Research indicates that nowadays some consumers are much less influenced by advertising than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Research indicates that nowadays some consumers are much less influenced by advertising than in the past.
What do you think are the reasons for this?
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Some individuals are of the opinion that these days, people are less being attracted to advertisements than in the past. In this essay, I would explain the reasons behind this trend before assessing its overall implications on consumers.
There are some reasons that explain why purchasers are more active in controlling what they have to buy without the effects of advertisements. By leveraging the fact that in the past, the accumulation of knowledge and journeys that each individual had about technology was not much, advertisers capitalized on this piece of knowledge by creating numerous characteristic and highly-attracted advertisements, which stimulated the sense of curiosity of human-beings. Thus, by observing these advertisements on not only televisions but also on street’s wall or newspapers, customers have a tendency to buy unnecessary products. However, in real-world settings, people develop a deeper understanding of the technologies and deceptive tactics often embedded in advertisements. This growing awareness, fueled by constant exposure to various marketing strategies, allows consumers to become more discerning and critical of the messages they encounter. Moreover, without any novelty in advertising videos or posters to meet the surging requirements of demands, consumers are no longer easily swayed by generic promotional tactics; instead, they seek authenticity, creativity, and relevance.
This approach, nevertheless, can have severe implications on advertising companies, meanwhile it provides a positive side for a handful of people who watched advertising. Regarding online shops which use advertisements, if they wanted to spread new products to the public to help viewers access various products, they would find it difficult to promote due to the raising awareness of buyers in allocating money for the accurate expense of essential daily products. Therefore, it is not feasible for new brands to enter the economics market and old companies to keep their place in these fields if they have no ideas about novel advertisements. However, this trend is beneficial for shoppers as it helps them save money by avoiding unnecessary purchases and spending on items they don’t truly need. This not only leads to better financial health but also reduces clutter and waste, promoting a more sustainable and thoughtful approach to consumption.
In conclusion, the altered understanding of advertisements and the widespread use of social media have resulted in the less crucial role advertising plays. In my point of view, I think this trend has positive effects for customers, however, it affects the development of companies.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Some individuals are of the opinion that these days, people are less being attracted to advertisements than in the past." -> "Some individuals believe that nowadays, people are less attracted to advertisements than in the past."
Explanation: The original phrase "are less being attracted" is grammatically incorrect. The corrected version "are less attracted" is grammatically correct and maintains the formal tone of academic writing. Additionally, "these days" is informal and vague; "nowadays" is more precise and formal. -
"I would explain" -> "I will explain"
Explanation: "I would explain" is less direct and less formal than "I will explain," which is more assertive and suitable for academic writing. -
"purchasers are more active in controlling what they have to buy" -> "consumers are more proactive in controlling their purchasing decisions"
Explanation: "Purchasers" is less common in this context; "consumers" is more appropriate. "More active in controlling what they have to buy" is vague and informal; "more proactive in controlling their purchasing decisions" is clearer and more formal. -
"without the effects of advertisements" -> "despite the influence of advertisements"
Explanation: "Without the effects of" is awkward and unclear. "Despite the influence of" is more precise and academically appropriate. -
"the accumulation of knowledge and journeys that each individual had about technology was not much" -> "the limited knowledge and experience individuals had about technology"
Explanation: "The accumulation of knowledge and journeys" is awkward and unclear. "The limited knowledge and experience" is more concise and clear. -
"characteristic and highly-attracted advertisements" -> "distinctive and highly attractive advertisements"
Explanation: "Characteristics" is not the correct term here; "distinctive" is more appropriate. Also, "highly-attracted" is grammatically incorrect; "highly attractive" is correct. -
"on not only televisions but also on street’s wall or newspapers" -> "on television screens, street walls, and newspapers"
Explanation: "On not only televisions but also on street’s wall or newspapers" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "On television screens, street walls, and newspapers" is grammatically correct and clearer. -
"customers have a tendency to buy unnecessary products" -> "consumers tend to purchase unnecessary products"
Explanation: "Customers" is less formal than "consumers," and "have a tendency to buy" is less formal than "tend to purchase." -
"in real-world settings" -> "in real-world contexts"
Explanation: "Settings" is less precise than "contexts," which is more commonly used in academic writing to describe situations or environments. -
"surging requirements of demands" -> "increasing demands"
Explanation: "Surging requirements of demands" is awkward and unclear. "Increasing demands" is straightforward and clear. -
"severe implications on advertising companies" -> "significant implications for advertising companies"
Explanation: "Severe" is too strong and informal; "significant" is more appropriate for academic tone. Also, "on" should be "for" to indicate the impact on the companies. -
"a handful of people who watched advertising" -> "a few individuals who view advertisements"
