Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet.

What are the reasons behind this?

Suggest possible solutions to control this.

There are several jusification, which come from the hustle and buslte life nowdays, contribute to this phenomenon.
The first reason for reputation of this trend is the lack of consumer’s awareness. For intance, fast food in the US is seemed to the cheapest food, which causes numerous bad affects to human’s healthy, but in a lower awareness nation as Viet Nam, convenience food, which could be expensive compering to Vietnam’s GDP, is sold with a high price in many local supermarkets and their residents might come to have lunch at those hugh market alhought their culture meals are more nutrious.
In addition, it is undeniable that the lack of monivation also contributes to poor eating habits trend. Currently,smart phone is becoming more and more innovative in order to meet the need of people, it has numerous addictive apps and on top of those apps is short videos on TikTok, which could help people avoid the poor reality by increasing quickly the dopamin in their brain, however, this can be additive, which result in the eating low quality food habit because they might want to have meals faster in order to continue to watch TikTok
Regarding to solution, I think that the most pratical solution for this unhealthy gratitude is edutcate to increasing people aweraness about the consequence is that if they consumed too much poor meals, it could caused a lot of diseases for their health such as: hight blood pressure, cancer, and diabetes. In my point of view, I opnied that another way to fix this problems is increase polistic security by banning inflicated individuals in the state system so that locals could earn more money and they might stop watching short videos to get some free Dopamin because they could have ability to get out of their poor situation.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "jusification" -> "justifications"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling error to "justifications" ensures the word is used correctly and maintains the formal tone of the essay.

2. "come from the hustle and buslte" -> "stem from the hectic and busy"
   Explanation: Replacing "come from the hustle and buslte" with "stem from the hectic and busy" corrects the spelling error and uses more precise vocabulary that is appropriate for academic writing.

3. "nowdays" -> "today"
   Explanation: "Nowdays" is a nonstandard spelling. "Today" is the correct form, enhancing the formal tone of the essay.

4. "reputation of this trend" -> "popularity of this trend"
   Explanation: "Reputation" is not the correct term here; "popularity" accurately describes the widespread acceptance or favorability of the trend.

5. "For intance" -> "For instance"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "For intance" to "For instance" ensures grammatical accuracy and maintains professionalism.

6. "seemed to the cheapest food" -> "appears to be the cheapest food"
   Explanation: "Seemed" is the wrong verb tense here; "appears" is the correct form to indicate a current state, and "to be" is necessary for the comparative structure.

7. "bad affects" -> "negative effects"
   Explanation: "Bad affects" is grammatically incorrect; "negative effects" is the correct term and is more formal and precise.

8. "compering" -> "comparing"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "compering" to "comparing" ensures the word is used correctly and maintains the formal tone.

9. "hugh market" -> "large market"
   Explanation: "Huge" is an adjective and should not be used as a noun; "large" is the correct noun form, enhancing clarity and formality.

10. "alhought" -> "although"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "alhought" to "although" ensures grammatical accuracy and maintains the formal tone.

11. "nutrious" -> "nutritious"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "nutrious" to "nutritious" ensures the word is used correctly and maintains professionalism.

12. "monivation" -> "motivation"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "monivation" to "motivation" ensures the word is used correctly and maintains the formal tone.

13. "smart phone" -> "smartphone"
    Explanation: "Smart phone" is not a standard term; "smartphone" is the correct compound noun, enhancing the formality and accuracy of the text.

14. "addictive apps" -> "addictive applications"
    Explanation: "Applications" is the correct term for software programs, enhancing the formality and precision of the description.

15. "quickly the dopamin" -> "quickly dopamine"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "dopamin" to "dopamine" ensures the scientific accuracy and maintains the formal tone.

16. "edutcate" -> "educate"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "edutcate" to "educate" ensures the word is used correctly and maintains the formal tone.

17. "pratical" -> "practical"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "pratical" to "practical" ensures the word is used correctly and maintains the formal tone.

18. "unhealthy gratitude" -> "unhealthy habits"
    Explanation: "Gratitude" is not the correct term here; "habits" is the appropriate noun to describe the behaviors being discussed, enhancing clarity and accuracy.

