people in rual and mountains area often lack of afforable housing. What are the cause and effects of this problem?

IThe status local inhabitants in rural and highland regions commonly face to difficult in reaching out housing suitable with their feasible budget. This essay will show some primary cause and result and then provide some possible solution to problem.

There are a number of reason for lack of ablility purchase housing. The first reason low income and shortage employment opportunities. In rural often people will general and manual labor, and also frequently working in the field more than working in the office. Besides, limited income made to become hardly than. For instant, in the far urbarn areas and mountains normally only have few companies, local peoples large amount of are farmer and income each month suitable with basic amenities. Another reason is high cost construction, The building in remote area cause more challenges especially, shortfall employee and transport construction materials such as bricks, cement and steel,… might be pricey and Complex due to make to lift price house.

There are several problems that could be caused/taken to (mitigate of) the issue mentioned above. Firstly, decline in population. The youths in religion will have trend moving and finding the better diversity chances about jobs and their home and just remaining the older population. Secondly, imbalance of the economy because loss of affordable housing can be prevented growth economic through inhibit people and business potential advance at local place. Therefore, still continuous with the cycle of job constraints and low wage.

In conclusion, There are various factors leading to lack of affordable housing and have inflicts significant negative impact on the nation.

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Errors and Improvements:

"status local inhabitants" -> "living conditions of local residents"
Explanation: "status local inhabitants" is awkward and lacks clarity. Replacing it with "living conditions of local residents" improves readability and academic formality.
"commonly face to difficult" -> "often encounter difficulties"
Explanation: "commonly face to difficult" is grammatically incorrect. "often encounter difficulties" maintains clarity and improves the structure of the sentence.
"housing suitable with their feasible budget" -> "affordable housing options within their budget constraints"
Explanation: "housing suitable with their feasible budget" is awkward and unclear. "affordable housing options within their budget constraints" is more precise and maintains academic tone.
"primary cause and result" -> "main causes and consequences"
Explanation: "primary cause and result" is imprecise. "main causes and consequences" provides a clearer description of the essay’s focus.
"reason for lack of ablility purchase housing" -> "reasons for the inability to purchase housing"
Explanation: "reason for lack of ablility purchase housing" contains grammatical errors and is unclear. "reasons for the inability to purchase housing" corrects the grammar and improves clarity.
"The first reason low income" -> "The primary reason is low income"
Explanation: "The first reason low income" lacks clarity and proper syntax. "The primary reason is low income" clarifies the structure of the sentence.
"often people will general" -> "people often engage in general"
Explanation: "often people will general" is grammatically incorrect. "people often engage in general" maintains the intended meaning while correcting the grammar.
"Besides, limited income made to become hardly than." -> "Moreover, limited income makes it difficult."
Explanation: "Besides, limited income made to become hardly than." is unclear and grammatically incorrect. "Moreover, limited income makes it difficult." improves clarity and corrects the grammar.
"For instant" -> "For instance"
Explanation: "For instant" is a misspelling. "For instance" is the correct phrase to introduce an example.
"far urbarn areas" -> "remote urban areas"
Explanation: "far urbarn areas" contains a spelling error. "remote urban areas" maintains the intended meaning and improves clarity.
"limited income made to become hardly than." -> "limited income makes it harder."
Explanation: "limited income made to become hardly than." is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "limited income makes it harder." provides a clearer expression of the idea.
"cause more challenges" -> "pose greater challenges"
Explanation: "cause more challenges" is awkward. "pose greater challenges" is a clearer and more concise alternative.
"might be pricey and Complex" -> "may be costly and complicated"
Explanation: "might be pricey and Complex" lacks formality and precision. "may be costly and complicated" maintains academic tone and clarity.
"due to make to lift price house" -> "leading to increased housing prices"
Explanation: "due to make to lift price house" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "leading to increased housing prices" provides a clearer expression of the idea.
"problems that could be caused/taken to" -> "measures that could be taken to address"
Explanation: "problems that could be caused/taken to" is confusing and ungrammatical. "measures that could be taken to address" clarifies the intended meaning.
"mitigate of" -> "mitigate"
Explanation: "mitigate of" is redundant. "mitigate" is sufficient to convey the intended meaning.
"decline in population" -> "population decline"
Explanation: "decline in population" is grammatically correct but rearranging it to "population decline" enhances clarity and conciseness.
"The youths in religion" -> "Young people in the region"
Explanation: "The youths in religion" is unclear. "Young people in the region" provides a clearer description.
"better diversity chances about jobs" -> "more diverse job opportunities"
Explanation: "better diversity chances about jobs" is awkward and unclear. "more diverse job opportunities" is more concise and maintains clarity.
"inflicts significant negative impact" -> "exerts a significant negative impact"
Explanation: "inflicts significant negative impact" is less formal. "exerts a significant negative impact" maintains academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both the causes and effects of the lack of affordable housing in rural and mountainous areas. It identifies low income, limited job opportunities, high construction costs, population decline, and economic imbalance as contributing factors.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure a more structured approach to addressing each part of the question. Clearly delineate the causes and effects in separate paragraphs to improve coherence and clarity.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance on the issue throughout, acknowledging the problem and its consequences. It consistently highlights the challenges faced by inhabitants in rural and mountainous regions regarding affordable housing.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, explicitly state the author’s position or viewpoint on the issue early in the essay. This can help guide the reader and solidify the argument being presented.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the causes and effects of the lack of affordable housing, but lacks depth and development. It briefly touches on each point without providing substantial elaboration or support.
