Some countries are encouraging foreign companies to open in their country. Is this a negative or positive development?

Some countries are encouraging foreign
companies to open in their country. Is this a negative or positive development?

In recent years, mergers and emergence of international companies are increasing. Authorities clearly recognize the advantages that international companies bring so they invite international companies to open in their countries. This essay will examine two sides of this problem: positive and negative.

The appearance of many foreign companies has an array of benefits. First, international firms can bring a great deal to the economy. These companies have cutting-edge technology, which helps countries have the higher opportunity to transfer the technology and get a downward trend in the unemployment rate. Besides, they also introduce healthy competition, leading to improved product quality and lower prices for consumers. For example, Guangzhou goods in China enter the Vietnamese market and they sell the products at a hot price. This also helps the companionship among countries better and increase the peace globally.

Despite the positive aspects, foreign companies have their own drawbacks. When the country has international firms, these companies inevitably avoid the exchange tradition and customs. This distorts core values of ethnic and can lead to diminish cultural values. Moreover, because of the strength of foreign corporations, they accompany better resources, which make it easy to grasp the national economy. This causes the host country to be in a passive position, dependent on foreign companies. If those firms leave, their economies will also suffer.

In conclusion, although foreign companies bring to the host countries many advantages with great economies, international firms make the country's economy dependent.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"mergers and emergence of international companies" -> "the mergers and emergence of international companies"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "mergers" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more formal and precise.
"Authorities clearly recognize" -> "Authorities have recognized"
Explanation: Changing "clearly recognize" to "have recognized" shifts the verb tense to the past perfect, which is more appropriate for discussing ongoing or completed actions in a historical context.
"open in their countries" -> "establish operations in their countries"
Explanation: "Establish operations" is a more formal and specific term than "open," which is vague and informal in this context.
"This essay will examine" -> "This essay will explore"
Explanation: "Explore" is more academically appropriate than "examine" in this context, suggesting a deeper analysis rather than a simple examination.
"an array of benefits" -> "a range of benefits"
Explanation: "A range of" is more commonly used in academic writing to describe a variety of items or effects, making it more natural and precise.
"have cutting-edge technology" -> "possess cutting-edge technology"
Explanation: "Possess" is more formal and precise than "have" in this context, emphasizing the ownership and control of technology.
"have the higher opportunity" -> "have greater opportunities"
Explanation: "Greater opportunities" is grammatically correct and more formal than "the higher opportunity," which is awkward and incorrect.
"get a downward trend in the unemployment rate" -> "experience a decline in the unemployment rate"
Explanation: "Experience a decline" is more precise and formal than "get a downward trend," which is colloquial and vague.
"at a hot price" -> "at a competitive price"
Explanation: "At a competitive price" is a more formal and accurate description of pricing strategies, avoiding the colloquial "hot price."
"This also helps the companionship among countries better and increase the peace globally" -> "This also fosters greater cooperation among nations and enhances global peace"
Explanation: "Fosters greater cooperation" and "enhances global peace" are more precise and formal, replacing the vague and informal "helps the companionship among countries better and increase the peace globally."
"avoid the exchange tradition and customs" -> "neglect traditional practices and customs"
Explanation: "Neglect traditional practices" is more specific and formal than "avoid the exchange tradition," which is unclear and awkward.
"distorts core values of ethnic" -> "undermines core ethnic values"
Explanation: "Undermines core ethnic values" is grammatically correct and more formal, improving clarity and precision.
"accompany better resources" -> "possess superior resources"
Explanation: "Possess superior resources" is more formal and precise than "accompany better resources," which is awkward and unclear.
"make it easy to grasp the national economy" -> "facilitate control of the national economy"
Explanation: "Facilitate control of the national economy" is more specific and formal, avoiding the colloquial "make it easy to grasp."
"dependent on foreign companies" -> "dependent on foreign companies’ influence"
Explanation: Adding "influence" clarifies the nature of the dependence, making the statement more specific and formal.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both the positive and negative aspects of foreign companies opening in a host country. However, it lacks depth in exploring these points. For instance, while it mentions benefits such as technological advancement and healthy competition, it does not fully elaborate on how these factors specifically impact the economy or society. Additionally, the drawbacks are mentioned but not sufficiently analyzed; the discussion on cultural distortion is vague and lacks concrete examples or evidence.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each part of the question is addressed in detail. This could involve providing specific examples of countries that have successfully integrated foreign companies and the tangible benefits they experienced. Similarly, for the negative aspects, exploring real-world implications of cultural loss or economic dependency with specific case studies would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that acknowledges both sides of the argument; however, it lacks a definitive stance. The conclusion states that foreign companies bring advantages but also create dependency, yet it does not clearly indicate whether the author views this as a positive or negative development overall. This ambiguity can confuse the reader regarding the writer’s true perspective.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. A clear thesis statement that leans towards one side, supported by balanced arguments, would provide clarity. The conclusion should also reiterate this position decisively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay presents some ideas, they are not fully developed or supported. For example, the mention of "cutting-edge technology" lacks an explanation of how this technology benefits the host country beyond mere mention. The examples provided are also weak; the reference to "Guangzhou goods in China" entering the Vietnamese market is unclear and does not effectively illustrate the point.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each idea presented. This can be achieved by providing more detailed examples, statistics, or expert opinions that support claims. Each paragraph should ideally contain a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on the idea and provide evidence.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the pros and cons of foreign companies. However, some points, such as "helping companionship among countries" and "increasing peace globally," are somewhat tangential and do not directly relate to the core question of whether the development is positive or negative.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the question. It would be beneficial to avoid vague statements that do not clearly connect to the main argument. Each paragraph should directly address the implications of foreign companies on the host country, ensuring that all content is relevant to the prompt.

