Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Is this a negative or positive development?

Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Is this a negative or
positive development?

An increasing number of errands are being done by machines at the job and in the house. From my point of view, it is a positive development, and this essay will elucidate the positive impacts of robots on humans.
With the emergence of artificial intelligence, robots have played a vital role in manufacturing industries. Robots themselves are currently advanced, so they can perform tasks faster and more accurately than humans, significantly boosting productivity and overall output. This heightened efficiency translates to economic growth since businesses can produce more goods and services in less time. Moreover, in hazardous environments, such as Mars, the seabed or radioactive areas, these robots are invaluable, they undertake dangerous and repetitive work that pose a risk to human life. By shielding humans from harm, robots contribute to a safer workplace and reduce work-related injuries.
Although technology these days are innovative and advanced, they are not perfect enough to utterly replace human occupations. Robotic devices are all manufactured and operated by humans, and after a period of use, they also need to be repaired and upgraded. For that reason, the development of robotics can create new industries and job opportunities. However, these jobs will require higher technological knowledge and skills from employees
In conclusion, the appearance of robots has assisted people in many aspects of life. Regardless of the negative impacts that it may bring, the positive contributions it has will overthrow the downsides if used wisely.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "An increasing number of errands are being done by machines" -> "An increasing number of tasks are being performed by machines"
   Explanation: "Errands" is a colloquial term that may not be suitable for formal academic writing. "Tasks" is more precise and appropriate for formal contexts, and "performed" is a more formal verb choice than "done."

2. "at the job and in the house" -> "in workplaces and homes"
   Explanation: "At the job" and "in the house" are informal and vague. "In workplaces and homes" provides a clearer and more formal description of the contexts.

3. "it is a positive development" -> "this trend is beneficial"
   Explanation: "It is a positive development" is somewhat vague and informal. "This trend is beneficial" is more specific and academically appropriate.

4. "robots have played a vital role" -> "robots have assumed a crucial role"
   Explanation: "Played a vital role" is a common phrase, but "assumed a crucial role" sounds more formal and precise in academic writing.

5. "they can perform tasks faster and more accurately" -> "they can execute tasks more rapidly and accurately"
   Explanation: "Perform tasks" is somewhat informal; "execute tasks" is more precise and formal. "More rapidly" is also a more formal alternative to "faster."

6. "significantly boosting productivity and overall output" -> "significantly enhancing productivity and overall output"
   Explanation: "Boosting" is slightly informal; "enhancing" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.

7. "these robots are invaluable" -> "these robots are invaluable"
   Explanation: "Invaluable" is correct as an adjective, but it should be used with a singular noun, so "robot" should be used instead of "robots."

8. "they undertake dangerous and repetitive work" -> "they undertake hazardous and repetitive tasks"
   Explanation: "Dangerous" is somewhat informal; "hazardous" is more precise and formal. "Tasks" is also more appropriate than "work" in this context.

9. "pose a risk to human life" -> "pose a risk to human safety"
   Explanation: "Life" is too broad and informal; "safety" is more specific and appropriate for formal writing.

10. "technology these days are" -> "technology today is"
    Explanation: "Technology these days are" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Technology today is" corrects the grammar and maintains formality.

11. "utterly replace human occupations" -> "completely displace human occupations"
    Explanation: "Utterly" is somewhat informal and less precise; "completely" is more formal and academically appropriate. "Displace" is also more specific than "replace" in this context.

12. "Robotic devices are all manufactured and operated by humans" -> "Robotic devices are manufactured and operated by humans"
    Explanation: The phrase "are all" is redundant and informal; removing it improves the sentence’s clarity and formality.

13. "after a period of use, they also need to be repaired and upgraded" -> "after a period of use, they require maintenance and upgrading"
    Explanation: "Need to be repaired and upgraded" is a bit informal and verbose; "require maintenance and upgrading" is more concise and formal.

