Nowadays the eating habits of people around the world are changing, causing many health problems including obesity. Why do people tend to eat so badly? What can be done to improve their eating habits?

In our contemporary society, bad eating habits have risen at an unprecedented rate, leading to many health issues such as obesity. This tendency, however, can be explained by several reasons and there are some potential measures to address this concern.

To begin with, unhealthy eating habits often appeal because of being occupied , its taste and convenience ,and social mainstream. First, due to the development of society, people have to spend most of their time in the rat race which takes less time to be laid back. Indeed, people have less time to refine their meals and prefer choosing junk food not only because of its convenience, but also its taste while the major fast food companies pay attention to their flavor products rather than the nutrients. Second, another factor contributing to unhealthy eating habits is social influence. Social and cultural norms can encourage the consumption of unhealthy food, as gathering and celebration of youngsters often are organized with takeaway food such as pizza, burger, and fried chicken.

To foster healthier eating habits, there are some practical methods that can be applied. Primarily, education should be involved in raising the awareness of people about how bad eating habits affect our life in the long term which may cause the focus of people on their meals. To be specific, schools, communities, and governments may all establish nutrition education programs to teach students about balanced meals, portion control, and reading food labels. Furthermore, the schools and companies should have changring in their work time and assignment in order to be reasonable. Therefore, people can have more time for themselves to seek healthy eating habits which means they, at that time, can prevent obesity and other health problems.

