Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Currently, fewer people adopt bicycles as their main transports. This essay will delve into the causes of this decline and tactics to support cycling among individuals.
To begin with, the intial rationale is that cars have taken precedence over bicycles in this contemporary era. In comparison to bicycles, which necessitate cyclers times and efforts to travel, cars provide drivers with comfort and agility. To illustrate, temperatures is becoming increasingly scorching and driving in a car furnished with air-conditioning far outweigh rolling in sunlight with a bike. Moreover, the another reason is our fear of being considered less superior. Specifically, having a car will better demonstrate your social rank and hierarchy than a bicycle as cars prove the living standards and levels of wealth of the owners. For instance, driving your car to get a contract seems to be more formal and polite.
Secondly, the increased use of bicycles must depend on both governments and individuals. Influential organzations and authorities should raise awareness among individuals of the merits of utilizing this means of transport. As an illustration, they can instill the long-term benefits of cycling in terms of health and environments. Also, general population must grasp that bike does wonder for physical and mental well-being as well as decreases the levels of pollution. Besides, they have to remove the prejudice of adopting bike as an inferior property. Therefore, they may share this valuable concept with others and consistently adhere to it.
All things considered, there is a significant drop in the number of bike adopters in the light of technological advancements and exterior assessments. To address this issue, local governments have to broaden the perspectives among general population about the long-standing advantages of cycling; in addition, individuals should not label bicyles as less superior properties and share interest with others.

---

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Currently, fewer people adopt bicycles as their main transports." -> "Currently, fewer individuals opt for bicycles as their primary mode of transportation."
   Explanation: Replacing "adopt" with "opt for" and "main transports" with "primary mode of transportation" refines the language to be more precise and formal, suitable for an academic context.

2. "This essay will delve into the causes of this decline and tactics to support cycling among individuals." -> "This essay will explore the causes of this decline and strategies to promote cycling among individuals."
   Explanation: Replacing "delve into" with "explore" and "tactics" with "strategies" enhances the academic tone by using more precise and formal vocabulary.

3. "the intial rationale" -> "the initial rationale"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "intial" to "initial" ensures grammatical accuracy.

4. "necessitate cyclers times and efforts to travel" -> "require significant time and effort to travel"
   Explanation: Replacing "necessitate cyclers times and efforts" with "require significant time and effort" corrects the awkward phrasing and enhances clarity.

5. "temperatures is becoming increasingly scorching" -> "temperatures are becoming increasingly scorching"
   Explanation: Correcting "temperatures is" to "temperatures are" fixes the grammatical error and maintains subject-verb agreement.

6. "driving in a car furnished with air-conditioning far outweigh rolling in sunlight with a bike" -> "driving in an air-conditioned car far outweighs rolling in the sun on a bike"
   Explanation: Replacing "furnished with air-conditioning" with "air-conditioned" and "far outweigh" with "far outweighs" corrects the preposition and verb form, improving the sentence structure.

7. "the another reason" -> "another reason"
   Explanation: Removing "the" before "another" corrects the grammatical error, as "another" is an uncountable noun.

8. "having a car will better demonstrate your social rank and hierarchy" -> "owning a car better demonstrates one’s social status and hierarchy"
   Explanation: Replacing "having a car will better demonstrate" with "owning a car better demonstrates" and "your social rank and hierarchy" with "one’s social status and hierarchy" refines the language to be more formal and precise.

9. "cars prove the living standards and levels of wealth of the owners" -> "cars serve as indicators of the owners’ living standards and wealth"
   Explanation: Replacing "prove" with "serve as indicators" and rephrasing the sentence improves clarity and formality.

10. "driving your car to get a contract seems to be more formal and polite" -> "driving to a meeting in a car is perceived as more formal and professional"
    Explanation: Replacing "driving your car to get a contract" with "driving to a meeting in a car" and "seems to be more formal and polite" with "is perceived as more formal and professional" enhances the precision and formality of the statement.

11. "Influential organzations" -> "Influential organizations"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "organzations" to "organizations" ensures grammatical accuracy.

12. "general population must grasp that bike does wonder for physical and mental well-being" -> "the general public must recognize that cycling benefits physical and mental well-being"
    Explanation: Replacing "general population" with "the general public" and "bike does wonder" with "cycling benefits" corrects the awkward phrasing and enhances clarity and formality.