In summary, to improve the essay’s band score, the writer should focus on providing a more comprehensive analysis of both sides of the argument, clearly articulate a position, support ideas with detailed examples, and maintain relevance throughout the essay. Additionally, ensuring that the essay meets the word count requirement is crucial, as being under the word limit can significantly impact the overall score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both positive and negative aspects, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of foreign companies to their drawbacks feels abrupt. The essay mentions benefits like technology transfer and competition but does not clearly link these points to the subsequent discussion on cultural impacts and economic dependency.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly. For example, after discussing the benefits, a sentence like "However, these advantages come with significant risks that must be considered" could provide a clearer transition to the drawbacks.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate ideas, with one paragraph dedicated to the benefits and another to the drawbacks. However, the paragraphs could be more developed. The first body paragraph lists benefits but lacks depth in analysis and examples, while the second body paragraph presents drawbacks but could benefit from more elaboration on each point.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally contain a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples. For instance, when discussing the economic benefits, you could elaborate on how technology transfer specifically impacts local industries. In the drawbacks section, consider expanding on how cultural values are affected by foreign companies with specific examples or case studies.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first," "besides," and "despite," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the connections between ideas could be more explicit. For example, the phrase "this also helps the companionship among countries better" lacks clarity and does not effectively link back to the previous point about competition.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases such as "furthermore," "in addition," "consequently," and "for instance." This variety will help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used correctly and enhances the clarity of the argument. For example, instead of saying "this also helps," you could say "Furthermore, this fosters better relationships among countries, contributing to global peace."

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion, ultimately enhancing the clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, such as "mergers," "cutting-edge technology," and "healthy competition." However, the repetition of phrases like "international companies" and "foreign companies" indicates a limited variety in word choice. Additionally, terms like "downward trend" and "hot price" are somewhat informal and could be replaced with more precise alternatives.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "foreign companies," alternatives like "overseas enterprises" or "multinational corporations" could be employed. Furthermore, replacing "hot price" with "competitive pricing" would elevate the formal tone of the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used accurately, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, "get a downward trend in the unemployment rate" is awkward and could be misinterpreted. The phrase "accompany better resources" is also unclear and does not convey the intended meaning effectively.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning. Instead of "get a downward trend," a clearer expression would be "contribute to a decrease in the unemployment rate." Similarly, "provide better resources" would be a more precise way to convey the idea of foreign companies bringing valuable assets.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "companionship" instead of "cooperation" and "diminish" which should be "diminishing." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can enhance spelling skills over time.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "Authorities clearly recognize the advantages that international companies bring so they invite international companies to open in their countries" effectively convey detailed information. However, there is a tendency to rely on simpler structures, particularly in the second paragraph, where sentences like "This also helps the companionship among countries better and increase the peace globally" could be more varied. The use of passive voice is also limited, which could enhance the complexity of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex and compound sentences. For example, instead of stating "This also helps the companionship among countries better and increase the peace globally," you could rephrase it to "This not only enhances companionship among countries but also contributes to global peace." Additionally, using conditional sentences or varying the order of clauses can add complexity and interest to your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, "mergers and emergence of international companies are increasing" should be "the emergence of international companies is increasing," as ’emergence’ is a singular noun. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could improve readability, such as before "which helps countries have the higher opportunity" for clearer separation of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that singular and plural forms are used correctly. Regularly reviewing grammar rules can help, especially regarding noun forms and verb conjugations. Additionally, practicing punctuation, particularly the use of commas in complex sentences, will improve clarity. For example, revising "This causes the host country to be in a passive position, dependent on foreign companies" to "This causes the host country to become passive and dependent on foreign companies" can streamline the sentence and improve flow.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, the mergers and emergence of international companies have been on the rise. Authorities have recognized the advantages that these companies bring, prompting them to invite foreign firms to establish operations in their countries. This essay will explore both the positive and negative aspects of this development.

The presence of many foreign companies offers a range of benefits. First, international firms can significantly contribute to the economy. These companies possess cutting-edge technology, which provides countries with greater opportunities to transfer this technology and experience a decline in the unemployment rate. Additionally, they introduce healthy competition, leading to improved product quality and lower prices for consumers. For example, Guangzhou goods in China entering the Vietnamese market are sold at a competitive price. This also fosters greater cooperation among nations and enhances global peace.

Despite the positive aspects, foreign companies have their drawbacks. When international firms operate in a country, they may neglect traditional practices and customs. This undermines core ethnic values and can lead to a diminishment of cultural identity. Moreover, due to the superior resources that foreign corporations possess, they can easily facilitate control of the national economy. This situation may leave the host country in a passive position, becoming dependent on foreign companies’ influence. If these firms were to leave, the local economy could suffer significantly.

In conclusion, although foreign companies bring many advantages to host countries, such as economic growth and technological advancement, they also create a dependency that can undermine the local economy and cultural identity.