Should the government spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should the government spend more money on improving public transportation?

People have argued about how the government should utilize their budgets on transportation areas. Some people think that the government should spend more money on developing streets and highways, while others argue money should be used to enhance the quality of public transportation. From my perspective, both road and public transport systems play crucial roles in modern day.

On the one hand, better street quality increases the level of safety and declines traffic congestion. If a country possessed high-quality roads and highways, this makes the movement of vehicles more fluent. For instance, the number of road accidents is increasing because there are a lot of holes on the street’s surface in many cities of Vietnam. Therefore, the road system should be kept to a good standard and also means improving road safety by bringing the number of traffic accidents down. Furthermore, building wider roads in big cities like HaNoi or Ho Chi Minh, which help to raise road capacity. As a result, there will be more space for a larger number of vehicles, reducing congestion.

On the other hand, the investment in public transportation is beneficial for the environment. Traveling by means of public transportation such as bus or subway is a way to save money and energy because of the economical ticket price and less fuel energy used. Therefore, public transport will improve air quality and reduce pollution. As public transport becomes more convenient, it will gradually decrease the number of private vehicle users, the less traffic congestion.

In conclusion, streets and public transportation have a significant part in our lives. Therefore, the government should manage the budget and invest in both
as it will help both the public.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"People have argued about how the government should utilize their budgets on transportation areas." -> "There has been debate about how governments should allocate their budgets to transportation sectors."
Explanation: The phrase "utilize their budgets on transportation areas" is awkward and informal. "Allocate their budgets to transportation sectors" is more precise and formal, aligning better with academic style.
"Some people think that the government should spend more money on developing streets and highways" -> "Some argue that governments should invest more in developing streets and highways"
Explanation: "Some people think" is too informal and vague; "Some argue" is more assertive and appropriate for academic writing. Also, "spend more money" is replaced with "invest more" to enhance the formality and specificity.
"enhance the quality of public transportation" -> "improve the quality of public transportation"
Explanation: "Enhance" is slightly less common in this context than "improve," which is more straightforward and commonly used in formal writing about infrastructure development.
"From my perspective, both road and public transport systems play crucial roles in modern day." -> "From my perspective, both road and public transportation systems play crucial roles in modern society."
Explanation: "Modern day" is informal and vague; "modern society" is more precise and formal. Additionally, "transport systems" is more specific than "transport."
"better street quality increases the level of safety and declines traffic congestion" -> "improved street quality enhances safety and reduces traffic congestion"
Explanation: "Better street quality" is vague; "improved street quality" is more specific. "Declines" is less formal than "reduces," which is preferred in academic writing.
"If a country possessed high-quality roads and highways" -> "If a country had high-quality roads and highways"
Explanation: "Possessed" is less common in this context; "had" is more direct and appropriate for describing possession in this context.
"this makes the movement of vehicles more fluent" -> "this facilitates smoother vehicle movement"
Explanation: "Makes the movement of vehicles more fluent" is awkward and unclear; "facilitates smoother vehicle movement" is more precise and formal.
"the number of road accidents is increasing because there are a lot of holes on the street’s surface" -> "the number of road accidents is increasing due to numerous potholes on the street’s surface"
Explanation: "A lot of holes" is informal and imprecise; "numerous potholes" is more specific and formal.
"building wider roads in big cities like HaNoi or Ho Chi Minh" -> "expanding roadways in major cities such as Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh"
Explanation: "Building wider roads" is informal and vague; "expanding roadways" is more precise and formal. Also, "big cities" is informal; "major cities" is more appropriate.
"which help to raise road capacity" -> "which increases road capacity"
Explanation: "Help to raise" is less direct; "increases" is more straightforward and formal.
"Traveling by means of public transportation such as bus or subway" -> "Using public transportation such as buses or subways"
Explanation: "Traveling by means of" is verbose and informal; "Using" is more direct and appropriate for formal writing.
"because of the economical ticket price and less fuel energy used" -> "due to the affordable ticket prices and reduced fuel consumption"
Explanation: "Economical" is less precise; "affordable" is more commonly used in this context. "Less fuel energy used" is awkward; "reduced fuel consumption" is clearer and more formal.
"public transport will improve air quality and reduce pollution" -> "public transportation will improve air quality and reduce pollution"
Explanation: "Public transport" is less formal; "public transportation" is the correct term in this context.
"it will gradually decrease the number of private vehicle users, the less traffic congestion" -> "it will gradually reduce the number of private vehicle users, thereby decreasing traffic congestion"
Explanation: "The less traffic congestion" is grammatically incorrect; "thereby decreasing traffic congestion" corrects this and enhances clarity and formality.
"streets and public transportation have a significant part in our lives" -> "streets and public transportation play a significant role in our lives"
Explanation: "Have a significant part" is awkward and unclear; "play a significant role" is the correct idiomatic expression for describing the importance of something in a formal context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both aspects of the prompt by discussing the benefits of improving roads and highways as well as public transportation. The first paragraph introduces the topic effectively, and the subsequent paragraphs provide arguments for both sides. However, the conclusion lacks a definitive stance on whether one should be prioritized over the other, which is a crucial part of the task.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly state a preference in the conclusion, indicating whether they believe the government should prioritize spending on roads or public transportation. Additionally, providing a more balanced discussion with specific examples for both sides would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general perspective that both road and public transport systems are important, but it lacks a clear and consistent position throughout. While the writer acknowledges the significance of both systems, they do not assert a clear preference or argument for one over the other, which can confuse the reader regarding the main point of the essay.
- How to improve: The writer should adopt a more definitive stance early in the essay and consistently refer back to this position in each paragraph. Using phrases like "I believe" or "In my opinion" can help clarify the writer’s viewpoint and reinforce their argument throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to both road improvement and public transportation, with some supporting details. For instance, the mention of road safety and traffic congestion is relevant, and the environmental benefits of public transport are well noted. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited, lacking depth and a variety of examples to substantiate the claims.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should expand on each point with more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, they could include statistics on traffic accidents or pollution levels, or discuss specific successful public transportation systems in other countries. This would provide a stronger foundation for their arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the merits of both improving roads and enhancing public transportation. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharpened. For example, the phrase "the less traffic congestion" in the public transportation section is somewhat vague and could be more clearly articulated.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the main question. They could also use topic sentences that clearly indicate the main idea of each paragraph, ensuring that all points made are relevant to the central argument of the essay. Additionally, avoiding vague phrases and ensuring clarity in expression will help keep the essay on topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs (one for each viewpoint), and a conclusion. The arguments are logically sequenced, addressing the prompt effectively. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of improving roads, while the second focuses on public transportation. However, the transition between the two paragraphs could be smoother, as the shift from discussing roads to public transportation feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning of the second body paragraph, such as "Conversely" or "In addition to road improvements," to better signal the shift in focus. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea, which will help guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the conclusion is somewhat weak, as it lacks a clear summary of the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. Instead, it merely states that both systems are important without reiterating the reasons why.
- How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the key points made in each body paragraph. For instance, you could briefly restate the benefits of both improved roads and public transportation. This will reinforce the arguments made and provide a more satisfying closure to the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal contrasting ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, in the first body paragraph, the phrase "this makes the movement of vehicles more fluent" could be better connected to the previous sentence to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Moreover," "Furthermore," "In contrast," and "Consequently." Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one by using phrases that explicitly connect ideas, such as "This leads to" or "As a result of this."

