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Nowadays, the traditions and customs relating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing. Why is this happening? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative?

Nowadays, the traditions and customs relating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing. Why is this happening? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative?

In recent years, there has been a noticeable shift in the traditions and customs associated with food consumption. This change can be attributed to several factors.

Firstly, globalization has played a significant role in altering our eating habits. As people migrate and cultures intermingle, food habits evolve. We are now more exposed to international cuisines than ever before, leading to a fusion of food cultures.

Secondly, the rise of technology has revolutionized the way we procure and consume food. Online delivery services, for instance, have made a wide variety of food available at our fingertips.

Lastly, growing health consciousness among people has led to changes in dietary habits. Many are now opting for organic, vegan, or gluten-free diets, moving away from traditional food practices.

Whether these changes are positive or negative is subjective and depends on one's perspective. On the positive side, these changes have led to a diversification of our diet, making it more interesting and cosmopolitan. It has also made it easier for people with specific dietary requirements to find suitable food options.

However, on the downside, the shift towards fast food and away from home-cooked meals could lead to health issues. Moreover, the loss of traditional food practices could lead to the erosion of cultural identity.

In conclusion, while the changing food traditions reflect the dynamic nature of our society, it is crucial to strike a balance between embracing new food habits and preserving our culinary heritage.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "there has been a noticeable shift" -> "there has been a discernible shift"
    Explanation: Replacing "noticeable" with "discernible" elevates the formality of the language by using a more sophisticated term without compromising clarity.

  2. "This change can be attributed to several factors." -> "This transformation can be ascribed to various factors."
    Explanation: Substituting "change" with "transformation" and "attributed" with "ascribed" adds nuance to the sentence, offering a more precise and formal expression.

  3. "altered our eating habits" -> "modified our dietary practices"
    Explanation: Changing "altered" to "modified" and "eating habits" to "dietary practices" enhances precision and formality, aligning with academic style.

  4. "We are now more exposed to international cuisines than ever before" -> "We are now increasingly exposed to a variety of international cuisines."
    Explanation: Replacing "more" with "increasingly" and adding "a variety of" improves the precision and formality of the statement.

  5. "food habits evolve" -> "culinary practices evolve"
    Explanation: Substituting "food habits" with "culinary practices" contributes to a more formal tone without sacrificing clarity.

  6. "wide variety of food available at our fingertips" -> "an extensive array of food accessible at our fingertips"
    Explanation: Using "an extensive array" instead of "wide variety" and "accessible" instead of "available" enhances formality and precision, respectively.

  7. "revolutionized the way we procure and consume food" -> "revolutionized our food procurement and consumption practices"
    Explanation: Replacing "the way we procure and consume food" with "our food procurement and consumption practices" adds specificity and formality.

  8. "made a wide variety of food available at our fingertips" -> "made an extensive array of culinary options accessible"
    Explanation: Substituting "wide variety of food" with "extensive array of culinary options" and "available" with "accessible" improves precision and formality.

  9. "Many are now opting for organic, vegan, or gluten-free diets" -> "A growing number now choose organic, vegan, or gluten-free dietary preferences."
    Explanation: Using "a growing number" instead of "many" and "choose" instead of "opting for" contributes to a more formal tone.

  10. "dining habits" -> "dietary preferences"
    Explanation: Replacing "dining habits" with "dietary preferences" adds specificity and formality.

  11. "Whether these changes are positive or negative is subjective" -> "The subjectivity of whether these changes are positive or negative"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence to emphasize subjectivity and using more formal language enhances academic style.

  12. "led to a diversification of our diet" -> "resulted in a diversification of our dietary choices"
    Explanation: Substituting "led to" with "resulted in" and "diet" with "dietary choices" improves precision and formality.

  13. "making it more interesting and cosmopolitan" -> "rendering it more diverse and cosmopolitan"
    Explanation: Replacing "making" with "rendering" and "interesting" with "diverse" elevates the formality and sophistication of the expression.

