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Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life.

Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, in many countries, an increasing number of individuals are opting to have their first child at a later age. This approach offers a unique set of advantages and disadvantages. In this essay, I will explore the merits and drawbacks of this growing trend and ultimately express my opinion on the matter.
The decision to postpone parenthood brings certain benefits to couples. One of the main advantages of delaying childbirth is improved financial stability. When people have a stable income and career, they help alleviate the financial burden and stress on parents. This creates a conducive environment for nurturing the child and allows parents more time to study and enjoy their own lives. Additionally, another significant benefit is that parents can gain greater emotional and mental maturity. As individuals grow older, they tend to become more patient and develop better emotional skills. This enables them to respond to their children's needs more calmly and to teach them with greater wisdom. For example, a 2017 study published in a European medical journal found that older mothers were less likely to scold or discipline their children, surprising researchers analyzing children’s psychosocial development.
However, there are serious drawbacks to this trend. One significant concern is the increased health risks for both the mother and the child. A mother’s health and stamina cannot compare to those of a younger woman, so older mothers may face more challenges such as severe morning sickness and heightened anxiety about their child’s health, leading to greater fatigue. Specifically, if a mother gives birth later in life, her child may be at a higher risk for conditions such as autism, Down syndrome, and other mental disorders, which can limit the child’s future opportunities. Moreover, another drawback is the generation gap. A substantial age difference between parents and children can result in disagreements in values and lifestyles. Such conflicts can create tension within the family, making parenting more challenging.
In conclusion, having a child later in life can help parents be as prepared as possible, but it also has its drawbacks. I believe that each parent will make their own best choice for their family.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Nowadays" -> "Currently"
    Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."

  2. "opting to have their first child" -> "choosing to have their first child"
    Explanation: "Choosing" is a more formal verb than "opting," which is somewhat informal and less commonly used in academic contexts.

  3. "a unique set of advantages and disadvantages" -> "a distinct set of advantages and disadvantages"
    Explanation: "Distinct" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "unique," which can imply a one-of-a-kind quality that may not be accurate in this context.

  4. "merits and drawbacks" -> "advantages and disadvantages"
    Explanation: "Advantages and disadvantages" is a more commonly used and accepted term in academic writing than "merits and drawbacks," which can be less formal.

  5. "help alleviate the financial burden and stress" -> "reduce the financial burden and stress"
    Explanation: "Reduce" is a more direct and formal verb than "help alleviate," which is slightly less precise and can sound less formal.

  6. "study and enjoy their own lives" -> "pursue their studies and personal interests"
    Explanation: "Pursue their studies and personal interests" is more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  7. "gain greater emotional and mental maturity" -> "develop greater emotional and mental maturity"
    Explanation: "Develop" is a more precise verb in this context, indicating a process of growth and improvement, which is more suitable for academic writing.

  8. "tend to become more patient" -> "tend to exhibit greater patience"
    Explanation: "Exhibit greater patience" is a more formal expression, fitting better in an academic essay.

  9. "to teach them with greater wisdom" -> "to instruct them with greater wisdom"
    Explanation: "Instruct" is a more formal synonym for "teach," aligning better with the academic style.

  10. "surprising researchers analyzing children’s psychosocial development" -> "surprising findings in research on children’s psychosocial development"
    Explanation: This revision clarifies that the surprise refers to the research findings, making the sentence more precise and formal.

  11. "cannot compare to those of a younger woman" -> "are inferior to those of younger women"
    Explanation: "Are inferior to those of younger women" is a more direct and formal way to express the comparison, avoiding the colloquial "cannot compare to."

  12. "severe morning sickness and heightened anxiety" -> "severe morning sickness and increased anxiety"
    Explanation: "Increased" is a more formal term than "heightened," which can be seen as slightly informal.

  13. "at a higher risk for conditions" -> "at a greater risk of developing conditions"
    Explanation: "At a greater risk of developing" is more precise and formal, specifying the nature of the risk.

  14. "can limit the child’s future opportunities" -> "may restrict the child’s future opportunities"
    Explanation: "May restrict" is a more formal and cautious expression than "can limit," which is slightly less formal.

