Online currencies have become more common in recent years. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Online currencies have become more common in recent years.
Why is this?
Is this a positive or negative development?

Cybercash is gradually becoming an indispensable part of humans’ life. Although there are many people who regard the usefulness of this development because of the enormous number of advantages of online cash, I believe that this is a negative trend. Reasons for the growth of this trend and my perspective will be explored in this essay.

There are various reasons that can popularize paperless money. To start with, using electronic money is an ideal replacement of physical money which is sometimes inconvenient and risky. When utilizing online cash, people do not have to worry about their money’s risks of being stolen, lost or damaged. Additionally, online cash allows transactions to be conducted fluently. Nowadays, people have a tendency to buy things through e-commerce platforms because of the variety in their models. For this trend, online cash becomes the most reliable payment since it makes sure that items are bought with reasonable purposes. As an encouragement of using this kind of payment, customers can benefit from these platforms by some cash-back bonuses.

On the other hand, a huge number of disadvantages of digital cash cannot be denied, which make me consider increasing utilization of online currencies as a negative trend. Firstly, paperless money is not available for people of all ages and areas. Regarding limitations in age, most of elderly people cannot adapt to the development of technology, including online cash and different tendencies to use money can cause difficulties in transactions. Moreover, online cash is an unsuitable choice if someone is in a remote area when he is travelling or he is a resident of this area. Secondly, using this type of currency has the potential for illegal activities. Online currencies can be used to facilitate illegal activities, such as money laundering and hacking.

