nowadays, the environmental quality is getting worse and worse, what are the reason? What can be done to solve this problem?

It is thought that there is the dire state of the environment in recent years. Although this worse condition can be caused by some culprits, I think some feasible solutions could be given to solve it.
On the one hand, there are a great number of rationales to explain why the environmental degradation is getting serious. Firstly, air pollution is one of the most pressing environmental problems that many nations are facing today. To be more specific, the impure air can be caused by the burning of fossil fuels to run companies and the exhaust fumes from private vehicles. This process releases a huge amount of harmful emissions into the air which could cause respiratory illness . However air pollution is a short-term process, it can cause long-term damage. As a result, the global warming and climate change can cause the rising sea levels which leads to the lost of coastal cities in the future. Furthermore, this ones can cause the intensify natural disasters which happen frequently and become flood, drought, hurricane unpredictable. This leads people to suffer from the decrease in amount of food because of perishing agriculture. Therefore, human lives could be threatened.
Secondly, the wasted pollution plays a pivotal role in the environmental degradation. Because of the higher living standard, along with population explosion, the mass production was invented to meet the increasing demand of people which made low-priced goods. This means that the products are inferior quality, people use for a short period of time. As a result, people throw them away and tend to litter and create natural pollutants unknowingly. This leads to release waste into ocean, lake, landfill and cause land pollution.
On the other hand, I think that several effective measures could be taken into account to improve the environmental condition. Firstly, the government enact some environmental legislations to enhance the environmental quality. To be more specific, the heavy punishments are carried out to penalize citizens who break the environment laws. In addition, the state could impose heavy taxes on companies that favor in unsustainable business practices such as using plastic bags or fossil fuels. Therefore, many individuals turn to live and make profits by green practices. Secondly, the companies should invest in wasted disposal treatment systems. This means that the huge amount of waste could be treated before being released into the environment. As a result, the damaging environment is getting slowly, even stop. Thirdly, the awareness of citizens plays an equally important role in environmental improvement. This means that people choose green lifestyles such as taking public transports, recycling waste, avoiding impulsive buying. Therefore, the natural environment is being improved by human activities.
In conclusion, I am convinced that some possible solutions could be given to solve the worse environmental condition. By many activities, the government and citizens can make a difference in taking care of the environment

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is thought that there is the dire state of the environment" -> "It is believed that the environment is in a dire state"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and lacks clarity. The revised version is more direct and maintains a formal tone suitable for academic writing.
"this worse condition" -> "this worsening condition"
Explanation: "Worse" is an adjective and should be used with a singular noun. "Worsening" is the correct adverbial form needed here to describe the ongoing process of deterioration.
"some feasible solutions could be given to solve it" -> "feasible solutions could be implemented to address it"
Explanation: "Given" is not the correct verb in this context; "implemented" is more precise and appropriate for discussing the application of solutions. Additionally, "address" is a more formal synonym for "solve" in this context.
"a great number of rationales" -> "numerous rationales"
Explanation: "A great number of" is redundant; "numerous" is more concise and academically appropriate.
"the impure air" -> "polluted air"
Explanation: "Impure" is not typically used to describe air pollution; "polluted" is the standard term in environmental contexts.
"the exhaust fumes from private vehicles" -> "exhaust fumes from private vehicles"
Explanation: "The" is unnecessary before "exhaust fumes" as it is not a specific instance of exhaust fumes, but rather a general description.
"cause respiratory illness" -> "cause respiratory illnesses"
Explanation: "Illness" should be plural to match the general and ongoing nature of the impact on health.
"this ones" -> "these"
Explanation: "This ones" is grammatically incorrect; "these" is the correct pronoun to refer back to the previously mentioned environmental issues.
"the lost of coastal cities" -> "the loss of coastal cities"
Explanation: "Lost" is a verb, not a noun; "loss" is the correct noun form needed here.
"the decrease in amount of food" -> "a decrease in food availability"
Explanation: "Amount of food" is awkward and vague; "food availability" is a more precise and formal term.
"the wasted pollution" -> "waste pollution"
Explanation: "Wasted pollution" is incorrect; "waste pollution" is the correct term to describe pollution caused by waste.
"the mass production was invented" -> "mass production was increased"
Explanation: "Invented" is incorrect; "increased" accurately describes the growth in production levels.
"the products are inferior quality" -> "the products have inferior quality"
Explanation: "Are" is incorrect; "have" is the correct verb form needed to describe the inherent quality of the products.
"people throw them away and tend to litter" -> "people dispose of them and tend to litter"
Explanation: "Throw away" is informal and imprecise; "dispose of" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"impose heavy taxes on companies that favor in unsustainable business practices" -> "impose heavy taxes on companies that engage in unsustainable business practices"
Explanation: "Favor in" is grammatically incorrect; "engage in" is the correct phrase for describing involvement in practices.
"the awareness of citizens plays an equally important role" -> "citizen awareness plays an equally important role"
Explanation: "The awareness of citizens" is awkward and verbose; "citizen awareness" is more direct and formal.
"avoiding impulsive buying" -> "avoiding impulsive purchases"
Explanation: "Buying" is too informal and vague; "purchases" is more precise and formal.

