fbpx

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this.
Why is this happening?
Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

It is widely found that the family relationship plays a less important role in human growth. This situation is caused by several reasons. I personally opine that this tendency has more cons than pros.

There are various reasons that individuals are much less close to their parents and siblings by time being. Firstly, humans can move to other cities even outside of their own countries easily through the development of transportation. They become physically distant from their homes, and it reduces their visits and communications to folks at home. Secondly, we pay increased attention to our personal life improvement. Furthermore, it will decrease our time spent on family activities. Finally, modern communications replaced traditional family interactions. For example, people use phone calls and instant messages to send their greetings and wishes to their relatives, instead of festival parties or event gatherings. Even though these new connection tools make our links to families easier, they cannot take over the significance of face-to-face communication.

I believe there are more negativities over positivities when family members are less connected. It is harmful to our mental wellings if the connection with family is seldom. In recent times, an increasing number of human beings have been suffering from mental diseases such as anxiety from study and work, stress from interpersonal relationships with colleagues, as well as loneliness from being apart from parents. With the support of family members, they can speak out about their problems and difficulties without any concerns, and it can help them to feel relieved. Individuals might decide wrongly on big life events. We were raised by parents and grew up with siblings in the family, and they understand our personality and full background. Therefore, people can obtain effective and objective advice on critical commitments, for instance, job selection as well as handling of intimacy.

In the end, the root causes that human beings become less interactive with their families, can be physical distance, focus more on private life and the modern evolution of social links. The tendency of family relationships is obvious, but I agree more disadvantages are produced along with it.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "It is widely found that" -> "It is commonly observed that"
    Explanation: "It is commonly observed that" is a more precise and academically appropriate phrase, enhancing the formality and specificity of the statement.

  2. "plays a less important role" -> "plays a relatively less significant role"
    Explanation: Adding "relatively" clarifies the comparison, and "significant" is more precise than "important" in an academic context, emphasizing the degree of importance.

  3. "I personally opine" -> "I maintain"
    Explanation: "I maintain" is a more formal and assertive way to express personal opinion in academic writing, avoiding the colloquial tone of "I personally opine."

  4. "by time being" -> "over time"
    Explanation: "Over time" is the correct idiomatic expression, whereas "by time being" is incorrect and awkward.

  5. "humans can move" -> "individuals can relocate"
    Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "humans," and "relocate" is a more precise term than "move" in this context.

  6. "pay increased attention to our personal life improvement" -> "prioritize personal development"
    Explanation: "Prioritize personal development" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea of focusing on self-improvement.

  7. "decrease our time spent on family activities" -> "reduce the time devoted to family activities"
    Explanation: "Reduce the time devoted to" is more formal and precise, improving the academic tone.

  8. "modern communications replaced traditional family interactions" -> "modern communication methods have supplanted traditional family interactions"
    Explanation: "Supplanted" is a more precise verb than "replaced," and "methods" is more specific than "communications," enhancing the academic tone.

  9. "negativities over positivities" -> "negative effects over positive effects"
    Explanation: "Negative effects over positive effects" uses more precise and formal language, aligning better with academic standards.

  10. "harmful to our mental wellings" -> "harmful to our mental well-being"
    Explanation: "Well-being" is the correct term, not "wellings," which is a typographical error.

  11. "increasing number of human beings" -> "growing number of individuals"
    Explanation: "Growing number of individuals" is more formal and avoids the awkward phrasing of "human beings."

  12. "speak out about their problems and difficulties" -> "discuss their challenges"
    Explanation: "Discuss their challenges" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea of sharing concerns.

  13. "decide wrongly on big life events" -> "make incorrect decisions regarding significant life events"
    Explanation: "Make incorrect decisions regarding significant life events" is more precise and formal, avoiding the colloquial "decide wrongly."

  14. "understand our personality and full background" -> "understand our personalities and backgrounds"
    Explanation: "Personalities and backgrounds" is grammatically correct and more formal than "personality and full background."

  15. "the modern evolution of social links" -> "the evolution of modern social connections"
    Explanation: "The evolution of modern social connections" is grammatically correct and more formal, improving the flow and clarity of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng:

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng:

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng:

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng:

Bài sửa mẫu

Bài viết liên quan

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT

Lưu ý

Sắp bảo trì server

Để đảm bảo tính ổn định của web, web sẽ thực hiện backup dữ liệu hàng ngày từ 3h-3h30 sáng

Rất mong quý thầy cô và học viên thông cảm vì bất tiện này