People believe they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that individuals are not required to provide the authorities with their own small earnings, particularly in tax. Although this brings about many short-term benefits for citizens, tax still plays a crucial role in the sustainable and comprehensive development. This essay will delve in both views before deciding on the best approach.

On the one hand, the government should stop collecting taxes from citizens due to numerous persuasive reasons. One significant factor is that the exemption of taxes on daily consumer goods and nourishments would lead not to citizens incurring the extra taxation in the overall expenditure if they purchased a significant quantity. Thus, the abolition of tax can encourage them to be willing to go shopping, enhancing the needs, boosting production, and fostering a trading surge. Furthermore, it is inevitable that when not paying tax, the countries can promote tourism by attracting tourists' attention, especially foreigners. The more reasonable the price is, the more travelers flock to.

While only in a short period can this be beneficial, collecting taxes can bring about sustainable development. Taking advantage of taxes to neither construct infrastructures including schools, and roads nor support individuals who have poor backgrounds, the government also can tackle urgent current problems. This means that some disadvantaged children can grasp educational opportunities, and overcome the financial hardship thanks to the official assistance. Moreover, the collection of taxes plays a part of the main role in meeting other essential demands consisting of automatic robots and medical devices. Thought that they should not collect taxes, only by do the governments borrow on interest of other countries. Even if some of whom find it difficult to terminate debt, the last potential option is the territorial transfer as a result. Therefore, paying tax has been playing a crucial role in addressing the important needs and the social issues.