These changes enhance the clarity, formality, and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies reasons for the worsening environmental quality and suggests solutions to tackle the issue. The discussion on air pollution and waste pollution as causes is relevant and well-articulated. The proposed solutions, such as government legislation and public awareness, are also pertinent. However, the essay could benefit from a more structured approach to explicitly delineate the reasons and solutions, perhaps by using clearer topic sentences or transitional phrases.
- How to improve: To enhance the comprehensiveness of the response, the writer should ensure that each reason and solution is clearly separated and introduced. For example, using phrases like "Firstly," "Secondly," and "In addition," can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Additionally, providing specific examples or statistics could strengthen the arguments presented.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges the seriousness of environmental degradation while advocating for feasible solutions. The stance is consistent throughout the essay, as the author repeatedly emphasizes the need for both governmental and individual actions. However, the introduction could be clearer in stating the position, as it currently uses somewhat vague language ("some feasible solutions could be given").
- How to improve: The writer should aim to articulate their position more explicitly in the introduction. A stronger thesis statement that clearly outlines the main points to be discussed would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader. Additionally, reiterating the main position in the conclusion can reinforce the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several relevant ideas about the causes of environmental degradation and potential solutions. Each point is generally supported with explanations, such as the link between air pollution and respiratory illness. However, some ideas could be better developed; for instance, the discussion on waste pollution could include more specific examples of how waste impacts the environment.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and evidence to support their claims. For instance, citing specific studies or statistics about the impact of air pollution or waste on health and the environment would enhance the credibility of the arguments. Additionally, expanding on the implications of the proposed solutions would provide a more thorough exploration of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, focusing on the causes of environmental degradation and potential solutions. However, there are moments where the writing becomes slightly convoluted, particularly in the discussion of natural disasters and their connection to environmental issues, which could distract from the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the main question. This can be achieved by consistently linking back to the prompt in each paragraph and avoiding tangential discussions that do not directly contribute to the argument. Using clear topic sentences that reflect the main idea of each paragraph can also help keep the writing on track.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-structured argument. With some refinements in clarity, development, and focus, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two main body paragraphs addressing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. The ideas are generally organized logically, with causes presented before solutions. However, some points within paragraphs lack a smooth transition, which can disrupt the flow. For example, the transition from discussing air pollution to the effects of global warming could be more seamless. Additionally, the mention of "wasted pollution" could be better integrated into the overall argument to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that outline the main idea. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Moreover" can help connect ideas within and between paragraphs more effectively. Structuring each paragraph to start with a clear point followed by supporting details will also improve coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, separating causes and solutions into distinct sections. However, some paragraphs are overly long and contain multiple ideas that could be split into smaller, more focused paragraphs. For instance, the second body paragraph discussing the causes of environmental degradation could be divided into two: one focusing on air pollution and the other on waste pollution. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each cause.
- How to improve: Aim to keep paragraphs focused on a single main idea. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. If a paragraph starts to contain multiple ideas, consider breaking it into two separate paragraphs to maintain clarity and focus.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "On the one hand," which help to organize the information. However, there is a reliance on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel repetitive. For example, the phrase "this means that" is used multiple times, which can detract from the overall sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use alternatives such as "Consequently," "As a result," "In contrast," and "Additionally" to connect ideas. This will not only improve the flow of the essay but also enhance its overall coherence. Additionally, varying sentence structures can help maintain reader interest and improve cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, focusing on logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will lead to a stronger and more cohesive argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "environmental degradation," "pollution," and "sustainable business practices" indicating an understanding of the topic. However, there are instances of repetitive language, such as the frequent use of "environmental" and "pollution," which limits the lexical variety. Additionally, phrases like "the dire state of the environment" and "the wasted pollution" could be expressed more effectively with synonyms or varied constructions.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "pollution," alternatives like "contamination" or "degradation" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "environmental crisis" or "ecological decline" could add variety. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary lists related to environmental issues may help broaden lexical choices.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are notable inaccuracies. For instance, the phrase "the wasted pollution" is awkward and imprecise; it would be clearer to refer to "waste" or "waste products." Similarly, "the lost of coastal cities" should be corrected to "loss of coastal cities." The phrase "this ones can cause the intensify natural disasters" is also problematic; "this" should refer to a singular noun, and "intensify" should be "intensified."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that nouns and pronouns agree in number and that verbs are used in the correct forms. Regularly reviewing grammar rules and practicing sentence construction can help. Additionally, reading high-quality essays on environmental topics can provide examples of precise vocabulary usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "worse" instead of "worsening," "perishing" instead of "perishing," and "legislations" which should be "legislation" when referring to laws in general. These errors detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Additionally, writing practice with a focus on spelling can help reinforce correct forms.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary related to environmental issues, improvements in range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource. Engaging actively with vocabulary-building exercises and proofreading strategies will significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "Although this worse condition can be caused by some culprits, I think some feasible solutions could be given to solve it." However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as the frequent use of "this means that" and "as a result," which can detract from the overall variety. Additionally, some sentences are overly long and convoluted, which may hinder clarity, such as "This leads people to suffer from the decrease in amount of food because of perishing agriculture."
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied conjunctions and transition phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "this means that," you could use alternatives like "which implies that" or "leading to." Additionally, breaking down complex sentences into shorter, clearer ones can improve readability. Practice using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For instance, in the phrase "However air pollution is a short-term process," a comma is needed after "However." Additionally, phrases like "the lost of coastal cities" should be corrected to "the loss of coastal cities." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "this ones can cause the intensify natural disasters," which should be "these can cause intensified natural disasters." Furthermore, the use of articles is inconsistent, such as in "the wasted pollution," where "waste pollution" would be more appropriate.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully and focus on common grammatical rules, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. Consider practicing with grammar exercises that target these areas. Additionally, using punctuation correctly can significantly improve clarity; for example, always use commas after introductory phrases and before conjunctions in compound sentences. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors.