In conclusion, eating habits undoubtedly play a crucial role in people's health. Although people have many other reasons which cause unhealthy eating habits besides their own busy life, food’s taste, and cultural norms, it is recommended that people should focus on meal quality and the government should have the same fixed policies about working hours in response to this trend.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"bad eating habits" -> "unhealthy eating habits"
Explanation: "Bad" is a vague and informal term. "Unhealthy" is more precise and aligns better with formal language.
"have risen at an unprecedented rate" -> "have surged significantly"
Explanation: "Risen at an unprecedented rate" is overly dramatic and informal. "Surged significantly" maintains the emphasis on the increase while sounding more formal.
"This tendency, however, can be explained by several reasons" -> "This phenomenon, however, can be attributed to several factors"
Explanation: "Tendency" is somewhat vague. "Phenomenon" is more precise. "Explained by several reasons" is less formal than "attributed to several factors."
"To begin with" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "To begin with" is slightly informal. "Firstly" is a more formal transition.
"unhealthy eating habits often appeal because of being occupied" -> "unhealthy eating habits often arise due to busyness"
Explanation: "Appeal because of being occupied" is awkward and informal. "Arise due to busyness" is clearer and more formal.
"convenience ,and social mainstream" -> "convenience, and societal norms"
Explanation: "Social mainstream" is unclear and informal. "Societal norms" is more precise and formal.
"the rat race which takes less time to be laid back" -> "the rat race, leaving less time for leisure"
Explanation: "Takes less time to be laid back" is unclear and informal. "Leaving less time for leisure" is clearer and more formal.
"people have less time to refine their meals" -> "people have less time to prepare nutritious meals"
Explanation: "Refine their meals" is informal. "Prepare nutritious meals" is more precise and formal.
"major fast food companies pay attention to their flavor products rather than the nutrients" -> "major fast food companies prioritize flavor over nutritional content"
Explanation: "Pay attention to their flavor products rather than the nutrients" is wordy and informal. "Prioritize flavor over nutritional content" is more concise and formal.
"Second, another factor contributing to unhealthy eating habits is social influence." -> "Secondly, social influence is another contributing factor to unhealthy eating habits."
Explanation: Rearranged the sentence for clarity and added "Secondly" for better organization.
"gathering and celebration of youngsters often are organized with takeaway food such as pizza, burger, and fried chicken" -> "gatherings and celebrations among young people often involve takeaway food such as pizza, burgers, and fried chicken"
Explanation: Improved clarity and formality by restructuring the sentence and using more precise terms.
"To foster healthier eating habits" -> "To promote healthier dietary habits"
Explanation: "Foster" is somewhat informal. "Promote" is more formal and precise.
"practical methods that can be applied" -> "practical approaches"
Explanation: "Methods that can be applied" is redundant. "Approaches" is a more concise alternative.
"Primarily, education should be involved in raising the awareness of people" -> "First and foremost, education should play a role in raising public awareness"
Explanation: "Primarily, education should be involved" is awkward. "First and foremost, education should play a role" is more formal and concise.
"may cause the focus of people on their meals" -> "may shift people’s focus to their dietary habits"
Explanation: "Cause the focus of people on their meals" is awkward. "Shift people’s focus to their dietary habits" is clearer and more formal.
"Furthermore, the schools and companies should have changring in their work time and assignment in order to be reasonable." -> "Furthermore, schools and companies should consider adjusting work schedules and assignments to promote healthier lifestyles."
Explanation: "Have changring in their work time" is unclear and informal. "Adjusting work schedules and assignments" is clearer and more formal.
"Therefore, people can have more time for themselves to seek healthy eating habits which means they, at that time, can prevent obesity and other health problems." -> "Therefore, individuals can allocate more time to cultivate healthy eating habits, thereby mitigating the risk of obesity and other health issues."
Explanation: Reworded for clarity and formality. Removed redundant phrases.
"In conclusion, eating habits undoubtedly play a crucial role in people’s health." -> "In conclusion, dietary habits undoubtedly exert a significant influence on individuals’ health."
Explanation: "Eating habits" is slightly informal. "Dietary habits" is more formal. Replaced "crucial role" with "significant influence" for variety and formality.
"Although people have many other reasons which cause unhealthy eating habits besides their own busy life" -> "While individuals face various factors contributing to unhealthy dietary patterns beyond their own busy lifestyles"
Explanation: Reworded for clarity and formality. Removed redundancy.
"it is recommended that people should focus on meal quality and the government should have the same fixed policies about working hours in response to this trend." -> "It is advisable for individuals to prioritize meal quality, while governments should implement consistent policies regarding working hours in response to this trend."
Explanation: "It is recommended that people should" is redundant. "Advisable for individuals to prioritize" is more concise. Improved formality and clarity in the second part of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question by discussing reasons why people tend to eat poorly and suggesting measures to improve eating habits. It identifies factors such as busy lifestyles, taste preferences, convenience, and social influences contributing to unhealthy eating habits. Additionally, it proposes solutions such as nutrition education programs and changes in work schedules to promote healthier eating.
- How to improve: To enhance the completeness of the response, the essay could provide more specific examples or statistics to support its points. Additionally, it would benefit from a deeper exploration of how cultural norms and social influences affect eating habits, providing more nuanced insights into this aspect.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that bad eating habits are driven by factors such as busy lifestyles, taste preferences, and social influences. It consistently advocates for improving eating habits through education and policy changes.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, the essay could explicitly state its position in the introduction and conclusion. Additionally, it could use stronger transitions between paragraphs to reinforce its stance and guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the reasons for unhealthy eating habits and potential solutions, but the development and support of these ideas are somewhat limited. While it mentions factors such as busy lifestyles and social influences, it could elaborate further on each point and provide more evidence or examples to bolster its arguments.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and development of ideas, the essay could include more detailed explanations of each factor contributing to unhealthy eating habits, supported by relevant examples or studies. Additionally, it could explore potential challenges or counterarguments to its proposed solutions and address them effectively.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the reasons for poor eating habits and suggesting ways to improve them. However, there are minor instances where the focus could be sharper, such as the brief mention of changing work schedules without further elaboration on its relevance to the topic.
- How to improve: To maintain a stronger focus on the topic, the essay could ensure that each point made directly relates to the prompt and contributes to the overall argument. It should avoid tangential discussions or details that do not significantly contribute to addressing the main question.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a coherent argument, there is room for improvement in providing more specific examples, strengthening the clarity of its position, developing ideas more thoroughly, and maintaining a sharper focus on the topic throughout. With these enhancements, the essay could achieve a higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt to organize information logically, with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections. However, there are instances where the flow of ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition between discussing reasons for unhealthy eating habits and proposing solutions feels slightly abrupt, lacking a seamless connection between the two segments.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider establishing stronger transitional phrases or sentences between paragraphs to maintain coherence. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph follows a clear thematic progression, with ideas logically building upon each other to create a cohesive argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively to structure its content. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, such as reasons for unhealthy eating habits and proposed solutions. However, some paragraphs could benefit from further development and coherence within themselves. For instance, the paragraph discussing social influence could be more focused and cohesive.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph coherence by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Support this idea with relevant evidence or examples, and conclude the paragraph by reinforcing its significance in relation to the essay’s overall argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases ("To begin with," "Furthermore," "In conclusion") and pronouns ("its," "they"). However, there is room for improvement in the diversity and effectiveness of these devices. Some transitions feel mechanical and lack finesse, detracting from the essay’s overall coherence.
- How to improve: Enhance the use of cohesive devices by incorporating a wider range of transition words and phrases to create smoother connections between ideas. Additionally, strive for more natural and seamless integration of cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay. Varying sentence structures and utilizing cohesive devices within sentences can also contribute to improved cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There are instances of varied word choice, such as "contemporary society," "unprecedented rate," "occupied," "rat race," "convenience," "social mainstream," "nutrition education programs," and "portion control." However, there is also repetition of certain terms like "unhealthy eating habits," "people," and "meals," which indicates some limitation in lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical range, consider incorporating synonyms and avoiding repetitive phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "unhealthy eating habits," you could interchange it with phrases like "poor dietary choices," "unwholesome food consumption," or "suboptimal eating behaviors." Additionally, strive to introduce more specialized vocabulary related to the topic, such as terms specific to nutrition, health, and lifestyle choices.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates both precise and imprecise usage of vocabulary. For example, the phrase "bad eating habits" could be more precisely replaced with terms like "unhealthy dietary patterns" or "detrimental eating behaviors." Similarly, phrases like "taste and convenience" could be more accurately expressed as "flavor appeal and convenience," distinguishing between taste and convenience as separate factors.
- How to improve: To improve precision, carefully select vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. Consider consulting a thesaurus or specialized literature to identify more precise terms related to nutrition, health, and societal influences on eating habits. Additionally, pay attention to nuances in meaning and use vocabulary that effectively communicates the specific ideas being presented.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates moderate accuracy in spelling. Most words are spelled correctly, but there are several instances of spelling errors, such as "changring" instead of "changing," "feasibly" instead of "feasible," and missing spaces between words in phrases like "balanced meals" and "nutrition education programs." While these errors do not significantly impede comprehension, they detract from the overall professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-checking tools or proofreading techniques to identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay. Additionally, reviewing common spelling rules and practicing spellings of frequently used words can help reinforce accurate spelling habits. Taking the time to thoroughly proofread written work can significantly enhance spelling proficiency and overall writing quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a fair range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, there are sentences like "To begin with, unhealthy eating habits often appeal because of being occupied," which is a complex sentence with a subordinate clause. However, there is room for improvement in the variety of sentence structures. More complex sentence structures, such as conditional sentences or passive constructions, could be incorporated to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating conditional sentences (e.g., "If people were more aware of the nutritional value of their meals, they might make healthier choices"), passive voice constructions (e.g., "Unhealthy food is often consumed due to its convenience and taste"), and varied sentence beginnings (e.g., Starting a sentence with a gerund phrase or a participial phrase). This will add depth and complexity to your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy with few errors. There are instances where articles are missing (e.g., "due to being occupied") or where punctuation could be improved for clarity (e.g., "convenience ,and social mainstream" should be "convenience, and social mainstream"). Additionally, there are minor subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., "there are some practical methods that can be applied" could be "there are some practical methods that can be applied").
- How to improve: Focus on improving article usage (a, an, the) to ensure clarity and precision in your sentences. Review subject-verb agreement rules to eliminate errors in agreement. Pay attention to punctuation, especially commas, to improve the flow and readability of your sentences. Proofreading and editing your work carefully can help catch these types of errors.

