich the narrative, such as "groundbreaking" or "revolutionary" to describe Tesla’s work.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary choices that can lead to confusion. For instance, the phrase "a dead circuit, often called an inverter" is misleading; inverters convert DC to AC, not the other way around. Additionally, the phrase "the idea of American engineer and businessman George Westinghouse" lacks clarity and specificity about how Westinghouse’s ideas relate to Tesla’s work.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, ensure that technical terms are used correctly and that the relationships between concepts are clearly articulated. For example, clarify that Westinghouse was instrumental in promoting Tesla’s AC system rather than implying he originated the idea. It would also be beneficial to define technical terms when first introduced to ensure clarity for readers unfamiliar with the subject.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "Manufacturin" instead of "Manufacturing," and "Strassburg" which should be "Strasbourg." Additionally, the phrase "idea of ​​American engineer" appears to be missing a subject or verb, leading to confusion. Such errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After completing the essay, take a break and then review it with fresh eyes, focusing specifically on spelling and grammar. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can also help identify errors. Furthermore, familiarizing yourself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and employs relevant vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying word choice, ensuring correct usage of technical terms, and carefully proofreading for spelling errors, the overall quality of the writing can be significantly enhanced.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and compound sentences. For example, the sentence "Tesla sailed for America in 1884, arriving in New York with four cents in his pocket, a few of his own poems, and calculations for a flying machine" effectively combines multiple ideas into one coherent thought. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and run-on sentences, such as "In Smiljan, a village in rural Croatia, where the family of a Serbian Orthodox priest, was born, and it was the boy who discovered, designed and developed the ideas for many inventions, important person who changed the world named Nikola Tesla." This sentence is convoluted and could be simplified for clarity.
  • How to improve: To enhance sentence variety, the writer should practice using different sentence beginnings and structures. For instance, starting some sentences with adverbial clauses (e.g., "After arriving in New York, Tesla…") can create a more dynamic flow. Additionally, breaking down overly complex sentences into shorter, clearer ones would improve readability and coherence.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, the phrase "the family of a Serbian Orthodox priest, was born" incorrectly places a comma before "was born," which disrupts the flow of the sentence. Furthermore, there are instances of missing articles, such as "the idea of American engineer and businessman George Westinghouse," which should include "the" before "American engineer." The use of commas is inconsistent, leading to confusion in some sentences.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on understanding the rules of punctuation, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reading well-structured texts can help reinforce these concepts. Additionally, proofreading the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage, would be beneficial. Utilizing grammar-checking tools may also assist in identifying and correcting mistakes before finalizing the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a commendable level of grammatical range and accuracy, addressing the highlighted weaknesses will help elevate the writing quality and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In Smiljan, a rural village in Croatia, where the family of a Serbian Orthodox priest resided, a remarkable boy named Nikola Tesla was born. He discovered, designed, and developed ideas for numerous inventions, making him an important figure who changed the world. Tesla was the second son in a family that included two boys and three girls. His childhood was marked by the tragic death of his older brother, a challenging relationship with his parents, and a serious illness at the age of 12.

Tesla grew up as an imaginative child, became fluent in six languages, and developed a passion for unusual mechanical devices. Between the ages of 10 and 14, he attended school in the town of Gospic, graduating as an outstanding student who self-taught himself as much outside the classroom as he did in it. During the next three years of training for an engineering career, he attended the Technical University at Graz, Austria, and the University of Prague. At Graz, he first encountered the Gramme dynamo, which generated direct current electricity using electromagnets and could also be reversed to operate as an electricity-driven motor. It was here that he conceived a method to utilize alternating current to his advantage. Later, in Budapest, he visualized the principle of the rotating magnetic field and developed plans for an induction motor, which would become his first step toward the successful utilization of alternating current.

In 1882, Tesla began working in Paris for the Continental Edison Company. While on assignment in Strassburg in 1883, he constructed his first induction motor during his free time. Tesla sailed for America in 1884, arriving in New York with just four cents in his pocket, a few of his own poems, and calculations for a flying machine. He initially found employment with Thomas Edison, but the two inventors had vastly different backgrounds and methods, leading to an inevitable separation. After two years, Tesla left Edison’s laboratory.

In April of 1887, he founded his own company, Tesla Electric Light & Manufacturing. The company installed electric arc lamp lighting systems based on Tesla’s designs and also created electric generator rectifiers.

Among his inventions, the alternating current (AC) electrical system is arguably his most significant contribution. Alternating current is typically generated from AC generators or converted from DC power by a device often referred to as an inverter. This idea was supported by American engineer and businessman George Westinghouse, who sought a solution to supply long-distance electricity to the nation. Believing in Tesla’s inventions, Westinghouse purchased Tesla’s patents for $60,000 in cash and stock in the Westinghouse Corporation. Tesla was invited to address the American Institute of Electrical Engineers on May 16, 1888. His description of the theory and realization of his inventions was met with acclaim; his genius was recognized.

By 1891, he invented the Tesla coil, which became widely used in radios, television sets, and other electronic devices. That same year, Tesla became a U.S. citizen.

In 1895, Tesla continued to achieve success when his solution was selected for installation at one of the first alternating current hydroelectric plants in America, specifically at Niagara Falls.

By 1899, Nikola Tesla conducted numerous experiments from a laboratory in Colorado, proving that electricity could be transmitted without wires. He also used his inventions to explore many new concepts such as fluorescence, X-rays, radio waves, wireless electricity, and the electromagnetism of the Earth.

Despite holding over 300 patents, Nikola Tesla died penniless. He was often regarded as a mad scientist, focusing on developing unconventional ideas and research, such as death rays and impenetrable walls, which gradually led investors to turn away from him and even dismiss him from projects.