plastic package are being used widely by food and drink company. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantage?
plastic package are being used widely by food and drink company. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantage?
The large number of nations where plastic containers have become more prevalent than ever and are used by some food and beverage enterprises. This trend is benificial in several aspects while I think its drawbacks are considerable.
It is obvious that the plastic containers bring a myriad of merits.On the one hand, people's quality of life and income have improved significantly in recent years, so people have increasingly high demands for health. This phenomenon helps preserve food better to avoid contact with pathogens such as bacteria, germs or dirt. Thus minimizing people's chances of getting sick. Besides, it is not only hygienic but also convenient. Due to good preservation, goods are easy to hold, carry or transport whether the distance is near or far for both street vendors and consumers. Most plastic containers can be discarded after a single-use, eliminating the need to wash them. In addition, production materials as well as usage costs are a lower price than their alternative.
Although the aforementioned advatages are undeniable. This development may exert some adverse effects on human health and the environment. One of most triking downside is that some plastics contain carcinogens. Plastics are known to melt and release toxic compounds when heated. This means that consumers are at a higher risk of developing cancer. Moreover, Plastic is a difficult substance to decompose, we need hundreds of years to decompose it. Because of its convenience, we are indirectly destroying our living environment, living creatures, insects, animals and so on.
To sum up, convenience and low prices are reasons why people use plastics to store food and drinks. However, I reckon that the disadvantages of this trend to the environment and people far overweigh the advantages of plastics and need to be concerned more.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The large number of nations where plastic containers have become more prevalent than ever" -> "The widespread use of plastic containers across numerous countries"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and vague. The suggested revision clarifies the scope and enhances the formal tone by using "widespread use" and "numerous countries," which are more precise and academically appropriate. -
"are used by some food and beverage enterprises" -> "are employed by various food and beverage companies"
Explanation: "Employed by" is more formal than "used by," and "companies" is a more specific term than "enterprises," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in formal writing. -
"This trend is benificial" -> "This trend is beneficial"
Explanation: Corrects a spelling error, ensuring the text maintains professionalism and accuracy. -
"its drawbacks are considerable" -> "its drawbacks are significant"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "considerable," which can be somewhat vague and informal in this context. -
"people’s quality of life and income have improved significantly" -> "people’s quality of life and income have significantly improved"
Explanation: Adjusting the word order improves the sentence flow and clarity, aligning better with formal writing standards. -
"people have increasingly high demands for health" -> "there is an increasing demand for healthy products"
Explanation: "There is an increasing demand for healthy products" is more precise and formal, avoiding the awkward and unclear phrase "people have increasingly high demands for health." -
"This phenomenon helps preserve food better to avoid contact with pathogens" -> "This phenomenon enhances food preservation by minimizing contact with pathogens"
Explanation: "Enhances food preservation" is more specific and formal than "helps preserve food better," and "by minimizing contact with pathogens" clarifies the mechanism more effectively. -
"Thus minimizing people’s chances of getting sick" -> "Thus reducing the risk of illness"
Explanation: "Reducing the risk of illness" is a more precise and formal way to express the outcome, avoiding the colloquial "getting sick." -
"it is not only hygienic but also convenient" -> "it offers both hygienic and convenient benefits"
Explanation: "Offers both hygienic and convenient benefits" is a more formal and concise way to express the dual advantages, improving the academic tone. -
"Most plastic containers can be discarded after a single-use" -> "Most plastic containers are disposable"
Explanation: "Disposable" is a more precise and commonly used term in formal writing than "can be discarded after a single-use," which is verbose and less formal. -
"eliminating the need to wash them" -> "eliminating the need for washing"
Explanation: "Eliminating the need for washing" is more concise and formal, improving the sentence structure. -
"production materials as well as usage costs are a lower price than their alternative" -> "production materials and usage costs are lower than those of their alternatives"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the comparison and corrects the awkward phrasing, making it more precise and formal. -
"One of most triking downside" -> "One of the most striking disadvantages"
Explanation: Corrects a spelling error and uses "disadvantages" instead of "downside," which is less formal and less specific. -
"Plastics are known to melt and release toxic compounds when heated" -> "Plastics are known to degrade and release toxic compounds when heated"
Explanation: "Degradate" is a more precise term than "melt" in this context, as it refers to the breakdown of plastics under heat, which is more accurate and formal. -
"we need hundreds of years to decompose it" -> "it takes hundreds of years to decompose"
Explanation: "It takes hundreds of years to decompose" is a more formal and concise way to express the time required for decomposition. -
"Because of its convenience, we are indirectly destroying our living environment, living creatures, insects, animals and so on" -> "Convenience has inadvertently led to the destruction of our environment, affecting living creatures, insects, and animals"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the causal relationship and uses more formal language, avoiding the informal "and so on" and improving the flow of the sentence.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of plastic packaging. The author outlines several benefits, such as improved food preservation and convenience, while also highlighting significant drawbacks, including health risks and environmental concerns. The balance between the two sides is well-maintained, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the author could provide more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made about both advantages and disadvantages. For instance, citing studies on the health impacts of certain plastics or providing data on plastic waste could strengthen the argument.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the disadvantages of plastic packaging outweigh the advantages. This stance is articulated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion. However, the transition between discussing advantages and disadvantages could be smoother to reinforce the overall argument.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the author could use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument more effectively. For example, phrases like "Despite these benefits" or "Conversely" could help signal shifts in focus and reinforce the essay’s position.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the advantages and disadvantages of plastic packaging. However, some points could be further developed. For instance, while the author mentions that plastics can contain carcinogens, there is limited elaboration on how this impacts consumer behavior or public health.
