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Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transportation. Why is this the case?. what can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transportation. Why is this the case?. what can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

In the contemporary era, individuals tend to favor physical transportation less, including bicycles. This trend prompts a discussion on its causes and potential solutions. This essay aims to outline several strategies to encourage bicycle usage, acknowledging inconveniences and physical effort as contributing factors.

The observed decline in bicycle usage is largely attributed to their inefficiency and energy-intensive nature. In today's fast-paced lives, individuals are time-constrained due to heavy workloads, prompting them to prioritize efficiency. Additionally, prevalent automatic vehicles diminish the status of bicycles, as they require less physical effort. Consequently, bicycles hesitate to engage with physical activities.

To counter this trend, initiatives promoting bicycle usage are necessary. Governmental support for cycling can play a significant role. Implementing policies such as bicycles-sharing schemes or free parking for bicycles can encourage people to choose bicycles over other modes of transport. Furthermore, societal support is crucial. Allowing flexibility in workplace punctuality for cyclists can facilitate the habit of cycling among individuals.

In conclusion, while the inconvenience and physical demands of cycling have deterred its popularity, governmental and societal support can revitalize public interest in cycling.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "individuals tend to favor physical transportation less" -> "individuals are increasingly disinclined towards physical modes of transportation"
    Explanation: The original phrase is somewhat awkward and lacks precision. "Favoring physical transportation less" is not as clear as stating that individuals are becoming less inclined towards physical modes of transportation. "Disinclined" adds a formal touch, and "towards" is more appropriate than "to" in this context.

  2. "This trend prompts a discussion on its causes and potential solutions." -> "This trend prompts a discussion regarding its causes and potential solutions."
    Explanation: "On" is replaced with "regarding" for a more formal and precise phrasing. Additionally, "its" refers back to "the observed decline in bicycle usage" for clarity.

  3. "This essay aims to outline several strategies to encourage bicycle usage" -> "This essay aims to delineate several strategies to promote bicycle usage"
    Explanation: "Outline" is replaced with "delineate" for a more sophisticated term. "Promote" is used instead of "encourage" to convey a stronger sense of advocacy for bicycle usage.

  4. "In today’s fast-paced lives" -> "In today’s fast-paced society"
    Explanation: "Lives" is replaced with "society" for a smoother transition and to maintain formality.

  5. "Additionally, prevalent automatic vehicles" -> "Moreover, the prevalence of automated vehicles"
    Explanation: "Prevalent automatic vehicles" is awkward and lacks clarity. By specifying "the prevalence of automated vehicles," the sentence becomes clearer and more formal.

  6. "diminish the status of bicycles" -> "diminishes the standing of bicycles"
    Explanation: "Status" is replaced with "standing" for a more precise term. The verb form "diminishes" agrees with the subject "prevalence of automated vehicles."

  7. "Consequently, bicycles hesitate to engage with physical activities." -> "Consequently, individuals are reluctant to engage in physical activity with bicycles."
    Explanation: "Bicycles hesitate to engage with physical activities" is an awkward construction. By rephrasing to "individuals are reluctant to engage in physical activity with bicycles," the sentence becomes clearer and more formal.

  8. "To counter this trend, initiatives promoting bicycle usage are necessary." -> "To counteract this trend, initiatives to promote bicycle usage are imperative."
    Explanation: "Promoting bicycle usage" is changed to "to promote bicycle usage" for conciseness. "Necessary" is replaced with "imperative" for a stronger and more formal expression of importance.

  9. "Governmental support for cycling can play a significant role." -> "Governmental support for cycling can be instrumental."
    Explanation: "Play a significant role" is replaced with "be instrumental" for a more concise and formal expression.

  10. "Furthermore, societal support is crucial." -> "Furthermore, societal backing is indispensable."
    Explanation: "Crucial" is replaced with "indispensable" for a stronger emphasis on the necessity of societal support. "Backing" is more formal than "support."

