nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. what are the reason? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

In the recent, parts of population prefer having infant lately. this essay attempts to elucidate reasons and give my point of view why this phenomenon’s benefits is much more than cons.

There are a lot of reasons and disadvantages that make new generation adults decide to have a child later in their life. Firstly, more and more today’s people focus on improving their financial ability, and enjoy the freedom of unmarried. Beside the reasons, young parents have to suffer from some disadvantages such as lacking of private time and taking care children skils. Taking responsibilities for their children take parents a lot of time, which should be spend on earning living and do personal activities. Furthermore, people who want to become parents should have enough ability to look after and educate their infant. By having financial ability and join in taking care children class, young people must spend their time on learning and finding job opportunities.

I strongly believe that the benefits of having children later in our life is outweigh the disadvantages. New generation adults prefer enjoying their freedom than having a bun in the oven too early, without the botheration of infant people can chase their dream . Furthermore, by learning and training people can have more job opportunities and improve their financial ability. Having enough money can bring better life for their family without any problems about properties. People who have better education level can easily teach their child and grow their infant efficiently.

In conclude, new generation adults prefer enjoying their own life than having children early. For me the advantages of this phenomenon is much more than the con

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Errors and Improvements:

"In the recent, parts of population prefer having infant lately." -> "Recently, a portion of the population prefers delaying childbirth."
Explanation: "In the recent" lacks clarity and is grammatically incorrect. "Parts of population" is awkward; instead, use "a portion of the population." "Having infant lately" should be "delaying childbirth" for clarity and formality.
"this essay attempts to elucidate reasons and give my point of view why this phenomenon’s benefits is much more than cons." -> "This essay aims to elucidate the reasons and present my perspective on why the benefits of this phenomenon outweigh the drawbacks."
Explanation: "Elucidate reasons" can be refined to "present reasons." "Give my point of view" can be improved to "present my perspective." "Phenomenon’s benefits is much more than cons" should be "the benefits of this phenomenon outweigh the drawbacks" for clarity and grammatical correctness.
"There are a lot of reasons and disadvantages that make new generation adults decide to have a child later in their life." -> "There are numerous reasons and drawbacks that lead contemporary adults to postpone parenthood."
Explanation: "A lot of" is informal; "numerous" is a more formal alternative. "New generation adults" can be replaced with "contemporary adults" for clarity and formality. "Decide to have a child later in their life" can be refined to "postpone parenthood" for conciseness and clarity.
"Beside the reasons, young parents have to suffer from some disadvantages such as lacking of private time and taking care children skils." -> "In addition to these reasons, young parents face several disadvantages, including a lack of personal time and the need for childcare skills."
Explanation: "Beside the reasons" should be "In addition to these reasons" for clarity. "Suffer from some disadvantages" can be refined to "face several disadvantages" for conciseness. "Lacking of private time" should be "a lack of personal time" for grammatical correctness. "Taking care children skils" should be "the need for childcare skills" for clarity and formality.
"Taking responsibilities for their children take parents a lot of time, which should be spend on earning living and do personal activities." -> "Assuming responsibility for their children consumes a significant amount of parents’ time, time that could otherwise be allocated to earning a living and engaging in personal activities."
Explanation: "Taking responsibilities for their children take parents a lot of time" should be "Assuming responsibility for their children consumes a significant amount of parents’ time" for clarity and grammatical correctness. "Which should be spend on earning living and do personal activities" should be "time that could otherwise be allocated to earning a living and engaging in personal activities" for clarity and formality.
"Furthermore, people who want to become parents should have enough ability to look after and educate their infant." -> "Furthermore, individuals aspiring to parenthood should possess the capability to care for and educate their offspring."
Explanation: "People who want to become parents" can be refined to "individuals aspiring to parenthood" for formality. "Should have enough ability to look after and educate their infant" should be "should possess the capability to care for and educate their offspring" for clarity and formality.
"By having financial ability and join in taking care children class, young people must spend their time on learning and finding job opportunities." -> "By possessing financial stability and participating in childcare courses, young individuals must dedicate time to acquiring knowledge and seeking employment."
Explanation: "By having financial ability" should be "By possessing financial stability" for clarity and formality. "Join in taking care children class" should be "participating in childcare courses" for clarity. "Must spend their time on learning and finding job opportunities" should be "must dedicate time to acquiring knowledge and seeking employment" for clarity and formality.
"I strongly believe that the benefits of having children later in our life is outweigh the disadvantages." -> "I firmly believe that the benefits of delaying childbirth outweigh the disadvantages."
Explanation: "Strongly believe" can be refined to "firmly believe" for formality. "Having children later in our life is outweigh the disadvantages" should be "delaying childbirth outweighs the disadvantages" for clarity and grammatical correctness.
"New generation adults prefer enjoying their freedom than having a bun in the oven too early, without the botheration of infant people can chase their dream." -> "Contemporary adults prioritize enjoying their freedom over starting a family prematurely; without the responsibilities of parenthood, individuals can pursue their dreams."