13. "decreases the levels of pollution" -> "reduces pollution levels"
    Explanation: Replacing "decreases the levels of pollution" with "reduces pollution levels" simplifies and clarifies the expression.

14. "label bicyles as less superior properties" -> "view bicycles as inferior"
    Explanation: Replacing "label bicyles as less superior properties" with "view bicycles as inferior" corrects the spelling and simplifies the phrase for clarity and formality.

15. "share interest with others" -> "share this perspective with others"
    Explanation: Replacing "share interest" with "share this perspective" provides a more precise and formal expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies reasons for the decline in bicycle use and suggests ways to encourage cycling. The first part discusses the preference for cars due to comfort and social status, while the second part proposes awareness campaigns and a shift in societal perceptions about cycling. However, the explanations could be more detailed and specific. For instance, while the essay mentions "fear of being considered less superior," it could elaborate on how societal values and urban planning contribute to this perception.
  • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should provide more specific examples and data to support their claims. For instance, citing statistics on bicycle usage trends or referencing successful cycling initiatives in other cities could strengthen the argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that both societal attitudes and technological advancements contribute to the decline of cycling. However, the transition between points could be smoother, and the conclusion could reinforce the main arguments more effectively. The phrase "the another reason" is awkward and detracts from the clarity of the position.
  • How to improve: To enhance clarity and consistency, the writer should use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Additionally, the conclusion should succinctly summarize the key points made in the essay and restate the importance of addressing the issues discussed.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the comfort of cars and societal perceptions of status. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, while the essay mentions health benefits of cycling, it does not elaborate on what these benefits are or how they can be effectively communicated to the public.
  • How to improve: To effectively present and extend ideas, the writer should aim to provide more in-depth analysis and examples. For instance, when discussing the health benefits of cycling, the writer could include specific studies or statistics that highlight the positive impacts of cycling on physical and mental health.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the decline in bicycle use and potential solutions. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the second paragraph where the discussion of social rank could be more directly tied to the decline in cycling.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. This can be achieved by consistently linking back to the main question in each paragraph and ensuring that all examples serve to illustrate the points being made about bicycle use.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, but it would benefit from deeper analysis, clearer transitions, and more specific examples to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the two main points to be discussed: the decline in bicycle usage and potential solutions to encourage cycling. Each body paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, which aids in logical progression. However, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing reasons for the decline to solutions feels somewhat abrupt, lacking a clear linking statement.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that connect ideas more fluidly. For example, after discussing the reasons for the decline, a sentence like "In light of these challenges, it is crucial to explore how we can promote cycling as a viable alternative" would provide a clearer transition to the solutions.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph addressing a distinct idea. The first paragraph discusses reasons for the decline in bicycle usage, while the second focuses on solutions. However, the first body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that encapsulate the main idea of the paragraph. Additionally, the conclusion, while summarizing the main points, could be more impactful if it reiterated the call to action more forcefully.
  • How to improve: Strengthen topic sentences in each paragraph to clearly indicate the main idea. For example, the first body paragraph could start with, "One significant reason for the decline in bicycle usage is the preference for cars due to their convenience." This would immediately inform the reader of the paragraph’s focus. In the conclusion, consider restating the importance of cycling and the role of both individuals and governments in fostering a cycling-friendly environment.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "To begin with," "Moreover," and "All things considered," which help in linking ideas. However, there is a noticeable repetition of certain phrases and a limited range of cohesive devices. For example, the use of "also" and "besides" could be varied to include alternatives like "furthermore" or "in addition." Additionally, the essay lacks some cohesive devices that indicate contrast or concession, which could enrich the argument.
  • How to improve: Diversify the range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay. Incorporate phrases that indicate contrast, such as "On the other hand," or "Conversely," to present opposing viewpoints or counterarguments. This will enhance the depth of the discussion. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to maintain clarity and coherence; for instance, using "however" to introduce a contrasting idea could strengthen the argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, there are opportunities for improvement in logical flow, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. By implementing these suggestions, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to an improved band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "adopt," "precedence," "tactics," and "merits." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. For instance, the phrase "cars provide drivers with comfort and agility" could be enhanced with more varied synonyms for "comfort" and "agility" to avoid repetition and show a broader lexical range. Additionally, phrases like "significant drop" and "long-standing advantages" are effective but could be complemented with more nuanced vocabulary to elevate the overall quality.
  • How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "comfort," alternatives like "convenience," "ease," or "luxury" could be used. Reading a variety of texts and noting new vocabulary can also help expand lexical choices.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, "the another reason" should be corrected to "another reason," and "temperatures is becoming increasingly scorching" contains a subject-verb agreement error. The phrase "bicycles, which necessitate cyclers times and efforts to travel" is awkward and unclear; it would be better stated as "bicycles, which require time and effort from cyclists." Such imprecisions can detract from the clarity of the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should carefully proofread their work for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Additionally, using a thesaurus to find the most appropriate word for the context can help. Practicing writing with a focus on clarity and conciseness will also aid in this area.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "intial" (initial), "organisations" (organizations), "bicyles" (bicycles), and "cyclers" (cyclists). These errors can disrupt the flow of reading and detract from the professionalism of the essay. The misspelling of "the another reason" indicates a lack of attention to detail that can impact the overall impression of the writing.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice and utilize spell-check tools when drafting their essays. Additionally, reading the essay aloud can help catch errors that may be overlooked when reading silently. Keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there is significant room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. Focusing on these areas will help elevate the lexical resource score in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of introductory phrases such as "To begin with" and "Secondly" helps to organize the ideas. However, the overall range is somewhat limited, with many sentences following a similar structure. For example, phrases like "the intial rationale is that" and "the another reason is" are repetitive in their construction. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "the increased use of bicycles must depend on both governments and individuals," which could be more effectively expressed.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice using different forms, such as conditional sentences (e.g., "If more bike lanes were created, more people might choose to cycle") and participial phrases (e.g., "Encouraged by government initiatives, many individuals would consider cycling"). Incorporating more complex sentences and varying the sentence openings can also add depth to the writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "the intial rationale is that cars have taken precedence over bicycles" contains a spelling error ("initial"), and "temperatures is becoming increasingly scorching" has a subject-verb agreement error ("temperatures are"). Additionally, the phrase "the another reason is" is incorrect; it should simply be "another reason is." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas, also appear, which can lead to run-on sentences and confusion in meaning.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. Practicing grammar exercises that target these areas can also be beneficial. For punctuation, understanding the rules for comma usage, especially in complex sentences, will help clarify meaning. Reading more academic texts can provide examples of correct grammar and punctuation in context, which can aid in developing a more intuitive grasp of these elements.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates some strengths in organization and idea development, there are notable weaknesses in grammatical range and accuracy that need to be addressed. By diversifying sentence structures and focusing on grammatical precision, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Currently, fewer people adopt bicycles as their main mode of transport. This essay will delve into the causes of this decline and tactics to support cycling among individuals.

