“Some argue that individuals should take responsibility for reducing waste and recycling. Others believe that large corporations and governments are more accountable for managing waste and pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”
"Some argue that individuals should take responsibility for reducing waste and recycling. Others believe that large corporations and governments are more accountable for managing waste and pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
As the global population continues to escalate dramatically, concerns about environmental degradation have become increasingly urgent. While some argue that the optimal solution lies in individuals taking personal responsibility for reducing and recycling waste, I contend that large corporations and government intervention are more effective approaches to managing waste and pollution. If the government were to control illegal waste disposal and promote the utilization of alternative energy sources, such as wind power, it would significantly contribute to the creation of a more sustainable environment. This essay will discuss both views and argue that the role of government is essential in addressing environmental issues.
Proponents emphasize that raising awareness regarding waste reduction is crucial, as it can minimize landfill pollution and contribute to a more sustainable waste management system. When a significant number of individuals collectively engage in waste reduction efforts, they can make a substantial difference in addressing waste management challenges. For example, if everyone makes an effort to reduce household waste and limit the use of single-use plastics, this collective action can lead to a significant reduction in overall waste. Moreover, by raising public awareness and educating people on environmental issues, governments can ensure the development of sustainable habits, ultimately fostering a culture of environmental stewardship. Nevertheless, these individual measures should be part of a broader strategy, which also includes government intervention such as stricter regulation on waste and pollution, to form a comprehensive approach to tackling environmental issues.
However, although individuals' efforts are vital to reducing pollution, the responsibility for managing waste and reducing environmental impact primarily lies with corporations and governments, which have a greater capacity to influence environmental outcomes. Through the implementation of stricter regulations and policies, the government can compel companies to adopt more sustainable practices, such as reducing plastic packaging or investing in alternative energy, thereby significantly reducing environmental impact. For instance, many developed countries have successfully implemented stricter regulations on companies manufacturing plastic packaging, leading to a decrease in plastic waste. Furthermore, authorities can subsidize wind power and other forms of alternative energy in various industries, which can minimize air pollution and reduce reliance on fossil fuels. Therefore, the government's role is vital in reducing pollution, as it ensures the protection of the environment through the application of stricter regulations on plastic production and the promotion of alternative energy sources
In conclusion, although personal responsibility for reducing waste is crucial, the role of authorities is vital in enhancing the environment through policies that prohibit plastic production and promote the use of alternative energy. These government measures are more effective in combating environmental issues and fostering a healthier environment for citizens. By minimizing financial barriers and ensuring that everyone has the opportunity to contribute to environmental protection, governments can play a key role in addressing the global challenge of pollution and waste management.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"As the global population continues to escalate dramatically" -> "As the global population continues to grow rapidly"
Explanation: The word "escalate" can imply a sudden and often negative increase, which may not be the intended meaning here. "Grow rapidly" is more neutral and precise, fitting the context better. -
"concerns about environmental degradation have become increasingly urgent" -> "concerns about environmental degradation have become increasingly pressing"
Explanation: "Pressing" is a more formal synonym for "urgent" and is commonly used in academic writing to describe matters of importance. -
"I contend that large corporations and government intervention are more effective" -> "I argue that large corporations and government intervention are more effective"
Explanation: "Contend" is slightly less formal than "argue," which is typically used in academic discourse to express a reasoned opinion. -
"If the government were to control illegal waste disposal" -> "If the government were to regulate illegal waste disposal"
Explanation: "Regulate" is a more precise term than "control" in the context of government actions, emphasizing the formal and systematic nature of the intervention. -
"promote the utilization of alternative energy sources, such as wind power" -> "promote the adoption of alternative energy sources, such as wind power"
Explanation: "Adoption" is more specific and formal than "utilization," which can be vague and less precise in this context. -
"it would significantly contribute to the creation of a more sustainable environment" -> "it would significantly contribute to creating a more sustainable environment"
Explanation: Removing "the creation of" simplifies the sentence and maintains the formal tone while improving readability. -
"raising awareness regarding waste reduction is crucial" -> "raising awareness about waste reduction is crucial"
Explanation: "About" is more commonly used in formal writing than "regarding" when referring to topics or issues. -
"can minimize landfill pollution" -> "can reduce landfill pollution"
Explanation: "Reduce" is a more direct and formal term than "minimize" in this context, emphasizing the decrease in pollution. -
"collective action can lead to a significant reduction in overall waste" -> "collective action can result in a substantial reduction in overall waste"
Explanation: "Result in" is more formal and precise than "lead to," and "substantial" is preferred over "significant" for describing the magnitude of the reduction. -
"ensuring the development of sustainable habits" -> "promoting the development of sustainable habits"
Explanation: "Promoting" is more active and precise than "ensuring," which can imply a guarantee that may not be feasible in this context. -
"the responsibility for managing waste and reducing environmental impact primarily lies with corporations and governments" -> "the primary responsibility for managing waste and reducing environmental impact rests with corporations and governments"
Explanation: "Rests with" is a more formal expression than "lies with," and "primary" clarifies the emphasis on the main responsibility. -
"compel companies to adopt more sustainable practices" -> "require companies to adopt more sustainable practices"