Explanation: "New generation adults" can be replaced with "contemporary adults" for clarity and formality. "Enjoying their freedom than having a bun in the oven too early" should be "prioritize enjoying their freedom over starting a family prematurely" for clarity and formality. "Without the botheration of infant people can chase their dream" should be "without the responsibilities of parenthood, individuals can pursue their dreams" for clarity and grammatical correctness.
"Furthermore, by learning and training people can have more job opportunities and improve their financial ability." -> "Furthermore, through education and training, individuals can access more job opportunities and enhance their financial stability."
Explanation: "By learning and training" should be "through education and training" for clarity and formality. "People can have more job opportunities and improve their financial ability" should be "individuals can access more job opportunities and enhance their financial stability" for clarity and formality.
"Having enough money can bring better life for their family without any problems about properties." -> "Sufficient financial resources can improve the quality of life for their family without concerns about material possessions."
Explanation: "Having enough money" should be "sufficient financial resources" for clarity and formality. "Bring better life for their family" should be "improve the quality of life for their family" for clarity and formality. "Without any problems about properties" should be "without concerns about material possessions" for clarity.
"People who have better education level can easily teach their child and grow their infant efficiently." -> "Individuals with a higher level of education can effectively educate and nurture their children."
Explanation: "People who have better education level" should be "Individuals with a higher level of education" for clarity and formality. "Teach their child and grow their infant efficiently" should be "educate and nurture their children" for clarity and conciseness.
"In conclude, new generation adults prefer enjoying their own life than having children early." -> "In conclusion, contemporary adults prioritize enjoying their own lives over early parenthood."
Explanation: "In conclude" should be "In conclusion" for grammatical correctness. "New generation adults" can be replaced with "contemporary adults" for clarity and formality. "Prefer enjoying their own life than having children early" should be "prioritize enjoying their own lives over early parenthood" for clarity and formality.
"For me the advantages of this phenomenon is much more than the con" -> "In my view, the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the drawbacks."
Explanation: "For me" can be replaced with "In my view" for formality. "The advantages of this phenomenon is much more than the con" should be "the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the drawbacks" for grammatical correctness and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both aspects of the prompt: reasons for people deciding to have children later in life and whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the discussion lacks depth and clarity. While it mentions financial stability and personal freedom as reasons for delaying parenthood, it could benefit from providing more specific examples or elaborating on these points further. Additionally, the conclusion briefly reiterates the preference for delaying childbirth without delving into a balanced consideration of both sides.
- How to improve: To improve, provide more detailed examples and explanations for why individuals may choose to have children later in life. Additionally, ensure that the conclusion reflects a more balanced evaluation of the advantages and disadvantages, considering both perspectives equally.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent stance throughout, arguing that the benefits of delaying childbirth outweigh the drawbacks. However, the clarity of the position could be enhanced by providing stronger supporting evidence and logical reasoning. Some statements, such as "Having enough money can bring better life for their family without any problems about properties," lack clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: Strengthen the clarity and coherence of the position by providing more specific examples and logical reasoning to support the argument. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each point contributes to a clear and cohesive argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the reasons for delaying parenthood and the perceived advantages of doing so. However, these ideas are not sufficiently developed or supported with evidence. For instance, while it mentions financial stability as a reason for postponing childbirth, it does not provide concrete examples or statistical data to support this claim. Similarly, the discussion on the benefits of delaying parenthood lacks depth and specificity.
- How to improve: Extend and support ideas by providing specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes to bolster arguments. Delve deeper into the potential advantages and disadvantages of delaying parenthood, providing nuanced perspectives and evidence to support each point.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing the reasons for delaying parenthood and whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, there are instances of unclear or tangential discussion, such as the brief mention of "taking care children skils" without further elaboration. Additionally, some statements lack coherence or relevance to the main topic.
- How to improve: Ensure that all points discussed directly relate to the topic of delaying parenthood and its implications. Avoid tangential or irrelevant discussions and focus on providing clear, concise arguments related to the prompt. Consider restructuring sentences or paragraphs to enhance coherence and relevance.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks clear organization and coherence. It jumps between discussing reasons for delaying parenthood and the advantages of doing so without a clear transition. This results in a disjointed flow that makes it difficult for the reader to follow the argument effectively. Additionally, the conclusion feels abrupt and does not effectively summarize the main points of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow and structure of the essay, consider outlining the main points before writing to ensure a clear progression of ideas. Begin with an introduction that previews the main reasons for delaying parenthood, followed by body paragraphs that discuss each reason in detail with supporting examples. Transition smoothly between paragraphs to maintain coherence. Finally, conclude by summarizing the key points and restating the thesis in a concise manner.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains three paragraphs, but they lack clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas. Each paragraph seems to contain a mix of related points without a clear focus, making it challenging for the reader to discern the main ideas of each section.
