Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign
language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of
this outweigh the disadvantages?

Because of the globalization, the barries have been pull down in over the word. As a result, there is demanding for the general language which every one could use as a tool to easily communicate. Some professionals advocate for enforcing the foreign languege into the primary syllabus nor secondary's. Various advantages will dwarf the disadvantages of this idea.
There is undeniable that at this young age, the children should be freely enjoy what they favor and follow the extracurricular activities. Being forced to learn a new tough is rough, due to their flip mind, hardly could them be concentrate totally. Moreover, during the laguage acquistion, the language disorder can unanticipatedly happen in this young ages.
Although, some negative impacts could take place, I still believe having experiment of early learning language is beneficial. Children have the golden time when they can appoarch to new language completely natural. Novel language permeating in primary students' mind in the long period lead to the uncontional reflex. Being invloved in the former language syllabus not only help strenghten their ability but also open their future career. Utimately, sociaty has multinlingual generation.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Because of the globalization" -> "Due to globalization"
Explanation: "Due to" is a more formal and precise preposition than "Because of" in academic writing, enhancing the formality of the sentence.
"the barries have been pull down" -> "barriers have been lowered"
Explanation: "Barriers" is the correct noun form, and "lowered" is the correct verb form, replacing the incorrect "pull down" which is informal and grammatically incorrect.
"over the word" -> "worldwide"
Explanation: "Worldwide" is a more precise and formal term than "over the word," which is vague and incorrect.
"there is demanding for the general language" -> "there is a demand for a universal language"
Explanation: "Demanding" is incorrect; "demand" is the correct noun form. "Universal language" is more specific and academically appropriate than "general language."
"every one could use" -> "everyone could use"
Explanation: "Everyone" is the correct form of "every one," which is grammatically incorrect.
"foreign languege" -> "foreign language"
Explanation: "Language" is the correct spelling, and it should be used as a noun, not "languege."
"into the primary syllabus nor secondary’s" -> "into the primary and secondary curricula"
Explanation: "Curricula" is the correct plural form for educational programs, and "nor" is incorrectly used; "and" is the correct conjunction for listing.
"dwarf the disadvantages" -> "outweigh the disadvantages"
Explanation: "Outweigh" is the correct verb for comparing the relative importance of advantages and disadvantages.
"undeniable that" -> "undeniable"
Explanation: "Undeniable" is an adjective that can stand alone, making the sentence more concise and formal.
"freely enjoy what they favor" -> "freely pursue their interests"
Explanation: "Pursue their interests" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea of freely choosing activities.
"Being forced to learn a new tough" -> "Being forced to learn a new subject"
Explanation: "Subject" is the correct noun, replacing the incorrect "tough."
"flip mind" -> "fickle minds"
Explanation: "Fickle" is the correct adjective to describe minds that are easily influenced or changeable.
"hardly could them be concentrate totally" -> "it is difficult for them to concentrate fully"
Explanation: "It is difficult for them to concentrate fully" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"laguage acquistion" -> "language acquisition"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling errors in "language" and "acquisition."
"unanticipatedly happen" -> "unexpectedly occur"
Explanation: "Occur" is more formal and appropriate in academic writing than "happen."
"having experiment of early learning language" -> "conducting early language experiments"
Explanation: "Conducting early language experiments" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"appoarch to new language" -> "approach new languages"
Explanation: "Approach" is the correct verb, and "languages" is the plural form needed here.
"Novel language permeating in primary students’ mind" -> "Novel languages permeate primary students’ minds"
Explanation: "Permeate" is the correct verb form, and "minds" is the plural form needed.
"uncontional reflex" -> "unconditional reflex"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "unconditional."
"Being invloved in the former language syllabus" -> "Being involved in the former language curriculum"
Explanation: "Involved" is the correct form, and "curriculum" is the correct term for educational programs.
"strenghten their ability" -> "strengthen their abilities"
Explanation: "Strengthen" is the correct verb, and "abilities" is the plural form needed.
"open their future career" -> "open up their future career opportunities"
Explanation: "Open up their future career opportunities" is more specific and formal.
"sociaty has multinlingual generation" -> "society has multilingual generations"
Explanation: "Society" is the correct noun, and "multilingual generations" is the correct phrase, with "generations" being plural.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of teaching foreign languages at a primary level. However, it lacks a clear and thorough exploration of both sides. For instance, while it mentions that there are negative impacts, such as language disorders, it does not provide specific examples or elaborate on what these disadvantages entail. The advantages are also mentioned but not sufficiently detailed or supported with concrete examples.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should ensure that both advantages and disadvantages are clearly articulated. This could involve outlining specific benefits of early language learning, such as cognitive benefits or cultural awareness, and contrasting these with well-defined disadvantages. Each point should be supported by examples or evidence to strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that favors early language learning, but this stance is not consistently maintained throughout the text. Phrases like "Although, some negative impacts could take place" introduce ambiguity, suggesting that the writer may not fully commit to their position. The transitions between discussing disadvantages and advantages are not smooth, which can confuse the reader about the writer’s overall stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion. Additionally, using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader and clarify the writer’s stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are somewhat underdeveloped. For example, the statement about children enjoying extracurricular activities lacks depth and does not connect clearly to the argument about language learning. The essay also fails to extend ideas with adequate explanations or examples, which diminishes the overall persuasiveness of the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on developing each idea more fully. This includes providing examples, statistics, or anecdotes that illustrate the points being made. For instance, when discussing the benefits of early language learning, the writer could mention studies that show improved cognitive skills or better job prospects for bilingual individuals.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally deviates from the main topic. For instance, the mention of "extracurricular activities" and "language disorder" seems somewhat tangential and does not directly relate to the core argument about the timing of language education. This can distract from the main focus of the essay.
- How to improve: To stay on topic, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates to the advantages and disadvantages of teaching foreign languages at a primary level. It may help to outline the main points before writing to ensure that all content is relevant and focused.