- How to improve: To enhance idea presentation, extend the discussion by providing more detailed examples, statistics, or case studies to bolster each argument. Additionally, consider exploring potential solutions in greater depth to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally stays on topic by discussing the lack of affordable housing in rural and mountainous areas, there are instances of vague language and tangential points that detract from the main focus.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the prompt and avoid introducing extraneous information. Stick to the causes and effects of the housing problem without veering off into unrelated topics.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the causes and effects of the lack of affordable housing in rural and mountainous areas. To improve, the author should work on organizing the essay more clearly, providing deeper analysis and supporting evidence, and maintaining focus on the main topic throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing the causes and effects of the lack of affordable housing in rural and mountainous areas. However, the organization of ideas lacks clarity and coherence. The introduction briefly mentions the intention to present causes, effects, and solutions, but these elements are not clearly delineated in subsequent paragraphs. The essay jumps between discussing causes and effects without a clear transition, making it challenging for the reader to follow the logical progression of ideas. Additionally, the conclusion feels abrupt and does not effectively summarize the main points presented in the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the essay should adopt a clear and structured approach. Start with a concise introduction that outlines the main causes and effects to be discussed in the body paragraphs. Each body paragraph should focus on one primary cause or effect, supported by relevant examples or evidence. Transitions between paragraphs should be smooth to ensure a coherent flow of ideas. Finally, the conclusion should summarize the main points and reiterate the significance of addressing the issue of affordable housing in rural and mountainous areas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs, but their structure and effectiveness vary. While there is an attempt to separate different ideas into paragraphs, the lack of topic sentences and clear transitions between paragraphs weakens the overall coherence. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas that could be better presented as separate paragraphs for improved clarity.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea or aspect of the topic. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point to be discussed. Provide supporting details and examples within the paragraph to strengthen the argument. Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain coherence and guide the reader through the essay’s progression of ideas.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve coherence, but the execution is inconsistent. While some cohesive devices such as conjunctions (e.g., "besides," "therefore") and transitional phrases (e.g., "firstly," "secondly") are used, their effectiveness is limited due to errors in usage and lack of variety. Additionally, the essay lacks cohesive devices such as pronouns and reference words to link ideas within sentences and paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, strive for a diverse range of cohesive devices including conjunctions, transitional phrases, pronouns, and reference words. Ensure that cohesive devices are used correctly and appropriately to connect ideas logically. Pay attention to maintaining parallel structure and coherence within sentences and paragraphs. Consider using cohesive devices to explicitly signal relationships between ideas, such as cause and effect, comparison, or contrast, to improve overall coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary, although some phrases lack precision or fluency, such as "status local inhabitants," "feasible budget," "difficult in reaching out housing," and "inflicts significant negative impact." However, there are also instances of effective vocabulary usage, such as "shortage employment opportunities," "decline in population," and "imbalance of the economy."
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, aim for more precise and contextually appropriate vocabulary choices. For instance, instead of "status local inhabitants," consider "residents in rural areas." Additionally, expand your vocabulary by incorporating synonyms and idiomatic expressions where appropriate. Reading extensively and noting down new vocabulary can also help enrich your word bank.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays some imprecise vocabulary usage, which affects clarity and coherence. For example, "status local inhabitants" could be more precisely stated as "residents in rural and mountainous areas." Similarly, phrases like "difficult in reaching out housing" could be clearer if rephrased as "difficulty in accessing affordable housing." However, there are instances of more precise vocabulary, such as "shortage employment opportunities" and "imbalance of the economy."
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on selecting words that accurately convey your intended meaning. Avoid using overly complex or convoluted language that may obscure your message. Review your writing to identify areas where clarity can be enhanced, and consider whether alternative word choices could better convey your ideas.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "rual," "highland," "afforable," "ablility," "urbarn," "instat," "populaton," and "imbalance." These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and may impede reader comprehension.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider employing spell-check tools or proofreading your work carefully before submission. Additionally, practice spelling commonly misspelled words and pay attention to patterns of errors to improve your spelling skills over time. Reading aloud or having someone else review your writing can also help identify and correct spelling mistakes.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of precision and spelling accuracy. By focusing on selecting more precise vocabulary choices and improving spelling skills through practice and review, the clarity and coherence of the writing can be significantly enhanced.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a mixture of simple and complex sentence structures. There is an attempt to vary sentence structure, but the execution is inconsistent. For instance, simple sentences dominate the essay, which can limit the clarity and sophistication of expression. Complex structures such as dependent clauses are used occasionally but could be integrated more consistently to enhance coherence and fluency.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should consciously incorporate a greater variety of sentence structures. This could include using compound and complex sentences more frequently to express ideas with greater clarity and sophistication. Introducing dependent clauses and varying sentence lengths can also contribute to a smoother flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("The status local inhabitants"; "There are several problems that could be caused/taken to (mitigate of) the issue mentioned above"), verb tense consistency ("This essay will show"; "The youths in religion will have trend moving"), and article usage ("a number of reason"; "decline in population"). Additionally, punctuation marks are often misused or omitted, leading to fragmented or run-on sentences.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should focus on revising sentences for clarity and correctness. This involves paying attention to subject-verb agreement, maintaining consistency in verb tenses, and ensuring proper article usage. Additionally, thorough proofreading to identify and correct punctuation errors such as missing commas or misuse of punctuation marks like apostrophes is essential. Utilizing grammar resources and seeking feedback on writing can also aid in improving these aspects of language proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