- How to improve: Aim to improve paragraph structure by starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Follow the topic sentence with supporting details and examples that expand upon the main idea. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs and create a smooth flow of information. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into shorter ones to enhance readability and clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks variety in cohesive devices, relying primarily on basic conjunctions like "and" and "furthermore." While some cohesive devices are used, such as pronouns ("this phenomenon"), their effectiveness is limited by the lack of clarity and coherence in the essay’s overall structure.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a range of transitional words and phrases such as "however," "therefore," "in addition," and "on the other hand" to signal shifts in ideas and relationships between sentences and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices consistently throughout the essay to improve coherence and cohesion. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately and contributes to the overall clarity and organization of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and sophistication. For instance, phrases like "parts of population," "elucidate reasons," "bun in the oven," and "without the botheration" show attempts at diverse vocabulary use. However, the essay lacks consistency in utilizing advanced vocabulary throughout.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary consistently. This could involve using synonyms or more precise terms where appropriate, such as replacing common phrases like "having a child" with alternatives like "parenting" or "nurturing offspring." Additionally, incorporating more academic or formal language would elevate the lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits some imprecise vocabulary usage, which affects clarity and precision. For instance, "parts of population" could be clearer as "segments of the population." Additionally, phrases like "new generation adults" are somewhat ambiguous and could be specified more precisely.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This involves avoiding vague or ambiguous terms and opting for more specific and descriptive language. Consulting a thesaurus or academic resources can help find precise alternatives for commonly used words.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "lately" instead of "later," "beside" instead of "besides," "infant" instead of "infants," and "conclude" instead of "conclude."
- How to improve: Improving spelling accuracy is essential for enhancing the overall quality of the essay. Utilizing spell-check tools or proofreading carefully before submission can help identify and correct spelling errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through exercises or incorporating vocabulary into writing can reinforce correct spelling habits.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is a noticeable repetition of sentence structures throughout the essay, leading to a lack of variety and sophistication. For instance, there’s a consistent use of simple sentence structures, which limits the fluency and complexity of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and complexity, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures such as compound-complex sentences, parallel structures, and varied clause arrangements. Additionally, transitioning between sentence structures can improve the flow and readability of the essay. Introducing subordinate clauses, participial phrases, and appositives can add depth and complexity to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies that detract from its clarity and coherence. For instance, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("Beside the reasons…"), article usage ("enjoy the freedom of unmarried"), tense consistency ("By having financial ability and join in taking care children class"), and sentence structure ("which should be spend on earning living and do personal activities"). Additionally, there are punctuation errors such as missing commas after introductory phrases and incorrect capitalization.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on improving fundamental grammar skills such as subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper article usage. Proofreading the essay carefully for punctuation errors, including commas, periods, and capitalization, can significantly improve clarity and coherence. Utilizing grammar resources and practicing sentence construction can also aid in developing a stronger grasp of English grammar rules.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates some proficiency in grammatical range and accuracy, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical precision. By incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures and refining grammar and punctuation skills, the writer can elevate the clarity, coherence, and overall effectiveness of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent times, a growing segment of the population opts for delaying parenthood. This essay aims to outline the reasons behind this trend and explain why its benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

There are various factors and drawbacks influencing contemporary adults to postpone having children. Firstly, many individuals nowadays prioritize enhancing their financial stability and relishing the freedom of being unmarried. Additionally, young parents often face challenges such as a lack of personal time and the need for childcare skills. Assuming responsibility for their offspring consumes considerable time, which could otherwise be devoted to earning a livelihood and pursuing personal interests. Moreover, individuals aspiring to parenthood must possess the capability to care for and educate their children. By having financial stability and engaging in childcare courses, young individuals must allocate time to acquiring knowledge and seeking employment.

I firmly believe that the advantages of delaying parenthood outweigh the disadvantages. Contemporary adults prioritize enjoying their freedom over starting a family prematurely; without the responsibilities of parenthood, individuals can pursue their dreams. Furthermore, through education and training, individuals can access more job opportunities and enhance their financial stability. Sufficient financial resources can improve the quality of life for their family without concerns about material possessions. Moreover, individuals with a higher level of education can effectively educate and nurture their children.

In conclusion, modern adults prioritize enjoying their own lives over early parenthood. In my view, the benefits of this phenomenon outweigh the drawbacks.