Some countries introduce laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are there laws introduced ? Do you think is a positive or negative devslopment ?

Decrees regulating the working time frame for workers are passed by several nations .This essay discuss a few causes that laws are implemented. I think this development is positive
There are some reasons that make government introduce mentioned laws. One of primary reasons is that Working overtime can lead to health problems. To be more specific, Overtime work often gives rise to higher levels of stress and anxiety, which have detrimental impacts on both mental and physical health. Moreover, Fatigue and burnout due to overtime can diminish cognitive abilities, which can raise the risk of workplace accidents and injuries. Another reason of that is Working overtime contributes to decrease productivity because of health issues. To elaborate, Employees ,who don't have enough energy ,are more prone to making mistakes can lead to rework, delays, and other productivity losses, which is the main factor reducing output and resulting in lower work efficiency
It is clear that Executing laws on restricting working hours can offer considerable positive effects.Firstly, Limiting the number of hours for working allows employees to have more time for family, hobbies, and personal activities, leading to better work-life balance. Secondly, Adjusting working time frame can help reduce the risk of stress related to mental and physical concerns such as depression, exhaustion and anxiety. Finally, Shortening working hours can bring about more focused and efficiwnt work as employees are less likely to waste time on unproductive activities

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Decrees regulating the working time frame for workers are passed by several nations" -> "Legislations governing working hours are enacted by various countries"
Explanation: Replacing "Decrees" with "Legislations" and "passed by several nations" with "enacted by various countries" enhances the formality and specificity of the language, aligning it better with academic style.
"This essay discuss a few causes that laws are implemented." -> "This essay discusses several reasons why these laws are implemented."
Explanation: Changing "discuss" to "discusses" corrects the verb tense consistency, and rephrasing "a few causes that laws are implemented" to "several reasons why these laws are implemented" clarifies the subject and improves the sentence structure for academic clarity.
"I think this development is positive" -> "I contend that this development is beneficial"
Explanation: Replacing "I think" with "I contend" shifts the tone from personal opinion to a more assertive, academic stance, and "beneficial" is a more precise term than "positive" in this context.
"One of primary reasons" -> "One primary reason"
Explanation: Removing "of" corrects the grammatical error, making the phrase grammatically correct and more concise.
"Overtime work often gives rise to higher levels of stress and anxiety" -> "Overtime work frequently leads to elevated levels of stress and anxiety"
Explanation: Replacing "gives rise to" with "leads to" and "often" with "frequently" uses more precise and formal language suitable for academic writing.
"Fatigue and burnout due to overtime can diminish cognitive abilities" -> "Fatigue and burnout resulting from overtime can impair cognitive functions"
Explanation: Replacing "diminish" with "impair" and "abilities" with "functions" uses more precise and technical vocabulary appropriate for an academic context.
"Employees,who don’t have enough energy,are more prone to making mistakes" -> "Employees who lack sufficient energy are more susceptible to errors"
Explanation: Removing the comma after "Employees" corrects the punctuation, and replacing "don’t have enough energy" with "lack sufficient energy" and "making mistakes" with "errors" refines the language for formality and precision.
"can lead to rework, delays, and other productivity losses" -> "may result in rework, delays, and other productivity losses"
Explanation: Changing "can lead to" to "may result in" shifts the tone to a more cautious and formal prediction, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"Executing laws on restricting working hours" -> "Implementing laws restricting working hours"
Explanation: Replacing "Executing" with "Implementing" corrects the verb choice to a more accurate term for the context of enacting laws, and removing "on" before "restricting" corrects the prepositional phrase.
"Adjusting working time frame can help reduce" -> "Adjusting the working time frame can help reduce"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "working time frame" corrects the article usage, ensuring grammatical accuracy.
"Shortening working hours can bring about more focused and efficiwnt work" -> "Shortening working hours can lead to more focused and efficient work"
Explanation: Correcting "efficiwnt" to "efficient" fixes a typographical error, and replacing "bring about" with "lead to" uses a more formal and precise verb choice.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing reasons for the introduction of laws limiting working hours and providing a viewpoint on whether this is a positive development. However, it does not fully explore the second part of the question regarding whether this is a positive or negative development. The conclusion states that the author thinks it is positive, but there is little elaboration or justification for this opinion. The essay lacks a clear discussion on potential negative aspects of limiting working hours, which is essential for a balanced response.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay should include a more detailed examination of both sides of the argument. For instance, the author could discuss potential drawbacks of limiting working hours, such as the impact on businesses or the economy, before concluding with a personal opinion supported by evidence.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay states a clear position that limiting working hours is a positive development; however, this position is not consistently supported throughout the essay. The initial paragraphs focus primarily on the reasons for the laws without adequately connecting these reasons back to the author’s stance. The conclusion briefly mentions the positive aspects but lacks depth and does not tie back to the earlier points effectively.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the author should explicitly link each reason discussed back to the overall argument that limiting working hours is beneficial. This could be achieved by including transitional phrases that reinforce the connection between the reasons provided and the author’s viewpoint, ensuring that the reader understands how each point supports the conclusion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the reasons for implementing laws to limit working hours, such as health issues and productivity concerns. However, the ideas are not fully developed or supported with sufficient examples or evidence. For instance, while the essay mentions health problems, it does not provide specific examples or data to illustrate the extent of these issues or how they relate to working hours.
- How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and support ideas, the author should include specific examples or statistics that reinforce the points made. For instance, citing studies that show the correlation between long working hours and health problems would strengthen the argument. Additionally, expanding on each point with further explanation or real-world examples would enhance the depth of the discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the reasons for laws limiting working hours and the author’s opinion on the matter. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the transition between discussing reasons for the laws and the author’s opinion. The essay also contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that detract from the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the author should ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main question. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity would help improve the overall coherence of the essay. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can also help guide the reader and keep the discussion on track.

