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Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

In various parts of the world, it is evident that well-known personalities can earn a higher income compared to those in legislative roles. This difference can be attributed to societal perceptions of their professions, and I argue that this tendency has negative implications.

The root cause of the income gap between celebrities and politicians lies in the stigma attached to the latter group. Entertainers, through showcasing their talents and satisfying their fanbase, can enjoy a continuous stream of income without facing public opposition. In contrast, politicians heavily rely on the state budget for their monthly earnings and are strictly prohibited from cultivating commercial connections or earning money from other activities to prevent the misuse of power. For example, Cristiano Ronaldo, in addition to his fixed monthly income from his football club, can earn $2 million from an endorsement post on his social platform, while prominent politicians like Barack Obama might face public debate if they engage in similar endorsement activities.

Nevertheless, the substantial disparity in earnings between celebrities and politicians needs to be addressed. Firstly, government officials who contribute significantly to social welfare deserve a substantial income, motivating them to remain dedicated to their roles and ultimately enhancing the well-being of the people. Secondly, lower pay for politicians may discourage individuals from pursuing a career in politics, hindering the effectiveness of the state system and the sustainable development of the country. This situation can also contribute to materialism, as more people may be drawn towards the alluring lifestyle offered by celebrities.

In conclusion, the fundamental reason behind the income gap between well-known figures and lawmakers is the negative perception surrounding the latter regarding their wealth and how they earn it. This can demotivate talented individuals from joining the government. Therefore, I believe that governments should consider imposing higher income taxes on the earnings of famous stars and simultaneously increase compensation for those leading their nation


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "well-known personalities" -> "renowned individuals"
    Explanation: Substituting "well-known personalities" with "renowned individuals" elevates the formality of the text by using a more sophisticated term that aligns better with an academic or formal context.

  2. "difference can be attributed to" -> "disparity arises from"
    Explanation: Replacing "difference can be attributed to" with "disparity arises from" maintains clarity while employing a more concise and academically appropriate phrase.

  3. "tendency has negative implications" -> "phenomenon bears adverse consequences"
    Explanation: Replacing "tendency has negative implications" with "phenomenon bears adverse consequences" enhances the formality by employing more precise and elevated language suitable for an academic context.

  4. "root cause" -> "primary factor"
    Explanation: Substituting "root cause" with "primary factor" maintains the meaning while using a more formal and academic expression.

  5. "satisfying their fanbase" -> "catering to their fanbase"
    Explanation: Replacing "satisfying their fanbase" with "catering to their fanbase" provides a more formal and precise expression that fits an academic tone.

  6. "heavily rely on" -> "depend extensively on"
    Explanation: Replacing "heavily rely on" with "depend extensively on" maintains the meaning while employing a more formal and academically appropriate phrase.

  7. "might face public debate" -> "could encounter public scrutiny"
    Explanation: Substituting "might face public debate" with "could encounter public scrutiny" enhances the formality and specificity of the statement in an academic context.

  8. "Nevertheless" -> "However"
    Explanation: "Nevertheless" is slightly informal for academic writing. Using "However" maintains coherence while adhering to a more formal tone.

  9. "substantial disparity in earnings" -> "significant discrepancy in income"
    Explanation: Replacing "substantial disparity in earnings" with "significant discrepancy in income" offers a more precise and formal description suitable for academic writing.

  10. "needs to be addressed" -> "requires attention"
    Explanation: Changing "needs to be addressed" to "requires attention" maintains formality and precision in the language, common in academic discourse.

  11. "motivating them to remain dedicated" -> "encouraging their sustained commitment"
    Explanation: Substituting "motivating them to remain dedicated" with "encouraging their sustained commitment" uses a more formal and precise expression fitting for academic writing.

  12. "hindering the effectiveness" -> "impeding the efficiency"
    Explanation: Replacing "hindering the effectiveness" with "impeding the efficiency" offers a more formal and specific term suitable for an academic context.

  13. "lifestyle offered by celebrities" -> "lifestyle presented by celebrities"
    Explanation: Changing "lifestyle offered by celebrities" to "lifestyle presented by celebrities" maintains formality and accuracy in expression for academic writing.

  14. "fundamental reason behind" -> "primary factor contributing to"
    Explanation: Substituting "fundamental reason behind" with "primary factor contributing to" maintains precision and formality in the language, common in academic discourse.

  15. "demotivate talented individuals" -> "discourage proficient individuals"
    Explanation: Replacing "demotivate talented individuals" with "discourage proficient individuals" uses a more formal and specific expression suitable for academic writing.