  14. "it easier for people" -> "it more convenient for individuals"
    Explanation: Replacing "easier" with "more convenient" adds nuance and formality to the statement.

  15. "the shift towards fast food" -> "the transition to fast food consumption"
    Explanation: Substituting "shift towards" with "transition to" contributes to a more formal and precise description.

  16. "lead to health issues" -> "result in health implications"
    Explanation: Replacing "lead to" with "result in" and "health issues" with "health implications" enhances formality and precision.

  17. "moreover" -> "furthermore"
    Explanation: Replacing "moreover" with "furthermore" contributes to a more formal transition between ideas.

  18. "culinary heritage" -> "culinary traditions"
    Explanation: Using "culinary traditions" instead of "culinary heritage" maintains formality while providing a more precise term.

  19. "reflect the dynamic nature of our society" -> "reflect the dynamic nature of our evolving society"
    Explanation: Adding "evolving" contributes to a more precise and nuanced description, maintaining formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt. It discusses the reasons for the changing traditions and customs related to food consumption and explores both positive and negative aspects.
    • How to improve: While the essay adequately addresses all parts, it could benefit from providing more specific examples or evidence to support its points, enhancing the depth of analysis.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, acknowledging both positive and negative aspects of the changing food traditions. The stance is consistent, and transitions between ideas are smooth.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, consider explicitly stating the author’s stance in the introduction and conclusion, providing a roadmap for the reader.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas about the reasons behind changing food traditions, extending them with relevant points. Examples such as globalization, technology, and health consciousness are well-elaborated.
    • How to improve: While the essay provides good examples, adding more specific details or real-life examples could enhance the richness of the content, making the ideas more vivid and compelling.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a focus on the topic throughout, discussing the factors leading to changing food traditions and evaluating the positive and negative implications.
    • How to improve: To further stay on topic, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the prompt, avoiding generalizations or tangential discussions. Be vigilant about maintaining relevance.