19. "opnied" -> "opined"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "opnied" to "opined" ensures the word is used correctly and maintains the formal tone.

20. "inflicated" -> "infected"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "inflicated" to "infected" ensures the word is used correctly and maintains the formal tone.

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Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing reasons for poor eating habits and suggesting solutions. However, the explanations are somewhat vague and lack depth. For instance, while the essay mentions "lack of consumer’s awareness," it does not clearly define what this means or provide concrete examples of how this affects eating habits. Similarly, the solutions proposed, such as educating people and increasing economic security, are mentioned but not elaborated upon sufficiently.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each part of the question is thoroughly explored. This could involve providing specific statistics or studies that illustrate the impact of poor eating habits and detailing how the suggested solutions could be implemented effectively. For example, discussing specific educational programs or policies that could raise awareness about nutrition would strengthen the argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position regarding the causes and solutions to poor eating habits, but the clarity of this position is undermined by several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, phrases like "the lack of consumer’s awareness" and "the lack of monivation" could confuse readers. Moreover, the transition between discussing reasons and solutions is abrupt, which can make the overall argument feel disjointed.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should focus on using straightforward language and ensuring that each paragraph logically flows into the next. Clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph could help clarify the main point being discussed. Additionally, revising sentences for grammatical accuracy and coherence will enhance the overall clarity of the essay.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas related to the reasons behind poor eating habits and potential solutions, but these ideas are not well-developed. For example, the mention of TikTok and its addictive nature is relevant, but the connection to poor eating habits is not fully explored. The solutions provided are also quite general and lack specific examples or evidence to support their effectiveness.
  • How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to elaborate on each idea presented. This could involve providing examples of successful educational campaigns or discussing how economic improvements have led to better eating habits in other countries. Using specific case studies or research findings can significantly strengthen the argument and provide a more compelling case for the proposed solutions.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the issues of poor eating habits and potential solutions. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, particularly when discussing the role of smartphones and TikTok. While these points are relevant, they could be more tightly connected to the main argument about eating habits.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the main topic of eating habits. It may be helpful to outline the essay before writing to ensure that all points are relevant and contribute to answering the prompt. Additionally, each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that ties back to the main thesis of the essay.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant ideas, it requires more depth, clarity, and coherence to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on elaborating points, improving grammatical accuracy, and ensuring logical flow will enhance the overall quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to poor eating habits and their causes, but the organization is somewhat haphazard. For instance, the transition from discussing consumer awareness to the influence of smartphones lacks a clear logical connection. The introduction mentions "hustle and bustle life," but this concept is not effectively tied to the subsequent points, leading to confusion about how each idea relates to the central theme. Additionally, the solutions presented at the end feel disconnected from the problems outlined earlier.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, it is advisable to create a clear outline before writing. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. For example, if discussing consumer awareness, the paragraph should focus solely on that aspect before transitioning to the next reason or solution. Using linking phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely" can help clarify relationships between ideas.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks effective paragraphing. While there are attempts to separate ideas, the paragraphs are not well-defined. For instance, the first paragraph mixes several ideas about consumer awareness and the influence of fast food without a clear structure. The second paragraph introduces a different topic (smartphone addiction) without a clear transition or separation from the previous point. This makes it difficult for the reader to follow the argument.
  • How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. For example, one paragraph could focus solely on the lack of consumer awareness, while another could address the impact of smartphones on eating habits. Additionally, ensure that paragraphs are visually distinct by leaving a space between them, which helps in guiding the reader through the essay.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices, which affects the overall coherence. While there are some attempts to use linking words, such as "in addition" and "however," they are not consistently applied. Moreover, the use of cohesive devices does not always enhance clarity; for example, "which could help people avoid the poor reality" is vague and does not clearly connect to the preceding sentence.
  • How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, it is essential to incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally" to structure arguments clearly. Additionally, phrases like "This means that" or "As a result" can help clarify the relationships between ideas. Practicing the use of cohesive devices in different contexts can also enhance their effectiveness in writing.