In conclusion, whereas the idea of individuals retaining entire earnings is alluring, I firmly believe that taxation is a necessary civic duty that helps to foster a sustainable, well-functioning country. However, the government should adjust levels of taxes more appropriately for the current financial backgrounds.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is believed that" -> "It is widely acknowledged that"
Explanation: "It is widely acknowledged that" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a general opinion or belief in academic writing, enhancing the tone and credibility of the statement.
"not required to provide the authorities with their own small earnings" -> "not obligated to remit their personal income to the authorities"
Explanation: "Remit" is a more precise term than "provide" in the context of taxes, and "personal income" is a clearer and more formal term than "own small earnings," which is vague and informal.
"particular in tax" -> "specifically in taxation"
Explanation: "Specifically in taxation" is more precise and formal, aligning better with academic style by using the noun form "taxation" instead of the less formal "tax."
"brings about many short-term benefits" -> "offers numerous short-term benefits"
Explanation: "Offers" is a more formal verb than "brings about," and "numerous" is more precise than "many" in academic writing.
"delve in both views" -> "examine both perspectives"
Explanation: "Examine" is a more formal and academically appropriate verb than "delve in," which is colloquial and less precise.
"stop collecting taxes from citizens" -> "cease taxing citizens"
Explanation: "Cease taxing citizens" is a more direct and formal way to express the idea of stopping the collection of taxes.
"not to citizens incurring the extra taxation" -> "not to additional taxation for citizens"
Explanation: "Not to additional taxation for citizens" is clearer and more grammatically correct than the original phrase, which is awkwardly constructed.
"the abolition of tax can encourage them to be willing" -> "the abolition of taxes may encourage them to be more willing"
Explanation: "May" is more appropriate than "can" in academic writing to indicate possibility, and "more willing" is a more precise expression than "willing."
"fostering a trading surge" -> "stimulating economic growth"
Explanation: "Stimulating economic growth" is a more precise and formal term than "fostering a trading surge," which is vague and informal.
"not paying tax, the countries can promote tourism" -> "not paying taxes, countries can promote tourism"
Explanation: "Countries" should be plural to match the context, and "taxes" is the correct plural form.
"the more reasonable the price is, the more travelers flock to" -> "the lower the prices, the more tourists are attracted"
Explanation: "The lower the prices, the more tourists are attracted" is a clearer and more formal way to express the relationship between prices and tourism.
"collecting taxes to neither construct infrastructures including schools, and roads nor support individuals" -> "collecting taxes neither to construct infrastructure such as schools and roads nor to support individuals"
Explanation: "Neither to construct infrastructure such as schools and roads nor to support individuals" corrects the awkward construction and uses "infrastructure" correctly.
"the collection of taxes plays a part of the main role" -> "the collection of taxes plays a significant role"
Explanation: "Plays a significant role" is grammatically correct and more formal than "plays a part of the main role," which is awkward and unclear.
"Thought that they should not collect taxes, only by do the governments borrow on interest of other countries" -> "If they were not to collect taxes, governments would have to borrow from other countries"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the conditional scenario and corrects the awkward and incorrect original phrasing.
"the last potential option is the territorial transfer as a result" -> "the final option is territorial transfer as a consequence"
Explanation: "The final option is territorial transfer as a consequence" is more formal and clearer than the original, which is awkwardly phrased and unclear.
"paying tax has been playing a crucial role" -> "paying taxes has been crucial"
Explanation: "Paying taxes has been crucial" simplifies and clarifies the sentence, removing the awkward construction and making it more direct and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding whether individuals should keep all their earnings without paying taxes. The introduction clearly states the topic and indicates that both views will be discussed. The first body paragraph presents arguments for not collecting taxes, highlighting short-term benefits such as increased consumer spending and tourism. The second body paragraph counters this by discussing the long-term necessity of taxes for infrastructure and social support. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees with the statement, as the prompt specifically asks for this.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly state their position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. This could involve explicitly stating whether they fully agree, partially agree, or disagree with the idea of keeping all earnings.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position, particularly in the conclusion, where the author asserts that taxation is a necessary civic duty. However, the body paragraphs could be more cohesive in reinforcing this position. The first paragraph leans heavily on the benefits of abolishing taxes, which may confuse readers about the author’s stance.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that each paragraph consistently supports their overall argument. This can be achieved by linking back to the main thesis in each body paragraph and clarifying how the points made align with their position on the issue.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a range of ideas, particularly in discussing the benefits of tax exemption and the importance of taxes for societal development. However, some arguments lack depth and could be better supported with examples or data. For instance, the claim that abolishing taxes would boost tourism could be strengthened by providing specific examples of countries where this has occurred.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer should include specific examples, statistics, or studies that illustrate the points made. Additionally, expanding on the implications of each argument would provide a more thorough exploration of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt’s focus on taxation and individual earnings. However, some sentences are convoluted and could lead to confusion about the main argument. For instance, phrases like "only by do the governments borrow on interest of other countries" are unclear and detract from the overall coherence of the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and precision in their language. Simplifying complex sentences and ensuring that each point directly relates to the central argument will help maintain focus and enhance the overall readability of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, there are areas for improvement in clarity, depth of argumentation, and explicitness of the author’s position. By addressing these aspects, the writer could further enhance the effectiveness of their response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two main body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion. The arguments are generally well-organized, with the first paragraph outlining the reasons against taxation and the second paragraph advocating for its necessity. However, the logical flow could be improved; for instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of tax exemption to the advantages of tax collection could be smoother. The phrase "While only in a short period can this be beneficial" is somewhat abrupt and could confuse readers about the relationship between the two viewpoints.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer transition phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the benefits of tax exemption, a phrase like "However, this short-term benefit must be weighed against the long-term advantages of taxation" would help clarify the relationship between the two arguments.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first body paragraph discusses the reasons for not collecting taxes, while the second addresses the importance of taxation. However, the paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that summarize the main point of each paragraph more effectively. For example, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence that directly states the main argument against taxation.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences of each paragraph to encapsulate the main idea clearly. For instance, the first paragraph could begin with, "There are compelling arguments for why individuals should be exempt from paying taxes." This would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "Moreover," which help to connect ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "Thought that they should not collect taxes, only by do the governments borrow on interest of other countries" lacks clarity and cohesion, making it difficult for readers to follow the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "In contrast," "Furthermore," and "Consequently." Additionally, ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and clearly articulated to avoid confusion. For instance, rephrasing the problematic sentence to "Those who oppose taxation often overlook that governments may need to borrow from other countries to fund essential services" would enhance clarity and cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in logical flow, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices could elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "sustainable development," "exemption," and "infrastructures." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "collecting taxes" and "paying tax," which could be varied to enhance the richness of the language. Additionally, some phrases, such as "the authorities," could be replaced with synonyms like "government" or "state" to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "tax," they could use "levy," "duty," or "taxation." Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to economics and social issues would enhance the essay’s sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "the abolition of tax can encourage them to be willing to go shopping" could be more clearly expressed as "the abolition of taxes could encourage consumer spending." Furthermore, the phrase "grasp educational opportunities" is awkward; a more precise term would be "seize educational opportunities."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing phrases for clarity and ensuring that the chosen words fit the context. Regularly reading academic texts or essays can also help in understanding the nuances of word choice.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "nourishments" (which is not commonly used in this context; "food" or "necessities" would be more appropriate), and "infrastructures" (the correct term is "infrastructure," which is uncountable). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, ideally after a short break to approach it with fresh eyes. Utilizing spell-check tools and maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Additionally, practicing spelling through exercises or quizzes can help reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, phrases like "Although this brings about many short-term benefits for citizens" and "While only in a short period can this be beneficial" illustrate attempts at complexity. However, the overall range is limited, and many sentences are either overly complex or awkwardly constructed, leading to confusion. For instance, "Taking advantage of taxes to neither construct infrastructures including schools, and roads nor support individuals who have poor backgrounds" is convoluted and affects clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice using a mix of sentence types more effectively. This can be achieved by varying the length and complexity of sentences, ensuring that complex sentences are clearly structured. Additionally, incorporating more transitional phrases and clauses can help in creating smoother connections between ideas. For example, instead of "the government should stop collecting taxes from citizens due to numerous persuasive reasons," the writer could say, "There are several compelling reasons why the government should consider halting tax collection from citizens."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, "the exemption of taxes on daily consumer goods and nourishments would lead not to citizens incurring the extra taxation in the overall expenditure if they purchased a significant quantity" is grammatically awkward and confusing. Additionally, the phrase "the collection of taxes plays a part of the main role in meeting other essential demands consisting of automatic robots and medical devices" is unclear and misuses the phrase "plays a part of." Punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma in "including schools, and roads," further complicate the readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on sentence clarity and structure. This includes ensuring subject-verb agreement and proper use of prepositions. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help reinforce these concepts. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors before submission can significantly enhance clarity. The writer might benefit from reading their work aloud to identify awkward phrases and grammatical mistakes, as this can often highlight issues that may not be immediately apparent when reading silently.