Explanation: "Require" is a more formal and direct verb than "compel," which can imply coercion, which may not be the intended meaning. -
"minimize financial barriers" -> "reduce financial barriers"
Explanation: "Reduce" is a more straightforward and formal term than "minimize" in this context, emphasizing the decrease in barriers. -
"ensuring that everyone has the opportunity to contribute to environmental protection" -> "ensuring equal opportunities for all to contribute to environmental protection"
Explanation: "Equal opportunities for all" is more precise and inclusive, emphasizing fairness and accessibility in environmental efforts.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding individual versus corporate/government responsibility for waste management. The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives and presents the author’s opinion, which is maintained throughout the essay. The discussion of individual responsibility includes points about awareness and collective action, while the argument for government and corporate responsibility is supported with examples of regulations and policies. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit comparison of the effectiveness of both approaches in the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance the response to all parts of the question, the writer could include a more direct comparison of the two viewpoints, possibly in a dedicated paragraph that evaluates the strengths and weaknesses of each approach. This would provide a clearer contrast and deepen the analysis.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that emphasizes the importance of government and corporate responsibility over individual actions. This stance is consistently supported throughout the essay, with the author reiterating their belief in the necessity of government intervention. The conclusion succinctly restates this position, reinforcing the argument made in the body of the essay.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the writer could strengthen their argument by occasionally acknowledging the merits of individual responsibility in more depth. This could involve discussing how individual actions can complement government policies, thereby creating a more nuanced argument that still upholds the primary position.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the discussion of government actions and their impact on waste management. Examples, such as the implementation of stricter regulations on plastic packaging, effectively illustrate the points made. However, some ideas, particularly those regarding individual responsibility, could be more thoroughly developed. For instance, the mention of public awareness campaigns could be expanded with specific examples or statistics to provide stronger support.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and evidence for claims made about individual responsibility. Incorporating statistics or case studies could lend additional credibility to the argument and illustrate the potential impact of individual actions more vividly.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both individual and corporate/government responsibilities in waste management. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, and the writer does not deviate from the central theme. The structure is logical, with a clear progression of ideas that aligns with the prompt.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. Occasionally reiterating the connection between individual actions and governmental policies could strengthen the coherence of the argument and remind the reader of the essay’s central focus.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. To achieve an even higher band score, the writer should focus on deepening the analysis of both perspectives, providing more detailed examples, and ensuring that every point made reinforces the central argument.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are organized to first discuss the individual responsibility for waste reduction and then shift to the role of corporations and governments. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument. However, the transition between the two perspectives could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing individual actions to the role of government feels somewhat abrupt and could benefit from a more explicit linking sentence that summarizes the previous point before introducing the next.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas between paragraphs. For instance, after discussing individual efforts, a sentence like "While individual actions are important, they must be complemented by systemic changes led by larger entities" could help bridge the two sections more effectively.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, the first body paragraph discusses individual responsibility, the second focuses on government and corporate roles, and the conclusion summarizes the main points. However, the second body paragraph is quite lengthy and could be divided into two distinct paragraphs for clarity, especially since it covers multiple points about government actions and their impacts.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones that each focus on a single idea or example. For instance, the discussion on government regulations could be split into one paragraph addressing regulations and another on subsidies for alternative energy. This would enhance readability and allow for a more focused discussion of each point.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "therefore," which help to connect ideas and indicate relationships between them. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. However, there is a tendency to rely on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel repetitive. For example, the word "government" is used frequently, and while it is necessary, varying the language could enhance cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, try incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases for frequently used terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "government," consider using "authorities," "regulatory bodies," or "policy makers." Additionally, incorporating more varied transitional phrases can help to indicate contrast or addition, such as "on the other hand," "in addition," or "conversely," which would enrich the text and improve flow.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can enhance its coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in these criteria.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of waste management and environmental issues. Terms such as "environmental degradation," "sustainable habits," "landfill pollution," and "alternative energy sources" are effectively used to convey complex ideas. The use of phrases like "collective action" and "environmental stewardship" shows an ability to express nuanced opinions. However, there are moments where the vocabulary could be more varied; for instance, the repeated use of "waste" could be substituted with synonyms like "refuse," "garbage," or "debris" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. This could involve brainstorming alternative vocabulary before writing or utilizing a thesaurus to find suitable replacements for frequently used words.