In summary, to elevate the essay’s coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing information logically, improving paragraph structure, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. These adjustments will create a clearer and more persuasive argument, ultimately leading to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "hustle and bustle," "convenience food," and "nutritious." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is repetitive or lacks variety, such as the frequent use of "poor eating habits" and "bad affects." The phrase "hugh market" appears to be an attempt to use more complex vocabulary, but it is incorrect and detracts from the overall impression.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "poor eating habits," alternatives like "unhealthy dietary choices" or "suboptimal nutrition" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more sophisticated vocabulary related to health and nutrition would be beneficial.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "the lack of consumer’s awareness" could be more accurately expressed as "the lack of consumer awareness." The phrase "bad affects to human’s healthy" is also vague and should be corrected to "negative effects on human health." Additionally, "in a lower awareness nation as Viet Nam" is awkward and unclear.
  • How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary, the writer should focus on clarity and correctness. Reviewing phrases for grammatical accuracy and ensuring that terms are used in their correct context will help. For instance, replacing "bad affects" with "negative impacts" and restructuring sentences for clarity will enhance the overall quality.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains multiple spelling errors, such as "jusification," "nowdays," "intance," "compering," "monivation," "pratical," "edutcate," "aweraness," "hight," "opnied," "inflicated," and "polistic." These errors detract from the professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that provide feedback on written work. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times or reading it aloud can help catch spelling mistakes. Creating a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary related to the topic, there are significant areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but it primarily relies on simple and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "There are several jusification, which come from the hustle and buslte life nowdays, contribute to this phenomenon" show an attempt at complex structure, but the execution is flawed due to grammatical errors. The use of phrases such as "the lack of consumer’s awareness" and "the lack of monivation" indicates a tendency to repeat similar structures without sufficient variation.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses and varied conjunctions. For example, instead of saying, "Currently, smart phone is becoming more and more innovative," the writer could use, "As smartphones become increasingly innovative, they contribute to poor eating habits by distracting users." Additionally, using passive voice or conditional sentences could add variety.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "jusification" should be "justifications," and "nowdays" should be "nowadays." The phrase "is seemed to the cheapest food" is incorrect; it should be "is seen as the cheapest food." Furthermore, punctuation errors, such as missing commas and run-on sentences, disrupt the flow of ideas. For instance, the sentence "Currently,smart phone is becoming more and more innovative in order to meet the need of people, it has numerous addictive apps…" is a run-on and should be split for clarity.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect verb forms. Utilizing grammar checking tools can also help identify mistakes before submission. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, particularly regarding commas and sentence boundaries, will enhance clarity. Reading more academic texts can provide examples of correct grammar and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas, the grammatical range and accuracy need significant improvement to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on diverse sentence structures and meticulous proofreading will greatly benefit the writer’s performance in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

There are several justifications that stem from the hectic and busy life nowadays, contributing to this phenomenon. The first reason for the popularity of this trend is the lack of consumer awareness. For instance, fast food in the US appears to be the cheapest food, which causes numerous negative effects on human health. However, in a lower awareness nation like Vietnam, convenience food, which could be expensive compared to Vietnam’s GDP, is sold at a high price in many local supermarkets, and their residents might choose to have lunch at those large markets, although their cultural meals are more nutritious.

In addition, it is undeniable that the lack of motivation also contributes to the trend of poor eating habits. Currently, smartphones are becoming more and more innovative in order to meet people’s needs. They have numerous addictive applications, and at the top of those apps are short videos on TikTok, which help people avoid the harsh reality by quickly increasing dopamine in their brains. However, this can be addictive, resulting in a habit of eating low-quality food because they might want to have meals faster in order to continue watching TikTok.

Regarding solutions, I think that the most practical solution for this unhealthy trend is to educate people to increase their awareness about the consequences of consuming too many poor meals. This could lead to a lot of diseases for their health, such as high blood pressure, cancer, and diabetes. In my point of view, I opine that another way to fix this problem is to increase holistic security by banning infected individuals from the state system so that locals could earn more money and might stop watching short videos to get some free dopamine because they would have the ability to escape their poor situation.