By addressing these areas of improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is thought that there is a dire state of the environment in recent years. Although this worsening condition can be caused by some culprits, I think some feasible solutions could be implemented to solve it.

On the one hand, there are numerous rationales to explain why environmental degradation is getting serious. Firstly, air pollution is one of the most pressing environmental problems that many nations are facing today. To be more specific, impure air can be caused by the burning of fossil fuels to run companies and the exhaust fumes from private vehicles. This process releases a huge amount of harmful emissions into the air, which could cause respiratory illnesses. However, although air pollution is a short-term process, it can cause long-term damage. As a result, global warming and climate change can cause rising sea levels, which lead to the loss of coastal cities in the future. Furthermore, these can intensify natural disasters, which happen frequently and become unpredictable floods, droughts, and hurricanes. This leads people to suffer from a decrease in food availability because of perishing agriculture. Therefore, human lives could be threatened.

Secondly, waste pollution plays a pivotal role in environmental degradation. Because of the higher living standards, along with population explosion, mass production was invented to meet the increasing demand of people, which resulted in low-priced goods. This means that the products are of inferior quality and are used for a short period of time. As a result, people throw them away and tend to litter, creating natural pollutants unknowingly. This leads to waste being released into oceans, lakes, and landfills, causing land pollution.

On the other hand, I think that several effective measures could be taken into account to improve environmental conditions. Firstly, the government should enact some environmental legislation to enhance environmental quality. To be more specific, heavy punishments should be carried out to penalize citizens who break environmental laws. In addition, the state could impose heavy taxes on companies that engage in unsustainable business practices, such as using plastic bags or fossil fuels. Therefore, many individuals could turn to live and make profits through green practices. Secondly, companies should invest in waste disposal treatment systems. This means that the huge amount of waste could be treated before being released into the environment. As a result, environmental damage could be reduced or even stopped. Thirdly, citizen awareness plays an equally important role in environmental improvement. This means that people should choose green lifestyles, such as taking public transport, recycling waste, and avoiding impulsive purchases. Therefore, the natural environment can be improved by human activities.

In conclusion, I am convinced that some possible solutions could be implemented to solve the worsening environmental condition. Through various activities, the government and citizens can make a difference in taking care of the environment.