In conclusion, there are many aspects that develop online cash and make it a useful tool in our life. However, while it offers a wide range of benefits, it poses risks and becomes a negative development, such as limitation in users and potential association with illegal activities.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Cybercash" -> "Digital currency"
Explanation: "Cybercash" may sound informal and outdated in academic writing. "Digital currency" is a more formal and widely accepted term.
"many people who regard the usefulness of this development because of the enormous number of advantages" -> "many people recognize the utility of this advancement due to its myriad advantages"
Explanation: The original phrase is wordy and lacks precision. "Regard the usefulness" can be replaced with "recognize the utility," and "enormous number of advantages" can be replaced with "myriad advantages" for conciseness and clarity.
"a negative trend" -> "a detrimental trend"
Explanation: "Negative" is somewhat vague. "Detrimental" conveys a stronger sense of harm or disadvantage in a formal manner.
"To start with" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "To start with" is less formal and can be replaced with "Firstly" for a more academic tone.
"sometimes inconvenient and risky" -> "potentially inconvenient and fraught with risk"
Explanation: "Sometimes inconvenient" is too vague. "Fraught with risk" emphasizes the seriousness of the issue, and "potentially inconvenient" covers a wider range of situations.
"transactions to be conducted fluently" -> "transactions to proceed smoothly"
Explanation: "Fluently" is more commonly used in the context of language. "Proceed smoothly" is a more fitting phrase for transactions.
"the most reliable payment since it makes sure" -> "the most reliable payment method as it ensures"
Explanation: "Makes sure" is too informal. "Ensures" is more precise and formal.
"encouragement of using this kind of payment" -> "incentive to utilize this payment method"
Explanation: "Encouragement of using" is awkward. "Incentive to utilize" is more concise and formal.
"customers can benefit from these platforms by some cash-back bonuses" -> "customers can benefit from cash-back bonuses offered by these platforms"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks clarity. Rearranging and specifying "offered by these platforms" clarifies the source of the bonuses.
"a huge number of disadvantages" -> "numerous disadvantages"
Explanation: "A huge number of" is verbose. "Numerous" is more concise and maintains formality.
"cannot be denied" -> "cannot be ignored"
Explanation: "Cannot be denied" is slightly informal. "Cannot be ignored" is a more formal alternative.
"online currencies" -> "digital currencies"
Explanation: "Online currencies" is acceptable but "digital currencies" is a more precise and widely used term in academic contexts.
"Firstly" -> "First and foremost"
Explanation: Adding "and foremost" emphasizes the importance of the point being made.
"someone is in a remote area when he is travelling or he is a resident of this area" -> "individuals find themselves in remote areas while traveling or residing there"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and lacks clarity. Restructuring the sentence provides a smoother flow and clearer meaning.
"Secondly" -> "Secondarily"
Explanation: "Secondly" can be replaced with "Secondarily" for variety in transition words.
"In conclusion" -> "To conclude"
Explanation: "In conclusion" is overly formal. "To conclude" is a more concise and commonly used phrase.
"a wide range of benefits" -> "a plethora of benefits"
Explanation: "Wide range" is somewhat generic. "Plethora" adds a more sophisticated touch to the description of benefits.
"poses risks and becomes a negative development" -> "poses risks and represents a negative trend"
Explanation: "Becomes" is redundant here. "Represents a negative trend" is more precise and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question by discussing both the reasons behind the increased popularity of online currencies and the writer’s opinion on whether this trend is positive or negative. However, the explanation could be more detailed, especially in analyzing the reasons for the trend and in presenting a nuanced view on its positive and negative aspects.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim for a more comprehensive analysis of the reasons behind the trend, considering various perspectives. Additionally, providing a more balanced discussion of the positive and negative aspects of online currencies would enhance the essay’s depth.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that the increasing use of online currencies is a negative trend. This stance is maintained throughout the essay, with the writer consistently expressing this viewpoint.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could provide more specific examples or evidence to support their argument. Additionally, anticipating and addressing potential counterarguments would demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the topic.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the advantages and disadvantages of online currencies, but they are not fully developed. For instance, while the advantages are briefly mentioned, they could be elaborated further with specific examples or statistics. Similarly, the disadvantages are discussed, but they lack detailed analysis or supporting evidence.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to extend and support their ideas more effectively. This could involve providing concrete examples, relevant statistics, or case studies to illustrate their points and strengthen their arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by addressing the issues related to the increased use of online currencies. However, there are some instances where the discussion seems slightly tangential, such as when mentioning e-commerce platforms.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should ensure that all points made are directly relevant to the topic. Avoiding unnecessary details or examples that do not contribute to the main argument would help maintain focus and relevance.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a clear position and addresses the main aspects of the question, there is room for improvement in terms of depth of analysis, development of ideas, and relevance of examples. By expanding on these areas, the writer can enhance the overall quality and effectiveness of their essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing reasons for and against the popularity of online currencies, and a conclusion summarizing the author’s perspective. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, aiding the reader’s understanding.
- How to improve: While the logical organization is generally effective, enhancing the transitions between paragraphs could further improve coherence. Consider using transitional phrases or sentences to smoothly connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate distinct ideas and arguments. Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and develops its respective point cohesively.
- How to improve: To further enhance paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence around its central idea. Additionally, consider varying sentence structure within paragraphs to maintain reader engagement.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices such as pronouns ("this development," "these platforms") and conjunctions ("although," "moreover," "on the other hand") to connect ideas and create coherence. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of cohesive devices used.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices including synonyms, transitional adverbs, and cohesive conjunctions. This will contribute to a more sophisticated and cohesive essay structure.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, there are opportunities for improvement in enhancing transitions between paragraphs, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices to further strengthen the clarity and coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, with words and phrases such as "indispensable," "enormous number of advantages," "popularize," "inconvenient," "fluent," "reliable," "encouragement," "cash-back bonuses," "adapt to," "unsuitable," and "facilitate." These words contribute to conveying the writer’s ideas effectively.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more diverse and sophisticated vocabulary. For instance, instead of using common phrases like "a huge number of disadvantages," try using alternatives like "a plethora of drawbacks" or "a myriad of downsides." Additionally, strive to integrate specialized vocabulary related to the topic of online currencies to demonstrate a deeper understanding and command of the subject matter.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, effectively conveying the writer’s intended meaning. For example, the term "paperless money" precisely refers to online currencies, and phrases like "unsuitable choice" and "potential for illegal activities" are appropriately used to express negative aspects of online currencies.
- How to improve: While overall precise, there are instances where vocabulary usage could be improved for clarity and impact. For instance, the phrase "reasonable purposes" could be more precise by specifying the purposes for which items are bought online. Additionally, strive to avoid vague or overused terms like "huge number," opting instead for more specific and impactful language to strengthen the essay’s effectiveness.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally satisfactory throughout the essay, with no glaring errors detracting from readability or comprehension. However, there are a few minor spelling errors, such as "popularize" instead of "popularise" (in British English) and "fluent" instead of "fluid."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-checking tools and proofreading techniques to catch and correct any misspellings before submission. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling conventions, especially if writing for a specific audience or in a particular dialect of English.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates competence in lexical resource, there is room for improvement in diversifying vocabulary, refining precision, and enhancing spelling accuracy to elevate the quality of expression and clarity of communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. Examples include: "Cybercash is gradually becoming an indispensable part of humans’ life" (simple sentence), "To start with, using electronic money is an ideal replacement of physical money which is sometimes inconvenient and risky" (complex sentence with a subordinate clause), and "Moreover, online cash is an unsuitable choice if someone is in a remote area when he is travelling or he is a resident of this area" (compound sentence). These varied structures contribute to the coherence and readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex compound sentences or employing rhetorical devices such as parallelism or inversion where appropriate. Additionally, ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are seamless to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and punctuation. Sentences are generally well-structured, and punctuation marks are used effectively to clarify meaning and aid comprehension. For instance, in the sentence "However, while it offers a wide range of benefits, it poses risks and becomes a negative development, such as limitation in users and potential association with illegal activities," the punctuation effectively separates clauses, enhancing readability.
- How to improve: While the essay’s grammatical accuracy is high, there are a few instances where minor errors or awkward phrasings occur. For example, in the sentence "When utilizing online cash, people do not have to worry about their money’s risks of being stolen, lost or damaged," consider revising to improve clarity and conciseness, such as "When using online cash, people need not worry about the risks of theft, loss, or damage to their money." Additionally, ensure consistency in subject-verb agreement and verb tense throughout the essay to maintain coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