  15. "make their own best choice" -> "make their own informed decision"
    Explanation: "Make their own informed decision" is a more formal and precise phrase, suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of having children later in life. The author outlines financial stability and emotional maturity as key benefits, while health risks and generational gaps are presented as significant drawbacks. This balanced approach demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt. However, while the advantages and disadvantages are discussed, the essay could benefit from a more explicit comparison of the two sides to directly answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could include a more direct evaluation of the advantages versus disadvantages, perhaps by summarizing the key points in a concluding statement that clearly states which side is more compelling and why. This could involve a brief analysis of the implications of each point raised.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument but ultimately suggests that the decision is subjective to individual circumstances. The phrase "I believe that each parent will make their own best choice for their family" indicates a personal stance, but it lacks a definitive conclusion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the position, the author should consider taking a more definitive stance in the conclusion. Instead of leaving the decision open-ended, the author could assert a clear opinion based on the arguments presented, which would provide a stronger resolution to the essay.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-supported ideas, such as financial stability and emotional maturity as advantages, along with health risks and generational gaps as disadvantages. Each point is elaborated upon with relevant examples, such as the reference to a study on older mothers. However, the essay could benefit from further development of the disadvantages, particularly by providing more specific examples or data to substantiate the claims made about health risks and generational gaps.
    • How to improve: To improve this aspect, the author could include additional statistics or studies that highlight the health risks associated with older parenthood or real-life examples illustrating the generational gap. This would add depth to the argument and enhance the overall persuasiveness of the essay.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of having children later in life, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages without deviating into unrelated areas. The structure is logical, with clear transitions between points. However, the conclusion could be seen as slightly vague, as it does not directly address the prompt’s question about whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the author should ensure that the conclusion directly ties back to the prompt. A clear statement summarizing the main points and explicitly stating whether the advantages or disadvantages are more significant would reinforce the essay’s adherence to the topic and provide a more satisfying closure.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and presents a balanced view. By making the suggested improvements, the author can elevate the essay to a higher level of clarity and persuasiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear and logical organization of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining the topic and stating the intention to explore both advantages and disadvantages. Each body paragraph is dedicated to either the advantages or disadvantages, which helps maintain a clear focus. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of financial stability and emotional maturity, while the second paragraph addresses health risks and the generation gap. This separation aids in the reader’s understanding of the contrasting points.
    • How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using more explicit transitional phrases between the advantages and disadvantages. For example, after discussing the advantages, a phrase like "On the other hand" could be used to signal the shift to the drawbacks. Additionally, summarizing the main points at the end of each paragraph could reinforce the logical connections between ideas.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, which contributes to its clarity. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant details and examples. The introduction and conclusion are distinct, framing the discussion well. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of the paragraph.
    • How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences in each body paragraph to ensure they clearly indicate the focus of the paragraph. For instance, the second paragraph could start with a sentence like, "Despite the benefits, there are notable disadvantages to having children later in life." This would provide a clearer guide for the reader and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a good range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and transitional phrases, to link ideas within and between sentences. Phrases like "one of the main advantages" and "however" effectively guide the reader through the argument. The use of examples, such as the reference to the 2017 study, also serves to connect ideas and provide evidence for claims made.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "additionally" or "moreover," try alternatives like "furthermore" or "in addition." Additionally, using pronouns effectively can help maintain cohesion; for instance, referring back to "this trend" or "these challenges" can create smoother transitions between sentences.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the essay could achieve even greater clarity and fluidity in its argumentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Phrases such as "financial stability," "emotional and mental maturity," and "psychosocial development" reflect an ability to use topic-specific language effectively. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "advantage" and "disadvantage" could be replaced with synonyms like "benefit," "merit," "drawback," or "downside" to enhance lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of synonyms and expressions throughout the essay. This can be achieved by brainstorming alternative words before writing and practicing paraphrasing common phrases.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with terms like "financial burden" and "emotional skills" being appropriately applied. However, there are moments of imprecision, such as the phrase "a mother’s health and stamina cannot compare to those of a younger woman." This could be misleading as it implies a direct comparison that may not be universally applicable. Additionally, the term "heightened anxiety" could be more clearly articulated as "increased anxiety" for better clarity.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on ensuring that comparisons are clear and accurate. It is advisable to avoid vague statements and instead provide specific examples or data to support claims. Revising sentences for clarity and specificity can also help improve this aspect.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words like "psychosocial," "autism," and "disabilities" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
    • How to improve: While spelling is accurate, the writer can further ensure this by proofreading their work for any potential typos or overlooked errors. Engaging in regular spelling practice, such as using spelling apps or quizzes, can also help maintain this level of accuracy.

