Some people believe that bicycles are the best mode of transport in the cities, while others disagree. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both views and give your opinion​

Some people believe that bicycles are the best mode of transport in the cities, while others disagree. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both views and give your opinion​

The argument over whether bicycles are the best type of transportation in cities has divided opinions. Whereas some people argue that bicycles are ideal for urban transportation, others believe they may not be the most practical option. This essay will discuss the contrast points of both views and provide my opinion.

Focus on the advantages of bicycles, it's clear that there are several reasons why this mode of transport can bring positive effects to life in the city such as environmental benefits, health advantages, cost-effectiveness, and reduced traffic congestion . Firstly, Bicycles are eco-friendly as they do not emit harmful gasses, contributing to a reduction in air pollution and a healthier urban environment. For instance, by not using any energy materials so that it will not produce CO2 to the atmosphere, and then reducing green houses problems. Secondly, Riding bicycle promotes physical fitness and helps prevent lifestyle diseases such as obesity, heart disease and diabetes. Third, bicycles are much cheaper to purchase and maintain compared to other vehicles like cars and motorcycles, making them a more economical option for daily commuting. Besides that, using a bicycle to transfer will make a large contribution for reduced traffic congestion. Bicycles take up less space on the road, contributing to less traffic jams, especially during peak hours.

Nevertheless, There are a lot of disadvantages of using bicycles as a mode of transport in the big cities such as safety concerns, some limitation of speed, range and physical issues, and weather dependence. Firstly, bicycles are unsuitable to transfer in the cities where they do not have modern infrastructure. Cyclists are vulnerable to accidents, especially in cities with heavy traffic and poorly designed cycling roads. Secondly, some limitations of bicycles are also a weak point of this type of vehicle. Bicycles are slower than motor vehicles and are not suitable for long-distance travel, making them impractical for people who need to cover large distances quickly. Furthermore, Not everyone can ride a bicycle, particularly the elderly, physically disabled, or some people who have certaining health conditions. And the last, bicycles are less practical in adverse weather conditions such as heavy rain, snow, or extreme heat, which can defend people from using them regularly.

In conclusion, while bicycles offer significant environmental, health, and economic benefits, they also present certain challenges, particularly in terms of safety and practicality in varying weather conditions. In my opinion, although bicycles are an excellent mode of transport in cities, their effectiveness depends heavily on the availability of proper infrastructure and the specific needs of the individual.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "The argument over whether bicycles are the best type of transportation in cities has divided opinions." -> "The debate regarding the suitability of bicycles as the primary mode of transportation in cities has been contentious."
    Explanation: The phrase "has divided opinions" is somewhat informal and vague. "Has been contentious" provides a more precise and formal description of the ongoing disagreement.

  2. "Whereas some people argue that bicycles are ideal for urban transportation, others believe they may not be the most practical option." -> "While some advocate for bicycles as the ideal mode of urban transportation, others contend that they may not be the most practical choice."
    Explanation: "Advocate for" and "contend that" are more formal and precise than "argue that," enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  3. "Focus on the advantages of bicycles, it’s clear that" -> "Considering the advantages of bicycles, it is evident that"
    Explanation: "Considering" is more formal than "Focus on," and "it is evident that" is more academically appropriate than "it’s clear that" due to the use of the contraction "it’s."

  4. "positive effects to life in the city" -> "positive impacts on urban life"
    Explanation: "Impacts" is more specific and formal than "effects," and "urban life" is a more precise term than "life in the city."

  5. "Bicycles are eco-friendly as they do not emit harmful gasses" -> "Bicycles are environmentally friendly as they do not emit harmful gases"
    Explanation: "Environmentally friendly" is a more precise term than "eco-friendly," and "gases" should be plural to match the context.

  6. "not using any energy materials so that it will not produce CO2 to the atmosphere" -> "not consuming any energy resources, thereby not producing CO2 emissions"
    Explanation: "Consuming any energy resources" is more precise than "not using any energy materials," and "thereby not producing CO2 emissions" is a clearer and more formal expression.

  7. "reducing green houses problems" -> "mitigating greenhouse issues"
    Explanation: "Mitigating" is a more precise term than "reducing," and "greenhouse issues" is the correct term, not "green houses problems."

  8. "Riding bicycle" -> "Riding a bicycle"
    Explanation: Adding "a" before "bicycle" corrects the grammatical error and improves the sentence structure.

  9. "much cheaper to purchase and maintain" -> "substantially cheaper to purchase and maintain"
    Explanation: "Substantially" is a more formal and precise adverb than "much," enhancing the academic tone.