Explanation: "A handful of people who watched advertising" is informal and imprecise. "A few individuals who view advertisements" is more formal and precise. -
"Regarding online shops which use advertisements" -> "Regarding online retailers that use advertisements"
Explanation: "Online shops" is less formal than "online retailers," which is more specific and appropriate for academic writing. -
"if they wanted to spread new products to the public" -> "if they aim to introduce new products to the public"
Explanation: "Wanted to spread" is informal and vague; "aim to introduce" is more formal and precise. -
"raising awareness of buyers in allocating money" -> "increased awareness among consumers regarding budget allocation"
Explanation: "Raising awareness of buyers in allocating money" is awkward and unclear. "Increased awareness among consumers regarding budget allocation" is clearer and more formal. -
"it is not feasible for new brands to enter the economics market" -> "it is challenging for new brands to enter the economic market"
Explanation: "Economics market" is incorrect; "economic market" is the correct term. Also, "not feasible" is too absolute; "challenging" is more nuanced and appropriate. -
"have no ideas about novel advertisements" -> "lack innovative advertising strategies"
Explanation: "Have no ideas about novel advertisements" is verbose and informal. "Lack innovative advertising strategies" is concise and formal. -
"In my point of view" -> "In my view"
Explanation: "In my point of view" is redundant; "In my
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the reasons why consumers are less influenced by advertising and the implications of this trend. The first paragraph outlines the reasons, such as increased consumer awareness and the lack of novelty in advertising. The second paragraph evaluates the positive and negative implications for consumers and companies. However, the discussion of implications could be more balanced, as it leans slightly towards the positive side without fully exploring the negative consequences for businesses.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could provide a more thorough examination of the negative impacts on advertising companies, perhaps by discussing specific examples or statistics. Additionally, ensuring that both sides of the argument are equally represented would strengthen the overall analysis.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the trend of consumers being less influenced by advertising is largely positive for individuals. This is evident in the concluding statement, which reiterates the author’s viewpoint. However, the transition between discussing reasons and implications could be smoother, as the shift might confuse readers about the main argument.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the author could use clearer transitional phrases that link the reasons to the implications more explicitly. For example, stating how the reasons lead directly to the implications would reinforce the position throughout the essay.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding consumer behavior and advertising effectiveness. It discusses the growing awareness of consumers and the need for authenticity in advertising. However, some ideas are not fully developed; for instance, the mention of "deceptive tactics" could be elaborated with examples or further explanation of how these tactics have evolved.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the author should aim to elaborate on key points with specific examples or data. This could involve discussing particular advertising strategies that have become ineffective or providing statistics on consumer behavior changes. Additionally, ensuring that each idea is clearly linked back to the main argument will enhance coherence.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for decreased influence of advertising and its implications. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off track, such as the mention of "novel advertisements" without clear context or connection to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates to the prompt. This can be achieved by revisiting the essay prompt during the writing process to ensure all content is relevant. Additionally, using clear topic sentences for each paragraph can help guide the reader and reinforce the main focus of the essay.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, refining the balance of viewpoints, enhancing the development of ideas, and maintaining focus will help elevate the score further.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing reasons for decreased influence of advertising, and a conclusion. The first body paragraph effectively outlines the reasons consumers are less influenced by advertisements, while the second discusses the implications of this trend. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing consumer awareness to the implications for advertising companies feels abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences that directly link back to the thesis statement. Additionally, employing transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In contrast," "Consequently") can help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the first body paragraph is somewhat lengthy and could be split into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on consumer awareness and the other on the shift in advertising strategies. This would improve readability and clarity.
- How to improve: Aim for a more balanced paragraph structure by ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear main idea supported by relevant details. Consider starting a new paragraph when introducing a new idea or when the discussion shifts significantly, as this will help maintain clarity and organization.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "therefore." These devices help connect ideas within and between sentences. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive, and there are instances where more varied devices could enhance the writing. For example, the phrase "this approach" could be replaced with a more specific reference to the previous sentence for clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "additionally" to introduce new points, "on the other hand" for contrasting ideas, and "for instance" when providing examples. This variety will make the writing more engaging and fluid.
