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people are living in a throwaway society, using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What arr the causes of this? What problems does it lead to

people are living in a throwaway society, using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What arr the causes of this? What problems does it lead to

it is true that people are living in a throwaway society, using for short time and then dropping. There are several reasons explaining this phenomenon and it certainly can brings both benefits and drawbacks to individuals
There are several reason why people use things for short time. First, convenience is the reason for throwaway society. This is because people nowadays do not need to loss many time to buy something. Everything is easy to buy anywhere. Therefore, people tend to throw old things away and buy a new things instead. Second, throwaway society is caused by advertisements. This means advertisement appears almost everywhere in the internet or street. As a result, it is easy for people to see and buy everything they see without particular purposes.
This trend brings both positive and negative effects on people and society. First, throwaway society have an adverse bearing on environment. This is because with the big amount of waste releasing frequently can lead to pollution. In fact, a numerous garbage has been witnessed in every years lead to severe pollution. Second, it is still beneficial for people to keep trends. A recent research shown that changing regularly contributes to modernisation and industrialisation. As a result, the industrial production is encouraged by the overconsumption of people
In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons explaining this phenomenon and this issue brings both negative and positive effects


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "it is true that" -> "it is indeed the case that"
    Explanation: "It is indeed the case that" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a statement in academic writing, enhancing the tone and credibility of the assertion.

  2. "using for short time and then dropping" -> "utilized for a brief period and then discarded"
    Explanation: "Utilized for a brief period and then discarded" is more precise and formal, replacing the colloquial "using for short time" with a more academic vocabulary.

  3. "it certainly can brings" -> "it certainly can bring"
    Explanation: Correcting the verb agreement error from "brings" to "bring" aligns with the singular subject "it," improving grammatical accuracy.

  4. "There are several reason" -> "There are several reasons"
    Explanation: Adding the plural form "reasons" corrects the grammatical error, ensuring the noun agrees with the plural verb "are."

  5. "do not need to loss" -> "do not need to lose"
    Explanation: Correcting "loss" to "lose" fixes a spelling error, enhancing the professionalism of the text.

  6. "buy a new things" -> "purchase new items"
    Explanation: "Purchase new items" is more formal and precise than "buy a new things," which is grammatically incorrect and informal.

  7. "throwaway society" -> "throwaway culture"
    Explanation: "Culture" is a more appropriate term than "society" in this context, as it refers to the societal norms and values surrounding consumer behavior.

  8. "This means advertisement" -> "This is due to advertising"
    Explanation: "This is due to advertising" is a clearer and more formal expression than "This means advertisement," which is grammatically awkward and vague.

  9. "almost everywhere in the internet or street" -> "almost everywhere, including online and on the streets"
    Explanation: "Including online and on the streets" clarifies the scope of advertising, making the statement more specific and formal.

  10. "it is easy for people to see and buy everything they see without particular purposes" -> "it is easy for individuals to purchase items without a specific purpose"
    Explanation: "Purchase items without a specific purpose" is more precise and formal than "buy everything they see without particular purposes," which is vague and informal.

  11. "throwaway society have an adverse bearing on environment" -> "throwaway culture has a detrimental impact on the environment"
    Explanation: "Has a detrimental impact on the environment" is more precise and formal than "have an adverse bearing on environment," which is grammatically awkward and vague.

  12. "with the big amount of waste releasing frequently" -> "with the frequent release of large amounts of waste"
    Explanation: "With the frequent release of large amounts of waste" is more grammatically correct and formal, improving clarity and precision.

  13. "a numerous garbage has been witnessed" -> "numerous instances of waste have been observed"
    Explanation: "Numerous instances of waste have been observed" corrects the awkward and incorrect phrase "a numerous garbage has been witnessed," enhancing the formality and clarity.

  14. "changing regularly contributes to modernisation and industrialisation" -> "regular changes contribute to modernization and industrialization"
    Explanation: "Regular changes contribute to modernization and industrialization" corrects the verb form and uses the standard American English spellings for these terms, aligning with academic norms.

  15. "the industrial production is encouraged by the overconsumption of people" -> "industrial production is stimulated by excessive consumerism"
    Explanation: "Industrial production is stimulated by excessive consumerism" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea, replacing the vague and informal "the overconsumption of people."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both the causes and the consequences of living in a throwaway society. It mentions convenience and advertising as reasons for this behavior and discusses both negative (environmental pollution) and positive (industrial stimulation) effects.
    • How to improve: The essay briefly touches on the causes and effects but lacks depth and clarity. To improve, provide specific examples or data to substantiate each point. Additionally, ensure each aspect of the question is thoroughly explored to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the prompt.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay’s position is somewhat clear but lacks consistency. While it acknowledges both benefits and drawbacks of a throwaway society, the stance could be more assertive and clearly articulated.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, maintain a consistent viewpoint throughout the essay. Clearly state whether the throwaway culture is predominantly positive or negative, supported by strong arguments and evidence.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks development. For instance, while it mentions convenience and advertising as causes, it does not elaborate on how these factors contribute to the throwaway culture.
    • How to improve: Extend ideas by providing detailed explanations, examples, or statistics. Ensure each idea is well-supported with relevant evidence to strengthen the essay’s arguments and enhance coherence.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the causes and consequences of a throwaway society. However, it occasionally veers off track, such as briefly mentioning modernization and industrialization without clear relevance to the topic.
    • How to improve: Maintain strict relevance to the prompt throughout the essay. Avoid tangential discussions and focus on directly addressing each part of the question with precise examples and arguments.