- How to improve: The author should aim to extend ideas by providing more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, discussing specific types of plastics that are known to be harmful or mentioning initiatives aimed at reducing plastic use could add depth to the argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of plastic packaging. However, there are moments where the discussion could become more focused. For example, the phrase "living creatures, insects, animals and so on" could be more precise in discussing the environmental impact.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should avoid vague references and instead specify the types of environmental impacts being discussed. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph clearly relates back to the central question will help keep the essay on topic.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and presents a well-structured argument. With some enhancements in the areas of supporting details, clarity of transitions, and specificity, the essay could achieve an even higher score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of plastic containers to their drawbacks is somewhat abrupt. The introduction mentions both sides but does not clearly outline the specific points that will be discussed, which can confuse the reader about the essay’s direction.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider including a brief outline of the main points in the introduction. This could involve explicitly stating that the essay will first discuss the advantages and then the disadvantages. Additionally, using transition phrases such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" at the beginning of the paragraph discussing disadvantages could help signal the shift in focus more clearly.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate ideas, with one paragraph dedicated to advantages and another to disadvantages. However, the second paragraph could be better structured. The first sentence introduces the drawbacks but lacks a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of that paragraph. Furthermore, the transition between discussing the health risks and environmental impacts could be smoother.
- How to improve: Start the paragraph on disadvantages with a strong topic sentence that summarizes the main point, such as "Despite the benefits, the use of plastic containers poses significant risks to both health and the environment." Additionally, consider using sub-points within the paragraph to separate health-related issues from environmental concerns, which would create a clearer structure.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "In addition," which help to connect ideas. However, there is a limited range of cohesive devices used, and some sentences feel disconnected. For example, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be more fluid, as the current phrasing feels somewhat disjointed.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Furthermore" or "Moreover" to add information, and "However" or "Nevertheless" to contrast points. Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one by using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help maintain coherence throughout the essay.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, enhancing the logical flow, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices will contribute to a higher score in Coherence and Cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with terms such as "prevalent," "merits," "hygienic," and "carcinogens" used appropriately. However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. For instance, phrases like "good preservation" and "lower price" could be replaced with more advanced alternatives such as "effective preservation" and "cost-effective."
- How to improve: To enhance lexical range, the writer should incorporate more varied vocabulary and synonyms. For example, instead of repeating "plastic containers," the writer could use "plastic packaging" or "synthetic containers." Additionally, exploring academic or topic-specific vocabulary related to environmental science and health could elevate the essay’s quality.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "the aforementioned advantages are undeniable" could be more clearly articulated as "the aforementioned advantages are significant." Furthermore, the term "advatages" is a misspelling, which detracts from the precision of the vocabulary.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on ensuring that the chosen words accurately convey the intended meaning. This can be achieved by revising sentences for clarity and checking for any potential misinterpretations. Additionally, proofreading for spelling errors and ensuring the correct form of words (e.g., "advantages" instead of "advatages") is crucial.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "benificial" (beneficial), "advatages" (advantages), "triking" (striking), and "Plastic" (should not be capitalized mid-sentence). These errors hinder readability and may affect the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help improve overall spelling skills. Regular practice with vocabulary exercises can also reinforce correct spelling.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are notable areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and focusing on spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences such as "This phenomenon helps preserve food better to avoid contact with pathogens such as bacteria, germs or dirt" shows an ability to convey detailed information effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the second paragraph, where phrases like "This means that" and "Moreover" are used consecutively, which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied linking phrases and transition words. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "Moreover," alternatives like "In addition," "Furthermore," or "Additionally" could be employed. Additionally, experimenting with different sentence beginnings (e.g., starting sentences with adverbial clauses) can add variety.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For instance, the phrase "This trend is benificial in several aspects while I think its drawbacks are considerable" lacks a comma before "while," which can lead to confusion. Additionally, "advatages" is a spelling error that detracts from the overall professionalism of the essay. The sentence "One of most triking downside is that some plastics contain carcinogens" is also grammatically incorrect; it should be "One of the most striking downsides." Furthermore, the use of commas is inconsistent, particularly in lists, which can disrupt the flow of reading.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help solidify these concepts. For punctuation, reviewing the rules for comma placement, especially in complex sentences and lists, would be beneficial. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify awkward phrasing or punctuation errors that may have been overlooked during writing.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and correcting grammatical and punctuation errors will enhance the overall quality and coherence of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
The large number of nations where plastic containers have become more prevalent than ever are used by various food and beverage companies. This trend is beneficial in several aspects, while I think its drawbacks are considerable.
It is obvious that plastic containers bring a myriad of merits. On the one hand, people’s quality of life and income have improved significantly in recent years, so people have increasingly high demands for healthy products. This phenomenon helps preserve food better to avoid contact with pathogens such as bacteria, germs, or dirt, thus minimizing people’s chances of getting sick. Besides, it is not only hygienic but also convenient. Due to good preservation, goods are easy to hold, carry, or transport, whether the distance is near or far, for both street vendors and consumers. Most plastic containers can be discarded after a single use, eliminating the need to wash them. In addition, production materials as well as usage costs are lower than those of their alternatives.
Although the aforementioned advantages are undeniable, this development may exert some adverse effects on human health and the environment. One of the most striking disadvantages is that some plastics contain carcinogens. Plastics are known to melt and release toxic compounds when heated, which means that consumers are at a higher risk of developing cancer. Moreover, plastic is a difficult substance to decompose; it takes hundreds of years to decompose. Because of its convenience, we are indirectly destroying our living environment, affecting living creatures, insects, and animals.
To sum up, convenience and low prices are reasons why people use plastics to store food and drinks. However, I reckon that the disadvantages of this trend to the environment and people far outweigh the advantages of plastics and need to be addressed more.