By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially improving the overall band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "accumulation of knowledge," "deceptive tactics," and "sustainable and thoughtful approach." These phrases indicate an ability to convey complex ideas effectively. However, some vocabulary choices are somewhat repetitive or lack variety, such as the repeated use of "advertisements" and "consumers."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "advertisements," you could use "promotional content," "marketing strategies," or "advertising campaigns." This will not only diversify the vocabulary but also enrich the overall quality of the writing.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay includes some precise vocabulary, such as "discerning" and "authenticity," which effectively convey the intended meanings. However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "characteristic and highly-attracted advertisements," where "highly-attracted" is awkward and unclear. Additionally, the phrase "the raising awareness of buyers" could be more accurately expressed as "the increasing awareness of buyers."
- How to improve: Focus on refining word choices to ensure clarity and precision. For example, replace "highly-attracted" with "visually appealing" or "engaging." Additionally, consider rephrasing "the raising awareness" to "the growing awareness." This will enhance the clarity of your arguments and strengthen the overall impact of your writing.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling accuracy, with few errors. However, there are minor issues, such as "human-beings," which should be written as "human beings," and "economics market," which should be "economic market."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, it is advisable to proofread the essay carefully before submission. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises and using spell-check tools can help identify and correct errors. Familiarizing yourself with common spelling rules and exceptions can also contribute to overall improvement in this area.
By addressing these areas, you can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria for your IELTS Task 2 essay.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some compound sentences. For example, phrases like "By leveraging the fact that in the past, the accumulation of knowledge and journeys that each individual had about technology was not much" showcase an attempt to use more intricate grammatical forms. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "people are less being attracted to advertisements," which detracts from the overall fluency and coherence of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, using participial phrases or conditional clauses can add depth. Additionally, ensure that complex structures are grammatically correct and natural-sounding. Practicing sentence combining exercises can help in achieving this.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For instance, "people are less being attracted to advertisements" should be rephrased to "people are less attracted to advertisements." There are also punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma in "street’s wall or newspapers," which should be "street walls or newspapers." The use of "human-beings" is incorrect; it should simply be "humans." These errors can lead to confusion and disrupt the flow of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review basic grammar rules, particularly concerning verb forms and subject-verb agreement. Regular proofreading can help catch errors before finalizing the essay. Additionally, practicing with grammar exercises focused on common mistakes can enhance overall accuracy. Reading extensively can also help internalize correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable attempt at using a range of grammatical structures, attention to detail in grammar and punctuation is necessary to elevate the writing quality. By focusing on these areas, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future assessments.
Bài sửa mẫu
Some individuals believe that nowadays, people are less attracted to advertisements than in the past. In this essay, I will explain the reasons behind this trend before assessing its overall implications for consumers.
There are several reasons that explain why consumers are more proactive in controlling their purchasing decisions despite the influence of advertisements. In the past, the limited knowledge and experience individuals had about technology allowed advertisers to capitalize on this by creating distinctive and highly attractive advertisements that stimulated curiosity. Thus, by observing these advertisements on television screens, street walls, and in newspapers, customers tended to purchase unnecessary products. However, in real-world contexts, people have developed a deeper understanding of the technologies and deceptive tactics often embedded in advertisements. This growing awareness, fueled by constant exposure to various marketing strategies, allows consumers to become more discerning and critical of the messages they encounter. Moreover, without any novelty in advertising videos or posters to meet the increasing demands of consumers, they are no longer easily swayed by generic promotional tactics; instead, they seek authenticity, creativity, and relevance.
This shift, however, can have significant implications for advertising companies, while it provides a positive side for a few individuals who view advertisements. Regarding online retailers that use advertisements, if they aim to introduce new products to the public, they may find it challenging to promote due to the increased awareness among consumers regarding budget allocation for essential daily expenses. Therefore, it is difficult for new brands to enter the economic market, and established companies may struggle to maintain their positions if they lack innovative advertising strategies. Nevertheless, this trend is beneficial for shoppers as it helps them save money by avoiding unnecessary purchases and spending on items they don’t truly need. This not only leads to better financial health but also reduces clutter and waste, promoting a more sustainable and thoughtful approach to consumption.
In conclusion, the altered understanding of advertisements and the widespread use of social media have resulted in a diminished role for advertising. In my view, I think this trend has positive effects for customers, although it poses challenges for the development of companies.