Overall, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should work on developing their ideas more thoroughly, maintaining a clear and consistent position, and ensuring that all parts of the question are addressed comprehensively. Additionally, attention to grammar and vocabulary will enhance clarity and coherence in the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general argument for the advantages of early foreign language learning but lacks a clear and logical progression of ideas. For instance, the introduction mentions globalization and the demand for a common language, but it does not clearly connect these ideas to the main argument about primary versus secondary language education. The body paragraphs do not follow a structured format, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. The transition from discussing disadvantages to advantages is abrupt and lacks a clear connection.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the essay should follow a clear structure: introduction, body paragraphs (each addressing a specific point), and conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that outlines the main idea, followed by supporting details. Using linking phrases such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "In conclusion" can help guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs but does not effectively separate ideas into distinct sections. For example, the first paragraph mixes the introduction of the topic with arguments for and against early language learning, which creates confusion. The second paragraph discusses both disadvantages and advantages without clear delineation, leading to a lack of focus.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single idea. The first paragraph could clearly introduce the topic and state the thesis. Subsequent paragraphs should each address either an advantage or a disadvantage of early language learning. This will provide clarity and make it easier for the reader to follow the argument. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph is well-developed with examples and explanations will strengthen the overall structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as "Moreover" and "Although," but these are limited and often misused. For instance, the phrase "Although, some negative impacts could take place" is not followed by a contrasting statement, which undermines the intended effect. The use of cohesive devices does not effectively link ideas or paragraphs, leading to a disjointed reading experience.
- How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "On the other hand," and "Consequently." These can help clarify relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Practicing the use of these devices in context will also help the writer understand how to use them more effectively.

Overall, while the essay presents a relevant topic, it requires significant improvements in organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices to achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt to use a variety of vocabulary; however, the range is limited and often repetitive. For example, terms like "language," "children," and "learning" are used frequently without variation. Phrases such as "the demanding for the general language" and "the golden time" are awkward and do not reflect a sophisticated use of vocabulary. Additionally, the use of "barries" instead of "barriers" indicates a lack of lexical variety and precision.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more specific terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "language," they could use "linguistic skills," "foreign tongue," or "communication skills." Engaging with a thesaurus and practicing paraphrasing can help diversify word choice.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from the clarity of the essay. For example, the phrase "the demanding for the general language" is unclear and should be rephrased to something like "the demand for a common language." Additionally, "the language disorder can unanticipatedly happen" is vague and could be better articulated as "language disorders may unexpectedly arise." The phrase "being forced to learn a new tough" is also incorrect, as "tough" should be "language" or "subject."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on the context of their statements and choose words that accurately convey their intended meaning. Reviewing vocabulary in context and practicing writing sentences with new words can help solidify their understanding of precise usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains multiple spelling errors, such as "barries" (barriers), "laungege" (language), "acquistion" (acquisition), "uncontional" (unconditional), "strenghten" (strengthen), and "sociaty" (society). These errors not only affect the readability of the essay but also undermine the credibility of the argument being presented.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, possibly through online tools or apps designed for language learning. Additionally, proofreading the essay after writing can help catch and correct spelling mistakes. Reading more in English can also improve spelling through exposure to correctly spelled words.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and attempts to use varied vocabulary, significant improvements are needed in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, with few complex sentences. For example, the sentence "Being forced to learn a new tough is rough, due to their flip mind, hardly could them be concentrate totally" attempts to combine ideas but lacks clarity and complexity. The use of phrases like "the golden time when they can appoarch to new language completely natural" also reflects a simplistic structure that does not fully utilize the potential for more varied sentence forms.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "the children should be freely enjoy what they favor," the writer could say, "Although children should be allowed to enjoy their interests freely, learning a foreign language at a young age can provide significant benefits." This not only adds complexity but also improves coherence.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors that hinder clarity and comprehension. For example, "the barries have been pull down in over the word" contains incorrect verb forms and word choice. The phrase "the demanding for the general language" is awkward and should be rephrased to "there is a demand for a common language." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect conjunction usage, contribute to a lack of clarity. For instance, "nor secondary’s" should be "rather than secondary schools," and "hardly could them be concentrate totally" is grammatically incorrect.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and proper verb forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on sentence construction can help. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will enhance clarity. It may also be beneficial to read more academic texts to see examples of correct grammar and punctuation in context.

In summary, while the essay presents a relevant argument, the limited range of structures and grammatical inaccuracies significantly affect the overall effectiveness of the writing. By diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy, the writer can enhance their score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

Due to globalization, barriers have been lowered worldwide. As a result, there is a demand for a universal language that everyone could use as a tool for easy communication. Some professionals advocate for incorporating foreign languages into the primary curricula rather than secondary ones. The various advantages of this approach outweigh the disadvantages.

It is undeniable that at a young age, children should be free to enjoy what they favor and engage in extracurricular activities. Being forced to learn a new subject can be challenging; due to their fickle minds, it is difficult for them to concentrate fully. Moreover, during language acquisition, language disorders can unexpectedly occur at this young age.

Although some negative impacts could arise, I still believe that conducting early language experiments is beneficial. Children have a golden opportunity to approach new languages in a completely natural way. Novel languages permeating primary students’ minds over the long term lead to an unconditional reflex. Being involved in the former language curriculum not only helps strengthen their abilities but also opens up their future career opportunities. Ultimately, society has multilingual generations.