  11. "Allowing flexibility in workplace punctuality for cyclists" -> "Granting flexibility in workplace schedules for cyclists"
    Explanation: "Allowing flexibility in workplace punctuality" is somewhat awkward. "Granting flexibility in workplace schedules" is clearer and more formal.

  12. "In conclusion, while the inconvenience and physical demands of cycling have deterred its popularity" -> "In conclusion, notwithstanding the inconvenience and physical demands associated with cycling, which have dampened its popularity"
    Explanation: "While" is replaced with "notwithstanding" for a more formal transition. The phrase "associated with cycling" is added for clarity, and "which have dampened its popularity" provides a more sophisticated expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both aspects of the prompt, discussing the reasons for the decline in bicycle usage and suggesting ways to encourage its resurgence. The essay identifies time constraints and the preference for efficiency as reasons for decreased bicycle usage and proposes governmental and societal support as solutions.
    • How to improve: To improve, the essay could delve deeper into the reasons for the decline in bicycle usage and offer more specific solutions. Providing concrete examples or data to support the argument would strengthen the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, asserting that governmental and societal support is necessary to encourage bicycle usage. The position is evident from the introduction to the conclusion.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, the essay could strengthen the introduction by explicitly stating the proposed solutions and the significance of addressing the issue of declining bicycle usage.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the causes of reduced bicycle usage and potential solutions. However, some ideas lack elaboration and could benefit from further development. For instance, the suggestion of governmental support is mentioned but not expanded upon with concrete examples or details.
    • How to improve: To improve, the essay should provide more detailed explanations and examples to support the proposed solutions. This would enhance the credibility and persuasiveness of the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, discussing the reasons for the decline in bicycle usage and strategies to promote its resurgence. However, there are minor deviations, such as the brief mention of automatic vehicles, which could be more directly linked to the main argument.
    • How to improve: To stay more focused, the essay should ensure that all points directly relate to the central argument and avoid tangential discussions that do not contribute substantially to addressing the prompt.