  16. "should consider imposing" -> "might contemplate implementing"
    Explanation: Changing "should consider imposing" to "might contemplate implementing" introduces a more nuanced and formal phrase fitting for an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "In various parts of the world, it is evident that well-known personalities can earn a higher income compared to those in legislative roles. This difference can be attributed to societal perceptions of their professions, and I argue that this tendency has negative implications."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction establishes the writer’s position on the topic, but it lacks a clear outline of the main points to be discussed in the essay. Providing a brief preview of the key arguments would enhance the reader’s understanding of the essay’s structure.
    • Improved example: "In various parts of the world, it is evident that well-known personalities, such as celebrities, can amass a higher income compared to those in legislative roles. This income disparity is primarily influenced by societal perceptions of their respective professions. In this essay, I will delve into the reasons behind this phenomenon and argue that it carries negative implications."
  2. Quoted text: "The root cause of the income gap between celebrities and politicians lies in the stigma attached to the latter group. Entertainers, through showcasing their talents and satisfying their fanbase, can enjoy a continuous stream of income without facing public opposition."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The argument is well-articulated, but the explanation could be further developed. Provide specific examples or instances where politicians face stigma and contrast it with how celebrities enjoy continuous income. This would strengthen the argument and make it more persuasive.
    • Improved example: "The fundamental reason behind the income gap between celebrities and politicians lies in the societal stigma attached to the latter group. Unlike entertainers who can enjoy a continuous stream of income through showcasing their talents and satisfying their fanbase, politicians often face public opposition and scrutiny. For instance, prominent politicians like [provide an example] might face public debate if they engage in activities similar to celebrity endorsements."
  3. Quoted text: "Nevertheless, the substantial disparity in earnings between celebrities and politicians needs to be addressed."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While the point is clear, it lacks depth. Elaborate on why addressing this disparity is crucial, perhaps by exploring the consequences of not addressing it. This will enhance the development of your ideas.
    • Improved example: "However, it is imperative to delve deeper into the substantial disparity in earnings between celebrities and politicians. This income gap not only reflects societal values but also poses potential consequences for the effectiveness of the state system and the motivation of individuals to pursue a career in politics, which I will explore in the subsequent paragraphs."

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the task and presents a clear position. However, enhancing the development of ideas and providing more specific examples will contribute to a more nuanced and persuasive argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, with a clear progression throughout. It effectively employs a range of cohesive devices, though there is a slight underuse in some instances. The central topic within each paragraph is clear, contributing to the overall coherence. However, there are minor issues with referencing and substitution that could be improved for enhanced cohesion.

How to improve:
To elevate the coherence and cohesion to a higher band score, the essay could benefit from a more consistent and varied use of cohesive devices. Ensure that referencing and substitution are clear and appropriate throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to maintaining a balance in the use of cohesive devices to avoid any underuse or overuse. Overall, enhancing these aspects would contribute to a more seamless flow of ideas and elevate the essay’s coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items, and the awareness of style and collocation is evident. The essay, however, does produce occasional errors in word choice and word formation. For instance, in the sentence, "In various parts of the world, it is evident that well-known personalities can earn a higher income compared to those in legislative roles," the word "legislative" might be considered less common, but the use of "roles" could be more precise. Additionally, the sentence, "This can demotivate talented individuals from joining the government," could benefit from a more varied word choice for "demotivate."

How to improve:
To enhance the Lexical Resource and move towards a higher band score, strive for more variety in vocabulary, particularly by using synonyms and avoiding repetition. Be cautious with word choice and ensure precision in conveying meanings. Proofreading is crucial to eliminate occasional errors in word choice and word formation, which can enhance the overall lexical control of the essay. Additionally, consider incorporating a broader range of lexical features to further elevate the sophistication of expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a wide range of sentence structures, showcasing flexibility and accuracy in language use. The majority of sentences are error-free, with only very occasional errors or inappropriacies. The essay effectively communicates ideas and maintains a good level of grammatical control throughout.

How to improve: While the essay is strong in grammatical range and accuracy, a slight improvement could be achieved by ensuring that complex structures are consistently used and by minimizing any remaining occasional errors. Additionally, careful proofreading for minor inaccuracies or awkward phrasing could enhance the overall fluency of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

In various parts of the world, it is apparent that famous personalities tend to earn more than those in legislative roles. This financial difference can be linked to how society views these professions, and I contend that this inclination carries negative implications.

The main reason for the income gap between celebrities and politicians lies in the stigma attached to the latter group. Entertainers, by showcasing their talents and pleasing their fanbase, can enjoy a steady income without encountering public opposition. Conversely, politicians heavily depend on the state budget for their monthly earnings and are strictly prohibited from forming commercial connections or earning money from other activities to prevent the misuse of power. For instance, Cristiano Ronaldo, apart from his fixed monthly income from his football club, can earn $2 million from an endorsement post on his social platform, while notable politicians like Barack Obama might face public debate if they engage in similar endorsement activities.

However, the substantial difference in earnings between celebrities and politicians should be addressed. Firstly, government officials who make significant contributions to social welfare deserve a substantial income to motivate them to stay dedicated to their roles and ultimately enhance the well-being of the people. Secondly, lower pay for politicians may discourage individuals from pursuing a career in politics, hindering the effectiveness of the state system and the sustainable development of the country. This situation can also contribute to materialism, as more people may be attracted to the alluring lifestyle offered by celebrities.

In conclusion, the fundamental reason behind the income gap between well-known figures and lawmakers is the negative perception surrounding the latter regarding their wealth and how they earn it. This can demotivate talented individuals from joining the government. Therefore, I believe that governments should consider imposing higher income taxes on the earnings of famous stars and simultaneously increase compensation for those leading their nation.

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