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, conveying the intended meaning effectively. For example, phrases like "government intervention" and "stricter regulations" are precise and appropriate in the context. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the phrase "the optimal solution lies in individuals taking personal responsibility" could be more accurately expressed as "an effective solution involves individuals taking personal responsibility," which clarifies that it is one of several solutions rather than the best one.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on the context in which words are used. Reviewing sentences to ensure that the chosen vocabulary conveys the intended meaning without ambiguity will help. Additionally, practicing paraphrasing could aid in selecting more precise terms.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words such as "escalate," "sustainable," and "accountable" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. This accuracy supports the writer’s credibility and enhances the readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch any overlooked mistakes. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can be beneficial.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with a band score of 7 for Lexical Resource. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is prevalent, such as in the phrase, "If the government were to control illegal waste disposal and promote the utilization of alternative energy sources, such as wind power, it would significantly contribute to the creation of a more sustainable environment." This showcases an effective use of conditional structures. Additionally, the essay employs various sentence openings and lengths, which helps maintain reader interest. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence patterns, particularly in the way arguments are introduced (e.g., "Proponents emphasize that…" and "However, although…").
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of consistently starting with "Proponents emphasize that…" or "However, although…", you could use phrases like "One compelling argument is that…" or "Conversely, it can be argued that…". Additionally, integrating more compound-complex sentences could enhance the overall sophistication of the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely maintains grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, in the sentence, "the responsibility for managing waste and reducing environmental impact primarily lies with corporations and governments," the structure is sound, and the meaning is clear. However, there are some punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "which" in the phrase "which can minimize air pollution and reduce reliance on fossil fuels," which could lead to confusion regarding the clause’s function.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, it is essential to review the rules regarding the use of commas, particularly in complex sentences. Practicing the identification of dependent and independent clauses can help in determining where commas are necessary. Additionally, proofreading the essay for common grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles, can further enhance accuracy. Engaging in targeted grammar exercises focusing on these areas could also be beneficial.
Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a clear argument, but attention to diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy will further strengthen the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
As the global population continues to grow rapidly, concerns about environmental degradation have become increasingly pressing. While some argue that the optimal solution lies in individuals taking personal responsibility for reducing and recycling waste, I contend that large corporations and government intervention are more effective approaches to managing waste and pollution. If the government were to regulate illegal waste disposal and promote the adoption of alternative energy sources, such as wind power, it would significantly contribute to creating a more sustainable environment. This essay will discuss both views and argue that the role of government is essential in addressing environmental issues.
Proponents emphasize that raising awareness about waste reduction is crucial, as it can reduce landfill pollution and contribute to a more sustainable waste management system. When a significant number of individuals collectively engage in waste reduction efforts, they can make a substantial difference in addressing waste management challenges. For example, if everyone makes an effort to reduce household waste and limit the use of single-use plastics, this collective action can result in a significant reduction in overall waste. Moreover, by raising public awareness and educating people on environmental issues, governments can promote the development of sustainable habits, ultimately fostering a culture of environmental stewardship. Nevertheless, these individual measures should be part of a broader strategy, which also includes government intervention such as stricter regulations on waste and pollution, to form a comprehensive approach to tackling environmental issues.
However, although individuals’ efforts are vital to reducing pollution, the primary responsibility for managing waste and reducing environmental impact rests with corporations and governments, which have a greater capacity to influence environmental outcomes. Through the implementation of stricter regulations and policies, the government can require companies to adopt more sustainable practices, such as reducing plastic packaging or investing in alternative energy, thereby significantly reducing environmental impact. For instance, many developed countries have successfully implemented stricter regulations on companies manufacturing plastic packaging, leading to a decrease in plastic waste. Furthermore, authorities can subsidize wind power and other forms of alternative energy in various industries, which can minimize air pollution and reduce reliance on fossil fuels. Therefore, the government’s role is vital in reducing pollution, as it ensures the protection of the environment through the application of stricter regulations on plastic production and the promotion of alternative energy sources.
In conclusion, although personal responsibility for reducing waste is crucial, the role of authorities is vital in enhancing the environment through policies that prohibit plastic production and promote the use of alternative energy. These government measures are more effective in combating environmental issues and fostering a healthier environment for citizens. By reducing financial barriers and ensuring equal opportunities for all to contribute to environmental protection, governments can play a key role in addressing the global challenge of pollution and waste management.