Robots can free people from difficult or dangerous work. However, some people are worried about the possible dangers. What is your opinion?

The rapid development of technology has brought to humans many new inventions that could help people in some situations. Some people believe that robots would improve the manufacturing rate and relieve individuals of hard and harmful tasks. Besides that, it also argues several drawbacks could be hazardous for humans. This essay will discuss both pros and cons.
Primarily, we are living in a modern life with the outstanding development of technology. Annually, many robots are invented to support our lives, we cannot deny the benefit that it brings to us. Because robots are not human, they are useful and effective in many actions that are impossible for human beings to handle. For instance, they do not get rid of fatigue or boredom. So they are able to do repetitive tasks for a long time. Furthermore, robots do not need vacation and they do not have to look after their families. All of that help manufacture save amount of budget and time.
Additionally, Robots are suitable for tasks that are too complicated or dangerous to be done by humans. For example, they can work in situations when radiation from nuclear harms human health. Moreover, they have been also used for work in natural environments like tracking animal life or discovering depth in the ocean.
Even though they have brought to us a lot of advantages, sometimes they could cause some issues to people. Robots cannot assume responsibility, they can follow what we want them to do. That means, they still need to work as a guide for humans. More specifically, they cannot solve problems that out of what we are programmed to them. In this case, without the support of humans, they could cause much damage which harms human life.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that robots help our lives more conveniently, but they still need to work with human guides to avoid unacceptable situations.

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Errors and Improvements:

"Some people believe that robots would improve the manufacturing rate" -> "Some individuals believe that robots could enhance manufacturing efficiency"
Explanation: "Improve the manufacturing rate" is somewhat informal. "Enhance manufacturing efficiency" is more formal and precise.
"Besides that, it also argues several drawbacks could be hazardous for humans." -> "Moreover, it also posits that several drawbacks could pose hazards to humans."
Explanation: The original phrase is unclear and awkward. "Posits" and "hazards" are more formal and precise.
"Primarily, we are living in a modern life with the outstanding development of technology." -> "Primarily, we are experiencing a modern era characterized by remarkable technological advancements."
Explanation: "Living in a modern life" is redundant and not academic. "Experiencing a modern era" is more formal and precise.
"Annually, many robots are invented to support our lives, we cannot deny the benefit that it brings to us." -> "Each year, numerous robots are created to enhance our lives; we cannot deny the benefits they bring."
Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly structured. Using "created" instead of "invented" is more formal, and the second part of the sentence is rephrased for clarity.
"Because robots are not human, they are useful and effective in many actions that are impossible for human beings to handle." -> "Due to their non-human nature, robots are valuable and efficient in tasks that are beyond human capabilities."
Explanation: The original sentence is repetitive. The revised version is more concise and formal.
"For instance, they do not get rid of fatigue or boredom. So they are able to do repetitive tasks for a long time." -> "For instance, they do not experience fatigue or boredom, enabling them to perform repetitive tasks continuously."
Explanation: The original phrasing is somewhat informal. The revised version is more concise and formal.
"Furthermore, robots do not need vacation and they do not have to look after their families." -> "Furthermore, robots do not require vacations or have familial responsibilities."
Explanation: The revised version is more concise and formal.
"All of that help manufacture save amount of budget and time." -> "All of these factors help in saving manufacturing costs and time."
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect. "Factors" is a more suitable term than "that."
"Additionally, Robots are suitable for tasks that are too complicated or dangerous to be done by humans." -> "Additionally, robots are suitable for tasks that are either too complex or too hazardous for humans."
Explanation: Capitalizing "robots" is unnecessary. Using "either…or" structure enhances clarity and formal tone.
"Moreover, they have been also used for work in natural environments like tracking animal life or discovering depth in the ocean." -> "Moreover, they have been employed in natural environments, such as tracking animal life or exploring ocean depths."
Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly structured. The revised version is more concise and formal.
"Even though they have brought to us a lot of advantages, sometimes they could cause some issues to people." -> "Despite their numerous advantages, robots can sometimes create problems for people."
Explanation: The original sentence is wordy and unclear. The revised version is more concise and formal.
"Robots cannot assume responsibility, they can follow what we want them to do." -> "Robots cannot take on responsibilities, but they can execute tasks as programmed."
Explanation: The revised version is more concise and formal.
"That means, they still need to work as a guide for humans." -> "This implies that they still need human guidance."
Explanation: The revised version is more concise and formal.
"More specifically, they cannot solve problems that out of what we are programmed to them." -> "More specifically, they cannot solve problems beyond their programmed capabilities."
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect. The revised version is more concise and formal.
"In this case, without the support of humans, they could cause much damage which harms human life." -> "In such instances, without human intervention, they could cause significant harm to human life."
Explanation: The original sentence is wordy and awkward. The revised version is more concise and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both sides of the argument, discussing the potential benefits and drawbacks of employing robots in various tasks. It acknowledges that robots can alleviate difficult or hazardous work while also highlighting concerns about their limitations and the need for human oversight.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, provide more specific examples or scenarios where robots have been particularly beneficial or detrimental. Additionally, ensure a balanced discussion by devoting equal attention to both perspectives.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position by acknowledging the benefits of robots in certain tasks while also emphasizing the necessity of human oversight. However, the stance could be articulated more explicitly and consistently throughout the essay.
- How to improve: Clarify the position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion to reinforce the essay’s stance. Additionally, use language that unequivocally communicates the writer’s viewpoint on the issue.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of robots effectively. It provides examples to support its points, such as the ability of robots to perform repetitive tasks and their utility in hazardous environments. However, some ideas could be further developed for greater depth and clarity.
- How to improve: Elaborate on the potential risks associated with robot autonomy and the need for human intervention. Provide more nuanced explanations or evidence to strengthen the argument and anticipate counterarguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the implications of using robots to alleviate difficult or dangerous work. However, there are some instances where the discussion veers slightly off-topic, such as mentioning robots working in natural environments.
- How to improve: Maintain a tighter focus on the prompt by avoiding tangential discussions. Ensure that all examples and arguments directly relate to the central theme of robots in the context of difficult or hazardous work.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a balanced view, there is room for improvement in articulating a clearer position, providing more developed arguments, and maintaining a tighter focus on the topic throughout. Incorporating these suggestions can elevate the essay’s coherence and persuasiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt at organizing information logically. It begins with an introduction that presents the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed. Each subsequent paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument: the benefits of robots, their suitability for complex or hazardous tasks, and the potential drawbacks. However, there are some instances of repetition and lack of smooth transitions between ideas, which slightly affect the overall logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, focus on maintaining a clear and consistent progression of ideas throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph builds upon the previous one and that there are smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, avoid repeating ideas already mentioned in the introduction or previous paragraphs to maintain coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to organize its content, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the argument. However, there is room for improvement in terms of paragraph structure and effectiveness. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas, which could be better presented as separate paragraphs to enhance clarity and coherence. For example, the paragraph discussing the benefits of robots could be divided into two paragraphs, one focusing on productivity and another on safety.