Overall, your essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, but there is room for refinement in terms of sentence variety and grammatical accuracy. Keep practicing and incorporating feedback to enhance your writing skills further.

Bài sửa mẫu

In our modern society, unhealthy eating habits have surged, contributing to various health issues like obesity. This trend, however, can be attributed to several factors and addressed through practical measures.

To start, unhealthy eating habits often stem from busy lifestyles, taste preferences, and societal influences. Firstly, as society advances, individuals find themselves caught up in the rat race, leaving little time for relaxation. Consequently, they opt for quick, convenient junk food, prioritizing taste over nutrition. Additionally, major fast food companies prioritize flavor over health benefits in their products. Secondly, social influence also plays a significant role. Social norms often promote the consumption of unhealthy foods, especially during gatherings and celebrations, where fast food like pizza, burgers, and fried chicken are prevalent.

To promote healthier eating habits, practical approaches can be implemented. Firstly, education should be leveraged to raise awareness about the long-term effects of poor eating habits, shifting people’s focus to their dietary choices. Specifically, nutrition education programs in schools, communities, and government initiatives can teach individuals about balanced meals, portion control, and interpreting food labels. Furthermore, adjustments in school and work schedules can allow individuals more time to prioritize healthy eating habits, thus mitigating the risk of obesity and other health issues.

In conclusion, dietary habits significantly impact individuals’ health. While various factors contribute to unhealthy eating patterns beyond busy lifestyles, taste preferences, and cultural norms, it’s advisable for individuals to prioritize meal quality. Governments should also implement consistent policies regarding working hours to address this trend effectively.