Digital currency has gradually become an integral aspect of human life. While many recognize the utility of this advancement due to its myriad advantages, I contend that it represents a detrimental trend. This essay will delve into the reasons behind the surge in popularity of online currencies and provide my perspective on whether this trend is positive or negative.

There are various factors contributing to the rise of digital money. Firstly, it serves as a convenient and secure alternative to physical currency, which can sometimes be inconvenient and fraught with risk. By utilizing online cash, individuals alleviate concerns about the safety of their money, as it eliminates the risks of theft, loss, or damage associated with traditional currency. Additionally, online transactions tend to proceed smoothly, especially with the proliferation of e-commerce platforms offering a diverse array of products. Consequently, digital currency emerges as the most reliable payment method, ensuring that transactions are conducted with transparency and legitimacy. Moreover, platforms often provide incentives to utilize this payment method, such as cash-back bonuses for customers, further fueling its adoption.

However, despite these advantages, the surge in digital currency usage also brings forth numerous disadvantages that cannot be ignored. Firstly, it excludes certain demographics, particularly elderly individuals who may struggle to adapt to technological advancements, leading to difficulties in conducting transactions. Furthermore, individuals may encounter challenges when they find themselves in remote areas while traveling or residing there, where access to digital payment infrastructure may be limited. Secondly, there is the risk of digital currencies being exploited for illegal activities, such as money laundering and hacking, posing significant ethical and legal concerns.

In conclusion, while online currencies offer a plethora of benefits and have become an indispensable tool in our lives, their widespread adoption poses risks and represents a negative trend. Despite the convenience and security they provide, limitations in accessibility and the potential association with illegal activities warrant a cautious approach towards their usage.