Overall, while the essay presents a relevant argument and attempts to engage with the prompt, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence structure variety and grammatical precision will enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely acknowledged that individuals are not obligated to remit their personal income to the authorities, specifically in taxation. Although this brings about many short-term benefits for citizens, tax still plays a crucial role in sustainable and comprehensive development. This essay will delve into both views before deciding on the best approach.

On the one hand, the government should stop collecting taxes from citizens due to numerous persuasive reasons. One significant factor is that the exemption of taxes on daily consumer goods and nourishment would prevent citizens from incurring extra taxation in their overall expenditure if they purchased a significant quantity. Thus, the abolition of tax can encourage them to be willing to go shopping, enhancing demand, boosting production, and fostering a trading surge. Furthermore, it is inevitable that when not paying tax, countries can promote tourism by attracting tourists’ attention, especially foreigners. The more reasonable the prices are, the more travelers will flock to the country.

While only in the short term can this be beneficial, collecting taxes can bring about sustainable development. Taking advantage of taxes to construct infrastructures, including schools and roads, and to support individuals who come from poor backgrounds, the government can also tackle urgent current problems. This means that some disadvantaged children can grasp educational opportunities and overcome financial hardship thanks to official assistance. Moreover, the collection of taxes plays a main role in meeting other essential demands, including automatic robots and medical devices. Although some may argue that they should not collect taxes, only by doing so can governments avoid borrowing at interest from other countries. Even if some find it difficult to terminate debt, the last potential option is territorial transfer as a result. Therefore, paying tax has been playing a crucial role in addressing important needs and social issues.

In conclusion, whereas the idea of individuals retaining their entire earnings is alluring, I firmly believe that taxation is a necessary civic duty that helps to foster a sustainable, well-functioning country. However, the government should adjust tax levels more appropriately for the current financial context.