Overall, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the author should aim to provide a more balanced discussion, develop ideas with specific examples, maintain a consistent position, and ensure clarity and coherence throughout the writing.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For example, the transition between the reasons for introducing laws and the discussion of their positive effects lacks a smooth connection. The essay jumps from discussing reasons to the benefits without adequately linking these ideas. The use of phrases like "Another reason of that is" could be more effectively transitioned to maintain coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that clearly indicate the relationship between ideas. For instance, after discussing the reasons for implementing laws, a sentence like "These reasons underscore the necessity of such laws, as they lead to significant benefits for both employees and employers" could create a smoother transition to the next paragraph.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. However, the first paragraph could be split into two for better clarity: one focusing on the reasons for the laws and the other on the implications of these laws. Additionally, the conclusion is somewhat abrupt and could benefit from a more comprehensive summary of the main points discussed.
- How to improve: Consider dividing the first body paragraph into two distinct paragraphs: one detailing the reasons for the introduction of laws and the other discussing the negative consequences of not having such laws. Furthermore, ensure that the conclusion revisits the main arguments presented, reinforcing the essay’s overall message.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Moreover" and "First," to connect ideas. However, there is a limited range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay. For instance, the phrase "To elaborate" is used, but other devices like "In addition," "Furthermore," or "Consequently" could enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "Another reason of that is," which detracts from the overall cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, practice incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeating "Another reason of that is," consider using "Additionally" or "Another contributing factor is." This will not only improve the flow but also demonstrate a greater command of language. Furthermore, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity and coherence in the argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, enhancing the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt to use varied vocabulary, such as "decrees," "detrimental," and "efficiency." However, the range is somewhat limited, as many terms are repeated or are basic in nature. For instance, the phrase "working overtime" appears multiple times without synonyms or variations, which could enhance the lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "overtime," they could use "extended hours," "extra shifts," or "additional work hours." Additionally, exploring phrases like "work-life balance" and "employee well-being" could enrich the vocabulary used.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "contributes to decrease productivity" is awkward and should be rephrased for clarity. The phrase "can lead to health problems" is vague and could be more specific about the types of health problems. Moreover, "executing laws" is an unusual collocation; "enforcing laws" would be more appropriate.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should choose words that convey their intended meaning more clearly. For instance, instead of "contributes to decrease productivity," they could say "leads to reduced productivity." Additionally, providing specific examples of health problems, such as "chronic stress" or "mental health issues," would clarify the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "devslopment" instead of "development," "efficiwnt" instead of "efficient," and "of that" instead of "of which." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully or use spell-check tools before submission. Additionally, practicing spelling commonly used academic vocabulary can help reinforce correct spelling. Keeping a list of frequently misspelled words and reviewing them regularly could also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of lexical resource, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "Overtime work often gives rise to higher levels of stress and anxiety, which have detrimental impacts on both mental and physical health" shows an ability to convey detailed ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures, such as conditional sentences or varied clause placements.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use different types of clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "One of the primary reasons is," the writer could use phrases like "A significant factor contributing to this is…" or "Another important aspect to consider is…". Additionally, integrating conditional sentences (e.g., "If employees work fewer hours, they may experience less stress") could add complexity and depth to the argument.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, the phrase "Another reason of that is" is incorrect; it should be "Another reason for this is." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary space before the period in "nations .This essay" and inconsistent capitalization after periods (e.g., "Moreover, Fatigue" should be "Moreover, fatigue"). The use of commas is also inconsistent, particularly in the phrase "Employees ,who don’t have enough energy ,are more prone to making mistakes," where the commas are incorrectly placed.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as preposition use and subject-verb agreement. It would be beneficial to review punctuation rules, especially regarding comma placement and the use of conjunctions. Practicing sentence combining and restructuring could also help in reducing run-on sentences and fragments. A thorough revision process, perhaps with the help of grammar-checking tools or peer feedback, could help identify and correct these issues before final submission.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical accuracy will help elevate the score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

Decrees regulating the working time frame for workers are passed by several nations. This essay discusses a few reasons why these laws are implemented. I think this development is positive.

There are some reasons that make governments introduce these laws. One primary reason is that working overtime can lead to health problems. To be more specific, overtime work often gives rise to higher levels of stress and anxiety, which have detrimental impacts on both mental and physical health. Moreover, fatigue and burnout due to overtime can diminish cognitive abilities, which can raise the risk of workplace accidents and injuries. Another reason is that working overtime contributes to decreased productivity because of health issues. To elaborate, employees who don’t have enough energy are more prone to making mistakes, which can lead to rework, delays, and other productivity losses, ultimately reducing output and resulting in lower work efficiency.

It is clear that implementing laws restricting working hours can offer considerable positive effects. Firstly, limiting the number of hours for working allows employees to have more time for family, hobbies, and personal activities, leading to a better work-life balance. Secondly, adjusting the working time frame can help reduce the risk of stress related to mental and physical concerns such as depression, exhaustion, and anxiety. Finally, shortening working hours can bring about more focused and efficient work, as employees are less likely to waste time on unproductive activities.