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, there are areas for improvement in the logical flow, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices. By addressing these points, the essay can achieve a higher band score in the Coherence and Cohesion criteria.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of transportation. Terms like "developing," "enhance," "safety," "congestion," and "investment" are appropriately used. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "spend more money" and "improving," which appear multiple times without variation. For example, the phrase "better street quality" could be enhanced with synonyms like "superior road conditions" or "enhanced roadway standards."
- How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "improving," alternatives such as "upgrading," "enhancing," or "refining" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more specific vocabulary related to transportation (e.g., "infrastructure," "commuting," "modal shift") would enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the movement of vehicles more fluent" is awkward and incorrect; "fluent" should be replaced with "smooth" or "efficient." Additionally, the phrase "the number of road accidents is increasing because there are a lot of holes on the street’s surface" could be more precisely stated as "the prevalence of potholes on road surfaces contributes to a rise in road accidents."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that accurately convey their intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing vocabulary choices and considering whether they fit the context. Utilizing a thesaurus or vocabulary lists related to transportation can also help in finding more suitable words.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally good level of spelling accuracy, with few errors. However, there are minor issues, such as "HaNoi," which should be spelled as "Hanoi." Additionally, the phrase "the less traffic congestion" is grammatically incorrect and should be rephrased to "less traffic congestion."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, paying attention to proper nouns and commonly misspelled words. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can also help catch errors that may be overlooked during writing.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band 6 for Lexical Resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and carefully proofreading for spelling, the writer can enhance their overall lexical resource in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, the use of "If a country possessed high-quality roads and highways, this makes the movement of vehicles more fluent" showcases a conditional structure, which adds depth to the argument. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures, such as inversion or varied clause placements.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences with subordinate clauses or use different sentence openings. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "the government should," the writer could use phrases like "Investing in public transportation not only…" or "While improving roads is essential, enhancing public transport offers…" This would create a more engaging and dynamic writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are some errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "the number of road accidents is increasing because there are a lot of holes on the street’s surface" could be more succinctly expressed as "the increasing number of road accidents is due to numerous potholes on city streets." Additionally, punctuation issues arise, such as the comma splice in "the less traffic congestion" which should be "which leads to less traffic congestion."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors such as subject-verb agreement and punctuation. Practicing sentence combining exercises could help reduce comma splices and enhance overall clarity. Furthermore, the writer should ensure that possessive forms are used correctly, as seen in "the street’s surface," which is correct but could be simplified for clarity. Engaging in grammar exercises that focus on common pitfalls can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, there are opportunities for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision. By addressing these areas, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

People have argued about how the government should utilize its budget for transportation areas. Some people think that the government should spend more money on developing streets and highways, while others argue that money should be used to enhance the quality of public transportation. From my perspective, both road and public transport systems play crucial roles in modern society.

On the one hand, better street quality increases safety and reduces traffic congestion. If a country possessed high-quality roads and highways, this facilitates smoother vehicle movement. For instance, the number of road accidents is increasing because there are many potholes on the street’s surface in many cities in Vietnam. Therefore, the road system should be maintained to a good standard, which also means improving road safety by reducing the number of traffic accidents. Furthermore, building wider roads in big cities like Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh helps to increase road capacity. As a result, there will be more space for a larger number of vehicles, reducing congestion.

On the other hand, investment in public transportation is beneficial for the environment. Traveling by means of public transportation such as buses or subways is a way to save money and energy because of the affordable ticket prices and reduced fuel consumption. Therefore, public transport will improve air quality and reduce pollution. As public transport becomes more convenient, it will gradually decrease the number of private vehicle users, thereby decreasing traffic congestion.

In conclusion, streets and public transportation play a significant role in our lives. Therefore, the government should manage the budget and invest in both, as it will benefit the public.