  10. "using a bicycle to transfer" -> "using a bicycle for transportation"
    Explanation: "For transportation" is a more formal and accurate phrase than "to transfer," which is awkward and incorrect in this context.

  11. "There are a lot of disadvantages" -> "There are numerous disadvantages"
    Explanation: "Numerous" is more formal and precise than "a lot of," which is too colloquial for academic writing.

  12. "some limitation of speed, range and physical issues" -> "certain limitations in terms of speed, range, and physical constraints"
    Explanation: "Certain limitations in terms of" is more formal and specific than "some limitation of," and "physical constraints" is a more precise term than "physical issues."

  13. "Not everyone can ride a bicycle" -> "Not all individuals can operate a bicycle"
    Explanation: "Operate" is a more formal verb than "ride," and "individuals" is more formal than "everyone."

  14. "certaining health conditions" -> "certain health conditions"
    Explanation: "Certain" is the correct adverbial form, not "certaining," which is a noun.

  15. "And the last, bicycles are less practical in adverse weather conditions" -> "Furthermore, bicycles are less practical in adverse weather conditions"
    Explanation: "Furthermore" is a more formal transitional phrase than "And the last," which is informal and awkward in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding bicycles as a mode of transport in cities. It discusses the advantages, such as environmental benefits, health advantages, cost-effectiveness, and reduced traffic congestion, as well as the disadvantages, including safety concerns, limitations in speed and range, and weather dependence. Each point is relevant to the prompt, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could benefit from a more explicit comparison between the advantages and disadvantages. For instance, after discussing the advantages, a direct acknowledgment of how these advantages weigh against the disadvantages could provide a more balanced view. Additionally, including specific examples or statistics to support claims would strengthen the argument.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that bicycles can be an excellent mode of transport, contingent on factors such as infrastructure. This position is articulated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion, providing consistency. However, the opinion could be more explicitly stated in the body paragraphs to reinforce the writer’s stance.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the writer could explicitly state their opinion in each body paragraph, linking the advantages and disadvantages back to their overall viewpoint. Phrases like "Despite these disadvantages, I believe…" can help to reinforce the writer’s perspective throughout the essay.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a range of ideas related to the advantages and disadvantages of bicycles. Each point is introduced and explained, but some ideas could be further extended with examples or elaboration. For instance, the discussion on health benefits could include specific statistics about health improvements associated with cycling.
    • How to improve: To enhance the support for ideas, the writer should aim to include more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate their points. For example, citing a city that has successfully integrated bicycles into its transport system could provide a concrete example of the benefits discussed.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of bicycles as a mode of transport. However, there are minor deviations, such as the phrase "not using any energy materials," which could be clarified to avoid confusion about the environmental impact of bicycles.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that all statements directly relate to the advantages or disadvantages of bicycles. Clarifying ambiguous phrases and avoiding overly complex sentences will help keep the reader engaged and ensure that the message remains clear.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task requirements and presents a well-structured argument. With some refinements in clarity, support, and explicit comparisons, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, the transition between points could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the advantages of bicycles to their disadvantages is somewhat abrupt. The use of phrases like "Nevertheless" helps, but a more gradual transition could enhance the flow. Additionally, the points within each paragraph are generally well-organized, but some sentences could be rearranged for better clarity and impact.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that guide the reader through the argument more effectively. For example, after discussing the advantages, you could use a phrase like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" to introduce the disadvantages. Furthermore, ensure that each point builds on the previous one, creating a narrative that logically progresses through the argument.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into clear paragraphs, each focusing on specific aspects of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic, the second discusses advantages, the third addresses disadvantages, and the final paragraph concludes the discussion. However, the paragraph discussing disadvantages could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of the paragraph. For example, starting with "Despite the numerous benefits, there are significant drawbacks to using bicycles in urban settings" would provide a clearer focus.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Additionally, consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they contain multiple ideas. This will help maintain clarity and keep the reader engaged.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Nevertheless," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded. For instance, the essay relies heavily on enumerative devices (firstly, secondly) without incorporating other types of cohesive devices, such as those that indicate contrast (e.g., "In contrast," "On the contrary") or those that show cause and effect (e.g., "As a result," "Consequently"). This limits the richness of the writing and can make it feel somewhat repetitive.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a broader range of linking words and phrases. For example, when discussing the disadvantages, you could use phrases like "In addition to safety concerns" or "Another significant drawback is." This will not only enhance the flow of ideas but also demonstrate a higher level of linguistic proficiency.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of transportation. Words and phrases such as "eco-friendly," "cost-effectiveness," "traffic congestion," and "lifestyle diseases" indicate an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of repetition (e.g., "bicycles" is used frequently without synonyms).
    • How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, consider incorporating synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "bicycles," you could use "cycles," "two-wheelers," or "pedal-powered vehicles." Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to urban transport, such as "sustainable transport" or "urban mobility," could elevate the essay’s lexical resource.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys its intended meaning, there are several instances where vocabulary is used imprecisely. For example, the phrase "not using any energy materials" is unclear and could be better expressed as "not relying on fossil fuels." Additionally, "green houses problems" should be corrected to "greenhouse gas issues." Such imprecisions can lead to confusion and detract from the overall clarity of the argument.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, it is essential to choose words that accurately reflect the intended meaning. For example, instead of saying "transfer," which is vague, use "travel" or "commute." Furthermore, ensure that technical terms are used correctly; for instance, "greenhouse gases" should be used instead of "green houses problems." Reviewing vocabulary in context and using a thesaurus can help in selecting more precise terms.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "certaining" (which should be "certain"), "defend" (which should be "deter"), and "green houses" (which should be "greenhouse"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the credibility of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, it is advisable to proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through exercises or writing prompts can reinforce correct spelling habits. Keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and attempts to use a range of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in terms of lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the overall quality of the writing can be significantly enhanced.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and a mix of simple and compound sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "whereas some people argue" and "this essay will discuss" shows an ability to introduce contrasting ideas effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and structures, such as starting multiple sentences with "Bicycles are" or "Firstly," which can detract from the overall variety.
    • How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For instance, instead of repeatedly starting with "Bicycles are," the writer could use alternatives like "One significant advantage of bicycles is…" or "In terms of environmental impact, bicycles offer…" Additionally, integrating more relative clauses or participial phrases could further enrich the sentence variety.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few errors that affect clarity. For instance, the phrase "it’s clear that there are several reasons why this mode of transport can bring positive effects to life in the city" contains a contraction ("it’s") that should be replaced with "it is" for formal writing. Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the comma splice in "Secondly, Riding bicycle promotes physical fitness…" where "Riding bicycle" should be "Riding a bicycle" and the "R" should be lowercase. The use of commas is sometimes inconsistent, particularly before conjunctions in complex sentences.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. For example, "Riding bicycle" should be corrected to "Riding a bicycle." Furthermore, practicing the rules of punctuation, especially regarding comma usage in compound and complex sentences, will enhance clarity. The writer could benefit from reviewing grammar resources or engaging in exercises focused on common grammatical structures and punctuation rules.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