In summary, while the essay attempts to address the prompt, it falls short in depth of analysis and coherence. To improve, focus on providing more detailed explanations supported by relevant examples and maintaining a clear, consistent stance throughout. Strengthening the development of ideas and ensuring strict adherence to the topic will also enhance the overall coherence and effectiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to organize information logically but struggles with coherence. The introduction briefly outlines reasons for the throwaway culture without clearly delineating them. The body paragraphs touch on causes and effects somewhat disjointedly, lacking smooth transitions between ideas. The conclusion briefly summarizes without reinforcing the main points effectively.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, start with a clear thesis statement that previews the main reasons and effects. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph to introduce the main idea and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single point, logically progressing from one to the next. Conclude by summarizing the main arguments without introducing new information.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs, but their structure is rudimentary. Each paragraph addresses a separate point but lacks development and coherence within. For instance, the second paragraph combines reasons related to convenience and advertisements in a single paragraph without clear separation.
    • How to improve: Focus on developing each paragraph around a central idea related to either causes or effects of the throwaway culture. Ensure that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis statement. Use supporting details and examples to elaborate on each point and maintain coherence within paragraphs.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices (e.g., ‘first’, ‘second’, ‘in conclusion’) but lacks variety and consistency. There is a reliance on basic transitional phrases that do not effectively connect ideas or paragraphs.
    • How to improve: Introduce a wider range of cohesive devices such as pronouns (‘this’, ‘these’), conjunctions (‘furthermore’, ‘however’), and adverbs (‘moreover’, ‘consequently’) to improve coherence and cohesion. Use these devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs more effectively, guiding the reader through the essay’s structure.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an attempt to address the prompt with a clear position and some organization, improvements in logical flow, paragraph structure, and cohesive devices are needed to achieve a higher band score. Focus on clearer organization of ideas, more developed paragraphs, and a variety of cohesive devices to enhance coherence and cohesion in future essays.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied words such as "phenomenon," "adverse," "industrialisation," and "modernisation." However, some phrases lack variety and sophistication, such as repetitive use of "throwaway society" without synonyms or alternative expressions.
    • How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, consider using synonyms and more precise terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "throwaway society," explore alternatives like "disposable culture" or "consumerist habits." Introduce more nuanced vocabulary to convey ideas more effectively, particularly when discussing complex issues like environmental impact and societal trends.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: Vocabulary precision is somewhat inconsistent. While key terms like "convenience" and "adverse" are used appropriately, there are instances where word choice lacks precision. For example, "loss many time" should be "spend much time," and "severe pollution" could benefit from a more specific descriptor.
    • How to improve: Focus on using words in contexts where their meaning is clear and specific. Avoid generic terms that may weaken the impact of your arguments. For instance, replace general statements like "severe pollution" with specific descriptions such as "toxic waste contamination" or "airborne particulate emissions." This approach will strengthen the clarity and effectiveness of your arguments.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally satisfactory, but there are noticeable errors like "loss" instead of "spend" and missing articles like "a" or "an." For instance, "a recent research shown" should be "recent research has shown."
    • How to improve: Review your writing carefully to catch errors in articles, verb forms, and common expressions. Practicing proofreading techniques, such as reading aloud or using spell-check tools, can significantly improve spelling accuracy. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common grammatical structures to ensure consistent and correct usage throughout your essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates competency in lexical resource, further development in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy would enhance clarity and sophistication, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of sentence structures, predominantly simple and compound sentences. There are instances of complex structures attempted, though not consistently maintained throughout. For example, "This trend brings both positive and negative effects on people and society" attempts to introduce a more complex sentence structure but lacks variety in clause structure and complexity overall.
    • How to improve: To enhance variety, consider incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses and varying sentence lengths. Introduce conditional sentences, passive voice constructions, or rhetorical questions to add depth and sophistication to the writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation, affecting clarity and coherence. For instance, "There are several reason why people use things for short time" should be corrected to "reasons why people use things for a short time." There are inconsistencies in subject-verb agreement ("Everything is easy to buy anywhere") and improper use of articles ("buy a new things instead").
    • How to improve: Focus on improving grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules such as verb conjugation, article usage, and sentence structure. Practice proofreading to identify and correct errors in punctuation, ensuring commas, periods, and capitalization are used correctly. Additionally, strive for consistency in verb tense throughout the essay to maintain coherence.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt adequately and provides a balanced view of the issue, improvements in grammatical accuracy and sentence structure variety would strengthen the clarity and sophistication of the writing, potentially raising the band score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is indeed the case that people are living in a throwaway society, using items for a brief period and then discarding them. There are several reasons explaining this phenomenon and it certainly can bring both benefits and drawbacks to individuals.

There are several reasons why people use things for a short time. Firstly, convenience plays a significant role in the throwaway culture. Nowadays, people do not need to spend much time searching for items to buy; everything is easily accessible everywhere. Consequently, people tend to dispose of old items and purchase new ones instead. Secondly, the prevalence of advertisements contributes to this trend. Advertisements are omnipresent, whether online or on the streets, making it effortless for people to make impulse purchases without specific needs.

This trend brings both positive and negative effects on people and society. On the negative side, the throwaway society has a detrimental impact on the environment. The constant release of a large amount of waste leads to pollution. Each year, a substantial amount of garbage is produced, contributing significantly to environmental degradation. On the positive side, there is an argument that keeping up with trends benefits industrialization and modernization. Research has indicated that regular changes in consumer preferences stimulate industrial production.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons explaining this phenomenon and this issue brings both negative and positive effects. It is crucial for individuals and policymakers to consider these implications in order to mitigate the drawbacks while fostering the benefits of our consumer habits.

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