Overall Comments:
The essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt. To enhance its quality, consider incorporating more specific examples or evidence, explicitly stating the author’s position, and providing additional details to make the content more vivid. The essay effectively balances the discussion of positive and negative aspects, contributing to its coherence and comprehensiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a reasonable level of logical organization. The introduction presents the main idea clearly, followed by well-structured body paragraphs discussing the causes and effects of changing food traditions. The conclusion summarizes the key points effectively. However, there is room for improvement in the transition between paragraphs, which could be more seamless to enhance overall coherence.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider refining transitions between paragraphs. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that relates to the previous one, creating a smooth flow of ideas. Additionally, ensure that the progression of ideas follows a natural sequence, making it easier for the reader to follow the essay’s logical structure.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs paragraphs effectively, with each one focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. However, there is an opportunity to improve the structure within paragraphs, particularly in the second body paragraph. The idea of technology’s impact on food consumption is somewhat fragmented and could benefit from clearer sub-divisions.
    • How to improve: Work on refining the structure within paragraphs, ensuring a clear and logical progression of ideas. Consider breaking down complex ideas into smaller sub-points within a paragraph, each contributing to the overall coherence of that specific section.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases ("Firstly," "Secondly," "Lastly," "On the positive side," "However," "In conclusion"). These devices contribute to the overall cohesion by signaling the organization of ideas. However, there’s room to diversify the types of cohesive devices used, including pronouns, conjunctions, and synonyms, to add nuance and sophistication.
    • How to improve: Aim to use a broader range of cohesive devices to enhance variety and sophistication. For instance, incorporate pronouns ("these changes," "it," "they") and conjunctions ("although," "furthermore") where appropriate. This not only improves coherence but also adds a layer of complexity to the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, but refinements in transitions, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices can elevate the essay to a more advanced level.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to incorporate varied words and phrases, especially in discussing the factors influencing changing food traditions. For instance, terms like "globalization," "intermingle," and "cosmopolitan" contribute to the diversity of vocabulary. However, some repetition of words, such as "food" and "habits," is noticeable and limits the extent of lexical variety.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider exploring synonyms and alternative expressions for frequently used words. Additionally, introducing more sophisticated vocabulary in the analysis and conclusion sections can elevate the lexical richness of the essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary appropriately, but there are instances where precision could be improved. For example, in the statement, "the traditions and customs associated with food consumption," the term "associated with" is somewhat vague. A more precise term like "pertaining to" or "related to" would convey the idea more clearly.
    • How to improve: Pay attention to the specificity of terms used. Instead of opting for general phrases, choose words that precisely convey the intended meaning. Thesaurus tools can be valuable in finding more precise alternatives.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally maintained throughout the essay. There are no major spelling errors that impede understanding. However, be cautious about homophones, as they can lead to unintentional mistakes. An example is the use of "cosmopolitan," which is spelled correctly, but its pronunciation might be confused with "cosmetopolitan."
    • How to improve: Continue to prioritize accurate spelling. Proofreading for homophones and commonly misspelled words can further enhance spelling precision. Utilize spelling and grammar check tools for an additional layer of assurance.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable effort in utilizing vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of diversity and precision. Attention to detail in word choice and thorough proofreading for subtle spelling nuances will contribute to an even more polished and lexically rich essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a commendable use of varied sentence structures. The writer employs complex sentences, compound sentences, and simple sentences effectively. For instance, the use of a complex sentence in the opening paragraph ("This change can be attributed to several factors") adds sophistication to the writing. Additionally, the writer utilizes parallelism in the sentence "Many are now opting for organic, vegan, or gluten-free diets, moving away from traditional food practices," showcasing a versatile sentence structure.
    • How to improve: While the variety is praiseworthy, consider incorporating more intricate sentence structures such as the use of subordinate clauses or inverted sentences. This can add depth and nuance to the writing. For instance, instead of using straightforward conjunctions, try introducing sentences with dependent clauses to create a more intricate syntax.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally high level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are a few instances where article usage could be refined, such as in "…the traditions and customs associated with food consumption." Here, the inclusion of the definite article before "food consumption" would enhance grammatical precision. Regarding punctuation, the use of commas and full stops is consistent throughout the essay, contributing to the overall clarity of the writing.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to article usage, ensuring that articles are appropriately used before singular and plural nouns. Additionally, consider exploring more advanced punctuation marks, such as semicolons or colons, to add variety to sentence structures. For instance, in places where a comma is used, experiment with the use of a semicolon to connect closely related independent clauses, fostering a more sophisticated writing style.

Overall, the essay showcases a strong command of grammatical structures and accuracy, with minimal errors. To elevate the score further, focus on refining article usage and experimenting with more advanced punctuation for enhanced complexity.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent times, there has been a discernible shift in the traditions and customs surrounding our dietary practices. This transformation can be ascribed to various factors.

Firstly, globalization has played a crucial role in modifying our eating habits. As people migrate and cultures intermingle, culinary practices evolve. We are now increasingly exposed to a variety of international cuisines, leading to a fusion of food cultures.

Secondly, the rise of technology has revolutionized our food procurement and consumption practices. Online delivery services, for instance, have made an extensive array of food accessible at our fingertips.

Lastly, a growing number now choose organic, vegan, or gluten-free dietary preferences, reflecting the rise in health consciousness. This shift in dietary preferences has resulted in a diversification of our dietary choices, rendering it more diverse and cosmopolitan.

The subjectivity of whether these changes are positive or negative depends on one’s perspective. On the positive side, these changes have made an extensive array of culinary options accessible, making it more convenient for individuals. It has also facilitated people with specific dietary requirements to find suitable food options.

However, on the downside, the transition to fast food consumption could result in health implications. Moreover, the loss of traditional culinary traditions could lead to the erosion of cultural identity.

In conclusion, while the changing food traditions reflect the dynamic nature of our evolving society, it is crucial to strike a balance between embracing new food habits and preserving our culinary heritage.

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