- How to improve: Aim for a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea. Develop each idea fully within its respective paragraph, providing supporting details and examples where necessary. Additionally, ensure that paragraphs are well-balanced in terms of length and that there is a smooth transition between paragraphs to maintain coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions (e.g., "however," "additionally," "in conclusion") and referencing words (e.g., "that," "those"). These devices help to connect ideas within and between sentences, contributing to coherence and cohesion. However, there is limited diversity in the types of cohesive devices used, and some transitions could be smoother to improve overall coherence.
- How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used, including synonyms for commonly used conjunctions and referencing words to avoid repetition. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of transitional phrases to ensure that they seamlessly connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Practice varying sentence structures and incorporating transitional phrases effectively to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a generally effective organization of ideas and coherence, there is room for improvement in terms of avoiding repetition, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, thereby enhancing its overall quality and readability.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to vary word choice. For instance, it employs words like "inventions," "manufacturing," "complicated," "advantages," and "responsibility." However, there is room for improvement in the diversity and sophistication of vocabulary. More precise and nuanced language could enhance the depth of the argument and convey the writer’s ideas more effectively.
- How to improve: To enrich the lexical resource, the writer can incorporate a broader array of vocabulary, including synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and academic terminology relevant to the topic. For example, instead of repeatedly using "robots," they could interchangeably use terms like "automatons," "mechanical assistants," or "artificial intelligence systems." Moreover, integrating specialized vocabulary related to technology and automation would enhance the sophistication of the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with moderate precision. However, there are instances where word choice could be more precise to convey the intended meaning accurately. For instance, the phrase "they do not get rid of fatigue or boredom" could be refined for clarity and precision. Additionally, the expression "they have been also used for work" could be more concise and grammatically accurate.
- How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, the writer should aim for clarity and specificity in their word choices. Instead of using vague phrases like "get rid of fatigue or boredom," they could employ more precise terms like "do not experience fatigue or boredom." Similarly, refining expressions like "they have been also used for work" to "they are also employed in various tasks" would improve clarity and grammatical accuracy. Additionally, consulting a thesaurus or academic resources can help identify more precise synonyms and terminology to convey ideas effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits acceptable spelling accuracy, with minimal errors observed. However, there are a few instances of misspellings and typographical errors, such as "advantages," "harms," and "manufacture."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should prioritize proofreading and revising their work meticulously. Utilizing spell-checking tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify and correct spelling errors effectively. Additionally, practicing spelling exercises and actively expanding vocabulary can contribute to enhancing spelling proficiency over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, there are simple declarative sentences like "Robots are suitable for tasks that are too complicated or dangerous to be done by humans." as well as complex sentences such as "In this case, without the support of humans, they could cause much damage which harms human life." However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the sentence structures further. The essay predominantly relies on simple sentence structures, and there’s limited use of more sophisticated constructions such as conditional sentences or inverted sentences to add variety and depth to the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and fluency of the essay, incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures would be beneficial. Introducing conditional sentences to discuss hypothetical scenarios or using inversion for emphasis could add complexity and sophistication to the writing. Additionally, employing rhetorical devices like parallelism or varied clause structures can enhance the overall coherence and engagement of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates a good grasp of grammar and punctuation, with few notable errors. However, there are some instances of grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors throughout the essay that slightly detract from its clarity and precision. For example, in the sentence "All of that help manufacture save amount of budget and time," the subject-verb agreement is incorrect ("help" should be "helps"), and there’s a missing article before "save amount of budget and time" ("a" before "save"). Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors such as missing commas after introductory phrases and inconsistent capitalization of "Robots" in some instances.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it’s essential to review and revise the essay carefully, paying close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation rules. Utilizing proofreading techniques such as reading the essay aloud or seeking feedback from peers can help identify and correct any errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with common grammatical structures and punctuation rules through practice exercises or grammar guides can strengthen language proficiency and accuracy. Finally, taking the time to edit and revise writing assignments thoroughly before submission can significantly enhance the overall quality and effectiveness of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The rapid advancement of technology has introduced numerous innovations aimed at assisting humans in various situations. Some individuals believe that robots could enhance manufacturing efficiency and alleviate individuals from arduous and perilous tasks. However, concerns regarding potential hazards also exist. This essay will examine both the benefits and drawbacks of this perspective.

Primarily, in our modern society characterized by remarkable technological progress, robots play a pivotal role in supporting human life. Annually, a multitude of robots are developed to enhance our lives, and the advantages they offer cannot be overlooked. Unlike humans, robots are capable of executing tasks efficiently and effectively without succumbing to fatigue or boredom. Consequently, they excel in handling repetitive tasks for extended periods. Additionally, robots do not require breaks or attend to familial responsibilities, thereby contributing to significant savings in both time and resources for manufacturing industries.

Moreover, robots are well-suited for tasks that are either too complex or hazardous for human engagement. For instance, they can operate in environments where exposure to nuclear radiation poses risks to human health. Furthermore, they have been instrumental in conducting work in natural settings, such as tracking animal behavior or exploring the depths of the ocean.

Despite the myriad advantages they offer, robots also pose certain challenges. They lack the ability to take responsibility and can only perform tasks as instructed. Consequently, they rely heavily on human guidance. Moreover, their problem-solving capabilities are limited to the parameters of their programming. Consequently, in situations where human intervention is necessary, their autonomy may lead to detrimental outcomes, posing risks to human life.

In conclusion, while it is undeniable that robots significantly enhance convenience in our lives, it is imperative that they operate under human supervision to mitigate potential risks and prevent adverse situations.