Overall, while the essay provides a coherent response to the prompt, there is room for improvement in terms of depth of analysis, clarity of expression, and relevance of supporting details. Strengthening these aspects would elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organization of ideas, with a structured introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect related to the decline in bicycle usage and potential solutions. For instance, the introduction sets the stage by acknowledging the decline and signaling the intent to discuss its causes and solutions. The body paragraphs then systematically delve into the reasons behind the decline and propose solutions, culminating in a concise conclusion that reinforces the importance of governmental and societal support.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider strengthening the transitions between paragraphs to ensure a seamless flow of ideas. Using explicit transitional phrases or sentences can help guide the reader through the essay’s progression more smoothly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its respective topic to avoid any potential confusion or overlap.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to organize and present its ideas. Each paragraph serves a distinct purpose, focusing on either identifying the causes of the decline in bicycle usage or proposing solutions to encourage its resurgence. The introduction provides an overview of the essay’s scope, while the subsequent body paragraphs delve into specific factors contributing to the decline and potential solutions. Finally, the conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.
    • How to improve: Consider refining the structure of individual paragraphs to ensure coherence and cohesion within each section. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Additionally, strive for a balanced distribution of information within paragraphs to maintain reader engagement and clarity.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to enhance coherence and cohesion. Examples include cohesive devices such as "Furthermore" and "In conclusion," which signal transitions between different sections of the essay. Additionally, the repetition of key terms like "bicycles" and "cycling" throughout the essay reinforces thematic continuity and coherence.
    • How to improve: While the essay utilizes cohesive devices effectively, consider expanding the range and diversity of these devices to further strengthen coherence. Introducing a broader array of transitional phrases and connectors can facilitate smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Moreover, strive for consistency in the use of cohesive devices throughout the essay to maintain a cohesive narrative flow.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, employing terms such as "contemporary era," "inefficiency," "prevalent," "counter," and "revitalize," among others. These words contribute to a sophisticated expression of ideas and enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further enrich the vocabulary, consider incorporating more specific terms related to transportation and urban mobility. For instance, instead of "inefficiency," you could use "inefficacy of bicycle infrastructure," or instead of "societal support," you could use "community endorsement." Additionally, introducing domain-specific terminology related to urban planning or behavioral psychology could add depth to the discussion.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The vocabulary usage in the essay is generally precise, with terms employed accurately to convey intended meanings. For example, the phrase "automatic vehicles diminish the status of bicycles" effectively communicates the idea that the prevalence of cars undermines the cultural and practical value of cycling. However, there are instances where more precise vocabulary choices could enhance clarity and specificity. For instance, the phrase "strategies to encourage bicycle usage" could be refined to "measures to incentivize bicycle adoption," providing a clearer indication of the proposed actions.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, carefully consider the nuances of vocabulary choices and opt for terms that precisely capture the intended concepts. Utilize domain-specific terminology where applicable and strive for concise yet comprehensive expression of ideas.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no evident errors detracting from readability or comprehension. Proper spelling enhances the professionalism and credibility of the writing, ensuring that the reader can engage with the content without distraction.
    • How to improve: Maintain diligence in proofreading to sustain the current standard of spelling accuracy. Consider leveraging spelling and grammar checking tools, as well as seeking feedback from peers or mentors, to identify and rectify any potential spelling errors. Additionally, practicing active reading habits can further reinforce familiarity with correct spelling conventions and minimize inadvertent mistakes.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures. There are examples of complex sentences (e.g., "The observed decline in bicycle usage is largely attributed to their inefficiency and energy-intensive nature.") as well as compound-complex sentences (e.g., "In today’s fast-paced lives, individuals are time-constrained due to heavy workloads, prompting them to prioritize efficiency."). These structures enhance the clarity and coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider integrating more conditional sentences (e.g., "If governments were to implement…") or passive constructions (e.g., "Initiatives promoting bicycle usage should be supported…"). This will add more variety and sophistication to your writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays generally accurate grammar and punctuation throughout. There are some instances where article usage could be refined (e.g., "The prevalent automatic vehicles diminish the status of bicycles…"), but errors are infrequent and do not obscure meaning. Commas are generally used correctly to aid clarity and separate clauses.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to the use of articles (e.g., "prevalent automatic vehicles" could be "the prevalent automatic vehicles"). Also, ensure consistency in plural forms (e.g., "Initiatives promoting bicycle usage" might read better as "Initiatives that promote bicycle usage"). Reviewing and editing for these specifics can elevate the overall accuracy of your writing.

In conclusion, your essay demonstrates strong grammatical range and accuracy, with a varied and effective use of sentence structures. To improve further, continue to diversify your sentence structures with more complex and varied constructions, and refine your grammar and punctuation for clarity and precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s modern age, there is a noticeable decline in the use of bicycles for transportation. This shift prompts a discussion about its reasons and possible solutions. This essay aims to highlight various strategies to promote bicycle usage, recognizing the challenges associated with it.

The decreasing use of bicycles can be mainly attributed to their inefficiency and the physical effort they require. In today’s fast-paced society, people are often pressed for time due to busy schedules, leading them to prioritize efficiency. Moreover, the increasing prevalence of automated vehicles diminishes the appeal of bicycles, as they demand less physical exertion. Consequently, individuals are hesitant to engage in physical activity through cycling.

To address this trend, it is crucial to implement initiatives that promote bicycle usage. Governmental support plays a vital role in this regard. Policies such as bike-sharing programs or providing free bicycle parking can incentivize people to opt for bicycles as their mode of transportation. Furthermore, societal backing is essential. Granting flexibility in workplace schedules for cyclists can make it easier for individuals to incorporate cycling into their daily routines.

In conclusion, despite the challenges such as inconvenience and physical demands associated with cycling, which have led to its declining popularity, governmental and societal support can help reignite public interest in cycling.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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