In rural and mountainous areas, the living conditions of local residents often encounter difficulties due to the lack of affordable housing options within their budget constraints. This essay will explore the main causes and consequences of this issue, as well as propose some measures that could be taken to address it.

There are several reasons for the inability to purchase housing in these areas. The primary reason is low income and limited employment opportunities. In rural areas, people often engage in general and manual labor, with many working in fields rather than offices. Moreover, limited income makes it difficult. For instance, in remote urban areas and mountains, there are typically few companies, and a large portion of the local population are farmers whose monthly income barely covers basic amenities. Another contributing factor is the high cost of construction. Building in remote areas poses greater challenges, as there may be limited employees and transporting construction materials such as bricks, cement, and steel may be costly and complicated, leading to increased housing prices.

There are measures that could be taken to mitigate the issue mentioned above. Firstly, addressing the population decline is crucial. Young people in the region often seek more diverse job opportunities elsewhere, leading to a trend of migration and leaving behind an aging population. Secondly, addressing the imbalance in the economy is essential. Loss of affordable housing can hinder economic growth by constraining both individuals and businesses from realizing their full potential in the local area. This perpetuates a cycle of job constraints and low wages.

In conclusion, there are various factors contributing to the lack of affordable housing in rural and mountainous areas, and this issue exerts a significant negative impact on the nation.