To begin with, the initial rationale is that cars have taken precedence over bicycles in this contemporary era. In comparison to bicycles, which necessitate cyclists’ time and effort to travel, cars provide drivers with comfort and agility. To illustrate, temperatures are becoming increasingly scorching, and driving in a car furnished with air-conditioning far outweighs rolling in the sun on a bike. Moreover, another reason is our fear of being considered less superior. Specifically, having a car better demonstrates one’s social status and hierarchy than a bicycle, as cars serve as indicators of the owners’ living standards and wealth. For instance, driving your car to get a contract seems to be more formal and professional.

Secondly, the increased use of bicycles must depend on both governments and individuals. Influential organizations and authorities should raise awareness among individuals of the merits of utilizing this means of transport. As an illustration, they can instill the long-term benefits of cycling in terms of health and the environment. Also, the general public must grasp that biking does wonders for physical and mental well-being, as well as reduces pollution levels. Besides, they have to remove the prejudice of viewing bicycles as inferior. Therefore, they may share this valuable concept with others and consistently adhere to it.

All things considered, there is a significant drop in the number of bike adopters in light of technological advancements and external assessments. To address this issue, local governments have to broaden the perspectives among the general population about the long-standing advantages of cycling; in addition, individuals should not label bicycles as less superior and share their interest with others.