14. "the positive contributions it has will overthrow the downsides" -> "the positive contributions it offers will outweigh the drawbacks"
    Explanation: "Overthrow" is incorrect in this context; "outweigh" is the correct term for comparing the relative importance of advantages and disadvantages. "Drawbacks" is also more formal than "downsides."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally addresses both aspects of whether the increasing use of robots is a positive or negative development. It acknowledges the positive impacts such as increased productivity and safety in hazardous environments. However, it could benefit from a more balanced exploration of potential negative impacts, such as job displacement or ethical concerns.
  • How to improve: To improve, the essay should dedicate more attention to exploring potential drawbacks of increased reliance on robots, balancing the discussion with a broader view of societal impacts beyond productivity and safety.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay clearly takes the stance that the increased use of robots is a positive development. This position is maintained throughout the essay, with consistent arguments supporting the benefits of robots in enhancing productivity and safety.
  • How to improve: To enhance clarity, the essay could strengthen its position by explicitly addressing potential counterarguments or acknowledging limitations to its viewpoint, thereby demonstrating a nuanced understanding of the topic.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents its ideas clearly, focusing on productivity gains and safety benefits provided by robots. It extends these ideas with examples such as manufacturing and hazardous environments. However, it lacks depth in discussing the broader societal implications and long-term effects beyond economic benefits.
  • How to improve: To improve, the essay should delve deeper into the implications of increased automation on job markets, human skills development, and ethical considerations. Providing more varied examples and discussing potential unintended consequences would enrich the argumentation.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by discussing the impacts of robots on tasks at home and work. However, it occasionally shifts focus from the impacts to the broader technological advancements and the nature of robotics itself.
  • How to improve: To stay more closely on topic, the essay should maintain a sharper focus on the specific impacts of increased robot use on tasks at home and work, ensuring all examples and discussions directly relate to the prompt.