In summary, the essay achieves a Band Score of 7 for Lexical Resource due to its effective use of vocabulary, though there is room for improvement in variety and precision. By incorporating a broader range of synonyms, ensuring clarity in comparisons, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance their lexical resource further.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences, such as "When people have a stable income and career, they help alleviate the financial burden and stress on parents," effectively conveys multiple ideas in a single sentence. Additionally, the essay includes a mix of simple and compound sentences, which helps maintain reader engagement. The use of phrases like "one significant concern is" and "another significant benefit is" showcases the writer’s ability to introduce new points clearly and cohesively.
    • How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, starting sentences with adverbial clauses (e.g., "While financial stability is a key advantage, health risks cannot be overlooked") can enhance the complexity of the writing. Additionally, using inversion for emphasis (e.g., "Rarely do parents consider the long-term implications of their decisions") could add sophistication to the essay.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For instance, the phrase "an increasing number of individuals are opting to have their first child at a later age" is grammatically correct and effectively communicates the idea. Punctuation is mostly accurate, with commas used appropriately to separate clauses and items in a list. However, there are minor issues, such as the comma before "but" in the conclusion, which is unnecessary and disrupts the flow of the sentence.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should review the rules regarding comma usage, particularly in compound sentences. A thorough proofreading process can help identify and correct such minor errors. Additionally, practicing the use of more complex grammatical structures, such as conditional sentences (e.g., "If parents choose to delay childbirth, they must consider…"), can further improve grammatical range and accuracy.

Overall, the essay effectively communicates its ideas with a strong command of grammatical structures and punctuation, meriting a band score of 8. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can work towards achieving an even higher level of proficiency in grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, in many countries, an increasing number of individuals are choosing to have their first child later in life. This trend presents a distinct set of advantages and disadvantages. In this essay, I will explore the merits and drawbacks of this growing phenomenon and ultimately express my opinion on the matter.

The decision to postpone parenthood brings certain benefits to couples. One of the main advantages of delaying childbirth is improved financial stability. When people have a stable income and career, they can reduce the financial burden and stress on parents. This creates a conducive environment for nurturing the child and allows parents more time to pursue their studies and personal interests. Additionally, another significant benefit is that parents can develop greater emotional and mental maturity. As individuals grow older, they tend to exhibit greater patience and enhance their emotional skills. This enables them to respond to their children’s needs more calmly and to instruct them with greater wisdom. For example, a 2017 study published in a European medical journal found that older mothers were less likely to scold or discipline their children, which surprised researchers analyzing children’s psychosocial development.

However, there are serious drawbacks to this trend. One significant concern is the increased health risks for both the mother and the child. A mother’s health and stamina are often inferior to those of a younger woman, so older mothers may face more challenges such as severe morning sickness and increased anxiety about their child’s health, leading to greater fatigue. Specifically, if a mother gives birth later in life, her child may be at a greater risk of developing conditions such as autism, Down syndrome, and other mental disorders, which may restrict the child’s future opportunities. Moreover, another drawback is the generation gap. A substantial age difference between parents and children can result in disagreements in values and lifestyles. Such conflicts can create tension within the family, making parenting more challenging.

In conclusion, choosing to have a child later in life can help parents be as prepared as possible, but it also has its drawbacks. I believe that each parent should make their own informed decision regarding what is best for their family.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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