The argument over whether bicycles are the best type of transportation in cities has divided opinions. Whereas some people argue that bicycles are ideal for urban transportation, others believe they may not be the most practical option. This essay will discuss the contrasting points of both views and provide my opinion.

Focusing on the advantages of bicycles, it is clear that there are several reasons why this mode of transport can bring positive impacts on urban life, such as environmental benefits, health advantages, cost-effectiveness, and reduced traffic congestion. Firstly, bicycles are eco-friendly as they do not emit harmful gases, contributing to a reduction in air pollution and a healthier urban environment. For instance, by not using any energy resources, they do not produce CO2 emissions, thereby mitigating greenhouse issues. Secondly, riding a bicycle promotes physical fitness and helps prevent lifestyle diseases such as obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. Thirdly, bicycles are much cheaper to purchase and maintain compared to other vehicles like cars and motorcycles, making them a more economical option for daily commuting. Besides that, using a bicycle for transportation will make a large contribution to reducing traffic congestion. Bicycles take up less space on the road, contributing to fewer traffic jams, especially during peak hours.

Nevertheless, there are numerous disadvantages of using bicycles as a mode of transport in big cities, such as safety concerns, certain limitations in terms of speed, range, and physical constraints, and weather dependence. Firstly, bicycles are unsuitable for use in cities where there is no modern infrastructure. Cyclists are vulnerable to accidents, especially in cities with heavy traffic and poorly designed cycling paths. Secondly, some limitations of bicycles are also a weak point of this type of vehicle. Bicycles are slower than motor vehicles and are not suitable for long-distance travel, making them impractical for people who need to cover large distances quickly. Furthermore, not everyone can ride a bicycle, particularly the elderly, physically disabled individuals, or those who have certain health conditions. Lastly, bicycles are less practical in adverse weather conditions such as heavy rain, snow, or extreme heat, which can deter people from using them regularly.

In conclusion, while bicycles offer significant environmental, health, and economic benefits, they also present certain challenges, particularly in terms of safety and practicality in varying weather conditions. In my opinion, although bicycles are an excellent mode of transport in cities, their effectiveness depends heavily on the availability of proper infrastructure and the specific needs of the individual.

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