In conclusion, while the essay effectively argues for the positive impacts of robots in enhancing productivity and safety, it would benefit from a more balanced consideration of potential drawbacks and a deeper exploration of broader societal implications. Maintaining a clear stance throughout, while enriching the discussion with varied examples and staying tightly focused on the prompt, will elevate the coherence and depth of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure. It begins with an introduction that outlines the writer’s perspective and the essay’s main focus. Each subsequent paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the topic: the benefits of robots in industry, their role in hazardous environments, the limitations of robotic technology, and the potential for new job creation. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument easily.
  • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider explicitly signaling transitions between paragraphs. For instance, using phrases like "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "In addition to this," can strengthen the flow between ideas.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively to structure its argument. Each paragraph addresses a specific point related to the impact of robots, starting with an introduction that sets the stage and followed by body paragraphs that delve into different aspects of the topic, such as productivity gains and job creation.
  • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on one main idea and supports it with relevant examples or explanations. For instance, the paragraph discussing robotic efficiency could provide specific examples or statistics to illustrate its point more vividly.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses cohesive devices such as pronouns ("they," "these") and transitional phrases ("Moreover," "However") to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. These devices contribute to the overall coherence by linking related concepts and guiding the reader through the argument.
  • How to improve: Expand the variety of cohesive devices used. Consider incorporating more sophisticated transitions like "On the contrary," "Conversely," or "Nevertheless" to add nuance to contrasting ideas. Additionally, use cohesive devices not only to connect sentences but also to reinforce the logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion with a clear organizational structure and effective paragraphing, enhancing the use of transitional phrases and diversifying cohesive devices could further elevate its coherence and cohesion score to an 8. This would involve refining the transitions between paragraphs and experimenting with a wider range of cohesive devices to enrich the flow and clarity of ideas presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary. It includes terms such as "errands," "artificial intelligence," "manufacturing industries," "hazardous environments," "invaluable," "repetitive work," "shielding," "work-related injuries," "utmost," "technological knowledge," and "overthrow." These terms cover a range of relevant concepts related to the topic of robots and their impact on work and home life.
  • How to improve: To enhance the vocabulary range further, consider incorporating more nuanced synonyms or specific technical terms where appropriate. For instance, instead of using "manufacturing industries," one might use "automated production sectors" or "industrial automation processes" to show a deeper grasp of technical vocabulary related to robotics and automation.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: Vocabulary usage is generally clear and relevant to the topic. For example, "robotic devices" accurately describes machines, and "hazardous environments" precisely conveys dangerous settings. However, some terms like "errands" may be less precise; a more precise term could be "tasks" or "operations."
  • How to improve: Aim for more precise vocabulary choices throughout the essay. Replace general terms with more specific ones where appropriate. For instance, instead of "innovative and advanced," use "cutting-edge" or "state-of-the-art" to convey a stronger sense of technological advancement.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally maintained throughout the essay, with only minor errors such as "utmost" instead of "uttermost" and potential typographical errors ("after a period of use, they also need to be repaired" could be clearer with a slight rephrasing for better clarity).
  • How to improve: Continue to proofread carefully for any minor errors in spelling and grammar. Consider using spell-check tools and reading aloud to catch any overlooked mistakes. Additionally, pay attention to clarity in sentence structure to ensure ideas are expressed clearly and concisely.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding and usage of vocabulary relevant to the topic of robotics and automation. By refining vocabulary precision and ensuring consistent spelling accuracy, the essay could further enhance its coherence and impact.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of sentence structures, including complex sentences ("With the emergence of artificial intelligence, robots have played a vital role in manufacturing industries"), conditional sentences ("Although technology these days is innovative and advanced, they are not perfect enough to utterly replace human occupations"), and compound sentences ("By shielding humans from harm, robots contribute to a safer workplace and reduce work-related injuries"). These structures contribute to clarity and coherence in presenting ideas.
  • How to improve: To further enhance variety, consider incorporating more nuanced sentence types such as inverted sentences ("Not only do robots perform tasks efficiently, but they also ensure workplace safety"), rhetorical questions ("Can robots truly replace the creativity of human minds?"), or parallel structures ("Robots not only enhance productivity but also promote safety and reduce costs"). This would add sophistication and engagement to the essay’s structure.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy. There are a few instances where subject-verb agreement could be strengthened ("technology these days are innovative" should be "technology these days is innovative"), and some minor punctuation errors (missing commas in compound sentences). However, these do not significantly detract from the clarity of the message.
  • How to improve: Focus on consistent subject-verb agreement throughout the essay. Pay attention to using commas correctly in compound and complex sentences to enhance readability and coherence. For instance, revising "they are not perfect enough to utterly replace human occupations" to "they are not perfect enough to completely replace human occupations" would improve both accuracy and fluency.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical structures and effectively conveys ideas with clarity and coherence. To achieve an even higher band score, continue diversifying sentence structures and refine grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills for increased precision and impact.

Bài sửa mẫu

An increasing number of tasks are being performed by machines both at workplaces and homes. From my perspective, this trend is beneficial, and this essay will elaborate on the positive impacts of robots on humans.

With the rise of artificial intelligence, robots have assumed a crucial role in manufacturing industries. These robots can execute tasks more rapidly and accurately than humans, significantly enhancing productivity and overall output. This heightened efficiency leads to economic growth as businesses can produce more goods and services in less time. Additionally, in hazardous environments such as Mars, the seabed, or radioactive areas, these robots are invaluable. They undertake hazardous and repetitive tasks that pose a risk to human safety. By doing so, robots contribute to a safer workplace and reduce work-related injuries.

While technology today is advanced, it does not completely displace human occupations. Robotic devices are manufactured and operated by humans, and after a period of use, they require maintenance and upgrading. This aspect of robotics development can create new industries and job opportunities that demand higher technological knowledge and skills from employees.

In conclusion, the emergence of robots has assisted people in various aspects of life. Despite potential negative impacts, the positive contributions they offer will outweigh the drawbacks if managed wisely.